Hi, I'm Snazzy and I'm Trucker

Discussion in 'The Welcome Wagon' started by Snazzy, Aug 3, 2007.

  1. Ken

    Ken Couch Commander

    Oct 29, 2006
    Keep him away from the matches, Barney. He might just burn the place down.. :biggrin_2552:
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  3. Colorado-K

    Colorado-K Bobtail Member

    Jun 13, 2009
    Denver, CO.
    I hear Duct tape works for a variety of applications! It'll keep the lil booger from biting.:biggrin_255: ---CK---
  4. Snazzy1

    Snazzy1 The Storyteller

    Aug 21, 2007
    Granbury, Texas
    Kenmar is concerned about matches and Colorado-K suggest, Duck Tape. What a deal, as Life Goes On.

    Missy made the offer, " If you want me to, I'll watch him. Capt Hook and his Handyman are docking my cruiser, next to your houseboat. I guess, we'll be neighbors. That's alright, with you isn't it ? "

    I was shocked, " What happened to my old neighbor ? He's been there since I've lived here. "

    Missy smiled, " Capt Hook said, that my cabin cruiser won't fit in those smaller slips, so he had your neighbor take one of those. That's alright, isn't it ? "

    I agreed, " Yeah, that's fine with me. Now, if the kid is too much to handle, just bring him back and I'll... "

    Missy insisted, " He'll be just fine and we'll get along great. Oh, my husband had to leave town and I was wondering. I planned on having steak for dinner and wish you would join me. "

    I was caught off guard, " That's awful nice of you to offer, but I might have to take a rain check. I've got too much here to do and .... "

    Missy wouldn't take no, " I'll have it ready and on the table at 6 pm ! You can eat and be back here in half an hour. Oh, how do you like yours, well, medium, rare ? "

    So, I chose medium and watched Missy wiggle off. She had to drag the kid from hell and he was sure putting up a fuss. Anyway, at least I could get some work done and... ring, ring, ring. ''

    I answered it, " Lady Rescue, Goose speaking.... "

    Sherry was Sherry, " How's my little angel doing ? I'm still here at the hospital and we don't know anything yet. My son-in-law and his mother just got here and it might be a little while longer. "

    I had to ask, " How much longer ? That grandson of yours is a real pain in the ..... "

    Sherry giggled, " He is not ! Your a Hoot ! Maybe, he needs his nap. Can I speak with him ? "

    I lied, " He's taking one now and I'm really busy. "

    Sherry whispered, " I'm going to make all of this worth your while. I'll do anything you want and all you have to do is enjoy it. "

    I rolled my eyes, " No, just get back here, as soon, as you can and we'll be even. I need to go now, bye ! "

    So, I hung up and got my sparkplug socket and.... Vroom ! Vroom ! Yep, it was Mike and he rolled right inside.

    I pointed, " Park it over there. I've got a customer on his way to pick this up. Are you by yourself ? "

    Mike dismounted his hog, " Yeah, I just came by to see how it's going. "

    I was honest, " Your buddy Sherry dropped off her grandkid and ... "

    Mike looked scared, " Where is Orvile ? He's not here is he ? "

    I lit a 100 and pointed, " No he's with a lady that I met this morning. She's slipped next to the River Queen and ... "

    Mike shook his head, " That kid is something else ! Sherry asked me, to watch him and I won't do it ! Hell, nobody will ! There's something wrong with him and he's nothing but trouble. "

    I concurred, " Tell me about it ! That little ... Opps, let me get that. Lady Rescue, Goose speaking, Uh huh, yeah, by the public dock and ... Are you sure ? I mean, ... No ! I can boost it off, but have you checked the cable and made sure it hasn't come loose ? Uh huh, alright I'll be there shortly. ####, stupid goofey, ignorant, Idiots ! Well, do me a favor. Can you watch the shop and when that owner gets here. It's that one over there and just have him take this paperwork to Capt Hook. He'll sign it and all you have to do is help get his trailer hooked up. "

    Mike agreed, " Sure, I can do that ! When will you be back ? "

    I sashayed and mumbled, " I might not be back ! "

    So, I jetted off in Lady Rescue and let her rip. Yep, something was going to have to give. Hell, I didn't have time to take a piss and this was getting ridiculous. Anyway, the service call didn't take too long and you guessed it. Yep, it was a loose battery cable and the Idiot didn't know a sparkplug from a three toed I-rang-a-tang. Now, one thang that I didn't care for was this. You see, Joe Fool's Finest had innercity radio and Lady Rescue was contracted to do the impounding. You know, when they made an arrest we towed the victim's boat in and held it in storage. Yep, the ol' storage impound rippoff and channel 3 spoke up, " Lady Rescue ! Lady Rescue, this is dispatch. Do you copy ? "

    I cop peed, " Yeah, this is Lady Rescue, go ahead. "

    Dispatch, " Need you to make Knot's Landing and meet with the Officer. He has one in custody and is waiting for you. Copy ? "

    So, I copied and headed that direction. Now, I had dreaded getting any of those police calls and having to impound some poor soul's boat. But hey, it also gave me a little insight to ... Well, you know ! What a deal, as Life Goes On.

    Nightie night Snazzers, your Snazzy1.
    Last edited: Jul 3, 2009
  5. broncrider

    broncrider Road Train Member

    why do i get the feeling barney goose is about to be in DEEP water?
  6. Wolfie

    Wolfie Bobtail Member

    Jan 7, 2008
    Hartland, Wisconsin
    Or in a boat with no paddle!
  7. Ken

    Ken Couch Commander

    Oct 29, 2006
    Barney.. Don't do the lawyer's wife... :biggrin_2552:
  8. Snazzy1

    Snazzy1 The Storyteller

    Aug 21, 2007
    Granbury, Texas
    Bronc feels the deep water and Wolfe sees no paddle. Of course, Kenmar is concerned about the wife's Virginia. What a deal, as Life Goes On.

    The two teenagers were cuffed and stuffed in the caged unit. Officer Skinny was driving the cop cruiser, while his Sgt manned the Police Craft. Yep, it was a high-speed boat with all the bells and whistles. Skinny peeled off and didn't recognize me. His Sgt did, " Hey ! Aren't you the one we arrested a few weeks ago ? "

    I confessed, " Yeah, that was me ! "

    The Sgt, " Well, I'm surprised that you got out. They usually don't allow bail for assaulting Peace Officers ! Does Capt Hook know, that he has a convicted felon and a Cop hater working for him ? "

    I defended myself, " I'm not a convicted felon ! The only conviction I have is a Miss Doe Meaner DWI and .... "

    The Sgt, " Well that will change, soon enough ! Do you know, what to do ? "

    I nodded, " Yeah, I'll tow the boat to Hook's Marina and put it in the storage area. They can come get it, once their out and pay the ransom. What did they do anyway ? "

    The Sgt held it up, " Minors in possesion ! They had this in their ice chest and neither one, are 21 ! "

    I lit a 100, " Don't tell me ! Officer Shinny saw them launching that and decided to do a safety inspection. Then his x-ray eyes spotted their beer inside that ice chest. Man ! He's a joke and a half ! "

    The Sgt barked, " He's a good Officer and you better watch, what you say ! He can handle himself and .... "

    I spat, " Yeah, I saw him action ! He couldn't fight his way out of a wet paper bag, with a razor blade ! "

    The Sgt warned me, " Hey ! He just as assume blow your brains out than to look at you ! I'd watch my step, if I were you ! "

    So, I signed the impound sheet and towed in the kids outboard. Man ! How times had changed. Back when I was a cop, we'd poured their beer out or maybe written them a ticket. Yep, the new laws allowed for the State to suspended their drivers license for 6 months and have them on probation for a year. What a deal ! Anyway, I secured their boat in the storage area. It was a fenced in area that was located in a cove, next to the marina. That's when I noticed the boo-boo. Yep, that Sgt was so worked up about me. Well, you guessed it. Yep, he'd put their case of beer, back in the chest. What a deal ! So, I looked around for fliies on the wall and snatched it up. I mean, they sure weren't going to file a theft report and no beer, no evidence. Yep, I was doing them a favor. Anyway, I secured the gate and docked behind the shop. I could hear the loud music and a hell of a party going on. Yep, Mike the Beard and several of his Brothers were having a goodtime. Of course, I had no sooner sashayed in, when Capt Hook rushed in and laid down the law. " Barney ! I can't have this going on ! "

    I turned down the music, " Hey ! I just got back and here's that paperwork for the service call. I also did an impound and here's this, but I'd wait. That stupid Officer Skinny arrested a couple of teenagers, but something tells me they'll be released without charges. "

    Hook snatched the paperwork, " Well ! Tell your buddies they'll have to leave and you need to call this man here. He said, you promised him to have it ready today and .... "

    I blew smoke, " No, I didn't ! I told him, I'd call when the parts got here and they won't be here until tomorrow. I got his voice mail and left a message. "

    Mike stumbled up, " Who turned down the Walkman ? "

    Hook blew a gasket, " That's another thang ! Their not suppose to be wearing those jackets, with them logos ! Barney .."

    Mike jumped in, " We're not at your bar and Barney runs this shop ! So, why don't you get the hell out of here, before .... "

    I got between them, " Mike ! Captain Hook owns this shop and you did promise not wear your colors around here. Now, why don't ya'll go over to my place and you can use it . "

    So, Mike and his Motley Crew staggered towards the River Queen. They had just gotten out of ear's shot, when Capt Hook started in, " Barney, I'm not putting up with this ! You'll have to keep them out of here and I don't want to see those jackets, anywhere on my property ! "

    I gave the LOOK, " If their inside the River Queen that's my property ! Now, let me tell you something ! Mike, is Mike ! If you keep riding him, he'll .. Well, just don't do it ! "

    Hook looked hurt, " Barney, I don't know what's gotten into you. But, them guys aren't nothen, but trouble ! If you hang with em, you'll end up getting hung. I'm telling ya and mark my words ! "

    I slapped his shoulder, " No ! I know, what your saying and trust me. I've known Mike a long time and ...."

    Officer Skinny marched in, " I heard, that your looking for me ! "

    What a deal, as Life Goes On.

    Nightie night Snazzers, your Snazzy1.
  9. Ken

    Ken Couch Commander

    Oct 29, 2006
    Maybe it's time to introduce Officer Skinny to Mike. That would take care of two problems for the price of one.. :biggrin_255:
  10. rikdev50s

    rikdev50s Medium Load Member

    Aug 12, 2008
    Greer, SC
    I'm with Kenmar on this one....
  11. Snazzy1

    Snazzy1 The Storyteller

    Aug 21, 2007
    Granbury, Texas
    Kenmar suggest that Mike handle Skinny and Rikdev agrees. What a Deal, as Life Goes On.

    I gave the LOOK, " Who told you that ? "

    Skinny was looking for it, " That's my business and none of your's. "

    I rolled my eyes, " LOOK ! I don't know, what your problem is and as far, as me looking for ya. Well, someone fed you a line of crap ! "

    Skinny was begging for it, " Well, I'm here and if your feeling froggy, jump ! "

    I pointed, " You better get your scrony butt out of here, before I call your chief and .... "

    Skinny dared me, " Go ahead and call him ! I'm here investigating terroristic threats, that you made against me ! "

    I snickered, " What the hell are you taliking about ? "

    Skinny educated me, " Anytime you threaten a public servant, such as myself, who is in performance of his duties. That's a terroristic threat, which is a felony ! "

    I educated Skinny, " Well, where's your warrant at and who signed it ? You can't arrest anyone, on hear say and bull crap ! Now, either arrest me or get the hell out of here ! "

    Skinny fingered my chest, " I figured, that your all talk ! Now, this is your only warning ! If you, as much as sneeze or give me any reason ! Well, I know how to deal with scum like you ! You got that ? "

    Missy wiggled in and was frantic, " Oh good ! You already called them and I can't find him anywhere. "

    I did my owl impression, " Who ? "

    Missy pointed, " Orvile was watching tv and fell asleep on the couch. While I was doing my hair, he must of unlocked the door and taken off. No one at the bar, or over at your place has seen him. "

    Officer Skinny wasn't interested, " You'll need to call dispatch and make a missing person report. I need to get something out of that boat that was impounded. Mr Hook, can you open up your storage area ? "

    So, Capt Hook led the way, as Skinny followed him out.

    Missy teared up, " This is awful and I can't believe he did this. What are we going to do ? "

    I hugged her shoulder, " Don't get too upset, he's around here somewhere and we'll find him. I guess, we need to check your place first. I bet, he's hiding and having a good ole time. "

    So, Missy wiggled and I sashayed over to her cruiser. Yep, we tore the place apart and yelled our heads off. Nope ! No Orvile, nor any signs of him. Well, just as I was going to check with Mike...

    Ring, ring, " Lady Rescue, Gooose speaking..."

    Sherry was all up beat, " It's a boy and everything went just fine ! I'll be able to see her and him, in a few minutes. How's my Angel doing ? "

    I lied, " He's with Mike, over at my place and I'm still at the shop. When do you think, you'll be here ? "

    Sherry sounded puzzled, " Mike has him ? I asked, Mike to watch him and he flat refused ! Oh, I should be there in about an hour. We can go out and it's my treat. How does Mexican Food sound ? "

    I played along, " That sounds good, I'll see you later, bye ! "

    So, all I needed was to find the little Angel and do it in hurry. What a deal, as Life Goes On.

    Nightie night Snazzers, your Snazzy1.
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