Hi, I'm Snazzy and I'm Trucker

Seems like those Meat Heads could end up "well done"
One of my uncles was a real racist, homophobic S.O.B.
Guess what? Yeap.
Oldest boy is "happy" as a three dollar bill, and oldest daughter married a real nice black fellow. Black as coal.
Funny how life has a way of straightening things out.

 

Well done Meatheads? How do you like your racist? I sure hope Nick has your back agent Goose!!! Idee Hoeee Hope the snow holds off, Wouldn't want the Feds to miss 'cuz the teckie stuff can't see thru the weather... or Barn can keep that old pete between the ditches. Don't want to burn the landscape up for no reason...

 

Big Duker is thinking explosion, Lilbit is ready for a party and Dukesdad knows how sometimes, Life straightens things out. What a deal, as Life Goes On.

The Pete looked better with those new steer tires on and she was parked over the oil drain pit. Nick was still briefing me and filling me in.

I blew smoke, " Alright ! Now, tell me this ! How am I going to drive all the way to Idaho in that stolen rig ? The Bears will ... "

Nick grinned, " What stolen rig ? That Pete and TLX trailer aren't stolen ! "

I begged to differ, " Hold it ! You said, that... "

Nick educated me, " Look ! That Peter Built was a stolen recovery. You see, the insurance company paid the owner and then they auction it off to recover some of their losses. There are auction lots all over the country that do that. All I had to do, was get on line and browse the lots. Then I made a couple of phone calls and poof ! We had a tractor ready to roll and were in business ! "

I still didn't get it, " What about the cab card, DOT number, plates, registration, insurance, and all of that ? "

Nick snapped his fingers, " That's even easier ! I click a few keys, make a few calls and that's, that ! Remember, we've got the CIA, the National Insurance Institute, the FBI, DOT, State and local ... "

I jumped in, " Wait a minute ! You said, that TLX trailer was stolen and that Ed was aware of it. He must of reported it and ... "

Nick agreed, " He did ! Then I contacted him and informed him that we were investigating it. You know, that my company, the Top Secret Detective Agency was working for his insurance company. He just thinks, that we are investigating a theft ring. I then contacted the proper authorities that the trailer had been recovered. They removed it from NCIC and ... "

I got it, " The cops think, that the trailer was recovered, Ed thinks, that it's been reported stolen and we're using it to ... "

Nick snickered, " You see, now your getting the hang of things ! We can get anything we need ! Guns, satellites, vehicles, stocks, bonds, .. "

It hit me, " Your telling me, that anything we need, we can get ? I mean,.."

Nick shrugged, " Well, anything that's insured ! Have you ever read over an insurance policy ? Once you insure something, it no longer belongs to you. Not, if you report it stolen, lost, damaged, missing, or put in a claim. Read the fine print and you'll see, what I'm saying ! Think about it ! Everything worth anything, is insured now a days. Those military satellites are built, launched, and maintained, by multi million, bultibillion, triple trillion, corporations ! Yep, and everyone of them are insured ! Insurance companies rule the world and everything in it. Your life, health, home, auto, furniture, furnishings, business, credit cards, and everything else ! "

So, I finally understood. Well, sort of kind of. You know, Nick was right ! Yep, insurance companies were as powerful, as our government. I guess, money can buy anything and governments will sell out to the highest bidder. Yep, just think about it. You can't own a business, get a loan, buy a house, drive a car, or do anything, without insurance. It's scary and mind boggling, but that's the way it is. Anyway, where were we ? Oh, the reason Nick was able to have such good intelligence was simple. When Rat Fink needed a stolen tractor, well Nick furnished it. Yep, that Peter Built was loaded down with all kinds of surveillance equipment. You know, hidden cameras, microphones, and stuff like that. Matter of fact, so was that TLX trailer. Yep, a cops dream and a thieves nightmare. Anyway, I drove the bobtail back to the warehouse and backed onto the trailer. Tom was waiting for me and ready to roll. I pulled up to shut the trailer doors and he approached me.

I pointed, " What is all of that and where's Rat at ? "

Tom lied, " Rat's going to meet us at the compound. Now, those bags are filled with ammonium nitrate and you'll need to be careful ! You know, what that is, don't you ? "

I guessed, " Some sort of explosives, or something like that ? Rat didn't tell me a whole lot and ... "

Tom spat, " Rat's not in the picture anymore ! I'm the one calling the shots, from now on ! Now, I've got a question for you. How do figure to drive this rig to Idaho ? Rat Fink told me, that ya'll wasted the driver and got that trailer from a drop yard. If it's hot... "

I jumped in, " No ! It's cool and everything is fine ! That driver ain't going to report nothing stolen and the trailer won't be missed, for a couple of months. That TLX outfit has thousands of them and .. "

Tom grinned, " Rat said, that you've been around ! Now Randy, here's how we'll do this. I'll follow behind you and watch your back ! We need avoid any run ins and if there's a problem. Well, let me handle it ! Do you have any questions, or anything ? "

I lit up and Tom went ballistic, " PUT THAT OUT ! ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL US ? YOU ###### IDIOT ! "

I stepped on it, " Oh, I'm sorry ! "

So anyway, Tom Dually gave me my marching orders. Well, a map and some advice. Yep, he was going to keep a safe following distance. We could chat over the CB and I was to stay on route. I could run my own pace, stop when I wanted to and blah, blah, blah.. Yep, Tom Dually was, as dumb as dirt. He had no idea how trucking worked. I mean, he didn't know a thing. You know, about weigh stations, bills of lading, haz-mat regulations, logbooks, or any of it. Yep, I had my work cut out ! But hey ! I'd make a trucker out of him, or my name isn't Randy, what's his name, as Life Goes On.

Nightie night Snazzers, your Snazzy1.

 

man I wish is was that easy to get a cab card from Reciprocity......Well "Randy" Snazzy or whoever at least ya got a map!.....

 

Randy who ??????????? Rat trap what ??????
Nicky the Nose ??? Pnamonnia--- whos sick?????
Ahhhhhhhhhh Maaaaannnnnnnnn...............i air lost in space !!!!

Take a few days off and see what you miss !!!!!!
Ya need a program to keep up..........

 

You chose hauling explosives over hot legs? You gotta big L on your forehead there snazzzzzzzzzzz.

 

I see a Local yocal lookin' to make a name for his self.... well Depty Fife wonder where you bullet is? Stay on route and stop where you want? LOL Ole' Barney wil give them a run...

 

Snazz, shouldnt ol Dooly be runnin up front as bear bait? Thats what the Bandit did. Anyhoo St. Louis to Idaho shouldnt be a problem unless you pass through Wyoming or Utah, possibly South Dakota as well. Scales that are mostly open than closed.

 

First, let's have a Big Snazzy Welcome for Calumet1tsp, our newest Snazzer. I'm glad to see Pjwo44, Lil Blue Pony and Rikdev50s are still with us. I apologize for not posting last night, so Snazzy points all around, as Life Goes On.

The sun was going down, as I parked in the Saps parking lot. No ! Not the Meat Heads compound ! You know. the truckstop, just outside of Denver, off of I-70. Yep, so far so good and we'd made good time. I drew a line and gawked around to see if Tom had made it. Yep, the white van swung in and stopped in front of the Greasy Spoon.

I sashayed over, " Hey Tom ! We're making good time and I hope this weather holds up. "

Tom saluted the sun, " You and me both ! Let's go inside and get a bite. "

I pointed, " What about them, aren't they going to eat ? "

Tom smirked, " They eat, when I tell them they can ! "

So, we left them. You know, the other skinheads sitting in the van. They were a motley crew and sure weren't friendly. Yep, a little earlier they had passed me, while I swung into a scale house. From behind, that van looked like a carton of eggs. You know, their bald heads all lined up inside and .. Well, you know, like a carton of eggs. Anyway, Tom and I hit the buffet and sat at an end booth. The chicken was tough and greasy, the mashed potatoes were cold to the touch and they even screwed up the okra. Yep, it tasted like rat turds. Well I guess it did, because I've never eaten a.. Well, you know. Anyway, the place was filled with drivers and all of them were chatting away. The waitress filled our mugs and tossed down the meal ticket. She never even asked, how was your meal, or do you care for anything else ? Nope, she just poured, tossed and walked away.

Tom snatched it up, " I'll get it ! Hey, look over there ! Do you see that ? I bet, he's illegal and still wet behind his ears ! ####, that makes me sick ! Crap head, taco eating, greasy beaner, taking jobs away from hard working, Christian, God fearing Americans. I'd like to exterminate everyone of them and rid the world of em ! "

I lit a 100, " How far is it ? You know, the ranch ? "

Tom spat, " It's our compound and we'll be there soon enough. Just follow that map, I gave you and your doing good ! I mean that ! We had to switch drivers three times and you never slowed down. Where did you learn to drive like that ? "

I blew smoke, " It just comes natural to me. I started out ..."

Tom bellowed, " Hey Bean Head ! Get over here and clean this table ! Don't you speak any English ? El clean o, the table o ! Get your butt over here ! "

Nick pushed his cart, " Sorry Senor ! I get right to it and ... "

Tom stood and elbowed him, " You better watch out ! I'll slice you open and feed you to the buzzards ! "

Nick hung his head, " Sorry Senor ! My mistake ! Please forgive me ! "

Tom pulled a knife from his boot, " I swear ! I'll slit your throat and... "

I stepped between them, " Chill out man ! There's witnesses in here and... "

Tom paused, " Your right ! He's not worth it ! Let's get out of here ! "

So, we did. Well, me and Billy Bad Buns, err.. Tom the Idiot did. You know, he really was a psycho ! Of course, I assumed that he was high on meth and wired to the max. Now, I'll never forget that smile on Nick's face. Yep I think, that Nick was ready to end everything right there. I mean, he was a black belt and could of stuck that blade up Tom's, you know what. Anyway, Tom decided to get a room and I bunked down in the Pete. My head barely hit the pillow and I was out like a light. The dream I had, wasn't worth remembering, but what happened next, I'll never forget. Yep, it must of been 3 am, when I heard that noise. You know, like someone had entered my sleeper and was standing over me. I slipped my covers, over my head. You know, like they would protect and shield me. The hand touched my shoulder and sent chills down my spine.

Nick whispered, " Are you ... "

I screamed, " #### ! YOU SCARED THE HELL OUT OF ME ! "

Nick laughed, " How'd you like my busboy impression ? They offered me a job and said, that I did better than their regular guy ! "

I wasn't in the mood, " Look Nick ! That psycho Tom is ... "

Nick read my mind, " He's sleeping like a baby and don't worry. The rest of his crew is passed out in that van. They hit the bar earlier and we just need a sample from your trailer. Your doing real good and blah, blah, blah "

So, I went back to sleep and tried to forget things. You know, Tom, his band of Idiots, that trailer full of instant death, and that lousy meal, that I had earlier. What a deal, as Life Goes On.

Nightie night Snazzers, your Snazzy1.

 

Its a gona get good....I've got my popcorn and waiting for the next part...Tom needs to get serious help or change his diet! Too much sugar will do that to ya! Maybe he just needs more coffee.........Oh Snazzy are you ready for whats gonna happen next?????