Hi, I'm Snazzy and I'm Trucker

Discussion in 'The Welcome Wagon' started by Snazzy, Aug 3, 2007.

  1. 59halfstep

    59halfstep Light Load Member

    Mar 17, 2008
    Brighton, MI
    Looks like Barney is about to start interviewing for his new secretary.:smt058
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  3. Snazzy

    Snazzy Light Load Member

    Aug 3, 2007
    Granbury, Texas
    Gees, kissing Smiley faces and rolling Teddy Bear eyes. Yep 59 and 44, that's worth Snazzy points, as Life Goes On.

    The Border Inn was just off the Interstate and had a nice restaurant next to the office. There was full size swimming pool, an ice machine, and across the street sat a convenience store. Our room was on the bottom floor, so I backed in and we unpacked. There was a large bed in the center, two night tables, with lamps, a wall mounted tv, a dresser, and so forth. Darline had come alive and was raring to go.

    She fished them out, " Here ! These old cut-offs should fit you and I've got this bikini ! We can go for a dip and then get something to eat. "

    I sat on the bed, " No, lets get a bite first and wait for the sun to go down. Maybe them kids won't be out there later. "

    Darline yanked me up, " Well, lets go ! I'm starved and you must be too ! "

    So, we sashayed. No, I sashayed and she wiggled over there. Anyway the meal was pretty good and I tipped accordingly. We returned to our room and prepared to hit the high seas. The cutoffs were a size too small, which caused my mid drift to bulge and my chicken legs to standout. On the other hand, Darline looked like a young Brook Shields. So, I quickly wrapped a towel around my shoulders and tried to suck it in. The water was a bit chilly, so I perched on the edge and dangled my feet in. Darline did a half gainer, triple twist, back flip, from the board. The crowd roared and egged her on. Yep, we weren't alone, because second platoon, B company, was having a bachelor party, for one of their own. What a deal ! One of the young cadets offered me a seat and a cold beer, so I sashayed over and joined them. It was a round umbrella table that was missing the umbrella. The group was made up of all muscle bound, hard bodies, and none too sober.

    The Tall One spoke first, " Sir, I'd like to offer your daughter a beer; if that's alright, with you. "

    I took a swig, " She's not my daughter and that's up to her. "

    Tall One guessed, " Oh, is she your niece ? "

    I took another swig, " No ! We're not related; just friends. "

    Tall One elbowed his buddy, " I saw her first ! "

    His Buddy jumped up, " You can have sloppy seconds ! Oh, I'm sorry sir we're just horsing around and I sure didn't mean anything, by that ! "

    I lit up, " Don't mind me ! She's a grown girl and can take care of herself. She's probably not even contagious anymore. Say, can I get another beer, or do Ya'll have any to spare ? "

    The Skinny One handed it to me, " We have plenty of beer; now what were you saying, about her being contagious ? "

    I twisted the neck, " Oh, it's nothing. You know, them Doctors all want to make names for themselves. Hell, them fellas might not of even caught it from her. "

    The Table scooted closer, " Caught what ? "

    I blew smoke, " AIDS; well HIV, or whatever you call it ! You know, that sexually transmitted disease. Yeah, it's hard to believe...."

    Tall One spat, " I don't believe it ! Man, look at her ! She ..."

    I took another gulp, " Yep, that's the kicker and what took so long to piece it all together. See, I work for the county Health Department. Anyway, her name kept popping up and guys were dropping like flies. So, the State Boys got involved and had her committed. You know, with a medical warrant, for the safety of the community. "

    The Ugly One sighed, " It'd be worth it ! "

    The Table jumped up, " Well, it was nice meeting you and we've got to get going. Tell you friend that, we wish her the best. Come on guys ! "

    So, B company, second platoon, charged full speed ahead in reverse. Yep, they retreated like their lives depended on it. Darline wiggled over and took a seat.

    I handed her a beer, " Do you care for one ? "

    Darline took it, " Where did they all go and why did they leave their beer ?"

    I shrugged, " Beats me ! Maybe they got called back. You know, there's a missile base out here and ..."

    Darline had to ask, " Did they tell you that ? "

    I was honest, " No, I was stationed out here; remember ? Yep, I was an MP in the 978 th, back during the civil war ! "

    Darline giggled, " You were not ! That was back in 1978, right before your oldest daughter was born ! See, I remember what you said ! "

    I picked up one end, " Well, let's go back in and warm up. It's a little chilly out here and ... "

    Darline grabbed the other handle, " Man, this is heavy and full of beer. I hope they weren't planning on coming back. "

    I cheesed, " I kind of doubt that ! "

    So, there we were, back in the motel room, with an ice chest full of cold beer and nothing to do, but anything we wanted to. What a deal, as Life Goes On.

    Nightie night Snazzers, your Snazzy1.
  4. pjw044

    pjw044 Heavy Load Member

    and awaaay we go.........................
  5. Snazzy

    Snazzy Light Load Member

    Aug 3, 2007
    Granbury, Texas
    Yep Pjw044, away we go, as Life Goes On. Now Snazzers and guest, I must warn you that what follows is rated triple XXX. You must be over 21 and a little perverted to view this. Thank you, your Snazzy1.

    Our room was dark, except for the glow of the tv screen and a star lit night that filled the bay window. I was seated in a chair and searching for a full moon. You know, I figured it had to be up there somewhere. Darline exited the bathroom and paused before the mirror. She brushed her hair and eyed me in the reflection. I was spellbound, by her beauty and sat quietly lusting to taste her passion.

    She turned and spoke softly, " Does this look alright ? I've got other nighties, but this is my favorite. "

    My voice was high pitched, " That, that, looks fine. I guess, that I need to jump in there and rinse off. Uh, I couldn't find anything on tv. Here, see if you can. "

    Darline took the remote, " Don't take all night, because .."

    I ran full speed, " I'll be out in a minute ! "

    So, I stripped out of the cutoffs and lathered up. The warm shower felt good and I made extra sure to get all my private parts. I dried myself and slipped on a pair of boxer shorts. Now, I never cared much for them. You know, I was more of the fruit of the loins type guy. Boxers always bunched up and made me sweat under my jeans. But hey, they were just fine to wear by themselves and looked better than briefs. Anyway, I wrapped the towel around my shoulders and turned off the lights. I slowly eased the door open a crack and gandered out. Darline was seated at the small table, by the window and watching the tube. I sashayed over and fetched myself a cold one.

    Darline smiled, " Look what I found ! "

    I sat across from her and turned to look, " Oh Gees ! What is that ? "

    Darline held up the remote, " It's pay for view, but I guess it comes with the room. Man ! Their good ! "

    I snickered, " No one is built like that ! That has to be fake ! "

    Darline disagreed, " He might be that big and if he is.. Well, I sure feel sorry for her ! Your not that big; or you ? "

    I rolled my eyes, " A horse isn't hung like that ! It has to be fake, or trick photography. Gees ! He's ramming it up her poop hole and .. What is she doing ? Oh, that's another chick and she's munching on her, while horse dick is ..."

    Darline laughed, " Do you always make up names like that ? "

    I confessed, " Yeah, I can't help it. Hey ! Hand me another beer. "

    Darline fetched it, " These are good ! I guess, that I need to ask you something. Now, it's a little hard for me to talk about, but..."

    I twisted the neck, " Go ahead, I'm all ears. Now, if it's about your money, I can give it to you now ! "

    Darline paused, " No, it's not that ! It's about me.... Well, about us having sex. I quit taking the pill a few weeks ago and ..."

    I lit up, " Oh, that's alright ! We don't have to do anything. Matter of fact, it's good you brought that up. If your only 17 and I'm 45 .."

    Darline handed it over, " This is a California ID card and it shows that I'm 21. It's not real, but you can swear that you didn't know. I used that to work at that club and even the cops fell for it. "

    I checked it over, " Yeah, that sure looks real and that's your picture alright. Say; when do you turn 18 ? "

    Darline was honest, " In two weeks ! But, there's something else that you need to know. I have a problem. "

    I blew smoke, " Your not pregnant; or you ? "

    Darline laughed, " No ! It has to do with ... Well, your going to find out anyway, so I might as well tell you. I have a small kitty ! "

    I took a swig, " You've got a kitten in your purse ? I thought, that I heard something ! Where is it ? "

    Darline gave me the look, " No, I have a small twat ! There's a medical term for it and I've seen a specialist. She said, that it's nothing to worry about and it's fairly common. She said, that I might even get bigger as time goes on. My old man never could penetrate me and ..."

    I butted in, " He never got any ? Ya'll were married and he never..."

    Darline corrected me, " We weren't married and never were ! He was a juvenile probation officer and worked at the halfway house. Me and the other girls ran away and he took us in. He was nice at first, but we knew what he was up to. Anyway, I wasn't but 14 and he made us do things. That's what I'm trying to tell you. "

    I burped, " Buuuurrrrpp, excuse me ! Like what sort of things ? "

    Darline continued, " I've always been bisexual and ...."

    I spewed my beer, " Do what ? I mean, run that by me again. "

    Darline repeated herself, " Most of the girls there were. We didn't try to hide it and we noticed that it really turned him on. Anyway, he claimed that he understood and offered us a way out. Now, I was only in there for being a runaway and shoplifting. Some of the other girls were addicted to drugs and had felony charges. Anyway, we all three stayed with him, for over a year. They finally ran off, but I stayed until he was arrested. "

    I thought back, " Oh, I get it now ! You told me before, about your old man doing life. So, that was how long ago ? "

    Darline reminded me, " He got arrested in 95, that was two years ago. He never made bail and got sentenced just a few weeks ago. "

    I had to ask, " What happened to the other girls and why did you stay with him ? "

    Darline paused, " He never hurt me and he really wasn't a bad guy. I kind of felt sorry for him and he did treat me good. Oh, the other girls were the ones that ratted on him. One of them got busted and spilled her guts, so the cops found out and the rest is history. "

    I had to ask, " Do you love him ? "

    Darline thought about it, " No ! I care about him and hope that he gets out someday. But, he's not and ..."

    I rolled my eyes, " Let me get this straight ! He's a probation officer and seduces you and two of your friends. Ya'll weren't but 14 years old and you care about the SOB ? "

    Darline nodded, " Sick, isn't it ? "

    I paused, " No ! I can see what your saying. He treated you nice and you were young. But, making you be with other girls is ..."

    Darline corrected me, " I told you ! I'm bi and enjoy being with other girls. They make me feel wonderful and it doesn't hurt. I like making them feel good and theres nothing wrong with that; is there ? "

    I admitted there wasn't, " I guess not. I mean, to each their own and what's good for the Goose, is good for the Gander. No, that's not right ! Let's see, whats good for the geese, makes the other geese feel good. Well, you what I mean ! "

    Darline took my hand, " If you promise to be gentle; I'm all yours. "

    So, I took my last swig and crushed out my butt. No ! The cigarette butt and prepared myself. Anyway, the real triple XXX story will continue tomorrow. On the same Snazzy channel, at the same Snazzy time. What a deal, as Life Goes On.

    Nightie night Snazzers, your Snazzy1.
  6. pjw044

    pjw044 Heavy Load Member

    OK, now to the GOOD stuff....

  7. Snazzy

    Snazzy Light Load Member

    Aug 3, 2007
    Granbury, Texas
    Darline handed me the packet, " You'll need to use one of these. I got those for free at the Planned Parenthood center. "

    I palmed the package, " I'll only be a minute ! "

    So, I rushed into the bathroom and flipped on the light. Yep, the dreaded rubbers, lamb skin raincoat, baby catchers, disease preventer, or whatever you call em. I nibbled open the cellophane wrapper, like a rat nibbling on a cardboard box. It finally broke loose, so I thumbed it open and teeth tore the second obstacle. You know, the little square thang that conceals it. Finally the coiled up roll fell into my hand. Now, it'd been awhile since I had used one. Let's see, 1969, or was it 19970 ? Well, it was before the pill, or before they became popular. How the hell would I know ? That's a female issue and us guys don't keep up, with stuff like that. Well, are we just going to stand here, or put this thing on. Alright, alright ! Let's see, I place this on top here and roll this end down. There it goes, that's it, oops, wait a minute. Is that right ? What's that ? It looks like a dunce cap. No ! That's suppose to be like that. Remember ? That's where it catches the seaman. Gees, it's like taking a shower, with your socks on. Yeah, I remember, but that's better than having baby Barneys running around. Yep, you got that right ! So, are we ready ? Wait, let's make sure it's on there right. That's it shake them hips and see if it holds. Man, if it held on, after that, well it's not going anywhere. Gees, I hope she didn't hear that. It sounded like we were thumping our chest. Now, go ahead back in there, but remember we have to be gentle !

    I flipped off the light and sashayed over. The room was dark and only the tv reflection glowed a dim shadow. Darline had shut the drapes and had laid herself in the center of the bed. I kneed my way over, as she took me in her arms and we held each other closely. My lips kissed her ear and she held me tighter.

    Darline whispered, " Please be gentle. "

    I promised, " I'd never hurt you. "

    So, our mouths joined together, as our tongues danced and dueled. She tasted like honey, as her breast swelled firm. I ever, so slowly, gently, slid my hand lower and lower. She moaned, as I massaged between her moist legs. She gently pushed my shoulders down and without words begged for me to go down on her. I paused at her hardened nipples and gave each a tender sucking. My tongue left a trail of passion, as I lowered my head between her thighs. She moaned, as I kissed her, where most men could only dream of. She widened her legs and wrapped her fingers behind my neck. I French kissed and swiveled my head to maximize her pleasure. It was like playing a musical instrument that only the Gods could of created. The room's silence filled with her gasp of ecstasy and shrills of delight. Darline placed her arms beneath my shoulders and guided me gently on top of her. She licked my lips and tasted what I had extracted. We both licked each others faces, as I entered her and felt her deep warmth.

    Darline cried out, " OH, OH, Oh, My GOD DON'T STOP ! "

    I was humping away, " OH, OH, Oh, YEAH ! YEAH ! "

    Our bodies became one, as the room fell silent. Not a word was spoken and none needed to be. I rolled on my back and could still feel the earth moving. Darline took my hand and nestled her cheek on my shoulder. I kissed her forehead and drifted away.

    So, a couple of hours passed and the need to go struck me. Yep, I had to pee like a racehorse. I took Darline's wrist and moved her arm to the side. Using great stealth, I felt through the darkness and made my way back. The tv had grown dark and the blackness covered all. I was still weak kneed, light headed, and a bit, in a daze. You know, the bottoms of my feet, still felt all sucked in. Well, you what I mean. I felt for the toilet lid and lifted it up. I didn't want to turn the light on and chance disturbing the best sex ever. No ! She wasn't as good, as Sexy Thing, but #### close ! Anyway, the male Snazzers can relate to this. You see, theres two types of erection. The hard on kind that yarns for sex and the pee-pee kind that is full of pee. Well, this was one of the pee-pee kind. Yap, it was as hard as a rock and stiff as a board. Yep, there wasn't any flex to it and the only way to solve the problem was, well to pee. Now, in order to do that, one has to tilt one's self and .. Well, you know what I mean. So, my mind voices were singing, ' I'm a little teapot short and stout, here's my handle and here's my spout'. Well, I finally managed to get a stream going and none too soon. Yep, my kidneys were about to burst and I began to sigh with relief. All of the sudden the room lit up and Darline appeared. Yep, she had a look of terror on her face that I can still see till this day.

    I turned and asked, " What's wrong ? "

    Darline pointed, " Are you ok ? "

    So, I looked down and couldn't believe my eyes. Yep, that rubber looked like beach ball, about to explode. Yep, I'd forgotten all about it. You know, it's like wearing a ball cap, or gloves. You just forget that you have them on. Anyway, we both got a good laugh out of that. Well, it was kind of funny, but what bothered me was Darline. Yep, she had thought, that I had abandoned her. What a deal, as Life Goes On.

    Nightie night Snazzers, your Snazzy1.
  8. pjw044

    pjw044 Heavy Load Member

    LOOK OUT ITS GONNA BLOW .............................:toothy2:
    Big Duker Thanks this.
  9. Snazzy

    Snazzy Light Load Member

    Aug 3, 2007
    Granbury, Texas
    Yep Pjw044, that was a close one, as Life Goes On.

    It was after dark when I parked in front of the River Queen. We unpacked and I gave Darline a quick tour. She placed in a CD that really sounded good.

    I had to ask. " Who is that ? "

    Darline gave me the look, " It's me ! I recorded that and sent copies to some of the record companies. Do you like it ? "

    I was honest, " Man ! If you can sing, like that...."

    Ring, ring, " Let me get that ! Hello ? Yeah, Ed ! Uh huh, yeah, I'm suppose to start tomorrow. Yeah, as General Manager ! No ! Alright, I'll call you. Yep, uh huh, really ? Okay, talk to you later, goodbye ! "

    I rolled my eyes, " That was Ed ! Gees, him and Ma Crook want me to meet with them tomorrow. Well, after I get off work. I bet, they can't wait for me to snitch. You know, about what Big Man is up to. "

    Darline hugged me, " Don't let them get to you. From what you've told me, none of them are worth worrying about. "

    So, I tried to take Darline's advice and knew what she was saying. Yep, the best thing for me to do, was to just play the game and hope for the best. You know, I really was looking forward to being GM, but .. Well, you know what I mean. Anyway, early the next morning, I kissed Darline and drove over there. Gees, there was a guard shack at the entrance and a new security fence being erected. Yep, they had to call the office and escort me in. Pompous ### didn't impress me. Yep, he was your typical type A personality. You know, arrogant, overbearing, self centered, full of himself, pigheaded, demanding, nothing is good enough, knew best, God's gift to trucking, know it all, been there, done that, and so forth. Now, he sure did look intelligent. Yep, he was tall, slim, in his early 60's, dressed well, and had a head full of silver hair, that he wore combed back. He was seated behind my desk. Well, what was suppose to be my desk. Yep, he never looked up and continued reading. I sat before him and tried to look intelligent. You know, make a good impression. Well, finally he scooted his glasses over his head.

    I smiled, " How are you doing ? I'm Barney Goose and ..."

    Pompous ### sneered, " I know all about you ! Now, let's get something straight ! Your here to be considered, for the General Manager's position. It's up to me to decide, if your qualified or not. So far, from what I've seen. Well; what makes you think that you have anything to contribute ? What degrees do you hold ? What managerial skills do you have ? Tell me, of any experience you've had. Well ? "

    I was caught off guard, " Well, uh, uh, you see, it's like, well, uh, you know, back when I started here...."

    Pompous ###, was an ###, " Stop right there ! You've worked here less than 3 years ! Before that, you were in truck driving school, had worked as a telemarketer ...."

    I corrected him, " No, that's not right ! You see, I really worked for the VA Hospital and Water Balloons. She works here as a recruiter and ..."

    Pompous ### grew angry, " What are saying ? Are you telling me that your employment history is incorrect ? "

    I saw where he was headed, " No ! If it says that, well it must be right. I was just a little confused and ...."

    Pompous pushed his luck, " You know Mister Goose ! So far, all I've seen is a guy looking to move up. Now, there must be a thousand qualified other applicants, that would be more than willing to ..."

    I was pissed, " I tell you what ! Why don't you take your job and shove it up your ### ! I don't need this ! I've worked my way up, from the bottom here and earned every position that I've had ! I started out making less than a nickel per mile. I had to fight, just to just get paid that ! I've been a trainee, a trainer, a babysitter, a peace maker, a problem solver, a fall guy, a fool, and a monkey's uncle ! Now, your right about one thing ! The only formal education that I've got, is an associate degree in criminal justice. That and two bits, will get you a cup coffee ! I never finished my four year degree and I #### sure don't have a Master's degree. But, I'll tell you one more thing ! I've got balls, determination, and the ability to get things done. I've always met things head on and welcome a challenge ! So, go ahead and hire a pencil pushing, paper licking, head nodding, ..."

    Pompous ### grinned, " Wait ! I'm willing to give you a chance, but you'll have to do things my way ! "

    So, I guess my interview went okay. I mean, I still had a job and got the GM ID card, but I didn't feel like celebrating. You know, the whole thing just seemed wrong. I sure didn't care for Pompous ### and knew that we couldn't work together. But hey, maybe he won't be around long and who knows, what tomorrow holds, as Life Goes On.

    Nightie night Snazzers, your Snazzy1.
  10. pjw044

    pjw044 Heavy Load Member

    Dont just love dealing with a POMPOUS ##*

    :smt067 :glasses5:
  11. Snazzy

    Snazzy Light Load Member

    Aug 3, 2007
    Granbury, Texas
    Yep PJW044, if only there wasn't a law against it, as Life Goes On.

    Darline was wearing a pair of tight fitting cutoffs, a strapless teeshirt, and had her hair in a ponytail. I sat down at the table while she served up the fried chicken, taters & gravy, sweetcorn, home made biscuits, and apple pie.

    I poured the iced tea, " You didn't have to do all of this. I could of .."

    Darline cut me short, " I wanted to and your landlord; Mr Hook ? He loaned me his car, so I went shopping, stopped at the bank, did our laundry, and decided to cook. How is it ? "

    I dug in, " It's good ! Where did you learn to cook like this ? "

    Darline blushed, " I just picked it up, I guess. So, how was your day ? "

    Knock, knock, " Wonder who that is ? COME IN ! "

    Dan entered, " I'm sorry, I didn't know that you were eating. "

    I stood, " That's alright ! Dan, this Darline; Darline this is Dan. He's the TLX shop foreman and real pain in my ### ! "

    Darline slapped my shoulder, " You better behave ! Dan, don't pay him any attention. Have a seat and join us. "

    Dan sat, " Man ! This looks good and I'm starved ! Say Barn, the reason I came over was to find out; what's going on ? I haven't seen you and didn't know what the deal was ? "

    So, I filled Dan in on my travels and what not. No ! I didn't mention who Darline was. Well, you know what I mean ! Anyway after stuffing ourselves full we decided to hit the Pirates Den. You know, Mr Hook's bar and grill. Darline went as she was and all eyes widened, as she wiggled in. Mr Hook set us up and flirted with you know who. No ! Not me ! Darline ! Anyway, she decided to throw some darts and that gave Dan a chance to speak freely, " So, I hear that your our new GM ! "

    I lit up, " Yeah, finally. You know, Junior had promised me that quite awhile back. Oh, have you heard from him lately ? ''

    Dan lit his cigar, " No; last I heard, him and his mother were still at it. That Pompous guy is a real pain in the ###. He's worst than Ed, Ma Crook, and Junior all put together ! So, what are your plans ? "

    I blew smoke, " I don't have any ! Dan, all of the uppity ups care about is making money and screwing everybody ! Now, if it were up to me. The first thing that would happen, is a pay raise for the drivers. I'd rewrite those leases too and see that those operators get a fair shake. I'd let you hire on three more mechanics and give you all a raise. I'd..."

    Ed appeared, " Why didn't you called me ? "

    I lied, " I was just getting ready to ! Where's uh, ..."

    Ed read my mind, " She's working late at the office. She's who sent me over here to check on you. So, what did you find out ? "

    I took a swig, " Well, I'm the GM, but there's a Mister Pompous ###, who is over me. He's suppose to train me and Big Man is coming down sometime next week. Ed, that's all, that I know. "

    Ed gave Dan the Look, " Dan, give us a minute ! "

    Dan got the hint, " I'll go and keep Darline company. "

    Ed had to ask, " Who's Darline ? "

    I lied, " Oh, just some chick that works here. "

    Ed took a seat, " Now, Barney ! Here's what we need you to do ! Ma and I decided to fight fire, with fire. Your just in the right position to do what's needed. Now tomorrow, I want you to insert this CD into your computer. Now, once it's loaded, just key run program file, eve. TLX ppfu. "

    I eyed the CD, " What's that going to do ? "

    Ed had an evil grin, " You just do it ! We'll worry about the rest. Now, I'll know the minute it's done, so make sure you do it ! "

    I paused, " Ed, I'm sure about this ! I mean, if ..."

    Ed didn't want to hear it, " There's a lot at stake here and you need to decide, on whose side your on ! Barney, we're all counting on you and we'll be forever grateful. So, what do you say ? "

    Well, what could I say ? I mean, other than yes, or no. So, I finally gave in, but not really. You know, I had all night to think about it and I wasn't sure what to do. Yep, it seemed that no matter what I did, or who I did it to. Well, you know what I mean ! I mean, this was nuts ! There I was in a position to prove myself and show how well I could.. Wait a minute ! What the hell was I doing ? I never wanted to be tied to a desk and be part of the system. Nope ! All I ever wanted, was to run the open road and earn the big bucks. Gees, no wonder drivers end up. Well, you know what I mean, as Life Goes On.

    Nightie night Snazzers, your Snazzy1.
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