Hi, I'm Snazzy and I'm Trucker

Yep sounds like Barney Goose is heading to the health dept for shots. Either that or find someone that will trade you one that is blind for one with no teeth.

 

I'm thinkin' Barney ought to fume-i-gate 'Ole blue while he's at it... no use takin' chances, and the shots... well nothing a gallon of diesel won't cure...

 

Let's see, Gharleydude is off on workman's comp and just got back from a Carrie Bean Him Cruise. Yep, he'll fit right in here. Womb and Driver called this a serial novel and claims she's enjoying it. That's worth 50 Snazzy points. Big Duker suggest shots and Rikdev thinks diesel fuel might help. What a deal, as Life Goes On.

The week was hectic and passed by quickly. Yep, I dealt with things the best that I could. Let's see, burnt Ol'e Blue's mattress and bedding. Check ! Used those clippers and shaved off all my hair. Check ! Set off those cans of Bug Bombs in here and in Ol'e Blue. Check ! Washed everything in that RID stuff and used bleach to wipe things down. Check ! What's that ? Check ! No ! What is that ? On the bottom of my shoe ? Eureka ! It's that #### Crab and we've been looking all over for it. Well, remember what the inner net said, about them things. We can't be too careful, because those lava and mites are hard to see. Well, it also said, that after two weeks we should be alright. Hell, it's been a week now and ...

Knock, knock, knock, " Come in ! Hey Dan ! Have a seat ! "

Dan sat at the bar, " Oh, man ! Are you taking Keno There A Pee ? "

I rubbed my bald noggin, " No ! I lost a bet and had to shave. Here, have a beer and tell me, what's going on ? "

Dan popped the top, " Nothing much ! Ed said, that you had taken some time off and I thought, I'd stop by. Have you heard anything, about Hot Legs ? "

I popped a top, " No, not a word ! I did report her missing and.... "

Dan lit his cigar, " Ed told me, about your run in, with those cops. He said, something about there being a serial killer and... "

I lit a 100, " Yeah they thought, that I was their man ! Imagine that ? "

Dan took a swig, " Did you hear, about that woman's body they found ? It was on the news last night. She was dumped off here in Dallas, not too far from here. "

I took a gulp, " No, I didn't see that ! Which channel was it on ? "

Dan blew smoke, " It was on all of them ! They said, something about her being the fifteenth victim, of the Serial Truckstop Murders ! "

I blew smoke, " Yeah, them cops were saying, that there's a serial killer and he's targeting lot lizards. But, you know ! Hot legs wasn't doing that anymore and she can handle herself. I figured, she just got pissed at me. You know, maybe hooked up with someone else, or ... "

Dan didn't agree, " She wouldn't of done that ! Besides that, she wouldn't of left her stuff behind. Didn't you say, her stuff was still back there ? "

I nodded, " Yeah, that's what bothers me too ! If she was going to jump ship, she'd cleaned her stuff out. Oh, and another thing ! Some driver claimed, that he saw her with a cop, or a security guard. That was the night she disappeared. Then the night I got up there, that other girl ended up dead. It doesn't look good, but there's not much that I can do about it. You know, I reported her missing and ... "

Dan slapped my back, " Yeah Barney, it's not your fault. She'll show up and your probably right. Well, I need to get going and thanks for the beer. "

So, I saw Dan to the door and plopped back down. Yep, my mind voices were old hands at stirring things up. They never quit hounding me about Hot Legs and what an Idiot I was. Yeah, I never could satisfy them, so I just let them ramble on. I mean, it wasn't like, I could get up and leave, or anything, like that. Nope ! Just sit here and try to drown them out, with cold beer and Country Blues. What a deal, as Life Goes On.

Nightie night Snazzers, your Snazzy1.

 

Be Armed....... Raid hummmmm......

 

Knife Edge has the Raid, what a deal, as Life Goes On.

The next morning I bobtailed over to TLX and had plans to head out. I was parked next to the shop and busy placing the new mattresses in. Yep, Dan had gotten me a five finger discount. You know, he smuggled them out of the shop and didn't charge me a dime. Of course, I'd lied about what happened to the old ones. Yep, I didn't want to let the crab story get out, so I just fudged a little and claimed the cops had kept them. Anyway, I was busy making the bunks and doing manly things. You know, fluffing the pillows and tucking in the sheets. I noticed an official looking car swing in and park by the office. The two Flatfoots were dressed in cheap suits and had on western boots. They headed straight inside and a minute later my Quail sang. Yep, Ed was requesting my smiling face inside his office. I sashayed over and he made the introductions.

Ed pointed, " Barney ! These two Officers need to speak with you. I'll leave ya'll alone and be back later. "

I offered my paw, " How are ya'll doing ? I'm Barney Goose and what can I do for you ? "

He nodded, " I'm Sgt Flatfoot and that's my partner Round Toes. We're sorry to trouble you, but you made a missing person's report.

I sat behind Ed's desk, " Ya'll go ahead have a seat and would ya'll like a cup of coffee ? "

Flatfoot declined, " No ! We're just fine ! I need you to look at this and tell me, if you can identify who it is. "

My heart stopped, " OH NO ! NO ! IT CAN"T BE ! This has to be a mistake ! She can't be dead ! "

Flatfoot was all business, " So, this is Hot Legs ? Are you positive ? "

I choked back tears, " That's her alright. Where did ya'll find her at ? "

Round Toes piped in, " She was discovered off the Interstate, just inside our county. It's an hours drive Southeast of here. Have you ever been to Cough Man county ? "

I was honest, " I can't place it. Is it down there by Whack A Hat She ? "

Flatfoot pointed, " You take 20 East and head South on 175. Like your headed to A Thins. Have you ever been down that way ? "

I lit a 100, " Oh I'm sure, I probably have, but I don't remember when. How did she die and when did ya'll fine her ? "

Round Toes guessed, " She was most likely strangled and dumped there. A passing motorist spotted her remains. That was Friday and we don't have an autopsy report yet. According to this, you reported her missing back on the 14th. Is that right ? "

I strained my brain, " Let me think. That sounds, about right. It was a day or two, after my daughter got married. You see, she drove for me and we were kind of.. Well, involved. You know, she and I are ... I mean, were single and ... "

Flatfoot dropped his bomb, " You wouldn't mind coming to the station with us and giving a statement ? It's just routine and it'll help us find who did this. You understand, don't ya ? "

I did, " Hey look ! If there's anything ya'll need from me, just ask ! I'll take a polygraph, give you my DNA, fingerprints and hair sample. Oh wait ! Well, when it grows back you can have all you want ! "

So, they escorted me to their unmarked sedan and we headed out. Yep, they seemed like good ole boys and I wanted to help. You know, I was their prime suspect. The husband, or boyfriend always is. Yep, the sooner they took me off their list of suspects. Well, the quicker they could go after the real killer. Yep, and they better find him, before I do. As Life Goes On.

Nightie night Snazzers, your Snazzy1.

 

Well, it go's from BAD to WORSE to ???????

 

Ah man--that sucks..................

 

Barney needs him a set of hip waders.. He keeps stepping in the deep stuff.. Haven't you learned to lawyer up by now?

 

Awwwww Our Hot Legs...... strangled.... thats horrible...... awwwwwww poor Ol Barney again.... off to the station..... Life just Sucks don't?

 

Glad to see Rigdriver1 is still with us, long time no see. Pjw044 is back and notes this sucks. How true ! How true ! Kenmar suggest hip waders and lawyering up. What a deal, as Life Goes On.

My typed statement was three pages long. You know, it covered all that I knew about everything. Now, I was impressed with the Cough Man County crime scene crew. They took a blood sample, swabbed my mouth for DNA, stuck their finger up my butt, held my boys and had me cough. You know, they did a real good job of collecting evidence. Anyway, after they were done Sgt Flatfoot had a few more questions. He sat behind his desk and read over my statement.

I lit a 100, " Oh, I just thought of something ! If ya'll need to search my truck it's alright with me. I'll sign a release and drive it over here. "

Flatfoot declined, " No ! That's alright ! That other agency already did that and we have all we need, for now. I do have one question though ! When our crime scene unit photoed your body..."

I jumped in, " Oh ! Your wondering, why I shaved myself ? Well, the truth is that I was down by the border and caught the crabs. They were inside one of them port-a-potties and ... "

Flatfoot grinned, " Well, that explains it ! We knew, that you weren't that dumb and it makes sense now. "

I blew smoke, " What does ? "

Flatfoot was honest, " Your an ex-cop and know how suspects try to get rid of evidence. We had one yank his own teeth out to avoid having a bite mark compared. Another time one of em cut his fingers up trying to keep them from being compared. "

I got it, " Yeah I see, what your saying. No ! I didn't shave to avoid a hair sample. Like I said, anything ya'll need ! I'm ready for that polygraph and the sooner the better ! I swear, I want this guy more than ya'll do ! "

Flatfoot nodded, " Well, we'll hold up on you taking that. My partner Round Eyes interviewed your x-wife. There's noway you could of been anywhere near where Hot Legs disappeared. Matter of fact, I can't remember anyone having a better alibi ! Yep, being in a wedding and giving your daughter away in front of 200 witnesses. Plus, having it video taped. Well, that pretty much rules you out. "

I had to ask, " What happens now ? I mean, how do I claim her body and arrange for her funeral ? "

Flatfoot handed it over, " This is the Medical Examiner's card and you can call him to arrange all of that. If you have any problems give me a call. Now Mr Goose, I really mean this. We'll do all we can and that's a promise. It doesn't matter, how she became a victim ! "

I gave the LOOK, " Do, what ? Ya'll think, that she did something to become a victim ! All she did was get kidnapped, raped and ...."

Flatfoot backed up, " Now, I didn't mean it that way ! What I was trying to say is... "

I stood up, " Forget it ! Just find out who did this ! "

So, I got a ride back to the River Queen. No ! Flatfoot had one of the other cops drive me back. I guess, he thought that I was a bit thin skinned, or touchy. You know, about Hot Legs and her past line of work. Oh, I'm sure he didn't mean anything by it and would do all that he could. But Hey ! That was his job and he better ! Well, you know what I mean, as Life Goes On.

Nightie night Snazzers, your Snazzy1.