Hi, I'm Snazzy and I'm Trucker

Double sonic burger, with no cheese please...oops, I read the last page posted, bad girl, gotta go back to page 56....hmmmmm. Where was I?

 

Gotta skip the double burger, no cheese please, and head for the cold shower too, after reading page 56!!, whew, hope I make it..I'm starting to think I could use this as bedtime stories!! Thanks, Snazzy!

 

Now Dolly, you don't have time to eat, sleep, nor shower. Page 56 ? Gees ! Maybe, I should write a shorter version for new Snazzers and guest. Oh wait, this is the short version of, as Life Goes On.

Early the next morning I parked, but before I could take two sashays Dan the shop foreman cornered me.

Dan was hot, " Thanks a lot, Barney ! From now on I have to approve all the flats and repairs ! Junior just told me and he said, it was your idea ! "

I back peddled, " My idea ? Oh, about your shop approving that stuff ! Yeah, what's wrong with that ? "

Dan unloaded, " I've got six mechanics to supervise and more work than I can handle ! Now, thanks to you, all of my time will be spent approving crap over the Quail Comm. I can't sit there and do that ! "

I lit up, " Dan, Dan, Dan ! Buy him books, send him to school and he eats the teacher ! Look, your the supervisor over there ! Delegate ! Get that lazy parts runner of yours' to do it. He's always goofing off and ..."

Dan grinned, " Say ! Your right ! I can show him how to do it and just cover for him when he's making a parts run. Hell, most of the time he's just wasting time anyway. "

I blew smoke, " See ! That wasn't so hard and another thing. Your head of that department, so put in for an extra body. Tell Junior, that your up to your ears in alligators ! He's rolling in doe right now and drunk on success. Hell, he said in that meeting, that we're adding on 50 more units, by next quarter. He can't expect you to keep up and..."

Dan got it, " Man ! You sure know how to work the system ! Thanks Barn, I owe you one. "

So, I continued sashaying into my office and checked my computer in-box. Yep, TLX sure was high tech. I mean, that everything said and done was accomplished by fingering the keyboard. Yep, I could hit enter F7 and my screen would view the tracking board. It was an electronic screen that took up an entire wall of the glassed in dispatch area. Yep, it had little blinking lights that flashed the location of every TLX truck. The background was black and the truck numbers were color coded. Yep, green meant loaded, yellow was empty, and red indicated out of route. If the numbers were flashing it indicated the rig was on the move and non flashers were parked. It really was a neat setup and with a few mouse clicks I could zoom in. Yep, a truck could be tracked, within 100 feet of where ever it was. What a deal ! Anyway, I use to sit there in my office and tinker with that GPS system. It helped me to pass the time away and kept me up with what was going on. Now, another neat thing was the Quail Comm setup. Yep, by entering a different code, I could pull up all of the messages sent and received. Oh, most of it was just dispatch information, but every once in awhile it got interesting.

Yep, I was just sitting there killing time, when an all TLX truck message crossed the screen. Now, I caught it right off. You see, if it had been directed to just one truck. Well, only the truck, the message was directed to would have received it. Of course, it wasn't unusual to have a message sent to every truck. You know, maybe a message from the safety department reminding drivers to buckle up or dispatch trying to locate a missing trailer. Well, this message was a humdinger. Yep, it was sent by Ed the General Manager and it read, " I know what you did ! Now, get out of my truck, or I'll calling the police ! "

So, I reread the message several times and concluded that poor Ed had simply fingered the wrong key. Yep, instead of pressing the enter key, for the truck, the message was directed to. Well, he must of hit the shift/enter key and sent that message to every TLX truck out there. Well, I hadn't been born when the market crashed back in 1929. Remember, black Friday ? Well, if you do, then your older than dirt. Now, they didn't have those big screens back then flashing the latest stock news. Nope, it was done by ticker tape machines and brokers stood around reading the tape. Well, no matter how the bad news traveled, I'm sure that the TLX dispatch office looked just like that. Yep, some folks jumped out of windows, others wept openly, and a few screamed in disbelief. Yep, over 600 flashing lights either quit flashing or began flashing red. Some drivers steered North towards the Canadian border, while others headed South for old Mexico. No sooner had the screen gone crazy, every phone lit up. Yep, 50 reports of abandoned rigs littering out nation's highways, as drivers fled on foot. One report was of a team truck, where both drivers leaped from it, while it was still in motion. What a deal !

Ed shuffled into my office, " I can't believe, that I did that ! "

I helped him to sit, " Here have some water and take deep breaths. You'll be alright and it can't be that bad. Oh hi, Junior ! "

Junior looked shell shocked, " I can't believe, that Ed did that ! "

I played nurse, " Here, sit down and drink this. It'll be OK, just take deep breaths and loosen your tie. "

So, the two fearless TLX leaders sat starring off into space, as I bit my tongue, trying to keep from laughing myself silly. Yep, I had been right. Ed had intended that message, to be sent to a driver that had been caught stealing from a shipper. Anyway, it only took a few hours for things to return to normal. No ! Who am I kidding ? Normal ? Well, normal for that outfit. Of course we never did find three TLX drivers and I assume they are still on the run, as Life Goes On.

Nightie night Snazzers, your Snazzy1.

 

Hmmm... lots of guilty consciences there, eh Barn? TLX hires only the best!

 

Wow... first of all, THANKS to Snazzy for this very entertaining thread... (and yes it took me about 2 months to fully catch up to the current page)... it's been a great read!

2) To the mods... it took me months to find this thread to start with... only curiousity had me check it (why does this one welcome post have so many replies?, me thinks back in February) it's a great story... why not move it to the Stories section and Sticky it? I'll bet there's a number of folks that would enjoy it, but have just missed it's existence...

3) To Snazzy... you should consider getting someone to narrate this to cassette/CD/MP3/whatever. This would be very entertaining to be able to listen to on the road... mebbe a monthly "Life Goes On" subscription... kind of a trucker's oriented audio book of the month club. I'm willing to bet this would sell... I'd volunteer to narrate this for you, but I've heard my voice recorded... kind of sound like Alvin the Chipmunk on a bad acid trip... not good.

 

Oh Lordy help us---Snazz is going over to "the other side"-
where evil hides in all the cracks and crevasses of Dantes inferno or
the terminal(which ever is worse).

You cant possibly want to be "one of them" - it signals the
" END OF DAYS ".

 

First, let's have a big Snazzy welcome for trucking-on-through. Man ! Two months of reading this crap. Gees ! Now, if these truer than fiction tales ever were to be narrated on tape. I'd like to hear Daffy Duck or Porky Pig do it. Oh I guess Alvin Chipmunk on acid would be alright. As far as moving this thread into a different area. I'm sure the Moderators have contemplated the recycle bin and that's where it will probably end up. Of course, Snazzy points will be awarded to you and brown nosing is appreciated. I see that Ducks and pjw044 are back for their abuse, so on with, as Life Goes On.


Things rocked along, as the weeks passed by. Well, have you ever felt that your mouth is your worst enemy ? You know, everything was going alright for me and being a recruiter wasn't all that bad. Oh sure, it had it's days but for the most part. Well, you know what I mean. Anyway, one day I was hauling a load of pencils that I had picked at the sharpener. Yep, I'd done those loads before and knew the setup. See, the sharpener plant had an electric milling machine that would hone one end of those things into a fine point. There was a crane there that looked like two giant fingers and they'd load those pencil logs into the trailer. Then I'd secure the back doors and drive at least three laps around my desk. Now, the delivery was the tricky part. You see, I had to back up onto a clipboard and it wasn't an easy back. Yep, it was between the Kleenex Box building and my keyboard. Well, once I was all backed on, two pieces of Scotch tape secured the rig. Yep, a big lift that looked like a human hand would raise one end. Now, there was huge wooden pit that resembled a desk drawer. It would open and all the pencil logs would drop inside of it. Of course, I'd load up several sheets of Kleenex for my next load. They got delivered over to the waste paper plant and that was pretty neat too.

Ed cleared his throat, " You busy Barney ? "

I was honest, " Kind of ! Let me stuff a few more in here and I'll take a break. These #### Kleenex loads pay by the sheet and that ..."

Ed was Ed, " Would you quit playing around ? This is serious ! You need to head over to El Dorado, Arkansas and repower a load for me. It's not but a couple of hours from here and you'll be back before dark. "

I gave Ed the look, " A couple of hours ? Hell, it takes longer than that to get to the Texarkana border ! What's the deal ? "

Ed fessed up, " The #### Idiot driver is out of route and he's trying to pull a fast one. I need that load to deliver on time tomorrow. It's delivers here in Dallas and it's a load of car audio equipment. "

I was me, " Don't tell me ! You went and dug up Tyrone ! "

Ed hushed me, " Don't mention his name. So far, I haven't heard a thing about him and that's good. Let's keep it that way and hope we don't."

I agreed, " Alright ! But, don't you have a truck closer to repower ? I mean, I'll do it, but ...."

Ed cut me short, " If I had anyone closer, I wouldn't be asking you ! So, get started that way and here, take my cell phone. I'll keep a GPS track of him and call you with directions. "

I thought about it, " Wait a minute ! I can take that laptop with me and do my own GPS tracking. I use that when I recruit to show the students how high tech we are. "

So, I sashayed out to my company car carrying my briefcase and a banjo on my knee, err..., laptop in my hand. Yep, I hit IH 20, took the loop, hung a right onto IH 30, and laid her ears back. I flew down US 82 and made it to the Emerald City, just as the big ball fell. Now, Ed had called me every ten minutes. You know, " Are you there yet ? " Of course, he was just being Ed and I was use to it. Well, I tracked the non-flashing red light on the laptop screen. Yep, it was parked and only out of route a good 300 miles. Anyway, I spotted her next to an old run down gas station. It really wasn't in the El Dorado, city limits. It was kind of out in the sticks and off to itself. You know, like a little rural community that had seen better days. Yep, there was one traffic light, a feed store, a cafe, a closed down post office, a church, and not much else. So, I sashayed over had a look see. Yep, sure enough the seal was missing and I knew that wasn't a good sign. Just as I was swinging the door open the cell phone rang.

Ring, ring, " What did you find out ? Is the load alright ? Is the driver in it ? What's going on ? Barney ! Barney ! "

I gave the phone the look, " I just got here Ed ! #### ! This doesn't look to good ! The load locks are on the floor and I bet. Hold on ! Yeah, one of the top pallets has the plastic wrap tore off. There's probably a good dozen or so boxes missing. "

Ed was Ed, " Well, see if she'll start up and do you see the Idiot ? "

I was me, " Nope ! He's not back here in the trailer ! Let me go look upfront and see. Hold on ! You know, it's already dark out here. Gees ! I wonder what I just stepped in ? Hey ! Hey ! Anybody home ! Anyone ? Well, no one is answering me, so here goes. I just opened the door. Hold on ! Man, that's some gooey crap ! Gees ! Whatever did that must of eaten ..."

Ed went postal, " Would you quit worrying about your shoes ! Is the Idiot in there ? Tell me something ! "

I nosed in, " Nope ! Wait ! Nope ! No, it's mess in here, but no ones home. I just turned on the dome light and here's the BOL. Let me see ! Yeah, it's suppose to deliver before noon tomorrow and I bet ! Hell, I'm sure some of this stuff is going to be missing. "

Ed's face stuck thru the phone, " Well, see if she'll start up ! You have that duplicate I gave you ! Will she start ? "

I stuck the key in, " Yep ! She cranked right up and everything. Oh hell ! This thing is running on fumes ! She's all the way over on empty and I bet there's not a fuel stop anywhere near here. "

Ed fingered some keys, " There shows to be truckstop just South of you. I can call and have them bring you some out. "

So, I agreed and waited. Well luckily, I had brought my flashlight with me. So, I checked her oil and it was a gallon low. Of course, Ed called me back before I could dial his number. So, a couple of gallons of oil were added to the list. I went ahead and did a pretrip, secured the trailer doors, and finished scraping the crap off of my shoes. Yep, I was just standing there and wondering where to leave the company car parked. I mean, Ed had told me to just drive the rig back and he'd take care of. Well, you know ! So, I heard the rumble of loud pipes in the distance, as they grew louder. I was kind of curious to see what they were attached to. Yep, I bet out here in the sticks, owning a Hog with wheels is the cat's whiskers. Well, they rounded the curve and swung in. Yep, all fifty of them, wearing outlaw colors and grim bearded faces. What a deal, as Life Goes On.

Nightie night Snazzers, your Snazzy1.

 

And here, as they say---the plot thickens...

 

BARNEY! OH BARNEY-THE LUMPERS ARE HERE!

 

Dang--great picture