Hi, I'm Snazzy and I'm Trucker

Discussion in 'The Welcome Wagon' started by Snazzy, Aug 3, 2007.

  1. Snazzy1

    Snazzy1 The Storyteller

    Aug 21, 2007
    Granbury, Texas
    Rikdev hears inmates whistling while they work, as Life Goes on.

    I was seated at my desk, next to the lieutenant's and interviewing a New Fish. Yep, my new policy of screening inmates and explaining policy helped to weed out undesirables. The New Fish signed for his employee handbook and I assigned him to the bakery.

    The Lt poured me a cup, " Say Barn, I have a question about this projected weekly report. You have here, an estimated production increase of 17% and projected a 12% reduction in man hours. How's that possible ? "

    I took a sip, " Let me see that ! Oh, what I did was place that hiring freeze in effect and only replaced the workers that are already assigned here. Then I added that third production line and ..... What a minute ! I need to answer that, Goose speaking, Uh huh, yeah, when ? Oh, well if he can drop the trailer there and come back later. Yeah, yeah, that'll be good ! No, just make sure he comes back and doesn't block our dock. Alright, no problem, bye bye. Where was I ? "

    The Lt sat back down, " I understand it now and hated to bother you. Oh, one more thing ! When is your court date ? "

    I shuffled some paperwork, " My what ? Oh, court date ! I'm not sure that I have one yet. "

    The Lt placed his boots on his desk, " You should have ! Your suppose to be formally charged, or released within 10 days. How long has it been ? "

    I fingered the calender, " Let's see, I was arrested on Thanksgiving and held at that city jail, for three days. Then I've been her at the county for about a week and ... Oh, do weekends count ? "

    The Lt nodded, " Yeah, they sure do ! You know what that means ! If your not taken to court today, well chances are you'll be discharged. Hold it, let me answer that. Hello..., speaking ! Uh huh, yeah, he's here with me. No, not yet, but ... Oh, you have it ! Alright, I'll do that, bye bye ! Man ! Barney your not going to believe this ! That was the release desk and they've been looking for you. Your being discharged ! "

    So, I feel out of my chair and my jaw hit the floor. I mean, it was too good to be true. Yep I was still in shock, when the van arrived and drove me to main jail. I was placed in a small holding area, with several other inmates. Most of them had served their county time, or were being released on probation. Our property bags, with our clothing inside were handed out and I quickly got dressed. No ! Not the clown suit ! My regular clothes had been washed and shedding those prison whites sure felt good. It was slow torture waiting my turn and minutes passed like hours. Finally, my name was called and I stood in front of the release desk. Well, it was a small folding table, with a Deputy handing out our release forms. Mine was a pink colored, legal sized sheet, that was type written. The hallway was dark and I couldn't make it out.

    I had to ask, " Deputy, can you read this to me ? "

    The Deputy sneered, " It just says that your bing released, without bond and that you'll need to appear on the 24th. That's 20 days from now and see if charges are filed then ! If they are, you'll be rearrested and taken back into custody. Just sign down here and we'll get you out of here. "

    I didn't get it, " Wait a minute ! This doesn't make any sense ! Your releasing me and then you want me rearrest myself in 20 days. Is that right ? I mean, why release me and ... "

    The Deputy interrupted, " LOOK ! The charges weren't filed, so your being released. This is just how the DA covers his butt ! "

    I got it, " Oh, I see ! If I go commit a felony, or get rearrested. Well he can claim, because of the jail overcrowding and crowded court dockets that he didn't have a choice. Well what happens, if I don't sign it ? I mean, I'm being honest and might not come back ! "

    The Deputy whispered, " Look ! Chances are, your home free. This is just how they dismiss charges and keep the jail population down. Sign here and be happy that your getting out ! "

    So, I signed on the dotted line and was buzzed out the door. Yep, all I had was some pocket change and a light windbreaker. The night air was freezing cold and bit at my skin, like a thousand hungry polar bears. What a deal, as Life Goes On.

    Night night Snazzers, your Snazzy1.
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  3. Snazzy1

    Snazzy1 The Storyteller

    Aug 21, 2007
    Granbury, Texas
    It was getting dark, as the high winds blew me down the sidewalk canyon. You know, skyscrapers towered above me, as traffic breezed by. My nose dripped and fingers stung from the bitter cold. I spotted a street sign that rang a bell and made my mind voices to come to life. Yep, Lamar Street wasn't a stranger to me. It runs North to South and parallels IH 45, sort of, kind of. Yep, if I could keep heading South, it would take me closer to where I needed to be. I didn't have a plug nickel to my name and that windbreaker didn't brake much wind. I managed to hoof it about a quarter of a mile, before it turned completely dark and too harsh to continue. There was a small tavern, with several cars parked out front. Yep, maybe someone might give me a ride, or at least I could get warmed up. Country music filled the air, as I sashayed in and darted my eyes. Yep, a local dive that catered to the working class. Saw dust floor, cheap tables and chairs, a beer stained bar and an outdated jukebox. What a deal ! The stench of stale beer and cigarette smoke made me homesick. I timidly sat on the end stool and tried not to be noticed. You know, I was broke and didn't know a soul in there. Luckily it wasn't too crowded and no one paid me much attention. I blew in my hands and then folded my arms to get my circulation moving. I sized up the bartender, who was tending to things. Let's see, mid to late 30's, 5'9", at least 190 lbs, dyed red hair, with brown roots, wearing too much makeup and #### she spotted me.

    I lied, " I'm just waiting for someone and they should be here soon. "

    She had to ask, " Who ? I might know them ? "

    I paused, " No ! Their from out of town and never have been here before. "

    Her dark eyes blinked, " Well alright, but if you need anything just holler ! "

    So, I sat there warming up and decided to have a smoke. Yep, all I had were those hand rolled kind that the commissary sold. You know, from jail ! Anyway I tried to be discrete and rolled it, as quickly as I could. The drunk next to me was an older fella, with weathered skin, wearing a cowboy hat, western shirt, boots and had tobacco stained teeth. He was drinking whiskey, from a shot glass and broke the ice, " How you doing ? "

    I lit up, " Trying to thaw out ! Man, it's cold out there and ...."

    He jumped in, " Colder than a well diggers a_ss ! Suppose to get down to the low teens and they say, that it might snow. When did you get out ? "

    I was shocked, " Get out ? What do you mean ? "

    Tobacco Stain grinned, " Them Bugle roll ups gave you away ! Only jail birds, or winos smoke them things. Oh, don't take me wrong. It's none of bussiness and I don't mean nothen by it. "

    I blew smoke, " Yeah I guess, I'm not the first one released to stop in here. I'm trying to get a ride over towards IH 20, but don't have any cash on me. You wouldn't know anyone headed that way ? "

    Tobacco Stain slid his pack over, " Here, have one of my free world smokes and put that thing out ! It's stinking the place up. No ! I'm not headed that way, but ask Sherry. She knows everyone in here and that's a fact. "

    I inhaled, " Oh yeah, that's a lot better ! Man, I forgot how good these things are. Are you from around here ? "

    So, Tobacco Stain and I got to know one another. He was your typical bar fly and bragged a bit much, but seemed nice enough and shared his whiskey. Yep, it was a bring your own booze bar and they sold setups. Oh course, beer was over the counter and Sherry took care of that. After a few shots and smoking my fair share, I finally motioned her over, " Say, Sherry I hate to bother you, but I have a question. "

    Sherry was all ears, " What is it ? "

    I took a gulp, " That guy Tobacco Stain said, that you might know someone headed South, towards IH 20. I need a ride that way and ... "

    Sherry smiled, " What happened to your friends ? You know, for lying to me I shouldn't help you out ! Tobacco Stain told me, before he left that you just got released from jail. Your not a serial killer, are you ? "

    I cheesed, " Not hardly ! I got popped for boating while intoxicated, but it's a capital case. "

    Sherry looked confused, " A capital case ? "

    I blew smoke, " Yeah, I passed the cop doing 75 and was weaving. "

    Sherry had to ask, " You were doing 75 mph on the lake ? ''

    I snickered, " No, I was on IH 20 and in a row boat ! "

    So, we laughed and cut it up, until Elsie arrived. Sherry bought us several rounds and tried to find me a ride. Nope ! Nobody was headed my way and the night was growing late. What a deal, as Life Goes On.

    Nightie night Snazzers, your Snazzy1.
  4. themlilboots

    themlilboots Heavy Load Member

    Dec 9, 2005
    Now what are you gonna do? Stranded at a bar....you can't sleep on the bar stools!

    RENORCR Bobtail Member

    Nov 5, 2007
    Los Angeles, CA
    Oh boy, Snazz. What have you gotten yourself into now?
  6. rikdev50s

    rikdev50s Medium Load Member

    Aug 12, 2008
    Greer, SC
    As only Barney can... Looks like Barney found him a new GF. He needs one to take care of him when he's not off saving the world... :yes2557: Oh and he does need a place to spend the night, Why not a dyed red head...
  7. Ken

    Ken Couch Commander

    Oct 29, 2006
  8. Knife Edge

    Knife Edge Heavy Load Member

    Wow Free smokes....... a drink or 2 or 3 or 4.......... and a dyed red head ........geeez couldnt she fix her roots? Barney scrape some of that muck off her boat will ya mate ........ maybe she'll look better to ya........ hummmm 22 pinter thats for sure ...LOL... Even Barney boy was on the run.......... It's either Lucky night........ Bad night..... Cold night..... or Trouble night again .............. uhhhh ohhhhhhhhh .............
  9. creekrd

    creekrd Light Load Member

    Oct 12, 2008
    Yoo-hoo Goose....Oh Goose, where are you ?
  10. Snazzy1

    Snazzy1 The Storyteller

    Aug 21, 2007
    Granbury, Texas
    Lets have a Big Snazzy Welcome for 2Lilboots our newest Snazzers, who points out that sleeping on bar stools isn't an option. Renorcr ask, what has Goose got himself into ? Ricdev suggest sleeping in dyed red hair. Knife Edge knows, that the opposite sex always look better at closing time. Kenmar and Creekrd, both noticed that I've been missing in action. Yep you guessed it ! No, I'm not in the Whose Cow yet, but my puter crashed and I do mean CRASHED ! Anyway, I've been able to get on our site, but not able to post. Well, that is until now. So, I'll see if this post and try to come back. What a deal, as Life Goes On ? Brb, or nightie night Snazzzers, your Snazzy1.
  11. Knife Edge

    Knife Edge Heavy Load Member

    Awwww Snazzy...... whats this.. aww it crashed again ...... this is bad news for all of us who waits for the new sessions of Barney....... well hope you can get it back up and running ......... cus here we sit awaiting and holding our breath......... :O)
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