Hi, I'm Snazzy and I'm Trucker

Yep 59halfstep, post 633 I remember it well. That was back in my gangster days and your making good time. Here's 50 Snazzy points and you'll get 50 more, if and when you catch up, as Life Goes On.

I cracked the door, " How are you doing ? "

Slim nodded, " Howdy ! Are you Mr Goose ? "

I confessed, " Sure am ! What can I do for you ? "

Slim whispered, " It's about Scumbag and what's been going on around here. Do you mind if I come in ? "

So, I unchained the latch and let Slim in. He stood a good 6'6, was thin as a rail, had sun baked leather skin, and had to be pushing 70. He wore a straw brimmed hat, dust covered western wear, and scuffed up cowboy boots. We sat close to the window and sized each other up.

I broke the ice, " You care for a drink ? "

Slim declined, " No sir ! I never touch that stuff, but you go ahead. "

I took a swig, " So, what's on your mind ? "

Slim introduced himself, " My name is Slim and I've heard all about you, Mr Goose. Now, me and the others talked it over and they decided to have me meet with you. There's a little over $ 600 dollars there and we can come up with more, if we need to. Now, this is a picture of Scumbag and if you look out that back window there. Well, that's where he stays and we figure you could, just plug him from here. "

I lit a 100, " Oh ! Your talking about Scumbag and you want me to snipe him. Well, I don't know what ya'll heard about me, but I don't..."

Slim tossed down some more green, " Here's another $ 200 and I've got a 30 carbine out in my pickup. It has a telescopic sight and you can keep it too. Now, the other fellas said, that a professional like yourself, might want to make it look like an accident. It doesn't matter how you take care of him, that riffle is your's to keep ! "

I blew smoke, " Slim, I hate to tell you this, but ya'll got me all wrong. Now, before you say anything else. I do plan on doing something, but I work alone and don't cut up my business on the street. Ya'll can keep your money and riffle too ! I'd just like a little more to go on. You know, like how did this all get started ? "

Slim paused, " It started a few months back. You know how Pops is and tries to help everyone out. Well, that drifter showed up one day in an old rusty pickup and begging for work. Pops took him in and he did good at first. He pumped gas and did odd jobs around here. Pops gave him free room and board, and even bragged on him. Then as the weeks went by that fella showed his true colors. That Scumbag started stealing stuff and everyone knew he was the one doing it. Pops still kept him on and treated him like a son. Pops even tried to get him to be a church goer. Well, he wouldn't listen and things even got worst. Now, Pops could put up with being ripped off, but when he started stealing from the customers. Well, that was it ! Pops fired him on the spot and ...."

I had to ask, " If Pops fired him then ...?"

Slim continued, " I'm getting to that part ! You see, Pops had an old travel trailer that he gave him. It's wasn't worth much and needed some fixen up, but you know ! It sure beat nothing and Pops even advanced him some pay to make it livable. Well, that was sure a mistake ! That Scumbag pulled that old trailer back behind here and started homesteading. That's when things really came to a boil. Pops had taught that Idiot a little about doing C.B. repair. Well, all of a sudden that Scumbag starts claiming to be a dang expert. He stole an old tower antenna that Pops had and began screaming over the airwaves. He bad mouthed Pops and when that didn't work. Well, he'd sneak over here at night and cut Pops cable. He's smart too and knew that Pops can't climb up there. Well, finally Pops had enough and called the Sheriff. That old Sheriff of ours is as useless, as tits on a wild boar ! We think, that he's scared of Scumbag. Hell, you can't blame him ! One of his deputies went over there and ended up quiting. He said, that Scumbag is nuttier than a rabid skunk and ain't worth getting killed over. "

I poured another one, " How about the State Troopers ? I bet, they'd be happy to ..."

Slim shook his head, " Nope ! They claim we don't have any evidence. The night that Scumbag burned down Pops billboard sign we called them. They came out and took a report, but claimed there wasn't enough to prove arson. Then another time, ole Scumbag broke in and did something to Pops wheelchair. He could of killed him ! Pops was lucky that he didn't break his neck. Hell, you could see the pry marks where Scumbag used his buck knife to get in. Hell, again them cops just wrote up reports and didn't do a dad blasted thing ! "

I put it politely, " Can't you fellas deal with him and try to protect Pops ? I mean, how about some West Texas justice ? You know, tar and feathers, and ride him out on a rail ? "

Slim was honest, " We're all family men and we tried. We offered to pay him off and when that didn't work. Well, we stood up to him and that's the day that old man Hicks got busted up. Hell Barney, we're no match for that guy and get this ! He had us charged with trespassing ! It's just a matter of time and he's going to kill Pops and Mom ! Just like he did old Blue ! "

I stood up, " He killed Blue ? "

Slim nodded, " Yep, Doc Perkins came out and did one of them our tops sees. He found ground glass in Blue's stomach and ..."

I went postal, " That SOB ! I'll kill him with my bare hands ! I loved old Blue and wondered where he was. He never left Pops side and I just figured, that he must of passed away. You know, by natural causes. "

Slim stood, " So, your going to take care of ..."

I covered my tracks, " No ! I was just venting and letting off some steam. We'll have to let the law take it's course and ... "

Slim looked deflated, " I was sure hoping that Pops was right. He said, that you use to be one tough hombre ! The way he talked, you'd come back here and ...."

I winked at Slim, " Just remember what I told you, to let the law handle this and that's all you know ! "

Slim winked back, " Oh, I got you ! We'll let the law handle it ! Yeah, if anything were to happen. Well, it sure wasn't anything we did ! "

So, I handed Slim back his greenbacks and bid him a goodnight. Yep, this was a one man job and one that I was looking forward to. Yep, beating on old folks, burning down signs, and intimidating folks was something. But, killing old Blue was a capital offense in my book, as Life Goes On.

Nightie night Snazzers, your Snazzy1.

 

I see that Simplyred is still with us and trying to get caught up. Let's see, if Lobshot, lilillill, and Pjw044 are satisfied with what happens next, as Life Goos On. What a deal and Snazzy points all around.

It was a little before midnight, as I made my way across the graveled parking lot. A huge full moon lit things up and reflected off the star covered sky. It had turned cool and a light breeze carried a hint of winters end. The distant roar of big rigs echoed across the still night. I crunched my way over to my rig and opened the side box. You know, where drivers store stuff and.. Well, you know. Anyway, I dug thru my Petro duffel bag and checked on my gear. Let's see, duct tape, check, large plastic ties, check, can of pepper spray, check, army blanket, check, Playboy magazine, wait ! Look at them jugs ! Gees ! Hold it ! Man ! Would I like to ... Come on ! Screw you ! Hell, we can gawk at this if we want to ! No ! It's getting late and.. Shut up mind voices ! Wait a minute ! Who is that over there ? Yep, that old one ton Ford dually, has been sitting here half the night. Yep, that cattle trailer has farm tags, so he must be local. Well, let's go check it out! He looks to be all alone and we sure don't want any witnesses. So, I crunched over, making sure the gravel announced my arrival. The driver was slumped low in his seat and kept a watchful eye on me. I stopped a few feet from his door and cleared my throat, " Uuuttthumm, Howdy ! "

The Driver challenged me, " Hold it right there ! I got you covered and don't make me shoot ! "

I lied, " Sorry partner ! I thought, that your truck looked familiar...."

The Driver stepped out, " Who are you and what are you doing here ? "

I cheesed, " I'm Barney Goose and ...."

The Driver lowered his piece, " I'm sorry Mr Goose ! Slim said, that you might be up to something. It's my turn tonight, to keep an eye on things and I'm sure glad your here. "

I lit a 100, " Ya'll take turns out here ? "

The Driver spit his chew, " #### Scumbag ! I'd blow his head off myself, but I got a wife, and kids to raise. Yeah, we been taking turns every night, just waiting for him to set foot over here ! That SOB won't do nothing, as long as we keep watch. I guess you heard him screaming over that CB and cussing Pops ? "

I was honest, " Nope, I just got out here and ...."

The Driver turned up his CB, " Listen to that Idiot ! I swear, he stays on there all day and night ! No wonder Pops lost all of his customers. Who the hell wants to hear that ? "

I agreed, " Yeah, that's pretty bad, but I don't understand something. How does Scumbag afford to stay out here ? I mean, who in their right mind would let that Idiot work on their radio ? "

The Driver explained, " He'll settle down after awhile and start lying about Pops moving his shop back there. Hell, I think that he's selling dope too and no telling what else he's up too. You know, he carries a gun and brags about shooting folks. Oh wait ! I got to settle him down ! "

I had to ask, " What's that ? "

The Driver grinned, " You ain't never seen a stinger before ? Watch this ! See how he's trying to kick that trailer door open ? I just stick this thru here and give him a shot. See ! That's all it takes and he'll behave ! "

I was impressed, " Can I see that ? Oh, it's a cattle prod ! I've never seen one this big. What does this do ? "

The Driver educated me, " You twist that handle to regulate the voltage. See, I have it set on #5 and that's plenty for a bull that size. Now, #2 is just to get their attention, #3 will get them moving, 4 will get them up, if their down, #5 let's them know your boss, and so on. "

I twisted the handle, " What about # 10 ? "

The Driver waved his arms, " No ! That would shock em, so bad that it might kill em. No sir ! That's not a toy ! "

I pointed towards my rig, " You don't mind if I borrow this for awhile ? I just want to ...."

The Driver got my drift, " Hey ! If your going to do, what I think you are, well have at it ! I won't say a word and that's the gospel ! "

So, I sashayed back to my rig and loaded up my gear. Yep, it was time to get down to the rat killing. I clicked on my CB and got my ears full of Scumbag rants. Yep, he was carrying on, like a mad hatter and sure polluting the airwaves. I decided to let him wind down a bit and to form a good plan. You know, no sense in rushing things, as Life Goes On.

Nightie night Snazzers, your Snazzy1.

 

Dang good photo of that cattle prod Big Duker and it sure helps the storyline, as Life Goes On. What a deal and Snazzy points all around.

Scumbag finally wound down and his CB jabber turned business like, " Say, you drivers out there ! Pops has a special going on and it's first come, first served. Yep, a full tuneup, on that CB of yours, with guarantied results. That includes a ten point performance test, tweaking that antenna, and boosting your output to maximum power. All of that, for $19.99, whose going to be first to take advantage of that low price ? "

So, I waited for any takers and of course there were none. Yep, Scumbag must of really been high as a kite. You know, after an hour of cussing Pops and then trying to pretend he was Pops. Anyway, it was a little after 1am and my mind voices had devised a decent plan. Yep, I unhooked from that 53' footer, placed my gear on the bottom bunk, and flipped my CB to channel 21. You know, it made it sound like I had a weak signal. Ole Scumbag fell for it and thought my bleed over was a weak signal.

I keyed the mike, " Breaker, for that CB shop ! What's the 20 on that ? "

Scumbag took the bait, " Take that exit where the burned down sign is and head South. I'm right behind the truck stop, here in my trailer. ! You copy that ? "

Boy did I, " Will go, over and out ! See you in five ! "

So, I slowly cut the wheel and followed the dirt road. It led straight back to Scumbags trailer and man was it a dump. There were junk piles of old tires, old metal 50 gallon drums, and garbage scattered everywhere. The bright moon made the night look day,as coyotes bayed in the background. My heart raced, as second thoughts entered my mind. Yep, here I was all alone and by myself. You know, at the mercy of a mad man and ... Shut up, mind voices ! There swing right past his front door and park here. Now, jump down and stand facing him. See, this way he can't see the TLX door banners. Good ! Good ! Now, keep that knit Simpson cap rolled down, over you forehead. Good ! He can't recognize us, just play it cool and here he comes. Man ! He's a big one ! Six five, maybe six six, two ten, early to mid thirties, long ponytail, rutty complexion, .... " How's it going, man ! "

I nodded, " Pretty good ! How about yourself ? "

Scumbag started climbing in, " I can't complain ! Nice ride, man ! Where's your trailer at ? "

I lied, " I do drive-away and I'm delivering this to an outfit in mumble, mumble, mumble,....."

So, as Scumbag paused and reached up, I poked the cattle prod straight up the crack of his butt. No ! I hadn't planned it that way. See, he was wearing a black leather jacket. You know, like bikers wear and I was afraid that. Well, you know what I mean ! Anyway, he had one knee on the drivers seat and one leg standing on the top step. Now, I'd never stuck a prod up anyones bo-bo and wasn't sure, what was suppose to happen. Well, let me tell you ! It was like a lightning bolt done struck that boy in his butt. He straightened up, as straight as board and smacked his head against the door jam. His pony tail stuck straight up in the air and he made this God awful squealing noise. You know, like a stuck pig. Well, of course I've never heard a stuck pig, but I'm guessing that's how they sound. Yep, the air filled with electricity and the smell of singed bluejeans. You know, like when you forget and leave the iron on. Well, he fell straight back and I barely had time to step out of his way. Now, he was on his back and kind of flopping around, like a fish out of water. His eyes were lit up, like the brake lights of a 1967 Buick Electra and his mouth was foaming, like a mad dog. I stood there and double checked my handy work. You know, like a big game hunter that just bagged a 12 point buck. I poked him a couple of times to see if he was dead. Nope, he was still breathing. Well, short shallow gasps of air, followed by faint moans of excruciating pain. What a deal ! I fastened the plastic ties around his wrist and ankles, and then slowly drug him towards his pickup. His ponytail made a good rope to pull his dead weight up into the bed. I decided to have a look see inside the trailer. You know, I mean, I was curious.

Let's see, empty beer cans, spoiled food, bong, four bags of weed, metal box, sixteen hundred dollars, crack cocaine, powdered meth, crack pipe, and several used syringes. Ok ! Now, let's think about this ! Yep, that sounds good to me ! So, I loaded everything up and got behind the wheel. It was an old Chevy pickup, complete with a granny gear box. She spun over a couple of times, before catching hold. The engine sounded good and she drove pretty decent. I drove past Pops and headed to the Interstate. Of course, I only drove to the entrance ramp and then cut the wheel a hard right. Ole Scumbag was still having some kind of seizure, but I zapped him again. You know, just out of meanness. He jerked a couple of times and fell out the open tailgate. I dragged him over by the open drivers door and planted the evidence. You know, dope, syringes, and some empty beer cans. Yep, it looked just like a drunk, done run off the highway. I cut off his plastic handcuffs and double checked the crime scene. Yep, looked good to me. So, I sashayed back the way I'd come. You know, back to the Century Freight Shaker and drove over to Pops. The sun was just peeping over the horizon when the knocking woke me up.

I unchained the motel door, " Hey Slim ! What's up ? "

Slim was bursting with news, " The cops got Scumbag ! He'd done ran off the road last night and they said, he had a whole truck full of dope. The Sheriff is over at the restaurant now and you need to hear this ! "

I promised, " I'll be over there in a minute. Oh, if you see that driver who hauls them bulls around. Can you give him this ? "

Slim burst out laughing, " #### Barney ! I should of figured that. The cops said, that Scumbag had skid marks on his butt. They figured he got road rash from being ejected, from his pickup. Your a real Hoot ! "

I had to ask, " Well, is Scumbag going to be alright ? "

Slim grinned, " No ! They said, that he done fried his brain on them drugs and that he was talking nonsense. Something about O J and getting struck by lightening. Well, he'll have 20 years behind bars to figure it out. It serves the SOB right ! "

So, I agreed and packed my things. Nope, I didn't stop at the restaurant. You know, I had a run to finish and things to do, as Life Goes On.

Nightie night Snazzers, your Snazzy1.