Hi, I'm Snazzy and I'm Trucker

Yep Broncrider we're back in the fire again and Lilillill, I had to think for a minute, about Lamb Skins. Gees, I've never heard them called that. Now, if Stretchy Pudddin can pull herself together, we'll get on with, as Life Goes On.

I hung a left on the 710 and followed my nose South. It as a little before noon, when I parked in front of the brightly painted motel. Yep, the address was right, but it lacked a room number. I sized the place up and listened to my mind voices form a plan. Yep, that old motel had seen better days, but it wasn't in too bad of shape. Well, for an old place located in a not so good area. You know, it sat next to an industrial park and not too far from the harbor. Across the street sat a liquor store, beside it a pawnshop, and next to that a used car lot. I sashayed towards the motel office and stood before the bullet proof glass. You know, like a bank's drive-thru window. The Turbine wearing clerk was friendly.

I spoke loudly, " How's it going ? I'm trying to find a friend of mine. She said, that she stays here, but I forgot to ask her..."

The Turbine looked puzzled, " Who you with ? "

I paused, " I'm not with anyone and her name is Darline. This is a picture of her and she's expecting me. "

The Clerk spoke in tongue, " Gibberish, fleepy, some huey on rye, gibber jabber, do dah ! "

I got it, " Alright ! Here's twenty bucks and you can keep this if ..."

The metal drawer hit me in the gut, " Put it in there and let me see that picture again. "

I tossed it in, " So, do you know her ? "

The Turbine spilled his guts, " She stays in room 16, but she's not here right now. Are you a cop ? "

I cheesed, " Hell no, I'm not a cop ! Really, I just came by to say, hello. "

The Turbine put the bite on me, " You know, for another $20, I might know where you can find her at. "

I fed the drawer two tens, " Speak to me sweet lips ! "

The Turbine pointed, " See that car lot on the corner ? Just behind it is the Warf Club. She works there as a waitress and should be there now. But hey, I'd be careful over there ! That's a pretty rough joint and she runs with a tough crowd. "

So, I thanked the Turbine and sped back the way I came. No ! I drove slowly over there and eyed the joint. Yep, it was a knife and gun club alright. A couple of big bouncers stood by the open front door and checked on everyones ID. Yep, it looked like the sixth fleet had landed and was waiting to be fleeced. I waited for the line to thin, before sashaying over.

The Bouncer eyed my CDL, " Are you military ? "

I was honest, " No sir ! Well, I was in the army, back 20 years ago ! "

The Bouncer stamped my hand, " That's good, until 2 am ! Just show that and you won't have to pay another $20 cover charge ! "

I protested, " Twenty bucks, just to go in there ? That's awful steep and I'm not sure it's worth that ! "

The Bouncer educated me, " Listen Pops ! This club caters to active duty personnel and you don't qualify for our military discount ! "

I had to ask, " They get a discount ? How much ? "

The Bouncer was rude, " Either pay the $20 bucks, or beat feet ! I don't have time for this ! "

I handed over my twenty, " It better be worth this ! Hell, you smeared ink all over the back of my hand and won't even give me a discount ! I might report ya'll to the Better Business Bureau, or write my Congressman ! "

So with that, I sashayed on in. Yep, the big Bouncer had a good laugh, at my expense, but so what. I mean, he who last laughs, laughs longer ! No, it's he whom laughs last, laughs longer ! No it's.. Shut up, mind voices ! Anyway, I elbowed my way over to the fancy bar and ordered me a tall one. There was a round stage in the center of the club with three naked gals doing the who she, Goose see. Yep, strobe lights, mirrors, deafening music, cold brew, and bare bottomed gals. What a deal ! I struck up a friendly conversation with Peach Fuzz. He was wearing the white uniform of the day and soaking it all in.

I yelled over the music, " Do you come in here very often ? "

Peach Fuzz screamed back, " No sir ! We just got shore leave and this is our first time. Man ! Look at that ! "

I looked, " Yeah, she sure knows how to swing on that pole. "

Peach Fuzz rubbed his privates, " She could swing on my pole anytime ! "

I agreed, " Same here ! Say, you haven't seen her in here ? Have you ? "

Peach Fuzz eyed the picture, " Yeah ! She looks like.. See ! That's her over there, by the jukebox. Man ! She's the best looking one here ! "

So, I sashayed over, " How are you doing ? Your name is Darline, isn't it ? "

Darline set her tray down, " Who's asking ? "

I was honest, " I'm Barney Goose and your dad sent me. "

Darline folded her arms, " Is he here ? What about my money ! "

The Huge Hand squeezed my shoulder, " Pops ! You need to take a seat and leave the girls alone. "

I turned and looked up, " Do what ? I was just..."

Darline defended me, " It's okay ! He offered to buy me a drink and.."

Huge Hand pointed, " Well ! There's a table, so get to it ! Time is money girl and you know the rules ! "

So, I followed Darline over and we sat at a small table. Another pair of naked breast brought over the silver gauntlet. You know, it was a shiny container filled with ice and a cheap bottle of champ pain.

Darline scooted her chair closer, " If you have my money, I'll pay for it, otherwise it's a hundred bucks. "

I peeled off a bill, " Here and here's a little extra. Now, we need to talk and get somethings straight ! "

Darline popped the top, " I can't talk here and we're being watched. Now, dad did have you bring my money ? I mean, this isn't a game ! "

I poured a glass, " Yeah, I got your money, but I'm not stupid ! So, let's quit the BS and get down to business ! "

Darline folded her arms, " Look ! I get off at 2 am and you can pick me up out front. Now, have my money, or tell dad, that I'll ..."

I spewed, " #### ! This taste like Horse piss ! Gees ! Ya'll call this Champ Pain ? I want my money back, or I'm going to call the health department and reporting ya'll ! Man ! Poo Wee ! "

Huge Hands came a running, " What's the problem here ? Pops, I done warned you and ..."

Darline took my side, " He's just kidding around and everything is just fine. He's getting ready to leave and ...."

Huge Hands fingered my chest, " One more time and I'll bust you in half ! Matter of fact, why don't you leave now, before it's too late ! "

I called his bluff, " I tell you what ! If you as much, as look at me sideways I'll stick my right foot through your ugly face ! I'm a fifth degree black belt and can rip your heart out ! I'll show it to you, before you die. Well ! Are we just stand here, or are you going to do something ! "

So, the bar feel quiet, as Big Hands lifted me over his head and threw me like a spear. Yep, he had a good arm on him and good aim too. I sure showed them sailors, how to sail. Yep, I must of sailed a good 100 feet, before bouncing off the wall. Of course, I wasn't going to take this laying down. Nope, I got up and headed right back for him.

Big Hands chuckled, " Pops ! I ain't playing ! Now, get out of here, before I have to really hurt you ! "

Darline intervened, " Stop it ! Now, you need to leave and ..."

I gave a Parthian shot, " I'll be back here at 2 am ! You better be waiting and if your friend there wants some more of me ! Well, I'll be here ! "

So, I sashayed out the door and tried to look dignified. Of course, that's hard to do, after you've had the crude knocked out of you. But hey, win some and lose some. Yep, that guy had to be twice my size and half my age. Well, I only had one rule back then. I mean, anyone, anytime, anywhere, was more than welcome to kick my butt once. But, only once ! Yep, a second time was risking being shot down like a mad dog. I didn't play around and wasn't going to start. Yep, I needed a piece and knew where to get one. What a deal, as Life Goes On.

Nightie night Snazzers, your Snazzy1.

 

Yep Pjw044, weirder, weirder, and weirder, as Life Goes on.

The bright sunlight stung my eyes. You know, it had been bar dark inside that club and it took me a minute to see things clearly. Well to be honest, I was a little buzzed, from those cold beers and Big Hands ride. Yep, it was time to get ready to rumble. I cranked up the two seater and let her top down. A quick ride down the 710, doing 95 helped to clear my mind. I exited and made a u-turn back the other way. Yep, I ended up right back where it all began. From the motel parking lot I had a bird's eye view of the large pawnshop, across the street. I sashayed over and stood there waiting. The place was doing a good business, as customers rushed in and sashayed out. It didn't take long, before I spotted my pigeon. He pulled up in an old Olds and parked right in front. The Old Pigeon had on a VFW cap and vest that displayed small pens. You know, little flags and metals that advertised past military events. Anyway, he key opened the trunk and lifted out several gun cases. I didn't waste anytime and sashayed over.

I was friendly, " How are you doing ! Can I give you a hand ? "

Old Pigeon was cautious, " No young fella, I think, that I can manage ! "

I acted shocked, " Is that the a purple heart your wearing ? "

Old Pigeon lit up, " Got two of em ! Yep, this one in Korea and that one in Nam. I bet you never seen a bronze star ? I got that in Kay Sung ! "

I whistled, " Sweeell ! Man ! You must of seen a lot of action ! I never got a scratch on me, over there. "

Old Pigeon had to ask, " Oh, your a Nam Vet, or you ? What branch ? "

I lied, " U S Marine Corp ! We kicked the hell out them over there and what thanks did we get ? I'll tell you ! ..."

Old Pigeon took the bait, " You don't have to tell me ! I was there and know what your saying. #### politicians and lily livered liberals ! "

I hung my head, " We sure lost a few good men. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to get all choked up. "

Old Pigeon patted my back, " Brother, it's good to get it all out ! "

I blew my beak, " Thuuurrrpppp ! Thuuuurrrpppp ! Thruuuuurrrppp ! "

Pigeon offered his hankie, " Here son ! "

I wiped my fake tears, " Thanks ! Oh, I see you that you have some artillery there. What are those ? "

Old Pigeon unzipped one case, " This is a M1 carbine that I got at a gun show several years back, that's a M16 that my son gave me and over there is a Colt 45. That's the original box it came in ! I'm a collector and did have quite a collection. #### government, it's too expensive to live ! My grandson needs an operation and .... Well, he's more important than these guns are. "

I agreed, " You got that right ! So, your planning on pawning those ? "

Old Pigeon confessed, " I have to ! They got half my collection already and if I don't do something. Well, I stand to lose the whole works. "

I had to ask, " How much do you owe on them ? "

Pigeon handed them over, " According to them pawn tickets, I got to pay at least $400 today and that's just on the interest ! "

I did some quick math and mumbled, " Let's see, seven, one hundred dollar loans, at 24 % interest, carry the six, divide that by seven, so that makes it $1,074 dollars ! "

Old Pigeon blew a fuse, " That can't be right ! Oh ! Your figuring what it'd take to get them out of pawn. I'm just going to pawn these to cover the interest on those. "

I rolled my eyes, " Man ! They got you good ! Now, by looking over those tickets, I have a question. Why did you pawn those seven guns, for one hundred dollars each ? I mean, their all worth a lot more than that ! "

Old Pigeon explained, " That Pawn Broke Her told me, that he couldn't loan more than that. I tried to tell him, that their worth..."

I'd heard enough, " Look ! Here's $1,100 dollars and take those tickets in there. Get your guns out of hock and don't do that again ! "

Old Pigeon gave me the look, " Why are you doing this ? I mean, what do you want in return ? "

I was honest, " That 45, some shells and we'll call it even ! "

So, Old Pigeon got a good deal and I got my cannon. Yep, what a deal ! We were both tickled pink and riding high. I sashayed back over to the motel and rented a room. Yep room 17, which was right next door to you know who. I sat on the bed and played with my toy. No ! The 45, come on Snazzers ! Anyway, the digital clock displayed half past a monkey's ### and a quarter to his balls. Well, a little after 6 pm, so I had time to think things over. Yep, plenty of time to zzzz...... What a deal, as Life Goes On.

Nightie night Snazzers, your Snazzy1.

 

I woke up in a panic and eyed the red numbers. Yep, it was 1:51 am and I was cutting it short. So, after a quick lizard bleed and a face washing, I sashayed out to the fancy two seater. There was a cool breeze blowing, so I left the top down, but fingered the thermostat. Yep, them high dollar German cars had it all, even heated seats. What a deal ! I slipped in one of the CDs that I had brought and cranked up the surround sound. ' BAD TO THE BONE, dah, da da da dah, bump bump, dah, da da da dah, bump bump ! ' Yep, it fit my mood and I was ready to rumble. I fishtailed out the motel parking lot and smoked the tires over to the Warf Knife and Gun Club. Yep, there was a crowd out front of drunken sailors, bouncers, and such. I slammed on the brakes, but left the music loud. Let's see, there's Big Hands, or Huge Hands, whatever we call him. Gees, he is big ! I bet, at least 6'8, 320 lbs, and all muscle. Man ! He still has that goofy smile on his face and boy is he ugly. I'm sure glad we have our equalizer with us. Oh, there's Darline and she's over there with him. Yep, here they come, so shut up mind voices !

Huge Hands stood in front of the drivers door, " Your right on time Pops ! Now, hand over the money and get the hell out of here ! "

I secretly gripped the 45, from between the console, " No ! I came to pick up Darline and she needs to... "

Huge Hands held her arm, " She's not going anywhere ! Now, hand it over, before I yank you out of there and stomp a mud hole in ya ! "

I gently thumbed the safety, " I wouldn't try that ! Now, let her go and I'll give it to her. This is between us and ..."

Darline broke free, " You hurting my arm ! All I want is our money ! "

I nodded towards the passenger seat, " Get in and I'll give it to you. "

Huge Hands grabbed my shirt, " Don't try going anywhere ! Now, give it to her and quit jerking around ! "

Darline sat down, " Where is it ? "

I grinned, "Right here ! "

I raised the barrel, " Let go of me, or I'll blow a hole in you ! "

Huge Hands let go, " You don't have the balls ! "

I squeezed the trigger. " KABOOM ! "

Huge Hands feel back, " Ugh, oh, ugh ! "

Darline screamed, " Oh My God ! "

So, I floored the go pedal and away we went ! Yep, Darline tried to jump out, but I had a hold of her robe and wouldn't let go. We were over a hundred miles per hour, before I knew it. Darline finally settled down and looked to be shell shocked. I steered onto the access road, but kept off the freeway. We went a down a few blocks and then cut over off the main drag. The side streets were dark and vacant, so I slowed to a crawl and turned down the music.

I lit a 100, " Are you alright ? "

Darline trembled and sobbed, " Are you going to kill me too ? "

I blew smoke, " No ! "

She begged, " I'll do anything ! Please, please, I don't want the money ! You can keep it, all of it ! Just let me go ! Please ! "

I steered down the alley, " I'm going to park back here, by that dumpster. I want you follow me and don't run ! Do you understand me ? "

Darline nodded, " Just don't shoot me. I'll, I'll, do anything you say ! "

So, Darline snuggled against me and followed my every move. I slid the card through and door number 17 opened right up. I flipped on the lights and took a gander of my hostage. Man, she was a looker. Well, considering the circumstances. You know, she looked pale, shaken, weak kneed, with black eye makeup running down her cheeks, and her hair was a mess.

I pointed towards the bed, " Have a seat ! "

Darline sat, " What are you going to do to me ? "

I was honest, " That's up to you ! Now, take this and count it. There should be $3,000 dollars there. Go ahead and count it ! "

Darline hands shook, " Why are you giving me this ? You can keep it ! I really don't want it. I'm serious ! "

I peeped out the shades, " You'll get the rest of it in the morning. Now, do you need anything from your room ? "

Darline looked puzzled, " How did you know that I live next door ? Who are you and why are you doing this ? "

I sat in the chair, " I'm just working for your dear ole dad and making sure that you get what's coming to you. Man, your goofy boyfriend needs to learn some manners ! Is he all there ? "

Darline paused, " You didn't have to kill him. He just can't, I mean he just never could, deal with people. "

I grinned, " That's an under statement ! Well, I might as tell you. He's not dead and he'll probably be over here looking for you. "

Darline gave me the look, " I saw you ! You shot him point blank ! He never had a chance ! "

I laughed, " I shot him with one of these ! See, I pried off the lead tip and emptied out half of the powder. That Scotch tape on the end, just keeps it from leaking out. It's like a blank ! Your boyfriend is just fine ! "

Darline examined it, " You shot him with a blank ? He's not dead ? "

I repeated myself, " He's fine ! Well, other than some powder burns and poo-poo drawers. Yep, he's a real winner ! "

Darline giggled, " Oh my God ! He's going to be madder than hell ! I can't believe you did that ! So, he's really okay ? "

I rolled my eyes, " No, he's an Idiot ! Why do you put up with him ? "

Darline folded her arms, " He's not my boyfriend ! My ole man is in the joint and doing life, without parole. He kidnapped and raped two teenagers, back in 95. We never were married and I probably never will see him again. Oh, I didn't mean to ..."

I was all ears, " Naw, go ahead ! We've got some time to kill. "

So, Darline held me spellbound, with her life story. Yep, it was like I had figured. You know, she never knew her dad and her mom was a drunk. She dropped out of high school, was a runaway, been through the juvenile courts, and ended up on the streets. The more she spoke, the more I realized, how fragile she was. No, this wasn't some street wise hooker, or drugged out user. Nope ! She was a sweet young girl, trying to act tough. I sat and listened and tried not to notice her shapeliness. Yep, she was a good looking gal. You know, she had pinup looks, like a Playboy model. Silky smooth skin, long soft hair, big bright blue eyes, and a body that wouldn't quit. Yep, I was smitten alright and so horny I couldn't blink. What a deal, as Life Goes On.

Nightie night Snazzers, your Snazzy1.

 

Alright 59halfstep, it's not so, as Life Goes On.

The pounding on the door drew my attention, so I dimmed the lights and peered out the curtain. Darline stood behind me and peeked over my shoulder. Huge Hands banged a few more times, before giving up and stomping away. He got into an old Dodge and drove out the exit.

Darline whispered, " He's not going to give up, until he finds us. "

I flipped the curtain shut, " Well, he'll never look for us here. Now, if you need to get a few things..."

Darline had an idea, " That door over there connects to my room. If there's someway to Jimmy the lock. Well, I can get my stuff and..."

I pulled out my credit card, " It'll just take me a minute. There ! Now, don't turn the lights on and just get what you need. "

She wasn't gone long, " Is that all your going take ? "

Darline confessed, " This is all I have and I packed it earlier. I might as well tell you, Big Man isn't my dad. It was Huge Hands idea to blackmail him. Well, it's kind of my fault. You see, I bragged about my dad being rich and how he abandoned me. I knew it wasn't true, but it sounded better than, I don't who my dad is. Anyway, that's all Huge Hands talked about and he came up with this goofy plan ! I figured that Big Man would just laugh it off. I mean, he can't be my dad. They broke up three years, before I was born ! "

I did the math, " So, your only 17 ? Man ! You sure look older ! I mean, that, you know, uh, in a good way, uh, .."

Darline grinned, " So, you like the way I look ? You know, I filled out when I was in the 9th grade. My mom had a fit and I think, she was jealous. Her boyfriends would bring me things and flirt. Of course, mom was usually so drunk that... Oh, I'm sorry, it's just that..."

I understood, " Hey, the past, is in the past ! But sometimes, it helps to gets things off your chest. Just remember ! Tomorrow starts the first day, of the rest of your life ! Now, here's what we'll do ! Put on these jeans and I have an extra shirt over there. Here, this ball cap will fit you and these old tennis shoes. Now, go in there and get dressed, while I get packed. "

So, a few minutes later we sashayed out. Yep, she looked like a sexy gal dressed like a guy and I looked like a bug eyed fool. Yep, she sure filled out them jeans better than I did. Anyway, I had her hide, behind the dumpster, as I tossed in our things. Yep, we set sail and before sunrise were half way there.

Darline had to ask, " Where are you taking me ? "

I lit up, " We'll get you a room in Ontario and let things cool down a bit. "

Darline nestled closer to me, " Can you put the top down ? I'm freezing ! "

I swung to the shoulder, " Let's see, I think this is it. Here it comes, now I need to fasten this and that over there. How's that ? "

Darline kissed me, " Smooch on the lips ! Then tongue in my mouth. "

I wrapped my arms around her, " Tongues touching ! Mind voices all blabbing at once. "

She wanted more, " I want you inside of me ! "

I knew better, " We can't do it here. Wait ! We're almost there ! Let me get us there and we can do this right ! "

Darline moaned, " You better hurry ! I can't wait ! "

So, I drove fast and furious. Yep, those white stripped lines all became a sold white line, as side objects became a blur. Darline laid her head in my lap, while I tried to contain myself. What a deal, as Life Goes On.

Nightie night Snazzers, your Snazzy1.

 

First, a Big Snazzy welcome to Dandelion our newest Snazzers. Yep, page 40 and I remember it well. Keep on reading and you'll receive 100 Snazzy points, in addition to a new outlook on life. Now Pjw044, has the Snazzy1 ever stooped to pornography to keep folks coming back ? Don't answer that, as Life Goes On.

We were on the 10 and just a few exits from our destination. Darline had nodded off in my lap, when my cellphone rang. Yep, it was Big Man, so I filled him in. Well, kind of, sort a like. You know, just what he needed to know. I'd paid off the girl and his worries were over.

Big Man sighed, with relief, " Good job Barney ! Now, how soon can you be back in Dallas ? "

I thought about it, " That depends on a couple of things. You mean, if I leave right away, or stop and get my things, or fly back, or drive a truck back, or drive this car back, or ..."

Big Man cut me short, " I mean, if you stop and pack you stuff, and then drive your company car back ! Can you make it there by Monday ? "

I had to ask, " What company car ? I don't have a company car ! "

Big Man disagreed, " Keep that Mercedes and welcome aboard ! Your our new General Manager, of our Dallas terminal. I'll see you down there in a week, or two. Oh, there will be a Mr Pompous ### waiting for you. "

So, I folded my phone back and checked on Darline. She was still sleeping like a new born kitten. I steered off the exit and parked out front. Darline smacked her lips, but never came to, as I tilted her head up and sashayed inside. My two favorite security guards snapped to attention and helped me pack my things. You know, what I had left in my room at the TLX motel. Yep, two shakes of a lamb's tail later, I was Eastbound on the Big 10 and eating up the highway.

Darline stretched, " Where are we ? "

I grinned, " Man, you were sure out of it ! We're almost to Phoenix and.."

Darline snapped awake, " Phoenix ! What happened to Ontario ? Why are we going to Phoenix ? "

I lit a 100, " Well, your dad, ( snicker, snicker ), wants me back in Dallas, so that I can run the TLX terminal. I figured, we'd bed down in El Paso, for the night and get an early start tomorrow. Is that alright with you ? "

Darline hugged my neck, " As long, as you stop and let me pee. I really do have to go ! "

I steered to the shoulder, " You can go over there, behind that cactus and knock yourself out ! "

Darline hesitated, " You'll have to come with me. I'm afraid of snakes and of being left out here. "

I took her hand, " Come on ! Now, why would I leave you out here ? "

Darline followed me, " Well, we really don't know each other and ..."

I turned my head, " If I wanted to dump you off; I wouldn't of taken you with me ! "

Darline squatted, " Oops I think, that I just pissed on your jeans. Are you still there ? "

I laughed, " No ! That guy ran off and I'm a snake in the grass ! Yep, I'm getting ready to eat you up ! "

She stood, " You can look now ! See what I did ? "

I rolled my eyes, " #### ! The only pair of jeans on the face of the earth and you had to do that ! Well, come on and we'll find you something else to wear. "

Darline walked funny, " Gees, I really did soak these things ! "

I popped the trunk, " Here, slip these on and try not to crap in em ! "

Darline giggled, " Your sick ! So, how far is to El Paso ? "

I put her in gear, " Let's see, we're just outside of Phoenix, so El Paso is another 350 miles. Give, or take, and it's noon in Dallas, so it's 10 am here. Yeah, we'll be in El Paso, before dark and get us a room. "

Darline slithered into the new pair, " I can't believe that your jeans fit me, so good. Uh, can I ask you something ? Your not married, or you ? "

I was honest, " No ! I've been divorced, for quite awhile, but do have three daughters and their all older than you are ! "

So, Darline leaned her head on my shoulder, as I drove and told her my life story. Of course, it was the abbreviated version ! I mean, we'd of had to, of circled the world twice, just to get past page 40. Well, you know what I mean. Anyway, we checked into a decent motel named the Border Inn and that means PORN TIME ! What a deal, as Life Goes On.

Nightie night Snazzers, your Snazzy1.