Hi, I'm Snazzy and I'm Trucker

It was late afternoon by the time I left the City of Idiots. I'd packed an over night bag and Mrs Black had given me a $ 100 draw for the fuel and road expenses. She's also given me some much needed advice. I was able to use the low side of the transmission which sure beat taking off in 5th gear. I still had to float the gears because when I used the clutch I would grind them. My logbook was legal, the load of cars were secure, and the truck was ICC approved. Yep, life was good. I drove around the IH State Loop and headed East on IH 20. It was a beautiful fall day and turning into a cool evening. I guess I was a little better prepared for this trip, I'd adjusted my mirrors and airseat before leaving. I still felt ackward sitting so high up and still couldn't believe how long this rig was. It sure was alot different than that V.W. I drove. I had the C.B. on and now, thanks to Mrs Black I knew that the term parkinglot meant me. I had been on the road about an hour and had made it thru Dallas. That had been a big concern to me due to the traffic there. I was pleasantly surprised that it wasn't too bad.

I decided to stop and fuel in Longview,Tx, my biggest fear was having to wrestle this beast in a tight area. I spotted the sign that said something like Gipp Riffens next exit. So, I slowed a bit and watched for it. Sure enough there she was, so I flipped on my singal and gingerly cut the wheel. The exit was onto a service road and a short distance from the truckstop. I lightly applied the airbrakes and slowed. Of course I had shifted into neutral and now I couldn't catch a gear to save my life. The driver behind me gave some much needed advice. It was something about me parking the rig and try walking. I didn't answer him on the C.B., I was too busy grinding up another pound of gears. Finally I just came to a complete stop and found 1st gear. I slowly released the clutch and steered the beast between the pumps. The place was nicely lit up and alot of activity going on.

I placed her in back in neutral and popped the parking knop. PHSSSSST ! Yep, she farted a loud one and I grinned. I saw that the attendant was busy wipping the windshield on the next truck over. He had one of them spongey deals on a stick and was doing a good job. I began to wonder if I was suppose to tip him ? You know, if he does my windshield and all. I bet them guys didn't make much per hour. Maybe minimum wage or a little more. I flipped on the dome light and made a mark in my logbook. Lets see, from driving, to on duty, and then I'll show back driving. Man, there's alot to remember. I glanced over and noticed the fuel prices. Let's see at 88 cents per gallon, and Mrs Black said to put $ 50.00 in, that comes to ?

I noticed the attendant was finished wipping and was now topping off the tank. So, I climbed out of the rig and greeted him.

"Say, how's it going ! I guess go ahead and give me $ 50.00 dollars worth of Ethal. She should hold that much and if you want to catch the windshield, go ahead. I'll go inside and pay for it. " The attedant smiled at me and I marched inside. I had remembered to carry my bingo card in and placed it on the fuel desk.

The old fella never looked up and asked me, " Who ya with ?
I answered, " I'm by myself.
Old Fella, " That's a good one, ha ha. So, who you with ?
I answered, No one, really ! It's just me !
Old Fella, " Well, who do you drive for ?
I thought a second, " Well, Mr Black is my boss, but Mrs Black signs the checks. "
Old Fella, " Is that you on pump three ? "
I looked out, " Yep, the white International with the bat on the door ".
Old Fella, " So, it's BAT, Auto Transport ?
I shook my head, " Nope, but that's close. It's Black's Auto Transport or Blackie's Auto Transport. "
Old Fella, " Okay ! So, what's the truck number ?
I scratched my head, " I guess pump number 3 ?
Old Madder than hell Fella, " Look, I don't have time for this ! If you want fuel I'll need your truck number, license plate number, and how your going to pay ! "
I stepped back, " Alright, I'll be right back. "

I walked over and wrote the license plate number down and noticed a number # 12 on the front bumper. I figured maybe that's what he meant. I then noticed the attendant hadn't even started on my truck. There was another attendant there wipping a differnt truck's windshield.

So, I hollowerd over to him, " If you can go ahead put $ 50.00 dollars of premium in and don't worry about the windows."

He didn't answer me, just gave me a funny look. So, I trot back in and gave ole grumpy his numbers. I threw the $ 50.00 dollars on the fuel desk and I pickuped my bingo card. He handed me a reciept and I decide to make a pit stop. So, I go to the little boy's room and do # 1 and wash up. I was a little put out about the service around here. Geez ! So, I go back out and the attendant is still busy checking the oil on the other truck. I was geting a little upset. So, I go back inside.

I tried not to sound angry, " Excuse me ! I just paid you $ 50.00 dollars on pump # 3. Remember ! BAT, Blackie's Auto Transport ! Anyway your attendant out there never pumped a drop in ! I've got to be in Shreveport in the morning to deliver them cars. You think I can some service ? "

Ole Grumpy jumped up off his stoole, " I've had enough of you ! Now, either pump your fuel or I'll give you back your money ! "

I lost my cool, " Well, just give me a refund ! This is silly ! I can't believe ya'll treat customers this way ! "

Some other drivers near the fuel desk walked up. I guess, I had been a little loud. After a few minutes and some explaining. I appoligized. Heck, I didn't know it was self service and them attendants were actually truck drivers. Give me a break ! So, after I finished fueling and wipping my windshield, I headed out. The drivers laughter almost drowned out my grinding gears as I left.

Good night Snazzy1. P.s> Raindancer, Mrs Black was 65 years old....

 

Snazzy1,

The only way I could be enjoying your story more, ....
is if I were twins.

Please, proceed to continue.

 

Howdy, back at you Big Duker. Yep we're practically neighbors. I'm on the Tolar end of Granbury. I don't chase them little white balls around but I have been to Willow Park and watched them horses chase each other around the track. Good to see you here. Hey, AfterShock, glad you joined us too. Say gang, some new folks here. We'll need to get some more chairs. So, go ahead and make yourselves at home, as Life Goes On.

I made it to Shreveport around 10 pm, I'd made the 240 mile trip in a little over 5 hours. I kept my eyes peeled and kept reading over the directions that Mrs Black had written. Yep, a left here and two blocks over there, and then there it was. Yep, a big white gravel lot with 1,000 cars parked all over. I swung in and stopped, Psssh ! I just love that sound. Anyway, I knew that this car brooker wouldn't accept deliveries untill after 7 am. So, I decided to go ahead and unload. Yep, I'd have them all off and waiting for the guy. I was happy that the lot was well lit and I had plenty of room. I put on my work gloves and slid out the car ramps. Man, they were heavy. I couldn't lift them but could drag one end at a time. So, I drug each one the space needed to latch on the trailer. I was sweating like a pig in the 65 degree coolness. So far so good ! I pulled out my cheat sheet that Mrs Black had given me. Yep, I jumped in and cranked her up. The smoke stacks sang as I set the powertrain drive in gear. I set the throttle idle up and walked to the rear. Let's see, I'll go ahead and unload the bottem deck first. I unchained the lower four cars and slowly backed them off. The ramps were narrow and I had to back slowly. Each car made it off safely and parked them a distance away. I sure didn't want any damages. So far so Good !

The top deck looked 50 feet high but I knew them cars had to come off. I pulled the safety pins from the lift-rail on rear. So far so good ! I reread my notes. Yep, second lever push down and watch as it lowers. SFSG ! This old trailer was the ancient cable type. Yep, the PTO worked a hydrolic pump, that spun a cable spool, that raised or lowerd the top deck. What a deal ! I had hay trying to hand lift the ramps high enough. Yep, they had to latch onto the top deck. I slowly picked up one end and raised it over my head, as I hooked the ramp to the top deck. It took all the strength I could mustard. I grunted like a buffalo in heat and did my Charles Atlas impression. Yep, it was a heck of a fight but I managed to get one of the ramps hooked on. I sat down for a breather and caught my breath. I'd sweated so much my shirt stuck to me. I took a coke break and wiped my brow.

Round two was almost a draw. That dang ramp fought me every inch of the way. Matter of fact it actually had me down at one point and had me pend to the ground. I was too pooped to do a victory dance and was barely able to climb ontop the trailer. I squeezed into the rear car and cranked her up. SFSG ! I released the emergency brake and put her in reverse, as I stuck my head out the window. Nope ! She didn't budge an inch. I rechecked the emergency brake and made sure I was in the 'R' posistion. Nope ! Not an inch. Crap ! So, I reset everything and climbed back out. I slid under the car to check if maybe the emerency brake cable had failed to release. I then noticed my problem. Yep, I'd forgotten to unchain her from the trailer. Crap ! So, I unchained all the top cars and took another coke break. It was then that the rain fell. Well, not rain, like wet. It was hail the size of golf balls and coming down hard. Now, I wasn't going to have any hail damage on my watch. No Sir ! I pulled the top cars off and parked each one inside a coin operated carwash. It was just across the street and I ran like a gazlie, to and from each car. Yep, ole Barney had saved the day. I was soaked head to toe and shivering from the cold front that had swept in.

I went to the cab and dried off with my bath towel. I put on dry clothes and realized it was almost 4 am. Yep, it had taken me longer to unload, than it did to drive here. Geez ! Anyway, I decided to finish the job. The storm had passed, so I shuttled the cars back into the lot. I lined them up all neat and checked for any hail damage. I didn't find any and was happy for that. I then got the hard job over and fought the heavy ramps back into thier proper place. I then secured all my chains and binders and waited for the owner. It was a little after 6 am when the Cajun arrived. He pulled up in a pink Rolls Royce and was dressed like a New York pimp.

I trotted over with my paper work, " Howdy ! I got your cars here and man, that was some storm ! Anyway, if you want to sign for em', I'll let you. "

The Cajun looked puzzled, " Leeetee meeee seeeee dat ! Nah ! Deeeesssee doooonts coooomme heeere ! Yuuuussse neeeeeedsss dah odddeeer lot ! It's Baaaaaack teeeee oddddeerr side of theeee freeeeeeeeewaaaay ! "

So, I pulled out my gun and shot the Cajun dead, before turning the gun on myself. No, I didn't. He was a pretty kool guy and signed for his cars. He even gave me his pager number so I could call him the next time. He said he'd come anytime of night to recieve them. I called Mrs Black and she had four cars at a carlot for my return trip. I managed to get her done and ended up back in Idiot City before dark. Mrs Black wouldn't let me unload at our lot. She had me leave the 4 cars loaded and sent me home. It had been a rough trip but I felt good about it. Yep, this trucking stuff wasn't a cake walk but it sure was challenging.

Lets Break Friends, Snazzy1.

 

I came home to an empity house as usual. My wife and I weren't even speaking. She was never home and always out with her cheerleading snobs. I got to where I was eating out alone and closing down the bar. What a deal. I can't remember which sexy gal I ticked off but one of them had called my wife. Of course the one that called snitched about one of the other 3 that I'd been sleeping with. Now, don't get me wrong. I wasn't anything special. One of them was seperated and just wanted a shoulder to cry on. Well, she did enjoy the sex I hope. The other was a topless dancer that thought I was cute. We just had fun sex and fooled around. She was smart and was attending college. Don't roll your eyes ! She really was, I even went to class with her once ! The other one. Well, she was 20 years old and a single mom. She worked as a store clerk and her dad was a legend. He'd been a Fort Worth cop for 20 years. I'd met her dad way back when I had been a security guard. He was one bad son of a gun ! He'd shot and killed at least two men, in justified onduty shootings. I suspect he'd probably killed more off duty that just weren't reported. Yep, Big Bad John !

Anyway, she worked midnights alone and I would stop in for coffee to check on her. She was real cute and we laughed alot. She had a boyfriend that had gotten busted for drugs. Yep, he was worthless and she was confused. Anyway it started innocent enough. My wife and I had seperated for a few weeks. Something about I cared more about my job than my family. What had happended was when I was undercover. My oldest girl was being honored at school for something. Anyway, I wasn't able to attend and so I was the worse husband/father in the universe. This was at the same time ole wifey had maxed out our credit cards and dang near put us in bankruptcy. So, I was alone and well lonely. Anyway, I had stopped in the store and this young sweet sexy gal was crying about her boyfriend being busted. So, she wanted to take her daughter to the zoo. I needed to get my mind off things. So, we went to the zoo and then we dropped the kid off. I'd never had sex as good as that. Ever ! Not even since ! I mean, I guess we were made for each other. There's nothing like having sex the way we did it. We kind of got into posistions that I can't explain. I can't even draw pictures of it. Somehow I was ontop and my legs were wrapped around her butt, but some feet were in my face. I'm not sure who's feet they were.

Well, you get the idea. So, when my wife came home after disappearing for a month. I kept seeing Sexy Thang. I honestly believe that all those young girls wanted a married man. See, a married guy can't get jealous or the gal can threaten to call his wife. A married guy won't show up at 3 am drunk and forcing his way in. A married guy is easy to dump. Another thing on my side was my age. I was 35 and the girls looked to me as father figure. Yep, I was the sex they craved to have with thier dear old dad. Well, just a thought. I guess it could of been my eyes. Yep, ole green eyes that turn blue and have magical powers. Now, I've been told that. I can't see that well so I'll just take thier word. One more thang, not to knock the younger guys back then. But, man they were a bunch losers. All hung up on themselves. Yep, them young reserve cops wore more jewelry than Queen Elizabeth.

Anyway, I came home and decided to call Sexy Thang. We met up later and went to her lake home. The next morning I was riding my chopper home and decided something had to give. I was misrable, stuck in a job I hated, my marriage was on thin ice, I was drinking way too much, and I wanted a change. Just something to do different. Kind of get away from it all. You know how that is.

Lets break here Snaze folks, your Snazzy1.

 

When I got home I searched the Sunday paper for the want adds. I'd seen an add that advertised something about a job seminar for professional drivers. Yep, it was being held in Dallas, Tx the next day. I decided to attend and early the next morning headed out. It was at a major Hotel and being held in their Welcome Room. All of the major outfits were represented and it was some dog and pony show. You know, white table clothes and all kinds of handouts. All of the big boys hawked their recruitment offers and swore they were the best. One was ole Blue Hound bus lines the others included ole J.b., the Orange Guys, March Flower, Ben's Kin's, you know all the top companies. I ruled out the bus line because of their pay. Heck, I made more as a flatfoot cop. J.B. sounded good, they had just started a training school in Kentucky. You'd attend their school for a couple of weeks and the go out with a trainer for a few weeks. The pay wasn't that bad but all the older driver's I talked with bad mouthed them something awful. It seems that outfit had been cutting rates and using Idiots for drivers. Hmmm, figured I'd fit right in.

Another company was one of the largest moving van outfits. Their program sounded great. You'd pay them around $1,500 dollars, they'd put you thru a driving school, and then you'd be assigned to one of their owner operators for a couple of months. If you wanted to become an O/O they'd sale you a used tractor and guarntee you a 3 year contract. I spoke with all the recruiters and decided to take all the paperwork home. What to do ? What to do ? Well, I decided to investigate a little. I didn't want to make any hasty decisions, this was a big step for me.

My wife and I were starting to get along a little better. She didn't know about Sexy Thang and I didn't tell her. Well, every Sunday that I was able, I'd drive the family to a Petro Truckstop in Weatherford,Tx. They had the best chickenfried steak in the world. I'd pretend to be a driver and we'd sit back in the driver's only section. All the drivers were very friendly and very happy to share thier space. I'd take my paperwork and discuss my options with them. Most became angry at the bare mention of J.B., that alone is why I threw their application in the trash. The moving van deal didn't sound too bad but most of drivers told me that no school could teach you how to become a driver. Yep, either you could or you couldn't drive a big rig. No schooling, book worm, test giving, paper pusher, could make you a driver !
It was in your blood or it wasn't ! So, I decided to hold off. Yep, I had my little part time driving job with Blackie and I figured just to gain more experience. Yep, I'd just grin and bare it. Heck, no sense in rushing into anything, just bide my time and do what was best.

Let's break, Snazzy1.

 

The biggest reason I hesitated into changing from cop to full time trucker was the economy. It was called black Monday, when on October 19,1987, the stockmarket plunged almost 25 %. Yep, diesel went from 85 cents to $1.03 per gallon. Most major companies were laying off and shipping our jobs over seas. The urban areas looked like bombed out cities, even schools were closing due to lack of money. Military bases were closing, unemployment soared, and I was depressed. Yep, ole Trickle Down let the golden rain fall on all of the working class. Now, for some reason Texas didn't get hit as bad as many of the other states. I guess because our economy was so diverse and we weren't as dependant on major corporations. Texas had always been a work at will state. That meant that unions never got much of a foot hold. A company could hire and fire at will and if you wanted to strike. Well, go ahead they'd just replace you. Of course the major companies that were union just layed off folks left and right. Auto workers, airlines, heavy equipment operators, and all the good paying jobs were disappearing. Yep, it was bleak and I figured it had to get better.

So, I caught a break sort of. Chief E.T. had gotten a grant for a traffic division. STEP, stood for State Traffic Enforcement Program. Yep, if the City of Idiots formed a traffic division it would get a bunch state money to pay for it. I met with the Chief and then went to the local Killasockee dealer. I traded in my chopper and rode off on a new Police motorcycle. The best part was my schedule. See, I was able to work three, twelve hour shifts, and have four days off. I'd work my eight hour patrol shift and then hop on my bike for four hours. Yep, the city paid me time and a half, for all hours spent on the bike. So, I had plenty of time off to work for Blackie. Now, I know some of you are wondering why I bought a foreign made bike ? It was just this simple, No one, not one lender, would loan me a nickel on an american made bike. What a deal ! Anyway, Blackie was happy that I could do more hauls. I was happy because I could use the extra money and enjoyed learning a new trade. The Chief was happy that the city got extra revenue from all those tickets written. Oh, the city did paid for all the epuipment such as the radio, radar, boots, jacket, gas, and also furnished the insurance.

The only problem I had was, I hated writting tickets. Yep, some poor slob at the end of the month had to pay for those darn things. So, I wrote alot of expired tags, expired inspection stickers, expired DL's, defective equipment, and such. They were non moving violations and the fines were less. I still didn't like writting tickets but it was my job. Sorry folks. Anyway, Mrs Black had me on a dedicated account from the Fort Worth auto auction, to the Houston auto auction. I'd load up seven or eight cars and then head to Houston. Then I'd make my deliveries and make the Houston auction for my backhaul. Yep, pretty simple and it paid good. I got 20 cents per hub mile, plus $ 5 for every car that I chained down, and $ 5 that I unchained. So, I averaged about $ 140 down there and $ 140 back. The best part was there was a days difference betweeen the auctions. So, Blackie had a hotshot rig that was a GMC with a tilt bed. This rig pulled a single deck flatbed that would haul 3 to 4 cars, depending on their size, plus one on the bed. So, I'd make the Fort Worth auction and load the big rig up. I'd park it and drive the hotshot rig for local runs. It paid me a commission of 33 % of what the truck earned. So, for four days work I'd bring home about $ 600.00. What a deal !

Blackie also had other interest. He owned two used carlots that his stepson ran. He also owned several rent homes, a trailer company, a rodeo, and a few other money making ventures. Even a bar ! Yep, ole Blackie liked his hard liquor and soft women. He was 67 years old, stood 6' 6", weighed about 200 lbs, and was tough old bird. He liked to fight and wasn't bad at it. He looked alot like an older John Wayne. Blackie loved to drive his Peterbuilt 379 it was brand new and had all the bells and whistles. Yep, a V-8 cat, 18 speed, dual stacked, condo sleeper, long nosed, trucker's wet dream. He'd buy himself a new one everytime the clocked turned 400,000 miles. Yep, he could afford to because he was true independant trucker. He had his own ICC license and Mrs Black was a licensed brooker. Yep, they racked it in. Blackie only ran dedicated to California and not on the cheap. He had a heck of a deal. Not a car on his trailer ever paid less that $1,000 per run. Yep, he only hauled for the elite and they paid dearly. Sports stars, actors, politicians, doctors, lawyers, and even highend auto dealers. Yep, Mercedes, BMWs. Rolls, and such. Of course that was just Blackie's special thang. The other drivers, like myself, just hauled regular cars. I was happy anyway. I figured that untill I knew what I was doing, I didn't want the highend hauls.

Let's break here Snazzers, The Snazzy1.

 

It was early November 1987 and maybe the third run I made to Houston. I'd made the Fort Worth auction and got loaded up. I then parked the big rig and hot shotted a few cars around locally. I decided to go ahead and leave out around midnight, so I'd hit the Houston auction around 5 am. They were open 24 hours and loading and unloading was never a problem. Now, I did carry my .357 with me on all of my Texas runs. After all, I was a fully state licensed peace officer. I was certain that no bear would charge a cop with unlawfully carrying a weapon. Plus, I was a little concerned. Yep, there had been some death threats made. Some of the drug dealers and all the outlaw bikers wanted a piece of me. I didn't worry to much on duty but out on the open road I was an open target. So, I did my pretrip inspection, loaded up my gear, placed the .357 in it's hidding spot and headed out. I was still a lousy driver and I knew it. Oh, I could swing the rig around and hold her in my lane. But, I couldn't even backup or shift without floating the gears. So, what I lacked in skill, I tried to make up with extra caution.

It was a miserable night as far as the weather went. An early cold front had swept in a light rain and it turned to sleet. Nothing was sticking but the old wipers kept tapping out thier beat. I was happy the South bound chicken coop was advertising closed. I made good time and even had a good rock station blasting out, ' House of the Rising Sun ' I sang along a little off key. My thermos provided me another cup of go-juice and life was good. I wasn't too far from making into Houston and decided to make a quick pit stop. I had filled ole BAt Woman up before leaving Fort Worth so her tanks were plenty full. I just wanted to stop and do # 1 and a quick walk around. You know, check over the rig and take a look at the cars. I was pretty sure everthing was fine but best to be safe than sorry. There was a rest area just ahead and it had the potty picture that I was looking for. So, I flipped on the turn signals and swung off IH 45. The rest area was kind of hidden off to itself. You really couldn't see it from the freeway and it was dark. I was little surprised that no one was there. Not a single rig or car. I just figured that most the truckers would have just driven the few extra miles into the big city. As far as the 4 wheelers, heck I bet there weren't a dozen on the road. Yep, just a real quiet dark night.

I parked next to the curb across from the restrooms. The rest area had like a long narrow drive, that semi circled from the entrance to the exit. The 4 wheelers ( if there had been any ) had a few lined parking spots facing the restrooms. I shutoff my head lights but left the parking lights on. I flipped on the dome light and made a line from driving to on duty. Yep, them bears would read about my extra non required inspection, if they got to read my lies. So, Phssssssst, love that sound. I had a bit of a problem. See, I wasn't sure to leave my gun in Bat Woman or take her with me. Hmmm, well if I leave the pistol someone could swing in and steal her. But, if I take her with me she's a bit hard to conceal. Yep, I didn't have my holster and I hated sticking that 4 inch stainless in my belt. Heck I might shoot my dingdong off. Hmmmmmmm, well, don't just sit here my bladder screamed. So, off I went without my piece. I decided the walk around inspection could wait upon my return. I did glance over my shoulder and admire what a pretty sight. Yep, that ole cabover and 48' trailer all lit up looked nice. Her stacks bellowed out that deep throated tune even just ideling. Yep, life was good !

I entered into the cinder blocked shell that was painted grey. No roof just a long white troft for # 1 and the metal stalls containing the sit down stools for # 2. At out of habbit I stepped into one of the empity stalls. Cops are trained to never stand in public to wee-wee. Yep, getting caught off guard with your favorite toy is a no no. It was just out of habbit because there wasn't a soul around for probably 20 miles. I was doing the shakey part when I heard someone approach. I zipped up and turned to exit.

Yep, Bad News faced me, " What's up man ? "

Bad News was standing not 10' feet from me and I could see his partner Look Out, hovering by the entrance. I had to think quick so I turned back towards the rear stall, " Okay, Jack I'll see back at the truck ! "

I didn't pretend to walk towards the sink. I kept a steady pace walking right towards Bad News. Ole Bad News wasn't as dumb as he looked. He knelt down and glanced under the metal stall. I guess he didn't see my invisible friends legs.

Bad News, " Is that your truck out front ! "
I stopped about 4' feet from him and answered, " Yep, me and Jack's. I guess he's already out there waiting on me. Man. That's some weather we're having ? Guess I need get rolling before it gets any worse. "

I got maybe two steps when the knife came out. It was a good 5" incher and flashed a razor sparkle. I stepped back and reached for my piece. Of course there was no piece to reach.

Look Out , " Hey man. Hold up, someone's coming. "
Bad News, " Alright Dog, lets split !

With that, both would be robbers ran like scared rabbits. The 18 wheeler pulling in almost hit them. I sighed a big relief. Yep, two burly, tatooed, hairy armed, tobbaco chewing, wheel holding, American Truck Drivers climbed out of their rig.

I wasted no time, " Man, I'm glad to see ya'll. Those two guys were getting ready to rob me. One them had a knife and the other was the look out. They didn't even have a car. I guess they're on foot ? Geez, ya'll just saved my life !

There was a moment of silence before one of the truckers spoke, " Guess you didn't hear about the killing ? Two guys stabbed a driver across the freeway, at that other reststop. Yep, the cops are swarmed all over there. We heard about on the C.B. just as we were pulling in here. Guess we better get on there and tell them to head over here ! "

I was all worked up as I gave the State Trooper my statement. I gave her the best description I could. It turned out the other driver was still alive but had been badly beaten and stabbed. He was the one that had gotten on his C.B. to call for help. After everything calmed down the Trooper took our information and released us. My two favorite drivers, as they walked back towrds thier rig said something, like it's too bad you didn't have gun and blown their brains out. The Trooper shook her head in agreement. I just climbed back into Bat Woman. I had cars that needed delivering.

Good Night Sleep Tight. The Snazzy1.

 

Wow, wonder what would have happened if you had shot them? I feel safe in my house as in the "self-defense" situation and am still trying to decide whether or not to carry on my truck come this Spring. My main concern?: I wouldn't hesitate to draw or use my gun, I've been in that situation before so I don't have to just wonder what I'd do. I'm more concerned about the repercussions that would follow.......

What a life you've led!!

 

Yep Attitude your danged if you do and danged if you don't. Back in the 80's down here in Texas unless you were a convicted felon or say packing heat where alcohal was served. It wasn't a big deal but now it's a serious offense for just being caught with a handgun. Of course it's better to be convicted by 12 than carried by 6.

I made the Houston auction and got unloaded. One of the local dealers had a few cars to deliver there in Houston. I called Mrs Black and she approved, so I filled out the dreaded paperwork. Each car transported had a seperate sheet to fill out, to document any damages. A bill of ladding was needed to account for billing purposes and taxes. A trip sheet was needed for my pay to be approved. All fuel receipts, logbook entries, toll fees, and scale tickets had to be submitted. Yep, lucky I had worked as a cop. The paperwork wasn't that hard for me and neither were the chaining chores. Oh sure, I made some mistakes but I'm sure I was a step ahead of most new drivers. I guess looking back, the hardest part was just not having an experienced trainer with me. Yep, that old learn as you go stuff allows for alot of mistakes. But, I guess once you learn it the hardway, you don't do again. One of the things that I discovered early was that a 13' 6" tall rig won't fit under anything shorter.

I managed to load all the cars from the auction and the local Houston dealer wrote down directions for the delivery. All four cars were being dropped off at a new car dealership just across town. I jumped on the loop and drove about 20 miles. The exit was a large 4 lane, divided Hwy, that I took for about 5 miles and then came upon the car lot. I slowly swung in and circled around to the rear. I quickly got unloaded and completed my paperwork. The dealer signed off on everything, so I went inside and called Mrs Black. She had a full load booked from the Houston auction going straight back to Fort Worth. So, I beat feet back the way I'd come. I was't far down the road when I realized that my trusty clipboard was still laying on car dealer's desk. Crap ! So, I exited the loop in order to get turned around. The first intersection I came to didn't allow for left turns. The second intersection allowed for left turns but closed due to an accident being worked. So, I went straight and made a left at the next intersection. I followed that road back to the loop and followed my nose. I hadn't gone far when it dawned on me that this wasn't the loop. Crap ! Yep, I was lost ! Stuck in Houston traffic and didn't have a clue where I was. I managed to exit and spotted a deserted shopping mall. I swung in and drug out my road atlas. Well, that didn't help much. I could see on the map where I needed to be but couldn't find where I was at. Crap !

Across the street was a liquor store with some real friendly winos laying out front. So, I trotted over with my road atlas. Yep, they sure were alot of help. So, I went inside and the friendly clerk didn't speak any english. Crap ! So, I find a payphone on the corner that didn't work. Crap ! So, I decided to drive somewhere that would give me a better idea of where I was lost at ?
Crap ! So,I got back on the Frwy and headed back the way I came, I think ? Anyway, I did recognize the road that I'd been on earlier before I'd been completely lost ? So, I take that exit and drive back in that direction. Nope ! This was getting silly ! So, I see an old empity gas station and it's in a on a large corner lot. I swing in and I hear a loud crunch ! Hmmm, wonder what that was ? I looked around and didn't see a thang. So, I do spot a street sign and find on my atlas where I'm lost at ? According to it, I needed to pull out and go South for 3 blocks, then make a left for about a half mile, and go back West over the bridge and thru the woods, to Grandmothers house we go, the horse knows the way to carry the sleigh..(shut up mind !)

Anyway, I pull up and me and the metal canapy ? What the hell ! Yep, I'd managed to yank that sucker loose. Crap ! So, I end up backing up and the somewhat damaged canapy fell back in place. I slowly cut my eyes for any prosecution witnesses. Nope, none, nata, great ! So, the crime of the century was never solved. The best part is the statute of limitations have long sinced past. Of course it did make me feel a little better when I learned that the station was being demolished anyway. Plus no damage to Bat Woman or her trailer. Yep, a lesson well learned.

Let's break, Snazzy1/

 

Things rocked along for a few months. I was still an outcast on the police department and there were new shift wars going on. I stayed pretty much to myself and kept a low pofile. Frankly, I just answered my calls, worked some accidents, and wrote my required tickets. Chief E.T. and Lt Crap Pants avoided me. Yep, if I entered the room they'd actually ignore me. It ticked me off but I found it best to just do what was required and leave. I didn't want to be apart of the swat team or even a supervisor. I just wanted to be left alone. Officer Peace, the Justice of the Peace's son, got hired on with the Fort Worth P.D. I was really was happy for him. Yep, he was a good police officer and a good friend. I did feel his dad and the fact his brother was already a Fort Worth officer might of helped him. He had a going away party and he surprised me. Yep, right in front the Chief, Capt Pants, Lt Warts, Sgt Huey, Sgt Pope and the rest of the Idiots. He flat told them how to eat the cabbage, spilt the peas, and stick it. It was best farewell speech I'd ever heard. I guess I'll always remember the looks we got as Peace and I staggered out of the city hall. Yep, we both had snoot fulls and neither one of us gave a hoot ! What a deal !

Officer Cry Baby called me at home early one morning. He was frantic and needed my help. He had taken a part time job hauling Bulls with one of his past employers. Remember, he'd been a trucker before hiring on with the City of Idiots. His driving record had cleared up and he was moonlighting as a driver. So, he had a load of cows that had to be delivered in El Paso. The problem was he didn't have time to make the run solo. His partner had quit and if he didn't get some help quick. Well anyway, I agreed to help him. So, I called Mrs Black and she agreed to let me have two days off. I met Cry Baby at the truck terminal and watched as the wranglers poked butts, driving the raw hides up the shoots. Once they were loaded Cry Baby did a head count and signed for the herd. I helped do a pre-inspection and we headed out. The company truck was a newer Kenworth with the long hood, dual stacks, and more chrome than paint. She was a beauty and would of put Blackie's cabover to shame. Now don't get me wrong, I liked Bat Woman but she wasn't in the same class as this rig. Baby was a good driver and knew his trade. He jammed them gears and I was impressed. We cut it up and bad mouthed the whole Idiot City. Yep, I liked ole Cry Baby but still didn't think much of his police work. Anyway, we stopped in Weatherford, off IH 20 for lunch. I was really impressed when ole Baby backed that rig between two rigs at the Petro. Yep, he was a much, much, better driver than I was. I tried to watch what he did so as maybe improve my own skills. After stuffing our faces with chickenfried steaks, that ole Baby paid for, we headed out again.

We made it as far as Midland when ole Baby started crying about how beat he was. So, I offered to take the wheel. I had doctored up a logbook to make me look legal. I did a quick walk around and checked to make sure that Elsie wasn't one of my passengers. The first thing I noticed as I pulled from the shoulder, was what a difference all that weight made. I bet we were close to 80,000 lbs of truck, trailer, and beef. The second thing was how much power that Kenworth had. She tugged like, well, a tugboat. Yep, I was really trucking. The last thang I noticed was how them cattle were able to sway the whole rig. Yep, I figured thay must of been break-dancing back there. So, ole Cry Baby disappeared into sleeper and closed the drapes. I steered the rig down the blacktop between the white lines. Life was good !

I managed to make it about 100 miles when the red lights zoomed up. Yep, a full grown bear on the hunt. I swung to the shoulder and woke up Cry Baby. The Bear had us exit and take a look see. Yep, the rear brake, on the back tandem, of the trailer, was smoking. It seemed that the one or both of the brake shoes hadn't released properly. I wasn't sure how long this had been going on. Anyway, the Bear found out he had two cops playing trucker and gave us a break. The tooper drove off and Cry Baby thought he could nurse us on into the nearest truckstop. Well, we went maybe 15 miles and he took an exit. This exit was in the middle of nowhere and it was already gettiing dark. Cry Baby hung a left, we went under the Interstate, and continued South for about 10 miles. Baby swore that there was an old truck repair shop, that worked on trucks hidden back there. Something about he'd found out about the place years back and they even had a heavy duty wrecker. Well, the road ended. No repair shop, no heavy duty wrecker service, no one. Just West Texas plains, some stars in the sky, and the passengers mooing. Great !

I suggested we turn around and head back. Baby swung around and bam !
Yep, a blowout ! Great ! In the middle of nowhere and stranded. I got out and checked the damage. The tire was so hot it was smoking like a menthal 100. Well, Baby and I decided to let thangs cool off awhile. Yep, maybe if the brakes cooled off they'd release. Heck, we could limp in on one flat and still be okay time wise. I did mention that maybe we should get on the C.B. and try to get a service truck dispatched. Baby hung his head down and explained how his C.B. didn't work and that they usually used his partner's.
Great ! So, we sat in the truck with out thumbs up our butts. I could hear hungrey coyoties yelping for their diner at a distance. Great ! After a good two hours I took my flashlite and crawled under the trailer. I could see what was left of the burnt brake pads. I figured that I might be able to hammer some of the crude out from the wheel drums. Heck, it couldn't hurt to try. So, the only tools we had, were none. Crap ! I couldn't believe a driver would be on the road without at least a roll of duct tape and a hammer. So, I find me a rock and start bangging away at the drum. I guess that was the moo-moo cows signal to take a dump and pee-pee at the same time. Great !

I crawled out from under the trailer blinded from the bombs of greenish crap. I stunk like a turd and looked like the monster from the deep lagoon. Of course ole Cry Baby busted out laughing like a hyenna. I made it to the cab and Baby handed me a towel. I cleaned up and kooled down. Finally the brakes would release enough for the flattend tire to turn. We slowly made it back to the Interstate and by sunrise were at the truckstop garage. They got us fixed up and I took a much needed shower. We made El Paso and got unloaded. I was happy when that trip was over. It's one I'll never forget.

Let's break, Snaze folks, Your Snazzy1.