Hi, I'm Snazzy and I'm Trucker

Let's have a Big Snazzy welcome for creekrd our newest Snazzy member and Knife Edge has volunteered to furnish the refreshments. What a deal ! As, Life Goes On.

The smell of burning lighter fluid, followed by white puffs of smoke filled the cab. No ! It wasn't my 100 menthol either ! Yep, Carmel Candy sucked on her glass pipe, as I fidgeted behind the wheel. The sleeper curtain was partially open, as an orange glow lit up a pair of glassy eyes. I turned down the C.B. and sat side saddle in the captain's chair. You know, my legs were facing the copilot's chair and my head turned slightly back. I popped another top and sat searching for words. Let's see, be nice and speak softly. Don't upset her, but don't beat around the bush.

I took a swig, " Say, Candy ? Why don't you come back up here, so we can talk. You mentioned, something about Hot Legs and.... "

Candy whispered, " You's can come back here. This is some #### good rock and I's got plenty, for the boths of us. "

So, I felt my way through the curtains and joined her. You know, she was sitting on the bottom bunk and I sat next to her. The curtain slit provided enough light to outline our profiles. Of course, each hit off the pipe made for quite a show. It was like a fog machine at a concert. Anyway, Candy finally took her last toke and handed me the stem. You know, that's what they call their crack pipes. I guess, because they have stems, like a smoker's pipe. Yep, I'd seen plenty of them and knew a little bit. Let's see, they stuff a piece of Brillo Pad. or steel wool in and that filters the smoke. You Know, so no hot embers get sucked down their throat. The pipe itself gets so hot that most folks have blisters on their fingers.

Candy had to ask, " What's you thinking on ? "

I lied, " Oh nothing, just waiting for you to say something. "

Candy scooted closer, " I'ms feeling good Honey and sure coulds use a man. Nows I knows, you's Hot Legs, but she done told me. She say you's one fines ride and I's bet, you is ! "

I knew better, " Hey, look ! This wouldn't be right ! I really do miss her and we need to find her. Now tell me, what you know and .... "

Candy took my hand, " All I knows, is what one of them drivers tolds me. He says, Hot Legs gots popped, by the Pole-Lease. He seens it ! "

I squeezed her hand, " Are you kidding me ? Your just now telling me this and didn't say anything ! When did you find out and who told you ? "

Candy sucked on my finger, " It was one of them drivers. Nows, he thinks it was the Pole-Lease, or maybes the security man. Anyways, she's probably locked up ands .... "

I didn't buy it, " No ! She would of called me, or made bail by now ! Which driver told you that and where is he at ? "

Candy slipped my finger in, " Oh ! Baby ! Right there ! Oh ! That's it ! He's the ones driving that ... Oh, Baby ! Comes and gets somes of this ! "

So's, err.. So, I did ! Yep, there's something about a hot piece of nukey and a stiff, you know what. I can't explain it and men can't help it. Yep, we're dogs and can't control ourselves. Yep, it doesn't matter how old we are, how much we love someone else, if we're fat, in poor health, bald, have high blood pressure, no blood pressure, can't get around, on our death bed, half blind, deaf, have stinky feet, no feet, and ... Well you know, what I mean ! Yep we mated, like two rabbits in heat and tried to screw each other to death. Anyway, when the smoke cleared and our moans of pleasure ended. I jumped right up and.... No ! I didn't ! Hell, I couldn't. Nope ! We passed out in each others legs.... err arms, as the earth shook and our bodies became one. What a deal, as Life Goes On.

Nightie night Snazzers, your Snazzy1.

 

Barney, I hope you didn't get any lasting coodies from that crack head... Now get off your butt and go find Hot Legs..

 

Yeah, got to find Hot Legs. Barney can worry about getting rid of that case of the Bull Head later. May be paying for that little tryst with the crack head leaning on the wall hollering in the head.

 

WELL WELL!!!!! OMG Barney....shame on you ! and OUR HOT LEGS is out there alone . somewhere!!!!!... oh well not to worry .... get off your butt ( thanks Kenmar you tell him ) and find the poor girl.... the cops have her.... oh dear....... get going ......sort this out and let us know whats going on !!!!! hurrry we are standing around like fools waiting with baited breath..... hummmmmmmmmm someone make the coffee....... LOL

 

Kenmar and Big Duker, see bugs and bent urinals. Knife Edge is ready for a hot cup of coffee, so on with the show, as Life Goes On. What a deal !

The sun was up and I was all alone. Yep I guess, Carmel Candy must of let herself out. My head felt stuffy and my eyes burned, as I sat up and tried to recount the night's events. Of course, I needed to bleed the lizard and a cup of go juice sounded good. So, I quickly dressed, snatched my thermos and sashayed inside. Drivers were busy preparing themselves, for another round of wheel holding. You know, they were like ants at a picnic grabbing snacks and treats. I sashayed straight back to the men's room and thumped it twice. The mirror watched me, as I washed my face and hands. Yep, that old mirror fella was sure was looking his age. Anyway, I made it over to the coffee urn and drained some in, before sashaying back out. Yep, this was going to be a long day. I did a quick pre-trip, marked a line in my book and pushed in the yellow knob. Ol'e Blue was ready to roar, so away we went. Now, what my mind voices had decide to do was this. I'd make that delivery, but not Quail in empty. Yep, that'd give me time to call the local cop shop and check. You know, on Hot Legs and see what was up. If she was in there I'd arrange her bail and if not. Well I guess, report her missing. Luckily, the shipper wasn't busy at all. So, I backed on the dock and decided to kill two birds. You know, while they unloaded me, I could use the pay phone. It was on the wall, back in the break room and I was the only driver there. So, I dropped in the coins and lit up a smoke.

It answered, " State Police, Trooper Sims speaking ! "

I was polite, " My name is Barney Goose and I was wondering. Could you tell me, if ya'll have a Hot Legs in custody ? I'm a trucker and she works for me. Anyway, I heard that ya'll might have picked her up. "

Sims sounded interested, " Mr Goose, was it ? Barney Goose ? "

I confessed, " Yeah, that's me and her name is H-O-T L-E-G-S, it's pronounced HOT LEGS ! "

Sims wanted to know, " Where are calling from, Mr Goose ? "

I looked at my clipboard, " I'm here, at the West Memphis Auto Warehouse, right off Miller's Lane. You know, back here, by the ..."

Sims talked over me, " I Know where that's at ! Uh, ... Let me check and see. You said, Hot Legs and you think, .... Now, what day was this ? "

I thought back, " It would of been ? Not last night ! But, the night before that. I guess, It was .... Let me think ! My daughter's wedding was.."

Sims made small talk, " Oh ! Your daughter recently got married ? Is she from around here ? "

I chatted back, " No ! We're from Texas. She lives, over close to Fort Worth and I live, just outside of Dallas. "

Sims had to ask, " Ya'll wouldn't be related to the Mc Gooses, that live over there, by Seven Points, would you ? "

I was honest, " No, but I've heard of them ! Oh, wait a minute ! There's something going on here ! Hang on ! "

So, I let the receiver dangle and sashayed towards the window. Yep, there were three, no four, make that five, no six ! Yep six, nice and shinny, fully equipped. police packaged, bubble gum topped, siren blasting, cop cars. What a deal !

I picked the phone back up, " Say, Sims ! Are you still there ? Somethings going on here and ... "

Sims dropped his bomb, " Goose ! You need to place your head, ontop of your hands. I mean, place your hands, ontop of your head ! The building is completely surrounded and there's noway out ! "

I had to ask, " What the hell's going on here ! I haven't done anything ! "

Sims wouldn't listen, " Don't make matters worst, for yourself ! Think, about your daughter ! It's up to you ! Are you going to surrender, or make us come in, after you ? "

So I sashayed out, with my head up my butt. Yep, I didn't have a clue, of what was going on. But hey ! I sure was wanting to find out. Anyway, I stepped out and was ordered on the ground. You know, at gun point, with fifty bystanders all taking it in. Yep I bet, they all had a good story to tell that night, at dinner. Anyway, the ride to the Cop Shop didn't take long and I was placed in a small interview room. What a deal, as Life Goes On,

Nightie night Snazzers, your Snazzy1.

 

Well what a turn up for the books......... Poor ol Barney in the Clink now . this has to be something good .......... or something bad for that matter .......... Light refreshment anyone............?.......... Poor ol Hot Legs what was going on with her .......??????????? ewwwwwwww Barney..... better find a lawyer!!!!

 

Dang Barney, you are going to have your own spot on the wall in the Post Office before long. The ten most wanted and the other guy who we just pick up every few months.

 

Why do I have the feeling that something VERY bad happened to Hot Legs and 'Ol Barney Goose is going to take the wrap?

 

Knife Edge suggest lawyering up, Big Duker sees post office wanted posters and Kenmar hit it on the head. Well, close enough to make Snazzer of the month and 200 Snazzy points. What a deal, as Life Goes On.

They removed my handcuffs and left me to myself. I gawked around and took it all in. Let's see, three plastic chairs, inside a 9'X10' room, that's a video camera up there, that's must be a two-way mirror, and there's a small table. Yep, it's an interview room alright ! I wonder, where their at ? Gees I guess, their just going to let me stew awhile. I bet, they'll play good cop, bad cop. You know, one will be all friendly and the other one will play bad cop. Man, this silly ! Maybe, I should just lawyer up ? I haven't done anything and.."

They entered, " Mr Goose ? I'm Trooper Good Cop and this is my partner, Bad Cop. Go ahead and have a seat. Do you care for some coffee ? "

I took the cup, " Thanks ! Is it alright, if I smoke ? "

Good Cop flicked his Bic, " There you go ! Here, we can share this ashtray. Do you know, why your down here ? Now, before you answer ! I need to read you, your rights. It's just a formality, but the law requires it. You have the right to remain silent and not answer any questions. If you give up that right, anything you say can and will be used against you in court. You have the right to an attorney and if you can't afford one, the court will appoint one, at no cost to you. You have the right, to refuse to answer any questions and to end the interview, at any time. You have the right to an examining trial and to confront any witnesses. Do you understand your rights and if you do, will you sign down here ? "

I signed it, " Here ! Now, what the hell is going on ? You know, I use to be a cop and .. "

Bad Cop exploded, " We know all about you ! Some cop you were ! You have a rat sheep, as long as my arm ! RICO, Auto Theft, Attempted Capital Murder, Assault, Indecent See, with a Minor, Bootlegging, Feet Stinking, Bar Brawling, Littering, Fornicating, with a Giraffe. Do I need to go on ? "

I blew smoke, " Giraffe ? You sure it wasn't an armadillo ? "

Good Cop freshened my coffee, " One lump or two ? There you go and would you care for a crumb pit ? I just baked these and they're fresh out of the oven. Here, let me fluff this pillow up and you can sit on it. How's that feel and here ! I can get on all fours and you can put your feet upon my back. Is that better ? "

I admitted it was, " Yeah, and these crumb pits aren't bad. Did you make these from scratch ? "

Good Cop blushed, " Oh, it's just something that mother showed me. She was such a wonderful cook and I tried to learn, as much as I could. "

Bad Cop went postal, " ####, get up and quit screwing around ! I'm trying to in-terror-gate a suspect and your acting like a little girl ! "

Good Cop's eyes watered, " I can't take this, I'll be outside. "

I folded my arms, " Well, I hope your happy ! Poor guy, was just being.."

Bad Cop frothed, " Look at these ! That's your handy work ! Take a good long look ! "

I fingered the photos, " Where did you get these ? Who is that ? "

Bad Cop pounded the table, " You know #### well, who that is ! Admit it and come clean ! We know everything and there's no use in you trying to lie your way out ! Well ! Say something ! "

I did, " Can you pass me another crumb pit ? "

So, Bad Cop did. Yep, he stuck that crumb pit right up my nose and wasn't even polite about it. Yep talk about anger management, that guy was wound way too tight. I could see why, Good Cop had issues with him. Anyway, Bad Cop stormed out and I snorted like a bull. You know, blowing out all them crumbs. Yep, after things settled down I eyed those pictures again. Nope, it wasn't anyone that I knew, but they sure looked dead. What a deal, as Life Goes On.

Nightie night Snazzers, your Snazzy1.

 

LOL OMG fornicating.....with a what .......oh my thats funny.... hummmm someone dead eh........ well good cop is a nice guy makes crumpets... hummmm did he save any for us ? well looks like trouble to me ...... poor ol Barney ....... but Hot Legs.. wonder if he will see her again ....... surely he will !