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First, lets have a Big Snazzy Welcome for our newest Snazzers, Heavy Haul Girl, Dan B, Trucker Jef, Harleyman60, Panhandle Flash, Icuratruckerswife and Topideas. They joined during my absence and this is my first chance to thank them. Now for you old Snazzers that posted, about my missing in action. Knife Edge, Creekrd, Rikdev50, Kenmar, Wolfie, Big Duker, Sportster 2000, Pappy Gt 13, Lobshot, Pjw044, Dukesdad, lililllill, and Big Grey. I'm truly shocked at everyone's kind words and concerns. It has been a rough few months. My, how time flies. I last posted back 0n Jan 16th, 2009 and was having trouble with this old 1999 Gateway, running Windows 98, and using the old dial-up. Well, I still am and that's why I made the Monkey's Uncle remark. So, ya'll are wondering what happend to me. It's a long, long, story and I won't bore you with the details. Of course if you continue reading, As Life Goes On, you'll ... No ! I can't lie to you Snazzers. Ya'll probably be madder than wet hornets, if you continue reading this true fiction crap. What a waste of time and energy. Ya'll could be enjoying life and contributing to mankind. Oh No ! Sit here waste your life, stuff you face, ignore your family, and stay glued to this silly screen. Man ! What's the world coming to ? An Idiot starts typing his screwed up life story and Snazzers line up like ants at a picnic. Gees, if this doesn't beat all ! Well, I warned you and that's about all I can do. Oh, I did miss each and everyone of you and as Willie sang, You Were Always On My Mind. Now, for those who continue. Your homework is to read post # 1752. We last left off, as Barney was released from jail and held up at a bar, blah, blah, blah.
Nighty Night Snazzers, Your Snazzy1.
Well Snazzers, I did post a story earlier tonight. It was rather lengthy and only lacked a few words, when Zappo ! Yep, I got knocked off line and of course, since I can't paste and copy. Well, what a bummer ! Yep, dang ole puters could drive a man to drink, hiccup. Anyway, I'll try again tommrow and we'll see what happens. Keep the faith and remember the Snazzy Code,' I didn't do it ! '
Nighty Night Snazzers, your Snazzy.
Well Creekrd, that depengds if this post or not, but thanks for staying tuned.
The last bar fly staggerd out, so Sherry locked the door and began closing out the register. I empitied the ashtrays and wiped down the tables. It was a little after midnight when we exited the club and noticed that several inchs of white stuff had covered everything. Sherry plopped down behind the wheel and I sat shotgun.
She handed it over, " You'll need to scrape off the windows. I can't see a thing and my defroster doesn't work.
So, I manned the ice scrapper and scrapped away. The clunker was an old Thunderturd. You know, the old long hooded kind that was replaced by the smaller version. Of course, it's probably a classic by now. Anyway, my fingers were numb, but I got her done.
I retook the passenger bucket, " My hands are frozen ! Gees, it looks like it's still coming down. "
Sherry eased her in drive, " Now, I need to know something and tell me the truth. What exactly were you in jail for ? "
I placed my fingers under my armpits, " They got me for BWI, that's boating while intoxicated. The young peckerhead that arrested me tried to stick me with ###-salting him, but I guess the D. A. didn't buy it. Hell, these young cops today are something else. They can't wait to stir things up. Hell, when I was a cop we didn't have to. I use to bend over backwards and try to keep things from getting out of hand. "
Sherry entered onto the frwy, " You were a cop ? Where at ? "
I flicked my bic, " It's been awhile, but I spent about 7 years, on with the Village Of Idiots. It's a small suburb of Fort Worth..."
Sherry blew smoke, " I know where that's at. Why did you quit being a cop ? "
I lit my handrolled Bugal, " I was burned out. You know, I always told myself, that when the time came that it wasn't fun anymore, that I'd quit and go do something different. "
Sherry cracked her window, " I have to do that to keep the windows from fogging up. My boss sold me this piece of crap, because my other car quit on me. I only had two payments left and sure didn't plan on buying ... "
I jumped in, " THAT'S THE WAY IT ALWAYS IS ! I SWEAR ! You try to get ahead and every time you turn around it's always something. Oh, that's our exit coming up. Take 20, Westbound and ... "
Sherry flipped on the signal, " I know where the J is, I lived in Dallas all my life. Now, I hope you understand. I'd take you all the way, but this is out of my way and these roads are ..."
I agreed, " No ! I appreciate you doing this and I can get a ride from here "
So, Sherry parked in front of the greasy spoon and began digging in her purse.
She pulled it out, " I didn't make much in tips tonight, but this should buy us breakfast. Are you hung gray ? "
I lied, " No ! I'm okay, but a cup of coffee sounds good. "
So, we sashayed pranced. Yes, Sherry was a prancer. Now, she wasn't ugly and had a pretty face. You know, she was just built funny. Like, her body didn't fit the rest of her. You know, her arms, legs, and head were normal, but her trunk was like a mighy oak. No ! No double chins, or flabby arms, just a really big midsection. You'd of thought she was pregnant with tripplets, but it was just the way she was built. Of course, that's not the only fault that I could find. She was way too out going for me. You know, loud, in your face, always wanting to be noticed, had a horse laugh and never knew when to shut the hell up. Sure, go ahead and knock the poor woman. Hell, we all know the truth. She was old enough to our sister and that's all it was. You always want the young gals. Well, you might as well wise up. We weren't no spring rooster ourselves. Yep, and getting older everyday. WOULD YA"LL SHUT UP ! I'm trying to write here and .. What's that ? The computer is clicking. Quick, hit submit reply and we can come back later, as Life Goes On.
Nightie night Snazzers, Your Snazzy1.
Creekrd got his fix and Kenmar thinks this is entertaining. What a deal, as Life Goes on.
We sat at a booth and Waitress Round Buns poured our java.
Sherry fingered the menu, " I'll have the number 4, scrambled, with extra cispy and a side order of white gravy. You'll have to order too, because I don't like eating alone. "
I nodded, " I'll have the same. Where's everybody at ? "
Buns wrote as she spoke, " It's been slow all night. I guess, it's the weather. They've shut down 20, at the Stateline and it's not suppose to clear up until tomorrow. Did you just get in ? "
I grinned, " No I just got out, ( snicker, snicker..) ".
So, Round Buns wiggled off with our orders.
Sherry had to ask, " Is that your girlfriend ? "
I lit my Bugal, " No ! I just know her from eating here. I guess, I need to try Capt Hook's number again. He'll pick me up, but I think his phone is out of order. He lives just across from me and ... "
Sherry lit a 100, " Is he the one you said, sold you that houseboat ? "
I blew smoke, " Yeah, he owns the marina and I lease a slip from him. He's really a nice old man and ... "
Sherry blew smoke, " Look, since the waitress knows you and you seem alright. Well, I'll go ahead and take you there. Now, it is just off 20 and not far from here. Right ? "
I swore, " It's right there on Joe Fool Lake and we can make it in 15 minutes. Well 25, counting the weather. I can give you a little gas money, when we get there and repay you for... "
Sherry waved her hand, " No ! That's alright ! It's on me and I'm curious to see your houseboat. "
So, we ate hardy and chatted awhile. Sherry filled in some blanks. Let's see, she only worked part time, as a bartender at night and worked days as a photographer. Well kind of, sort of. Actually she set up photo shoots at local malls. You know, like the ones you see at the discount stores. There's always some outgoing Big Mouth hustling the action. You know, family portraits, kids, glamour shots, all at a discount. Yep, Sherry worked on a commission and from what she said, it was like trucking. You know, feast or famine. Anyway, we finished our meal and she picked up the tab. The Big Road wasn't too slick, but the lake road was covered in ice. We weren't far from the entrance, when I heard it.
Sherry had to ask, " What was that ? "
I guessed, " It sounded like a belt just came off. "
She grunted, " The steering feels strange, like it's lost it's power and look at my headlights. Crap ! "
I pointed, " That's the entrance. See if you can make it, across from where that bar is. That's Hooks joint and I'm right over there. See it ? "
So, Sherry fought the wheel and we managed to park next to my low rider. The place was dark and not a soul around. I led our way and opened the door, as she continued cussing the hunk of junk. No ! Not the River Queen, the piece of crap Thunderturd.
I flipped on the lights, " Let me turn the heat on and get a flashlight. If' it's just your belt, maybe I can .. "
The barrel raised, " FREEZE OR I'll SHOOT ! "
What a deal, nightie night, Snazzers, Your Snazzy1.
I froze in place and raised my wings, " #### Hook ! What are you doing ? "
Capt Hook lowered the barrel, " Dang Barney ! I didn't know it was you ! "
I lowered my wings, " What's up with the blaster and lurking in the dark ? "
Hook explained, " Man, I'm I glad to see you ! All hell broke out here, and where have you been ? I called TLX, your daughter Piggy, the hospitals, even the jails ! I was getting ready to report you missing. "
I came clean, " Hell, I got popped for BWI and been in the county lockup, for the last couple of weeks. "
Hook swore, " I called there and they said, no Gooses were in their custody. Whose that with you ? "
I made the introductions, " Oh, that's Sherry and this is Capt Hook. She was nice enough to give me a ride home. "
Sherry grinned, " I normally don't get a shotgun greeting. "
Hook apolgized, " I'm sorry but if you ony knew, what I've been through. #### Barney, we need to talk.
So, Hook propped the 12 gauge against the bar and took a seat. I popped three tops and leaned over the bar, as Sherry mounted the stool next to him.
Hook took a swig, " It all started Thanksgiving Day. That buddy of your's Mike the Beard. Him and his bunch showed up arond noon and were looking for you. He said, Ya'll were suppose to have a cookout and ... "
I remembered, " Yeah we were ! See, it was the night before Turkeyday that we were in your bar. We planned to get together, but that's the night I got arrested. Remember ? You dropped me off in your dingy and I pulled back onto the dock. That's when the cop busted me for..."
Hook's eyes lit up, " That's when they got you ? Hell, I didn't see a #### thing and ... "
I knew that, " No ! You'd already gone back inside and Mike, and his bunch, had left before then. "
Sherry piped in, " Are Ya'll talking, about Mike the Beard ? The president of the Brothers Motorcycle Gang ? "
I lit a 100, " No ! Mike's a biker, but he's got his own club. What was the name of it ? "
Hook dropped his bomb, " That's what started the whole thing ! Now, here's the deal ! Beard and his pack were saying, that they were getting ready to join up with... "
Sherry was in the know, " They call it repatching. It's when one club sheds it's old colors and repatchs wearing another clubs patch. Mike told me all about it and they did join the Brothers. It was about a week ago and they made Mike the acting President. "
I blew smoke, " I can't believe this ! Ya'll are saying, that Mike the Beard is acting President, of the Brothers Motorcycle Gang ! Man ! I'll have to talk to him and set him straight. He knows, that when I was a cop we busted them and that half of that gang would like to ... "
Hook gave me the look, " Well, what happend was a couple of Ghost Riders ? You know, they were wearing Casper the Ghost on their backs and heard Mike talking. They all got into it and I tried to settle things down. Anyway, the Ghost Guys left, but came back right at closing time. Hell, they had a big gang fight right inside my place. I called the law and Mike's bunch got away, but a couple of the Ghost weren't so lucky. The cops took them in and that's when they blamed me. Hell, they started calling and making threats. The next night my window got shot out and their still after me. That's why I've been held up here and had my number changed. #### Barney ! What am I going to do ? Those Idiots play for keeps and I'm afraid to open back up. "
Sherry unscrewed the top, " What is this ? "
I snached it back, " That's a urn with the remains of somebody close to me. I don't mean to be rude, but I wish you'd asked me before... "
Sherry got huffy, " Well, excuse me ! It was just sitting here and how was I to know, what it was ! Anyway, I need to get moving. You think, you can get my car going ? "
I made the offer, " Look ! You can drive my lowrider and I'll fix your car tomorrow. We can meet up and I'll drop it off. "
Sherry agreed, " I have to work the club tonight, so you can drop it off there. How much do you think it's going to cost ? "
I patted her shoulder, " It'll be on me and thanks again for dropping me off. "
So, I went out and got her ready to roll. You know, scrapped off the ice and got her all warmed up. No ! Not Sherry, the lowrider. Anyway, she left out and I assured Capt Hook that he was safe with me. Yep, he could bed down there and we'd get things straightend out, or my name isn't Barney Goose. What a Deal, as Life Goes On.
Nightie night Snazzers, your Snazzy1.Last edited: Jun 9, 2009
Big Duker Thanks this.
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