Hi, I'm Snazzy and I'm Trucker

Broncrider wishes me luck, Creekrd offered to hide me out, Knife Edge thinks that Barney hit the Big One, Kenmar wants to place bets and lilillill threatens to rob a bank. What a deal, as Life Goes On.

The screaming woke me up, as I tried to get my barrings. You know, clear the cobwebs out and snap awake. Yep, they drug him in and removed his cuffs, as I sat up, but kept my mouth shut. He was face down on the floor and one of the Cops knee dropped him in the back. He let out a moan, as the Coward Cops ran like ladies for the exit. They slammed the door and giggled, before strutting down the hall. I climbed off the top bunk and helped him up. He was black guy, about my age, close to my size and smelled like a brewery.

I had to ask, " Are you alright ? "

He shoved me back, " Keep your #### hands off of me ! I can take care of myself and don't need your help ! "

I shrugged, " Just trying to help ! "

He sized me up, " What happened to you, were you in a car wreck ? "

I shook my head, " No, those Idiots did this to me. Hell, they tried to kill me and you wouldn't believe, the half of it ! "

The blanket bellowed, " Keep it down, I'm trying to sleep ! "

The Black Guy gave me the LOOK, " Is that a buddy of yours ? "

I was honest, " No, I don't know him ! He was asleep, when I got here. "

The Blanket sat up, " I'm not telling ya'll again ! Shut up and I mean it ! "

So, the Black Guy grabbed The Blanket and the fight was on. I stepped back and tried to stay out of the way. The Black Guy threw all of the punches and The Blanket went down.

I stepped between them, " He's had enough ! Let him up and quit kicking him, before someone gets hurt ! "

The Black Guy backed down, " He better watch himself ! I don't take crap from no one and that goes, for you too ! "

So, the fight was over, before it started. Yep, that Black Guy could sure use his fist and the kid he whipped got a taste of it. I helped the kid up and sat him on the bottom bunk. He didn't look in to bad of shape and most of the hits were body blows.

I spoke softly, " Do yourself a favor and leave that guy alone. "

The Kid mouthed off, " Screw that N-Word ! I'm not afraid of him ! "

So, the Black Guy doubled his fist and was ready to finish the job. Of course, I'd had enough, by then and played peace maker, " LOOK ! We're locked in here and have to get along ! Now, you can have my top bunk and let's cut the crap ! "

So, the Black Guy got all comfy, where I had been and The Kid bundled back into his blanket cocoon. What a deal ! Yep, I got to sit on the floor and listen to them snore, as time stood still and ate at me. Anyway, I decided to go ahead and use that phone. You know, the pay phone on the wall and let Capt Hook, or somebody know, where I was at. I picked up the receiver and was expecting a dial tone. Nope ! There was a beeping noise and then a Husky Voice came on the line, " Number and name ? "

I paused, " Oh, I'm Barney Goose and I need to call 214-.... Hello ? Hello ? "

Yep, the phone went dead and I figured out, what happened. I guess, since my charges involved kicking a Cop's butt. Well you know, what I mean ! Yep, they'd show me a thing, or two and teach me a lesson. I hung it up and paced the floor awhile. You know, I was still pretty bruised up and had all sorts of aches and pains. Finally, I dozed off in the corner and hoped that things might get better. The clanking of keys woke me awake and the Black Guy got to go before the judge. He wasn't gone long and returned, with his paperwork. You know, his magistrate's warning and bond setting. Anyway, the good news was, that The Kid got released. Yep, he'd only been in for some minor traffic tickets and had served his five days. I was happy to see him leave and quickly claimed his lower bunk.

The Black Guy was all nice, " Say, I don't have my reading glasses and can you read this ? "

I sat up, " Yeah, I got one too ! She set your bail at $2,500 dollars and your charged, with DWI first offense. This other page here is, what that Cop read to you. You know, your breath test refusal and it gives you 15 days to set a hearing. If you don't, then you'll have to surrender your license in 45 days. I got the same paperwork, but I wasn't driving. "

The Black Guy laughed, " Hell, I don't remember who was driving ! The last thing I remember was being at a club and leaving, with some gal. I hope, she's alright and they didn't arrest her. Oh man, I hate losing my license, because I just finished truck driving school. I'm suppose to start working next week and ... "

I felt his pain, " Yeah, that'll really screw that up ! What school did you go to and who were going to drive for ? "

He dropped his bomb, " TLX, their school was ... "

I dropped my bomb, " I'm leased on with them and use to be their General Manager. I helped start that school and ... "

The Black Guy chuckled, " Man, it's a small world, ain't it ! Boy, I sure screwed up and ... "

I tried to cheer him up, " Look, it's not over until the Fat Lady sings ! I'm going to contest mine and hire me a lawyer. "

The Black Guy was honest, " I can't afford one and they won't appoint one to fight this. I mean they'll have to, for the DWI, but not to keep my license. They taught us that in school ! "

I was impressed, " Oh, really ? Well I guess, they should know, but it doesn't seem right. Your suppose to be innocent, until proven guilty and I bet, the State will sure have a lawyer ! "

The Black Guy nodded, " Oh, I wanted to tell you, about what happened earlier. I didn't mean to ... "

I waved him off, " Oh, forget ! That Kid had it coming and ... "

So, me and the Black Guy had a lot in common. Yep, we were in the same boat and facing the same fate. He wasn't a bad guy and we hit it off pretty good. No ! We didn't know each others friends, or hangout at the same places, but .... Well you know, what I mean, as Life Goes On.

Nightie night Snazzers, your Snazzy1.

 

Time to load up your grip and go hide in the hills around Paluxy. You can be the next Randy Weaver or some of the others. We will spread the Snazzy /Barney lore until you are pardoned. Of course it may all just work out anyway. But one good thing is that in the calaboose you will probably have access to a much better computer. Good luck Snazzy.

 

WOW OL Barney made a friend........ shame he cant make his phone call.. but him and his new found friend can chatter........ thats a good thing.......at least they arent swinging fist!

 

Sorry Dukesdad, you snuck in between my last post and I didn't see you, but thanks for sticking around and your support. Knife Edge is happy that Barney made a friend and Big Duker suggest hiding in the hills. What a deal, as Life Goes On.

The well dressed Detective sat behind his desk and read over his report. I was seated facing him and wiping the fingerprint ink off my blackened fingers.

He spoke first, " Not that you care, but Officer Skinny is going to be okay. Now, before I interview you, I have read you, your rights. You have..."

I interrupted him, " Don't bother ! I know my rights and wish to remain silent. When are ya'll going to transfer me to county ? "

The Detective turned red, " Oh, a real tough guy ! You'll go, when I say you go and not a minute sooner ! I see here, that your a career criminal ! Auto theft, RICO, attempted murder, DWI's, and the list goes on. Yep, you screwed the pooch this time ! Aggravated assault on a Peace Officer is a second degree felony and good for five to twenty ! "

I rolled my swollen eyes, " I know, what the law is and this won't fly ! I have a right to resist unnecessary force and he's lucky that I didn't wring his neck ! "

The Detective smirked, " You jail house lawyers have all the answers. Tell me this, if your so smart ! Why are you headed to the county jail and Officer Skinny is receiving an award ? "

I grinned, " Hell, I hope he gets promoted and a pay raise ! He's going to need it to satisfy my lawsuit ! Matter of fact, I hope this Poe Dunk City has good insurance. Yep we'll see, who knows what and how this turns out ! "

So, The Detective placed me back in my cell and The Black Guy was all ears. Yep, we cut it up and solved the world's problems in no time. It was a little afternoon, when the Patty Wagon arrived. The Young Deputy placed us in a chain gang. You know, each of our hands were cuffed together. My left to Blacks right, his left to the guy behind him and so on. There were about a half a dozen of us. We were led to the van and herded in, like sheep to the slaughter. The Patty Wagon was all ready filled to capacity with other misfortune ants. You know, they'd got picked up on the way, from other city jails. Most were younger folks, all were male and none of them looked to be hardened criminals. There were two benches on either side of the van and we had to face each other, during the ride. Before we headed out the Young Deputy spoke with The Detective. I guess they didn't know, that we could hear every word said. Yep, The Detective was full of himself and told a couple of war stories. Then he bragged, about the new computer system that sure saved time. Yep all he had to do, was type in the case and presto bingo it was filed with the D.A.'s office. What a deal ! Anyway, their voices lowered and then the rear door opened.

The Detective pointed, " That's him right there ! Step out Goose ! "

So, I stepped down and he removed my cuff. You know, the one that had me connected to Black. I was ordered to the side of the van, as the door was slammed shut. We were inside a Sally Port. You know, a garaged area that had it's door rolled down. There were no witnesses and no one to see, what happened next.

The Young Deputy barked, " Place your hands on the van and spread your feet apart ! Futher ! Futher ! That's good ! Now, listen to me ! We can do this the easy way, or the hard way ! It makes me no difference and I hope that you resist ! You got anything say ? "

So, before I could open my mouth the nightstick slammed against my back. Yep, it caught me a good one and smarted like hell. Of course, out of end stink I turned to my side. The Detective grabbed my wrist and wrenched my arm, behind my back. My face kissed the van, as his forearm pressed hard against the back of my neck.

The Detective whispered, " Alright, Tough Guy ! Let's see what you got ! Well, come on ! I'll break your arm and that's a fact ! Come on ! "

My lips puckered against the metal, " Look ! I don't want any trouble, just ease up and let's .... "

The Young Deputy joined in, " Here, take him down and I'll put these on him. He thinks, he's bad ? I'll show him bad ! "

So, I was laid out, face down and hog tied like a rodeo steer. Yep, them Cops wanted to teach me a lesson. They gave me the old heave hoe and I belly busted on the van's floor. All I could see was snickers and boots, as we sped off and were on our way. Now, Black and a couple of other prisoners did voice their concerns, but to no avail. Yep, while I was sliding back and forth and being banged around, it reminded me of a joke. You see, there was this pet shop and a boy came in. His dad wanted to buy him a pet for his birthday. The shop owner suggested a horny toad. Their easy to take care of and make excellent pets. Anyway a few days later, they returned and the toad was deader than a doornail. Yep it's belly was, like raw meat and all chewed up. Well, the store owner apologized and gave the kid another one. Yep, it must of been some rash, or maybe a disease. Well, a week later they came back in and you guessed it. Yep, deader than hell and displayed the same under belly defects. The Store Owner was shocked, " Sir, I can't understand this. I sale a dozen of them a week and never had one complaint. "

The Dad shrugged, " My son loves them and he's heart broken. He stays in his room and plays with them all day. "

The Son pointed, " I want that fat one over there, Dad ! "

The Shop Keeper knelt, " Son, I'll give you one more, but this will be the last one. I'm just at a loss to why this happened. "

The Son screamed, " Vroom ! Vroom ! Look, Dad ! He burns more rubber and scoots faster, than the others did ! "

What a deal, as Life Goes On.
Nightie night Snazzers, your Snazzy1.

 

AHHHhhh Barney is in it again ..... scooting like a horny toad........ seems like the cops ent to impressed with him........... ahhhhh here we go again ......... trouble with a capital T, I can see. Look at his rap sheet...... Hes been hit with it before........ awwww Poor ol Barney!!!!! Lets hope for the best.

 

MAN I take a few days off to go do some real work and You guys and gals let Barney get beat bruised bent probed and the Good Lord only knows what else... And then your going to let the Snazzer get hauled off too... Hummmmm just what am I to think???? Dang-it Barney, Guess Ocifer Fife told a whopper of a story on ya. Some po-dunk town in TX gives awards for tellin' the best fibbs... Well guess we can hope ya get a little better treatment in the county lock-up... We'll put ya on the list to get what ya need smuggled in to ya later... I wish ya the best, as I BTDT... Not going back... ''cuz I like my coffe when I want it.

 

Knife Edge is hoping for the best and Rikdev promises to smuggle in contraband. What a deal, as Life Goes On.

The van doors swung open and we were inside the county garage. It was below street level and in the basement. The other prisoners were led inside, while two county deputies guarded me. A few minutes passed, before the Jail Lt. waltzed up. He was tall ugly, middled aged and wanted to kick my butt. Of course, I was still hogtied and completely defenseless. Now to be honest, I'm sure that Jail Lt. could of whipped my butt in a fair fight. Yep, he was a lot bigger, than I was and a hell of a lot madder. Anyway, he grabbed my ankles and yanked me out. I twisted sideways and tried to cushion the fall. You know, from the van to the hard concrete floor. Yep, my hands were still cuffed behind my back and leg shackles were on my ankles. They had a large flex-cuff connecting the two, that completed the hogtie. What a deal ! The Deputies circled around me and prevented any video cameras to record the event. The Jail Lt. ground his heel on the side of my face, " We don't screw around here ! You got that ? "

So, I just laid there and wrenched in pain. I mean, it's hard to talk with someone standing on your face. He gave his Cool Hand Warden speech, " What we have here is a failure to communicate ! Tough Guy here needs an attitude adjustment and learn to keep his hands to himself. You understand Boy ! You as much, as eyeball one of us and it'll be the last thing you ever do ! Now, go ahead and place him in the Box ! "

So, I was carried like a duffel bag. You know, by my flex-cuff and thrown in the box. Well it really wasn't a box, it more like a microwave oven. You see, the holding tank was a large room and to it's rear were several glassed in cells. They were small, 8' by 4', had a cement slab for a bunk, with thick bulletproof glass. There was a bright spotlight located in the ceiling and from the outside looking in. Well I looked like, a turkey basking in a microwave. Of course, they left me hogtied and the other inmates could see in. I guess, it was a warning to them. You know, I was made an example of what happened to guys on the Bad Boy's list. Black and several of the other inmates yelled words of encouragement, but were careful not to be overheard. Yep, being in there wasn't a pleasant experience. I began sweating, like a preacher in a house of ill repute. Now I don't know, how many hours passed, but minutes seemed like days. Anyway, the timer went off and a mitten wearing Deputy added salt and pepper. He stuck a thermometer up my rear and pronounced me well and done. I was then taken before Judge Sweat Heart. She was a good looking knock out and I'm not lying ! Yep, I was smitten ! Of course, there were 40 other inmates and we were lined up. She sat behind a window and read us our rights. Then she called our names and set our bail. I was at the end of the line and the deputy set me down. Yep, I was still a suitcase and wearing my clown outfit. It reminded me of being at the airport and seeing life, through luggage eyes. What a deal !

She smiled, " Deputy, you can remove his restraints. "

The Deputy refused, " No, I can't ! He's classified, as a level four and .."

Judge Sweat Heart insisted, " He'll do just fine and I'll take full responsibility. Mr Goose, is it ? Oh, goodness ! What happened to him ? "

The Deputy removed my restraints, " He assaulted an Officer and had to be subdued. He was like this, when we booked him in ! "

Sweat Heart batted her eyes, " Mr Goose, do you need medical attention ? "

I tried to stand, " No, I'll be alright ! "

She read the charge, " Mr Goose, your in the custody of the Alice County Sheriff's department. Your being held, for the offense of boating while intoxicated. No information, or indictment has been filed, with this court and I set your bail, at $500.00. Are you sure, that your alright ? "

I caught that, " Five hundred dollars ? What happened to the five billion and the assaulting a cop charge ? "

Sweat Heart giggled, " I can raise it, if you want me to ! All that is before me is this class B, Miss Doe Meaner. Are you sure, that you don't medical attention, or at least see the nurse on duty ! "

So, I signed on the dotted line and was escorted away. Yep, something sure wasn't right, but hey ! I mean, all I wanted to do was post bail and get the hell out of there. The deputy didn't put me back in the microwave and let me mingle with the others. Yep, Black was still there, but the herd had thinned out. I guess, a few had made bail and some had been transferred upstairs.

Black smiled, " Man, your darker than I am ! Are you alright ? "

I rubbed my wrist, " Yeah I'm okay, but that light in there can sure roast a guy. Hey that Foxy Judge, lowered my bail and I might be getting out of here. How'd you make out ? "

Black turned grim, " She lowered mine to $500.00, but I still can't afford it. I don't have a dime to my name and nowhere to go anyway ! "

It hit me, " ####, I just thought of something ! I didn't have much on me, when they arrested me and I sure need to call someone. "

So, I limped over to the pay phone and waited my turn. Yep, there were five inmates ahead of me and the line wasn't moving. Nope, I just stood there and waited. Yep, we're waiting Snazzers, just waiting, as Life Goes On.

Nightie night Snazzers, your Snazzy1.

 

Well things are looking up... LOL may-be Barn wil get to make that phone call to who??? Wonder if he even remembers the number?

 

I bet Ol Barney snuggles up to the judge and gets an acquittal...

 

We'll see if someone can post bail for ol Barney, ahhhhhhh sorry ol pal dont call me I'm a little light on the dosh right now ...... maybe the judge will put up bail and take Barney home and they all lived happy ever after? Naaaaa thats a fairy tail......... oh well worth a try thats for sure!