Hi, I'm Snazzy and I'm Trucker

Big Arms had managed to save the heavy haul rig and the grader. Yep, the only loss due to the dam break was the office trailer, two company pickups, and an old dozer. Yep, it could of been a lot worst and I was happy to be alive. Anyway, I dead headed back to the pits and parked behind the office. Stan and Fran, both had been updated about the New Mexico disaster and were waiting for me. Stan was his usual friendly self and welcomed me back. Of course, Fran was itching for a fight and somehow wanted to blame me, for whatever reason. Yep, I never understood guys like Fran. I mean, he was a big tough guy, but was always trying to prove it. Of course, he never picked on anyone his own size. Yep, it always had to be somebody smaller, or one of his employees that needed a job. You know, someone he knew that would back down. Yep, I'd seen him bully a bunch of folks, but I tried to stay out of his way. Well, Stan had left to run some errands and I was helping load a piece of equipment. One of the Hands was helping me and we were getting her done. The other Hand spotted the Roach truck swing in and checked his watch, " Hey Barney, it's lunch time ! I'm starved ! "

I checked my time piece, " Yeah, she's right on time and we better get over there. Man ! That wind sure has a nip to it ! "

So, me and the other Hand sashayed over. Well, I sashayed and he kind of lumbered. He was a tall skinny kid and hadn't worked for Hells Hole outfit for too long. Of course, I hadn't either, but kind of knew the score and tried to keep a low profile. Now trust me, that hadn't been easy. Yep, I'd really had a belly full of Fran and his way of treating folks. Yep, if it hadn't been for Stan and Animal. Well, I'd probably would of quit my first day. Anyway, we were standing there waiting, for the nice lady to open the box. You know, it was a catering truck and had that aluminum bed. She lifted the sides and propped up the back end. There were at least 20 of the fellas and a few of the ladies huddled around. Yep, since this was a Federal site the contract required Hell Hole to hire a few minorities. Yep, you guessed it ! Fran hated everyone and especially non-whites. Yep, he'd hire a 100 lb female who had never worked a site and didn't know a thing. Well, before he'd hire a an experienced hand that had a different skin tone. Now, the ladies wanted to work and a couple of them tried. But, all they were allowed to do, was to ride on some of the equipment and stay out of the way. Yep, the whole thing smelled to high heaven and hopefully things have changed.

Anyway, Fran cut his way into the front of the line and snatched up a handful of grub. He had that smirk on his face and sneered. You know, just daring someone to say something. Now, the New Hand thought that Fran was being funny. Yep, anyone that didn't know the psycho. Well, you know what I mean. Anyway, the New Hand really didn't say anything all that bad. It was something like, " Gee ! I guess rank has it's privileges ! "

Fran cut his eyes, " YOU GOT A PROBLEM ? "

The New Hand chuckled, " No sir, I was just ...."

Fran slammed his grub down, " Do you want a piece of me ? I'll stomp a mud hole in your ...."

The New Hand stuttered, " I'm, I'm, sorry. I was just being funny ! "

Fran shoved the Hand down, " GET ! Scat out of here and don't come back, or I'll whip the tar out of you ! "

So, the poor skinny kid looked around, with his sad puppy dog eye's that begged for someone's help. Yep, you guessed it ! Not a soul there offered, as much as a helping hand. Well, I finally helped the kid up and handed him his hardhat. He was pale and more humiliated than anything else.

I whispered, " Go home and call Stan later. He'll rehire you and ...."

The Kid fought back tears, " No, I quit ! This is nuts ! "

So, the Kid dusted himself off and lumbered away. I felt bad for him, but had to let it slide. I mean, I needed the job and I hadn't been the one that had sassed off. Yep, that New Meat needed to learn the rules and... Wait a minute ! What has happened to me ? Back when I was a cop, if some psycho assaulted a Kid... My mind voices got interrupted, because the last person on earth. Well, the only one there with any guts spoke up. Yep, the Nice Lady that owned the catering truck. She was short, middle aged, and really pissed off.

She snatched back the hot dogs, " You'll pay for these ! Just like everyone else does ! "

Fran yanked them back, " I own this outfit and ...."

Nice Lady held her grip, " I don't care what you own ! Your free days are over with and that's, that ! You shouldn't of fired that Kid ! "

So, I knew that the fertilizer was about to hit the fan. Yep, I'd always believed that losing a fight. Well, was better than losing my self respect. Yep, Fran could of whipped me, with one hand tied behind his back. He knew it, I knew it, and all the other cowards there knew it. So, I scanned around looking for a weapon. Of course, all there was to select from, was some twinkies, cupcakes, and barbecued chips. What a deal ! So, I armed myself with a large plastic cup and filled it up. Yep, straight from the hot water heater. You know, the one on back of the truck that spit steam out. Yep, that was one hot cup of boiling water. Now, one of my favorite movies was the Duke, in The Cowboys. Remember ? He was the ramrod and all of his cow pokes were little kids. Well, I stole his line. Yep, Fran shoved the Nice Lady aside, as I stepped in.

The cup was behind my back, " HEY PILGRIM ! Your pretty tough around kids and ladies. "

Fran faced me, " Goose ! I was wondering when ...."

So, I didn't really care to hear, what he had to say. I'm sure it was well thought out and .... SPLASH ! Yep, a direct hit, right square in his eyes. Now, if I had any manners, or an ounce of kindness. Well, I would of just turned and sashayed off. Oh, no ! I mean, for me to be that pissed off. You know, to toss molten lava. Well, steaming boiling water. Yep, I laid into him, like a windmill on fire. He hunched over and I continued to knock the snot out of him. I mean, I was waiting for someone to hold me back. Nope, not one chicken livered, lily, light footed, loser, ever lifted a finger. Yep, I was done tuckered out, but still kicking away, when Nice Lady had seen enough, " He's had enough ! Let's get you out of here ! "

So, Nice Lady gave me a ride to my escape vehicle. Yep, the old low rider cranked right up and away I went. Yep, down the road and onto other adventures, as Life Goes On.

Nightie night Snazzers, your Snazzy1.

 

There you go Snazzy, Fight smarter not harder..........LOL

 

Way to go Barney!!!

 

Nope rikdev50 it ain't fallen off yet, mc8541 is right about fighting smarter, not harder and your welcome Big Duker, as Life Goes On.

I parked in front of the River Queen and unpacked my gear. Capt Hook saw me and brought over Lobo. We cut it up for awhile and updated each other on current events. No ! Not me and Lobo ! Capt Hook and I ! Anyway, after Capt Hook left, I sat at my bar and thumbed through my mail. Most of it was junk, but one letter caught my eye. Yep, it was from my attorney and the news wasn't bad. TLX had offered me a settlement. Remember ? I had filed a suit against them, for lost wages, wrongful termination, slander, libel, battery, jumper cables, discrimination against the handicap, abuse of the elderly, and so forth. Well, it seemed that TLX had restructured through the courts and was back in business. Now, that didn't really surprise me any. I mean, the rich and powerful don't play, by the same laws, as we do. Oh No ! Man, if we break the law it's goodbye Johnny,,err,, Barney. Yep, all they do is pay a few fines and forget about it. Anyway, the offer wasn't a cash settlement. Nope, the deal was one of them lawyer type settlements. In exchange for me dropping my civil suit and agreeing to certain things. Firstly, I'd agree to never reveal the facts of the agreed settlement. Secondly, they did not have to admit to any wrong doing. And lastly, they would reinstate me. Yep, my old G.M. position, at the same rate of pay, and with all benefits. What a deal !

Ring, ring, " Hello ! "

A pause, " Barney ? "

A longer pause, " Ed ? "

Ed, was Ed, " Look ! Our attorneys have made you an offer and..."

I, was me, " Yeah, I'm reading over it right now ! Uh, I've got a few questions and uh..."

Ed had all the answers, " Look ! It's the best deal your going to get. Now, there will be a few conditions, but we can work those out. "

I caught that, " What conditions ? You mean, for me not to disclose things and uh..."

Ed was coy, " Well, we'll just fine tune things. You know, after everything gets signed and .."

I lit up, " I'm not signing nothen ! Noway, nohow, and forget it ! Your not going to get me to...."

Ed went for the sale, " Look Barney ! Let's do this ! You come in next Monday and we'll sit down. If you don't like what you hear, then..."

I blew smoke, " If it's not written down and ya'll try to pull something. Well, I'm wise to ya'll and ...."

Ed was all sweet, " Oh, come on Barney ! You know me and we don't have an ax to grind. Now, that Ma Crook is back in control and the California crowd is out of the picture. We can get back on track ! "

I had to ask, " What did finally happen ? The last I heard..."

Ed jumped in, " Ma Crook bought out the other investors and the DOT agreed to drop their charges. We'll be on administrative probation for a couple of months and the Securities Exchange Commission will have to approve any ...."

I got it, " I get it ! Ya'll paid everyone off and it's business as usual ! Now Ed, I'm going to be honest with you ! I don't want to be looking over my shoulder and worried about...."

Ed assured me, " Barney ! You have my word ! It'll be different this time and you'll see. Just give it a chance ! "

So, I agreed. Well, to go and hear their offer. Yep, I wasn't going to sign anything, until all the eyes were dotted and the tees were crossed. You know, I wasn't trying to be a hard case, but .. Well, you know what I mean, as Life Goes On.

Nightie night Snazzers, your Snazzy1.

 

Ole Snazzy wants to believe but deep down he knows they are still a bunch of crooks!!!!!

 

Hey Barney, have I ever got a deal for you!

You get your old GM position back... but wait... that's not all! If you act now, you'll also get a free set of Ginsu knives, 5 acres of ocean front property in Arizona AND... are you ready for this? Not one... but TWO Brooklyn bridges right there in your own back yard!

That's right! Over $6 billion dollars worth of complementary gifts, yours absolutely FREE if you sign now! Now how much would you pay?

 

Barcode I started reading that and automatically started reading fast like on the commercials......That's too funny!!! LMAO.....

 

Yep Mc8541ss, ole lilillill hit it on the head and lets see if Barney gets any knowledge knots on his noggin, as Life Goes On.

I had a fit filled sleep, because my mind voices held a bored,, err,, board meeting that night. Yep, right there behind my eyeballs and every mind voice had an opinion. You know, they all wanted to sound like know it alls and out best the other one. Yep, what if this and what if that ? If they do this, I'll do that, and blah, blah, blah. Well, it didn't matter what their opinions were, because I was going to... Do What ? Who died and left you in charge ? We all have an equal say in things and.. Wait a minute ? He's right ! Remember ? We all agreed to hear everyone out and then let him make up our mind ! Well, who the hell is he ? He's just another mind voice, like the rest of us ! Would ya'll shut up ! No ! You shut up !

Where was I ? Oh, Monday finally rolled around and I was seated at the large conference table. It was like day-job-view. You know, my mind voices had imagined everything beforehand. You know how it is, when you think ahead of things and.. Well, you know what I mean ! Anyway so far, so good. Yep, I was dressed well and ready to negotiate. The problem was that I was the only one there. Yep, all alone and by myself. The security guard had escorted me from the gate to the terminal. The receptionist had let me into the conference room and there I was. Hmm, I wonder where everyone is ? Let's see, what's this ? Oh, it must be what TLX is offering me. Yeah, lets read over it ! Party of the first part, herein referred to as Goose, hereby agrees to settle any and all claims, do dah, do dah, here in and therefore, to wit, and blah, blah, TLX admits to no wrong doing, real, or imagined, blah, blah, blah, in the sum of thirty thousand dollars, to be withheld, at ... DO WHAT ? Opps, that was out loud ! Shut up ! Well, I'm not going to... Shut up ! Here comes Ed !

Ed offered his paw, " Hey Barn ! Your looking good ! "

I shook it, " Ed ! I just read over this and..."

Ed snatched it from me, " You shouldn't of been reading that ! It's just a rough draft and ..."

I got to the point, " I'm not going to agree to anything, except what .."

Ed took his seat, " Well, everything has changed anyway ! I just off the phone with Ma Crook. Now Barney, hear me out ! Ma and Junior, have decided not to bring you back, as General Manager ! Now, that doesn't mean that ..."

I headed for the door, " Forget it ! I'll have my attorney..."

Ed cut me off, " Sit down and listen to me ! Your attorney is the one who suggested this ! We'll reinstate state you, at your last salary, and your 401 retirement fund will reflect that. You know, it'll be credited, as if you never had any break in service. That goes for your seniority, vacation time, and everything else. "

I had to ask, " Well, what was that $30,000 all about ? "

Ed pointed, " Sit down and let me explain ! We have agreed to pay your attorney fees. He's willing to do that and we're wanting this matter behind us. Now, here's the best part ! "

I rolled my eyes, " This is nuts ! I never gave my attorney the power to do that. I mean, to hash over his fees with ya'll and .."

Ed dropped his bomb, " Well, he did and that's good for you ! You know, those lawyers don't work for free. He could of demanded a third of your settlement. This way, he has his fees up front and your off the hook. You know, he's going to fit right in here. How did you know about him ? "

I lit up a 100, " Do What ? My lawyer is going to work for TLX ? He can't do that and if he does...."

Ed smiled, " He can and he did ! Yep, as long as you settle with us and nothing else is pending. "

I blew smoke, " Well, what happens if ..."

Ed had all the answers, " What are you going to do Barney ? This is your only option and it's a good deal ! Now, I don't expect an answer today and you need to decide. "

I reminded him, " Ed ! You haven't offered me anything yet ! "

Ed had forgotten, " Oh, that's right ! Our offer is this ! You can select any tractor in our fleet and it's yours ! Well, with a few conditions. First, you have to stay leased on with TLX. You can't sale the truck, lease the truck to someone else, or anything like that. Secondly, you have to stay leased on for a minimum amount of time. That's going to depend on the value of what tractor you pick out. It'll be prorated, at a percentage rate based on the fair market value. We'll agree to that, before you sign your lease. Now, the last condition is this ! You'll never let any of this get out. Not, about any of it. Does that sound fair ? "

I recapped, " I get a free tractor and just have to lease on here, for a specified amount of time. What's the catch and why are ya'll..."

Ed admitted it, " It's a good deal for both of us. Barney, you know that every truck on a lease purchase makes TLX money. We won't be out anything and you'll benefit. It's a win, win, for all of us ! "

So, I agreed. Well, to think about it. Yep, Ed had a point alright. I mean, TLX lease purchase was a scam, but it all centered on the driver having to make those big monthly payments. Well, I wouldn't have any payments, so what did I have to lose ? I mean, TLX would be the bigger loser, if they didn't keep me rolling. Yeah, that'd cost them big bucks and ut oh ! Wait a minute ! They'll just starve me out, or find a reason to terminate the lease. You know, they'll pull something ! Well, let's do this ! We can cover all bases and have it in writing. Yeah ! That might work and besides that. I mean, what do we have to lose ? What a deal, as Life Goes On.

Nightie night Snazzers, your Snazzy1.

 

Sounds like your lawyer crawled in bed with the crooks and your gonna get the shaft.......hmmm

 

Yep Mc8541ss, it sure looks that way, as Life Goes On. What a deal !

I made it back to the River Queen and waited for Dan. Yep, he'd agreed to stop by and cut it up. You know, about all the hard decisions that I needed to make. The red ball was just sinking in the Western sky, when Dan showed up. He sat at my bar and I popped a couple of tops.

Dan took a swig, " Man, that hits the spot ! Where's your dog at ? "

I pointed, with the can, " He's over there with Capt Hook. Did Ed...."

Dan was honest, " All I heard was that ya'll reached some sort of agreement and that you might be leasing on. "

I paused, " Dan ! I trust you and this has to stay between us. If any of this ever gets out.."

Dan swore, " I swear ! Wild horses couldn't drag..."

I looked for flies on the wall, " It's like this Dan ! I can't go into all of the details, but let me ask you this. If you were able to pick out one of TLX's tractors. You know, one that is on their lot. Well, which one of them would you pick ? "

Dan lit his cigar, " You mean, a new model, or a used one, or what ? "

I lit up, " Let's say, a used one. Now I mean, one that is in good shape and isn't all worn out. "

Dan blew smoke, " That's easy ! I'd want that old blue, T-600, that we just put a new engine in. It runs like new and has that Detroit warranty. "

He had my interest, " Tell me more ! I mean, what's the deal on it ? "

Dan thought back, " You know the truck ! It's the one that Alvin had. He's one of the Crook's uncles, or married to one of Ma Crooks sisters, or.."

I rushed things along, " Yeah, yeah, yeah, I remember him ! "

Dan continued, " Well, he drove that truck, since it was new and when he retired. I guess, that was about a year ago. Anyway, it sat in the yard and none of the drivers ever drove it. I'd crank it up every once in awhile and used it to do errands in. You know, pick up parts and ..."

I popped two more tops, " Here ! Now, why did you have to put a new motor in it ? "

Dan tossed his empty, " Thanks ! Oh, the motor ! Uh, it was weird. I drove it to Freight Shaker there in Dallas one day. It was running fine and I left it running. That was last summer. You remember, that hot spell we had ? "

I chug a lugged, " Yeah, yeah, yeah, it was a real scorcher ! Go on ! "

Dan flipped his ashes , " Well, I wasn't in there long. I picked up a few parts and .. You remember, that chick ? The one that worked behind the parts counter ? Man, she was a knockout ! I'd of spent a months salary to have her in bed, for five minutes ! "

I remembered her, " Yeah ! She was the one that wore those shorty shorts and you could count her pubic hairs ! Man ! Does she still work there ? "

Dan burped, " BUURRRPPPP ! Excuse me ! No, I think she quit and went to work for Fed-Up's, or ... No ! No ! It was Wrong Way Express ! Man, I'd give anything to be her trainer ! "

I rubbed my crotch, " Yeah, I can picture her on top and riding the Barney pole. You know, I was over there one day and she bent over to pick up something. Oh, it was a starter. You know, one of them big heavy ones that was new in the box. Anyway, there were about five of us sitting at that counter. Well, she bent over and I swear ! You could see her crack ! She just kept bent over and two of them drivers fell plume off their stools. Yep, one of em, even went head over heels. He landed on his head and for a minute, I thought he'd done bought the farm. She never even looked up and kind of wiggled that tail of hers. That's when I knew, she was doing that on purpose ! "

Dan wiped beads of sweat, from his forehead, " I knew it ! She pulled the same thing on me. Well, sort of. She leaned over the counter and had them top buttons undone. We could see her nipples ! She wasn't wearing no bra and that thang, was a long, as my little finger ! I swear ! It was pink and sticking straight up ! I could of wrapped my lips around it ! She just stood there smiling and never even blinked. Oh, man ! Barney, I need go and check on my wife. She uh, wanted me , uh,.. See you later ! "

So, Dan stiffed legged it out the door, as I hobbled back to the showers. Yep, five finger Sally got a grip on me and wouldn't let go. My mind voices shouted out with delight, as the world stood still. Yep, my hand and my manhood became one. What a deal, as Life Goes On. Wait a minute ! What about the truck story ? What truck ? Oh, never mind !

Nightie night Snazzers, your Snazzy1.