Hi, I'm Snazzy and I'm Trucker

We're around the middle of 1988 and time was flying by. Financially my wife and I were doing okay. Of course inflation,the recession, and cheerleading, took their toll. I began taking Sexy Thang with me on her days off. She'd meet me at the Fort Worth auto auction and board Bat Woman. Yep, a trucker's dream, an open road with a sexy young gal at my side. Life was good ! So, we'd leave just after the auction closed and beat feet to Houston. I'd pull in into a hidding area know just to us. Yep, I'd avoid the rest areas and truckstops. I didn't trust the rest areas and couldn't backup to save my life. Not that I hadn't practiced. Yep, I just couldn't do it. No matter how hard I tried, I'd get all twisted around. In my defense, looking back, it seems that I was always under presure to get her done. Yep, no time to dally. Get them cars loaded and head out ! I had gotten a little better floating the gears and holding her on the road. Yep, I could hold ole Sweet Thang and lay her ears back. So, things rocked along and one night Blackie invited me to his bar. I had a two week vaction coming up with the City of Idiots. I either had to take the time off or lose it.

Ole Blackie was a drinker and liked to tell his tales. He always had a big roll of bills he carried on a money clip. He'd flash that roll and talk non-stop. I later learned that Blackie was just like half the drivers out there. Now, he didn't lie, but you know some of his stories were hard to swallow. Not like me, yours truely. Heck, I'll bet Snazzy points that I've been a cop and have been known to drive down the blacktops. Anyway, I had a snoot full and Blacikie talked me into running team with him to L.A. He had a load ready and was parked behind his bar. I had just come back from a Houston run and had my nightbag in my car. So, I called the wifey, loaded up my gear, and headed out with Blackie. It was around 3 am and after closing the bar down neither one of us were in any shape to drive. Blackie didn't let that stop him and ordered me to the sleeper. Yep, he was going to get us to El Paso and then hand the reins to me. I didn't sleep to well because the condo sleeper spun like a top everytime I shut my eyes. Finally I passed out and when I woke up everything was a blur. Ole Blackie woke me up and my peepers spied that we we're at a Petro. Yep, in El Paso and it was my turn to drive. I staggered into the men's room and washed up.

My eyes were swollen and red from the night before. My mouth had that sandy sour taste that my tongue tasted. My head felt like it was going to explode and my knees were weak. What a deal ! So, I get me a cup of go juice and stagger back to Blackie's brand new Peterbuilt. It was blood red, which matched my eyes, and shinned like the sun. I crawled into the captain's chair. There more toggle switches and gauges than on a B-52. I set my coffee in the holder and searched for the round buttons. Phhsttt ! Love that sound ! So, I slipped her in gear and slowly inched forward. Sure enough, as soon as I tried for the next gear, groooweeeeeellllllllll ! Blackie was up and not happy !

Blackie barked,"What in the world are you doing ! "
I was still grinding, " Well, she won't go into gear ! "
Blackie , " Stop right here ! If you try to float them gears, it ain'y going to work ! What's wrong with you ? Are you still drunk ? Now, douple clutch and get us going ! "
I had to ask, " Double clutch ? What's that ? "
Blackie came unglued, " Man ! You Can't Drive ! How the hell do you work for me ? This truck cost me more than you make in ten years ! Get out of my truck ! I'm not going to ever let you near any of my equipment ! I must be nuts to have you as a driver ! "

I crawled out of the command seat and sat on the bottom bunk. Blackie peeled out of the Petro and headed West. I didn't want to make matters worse, so I kept my mouth shut. Blackie drove like an Indy driver on his last lap. The white stripes became a solid white line. Yep, ole Blackie was a driving fool. I felt stupid and couldn't blame him for being upset. We didn't speak for a good hundred miles, which took Blackie less than an hour to cover.

Just as we entered Arizona, Blackie jumped up and sat down in the shotgun seat. I noticed that we were still traveling about 90 mph with the cruise on. I quickly sat back in the control seat and held the wheel.

Blackie spat, " Don't even think about touching anything except that wheel ! When you see that sign that says L.A. 175 miles, you wake me up. Don't slow down and don't stop ! Just wake me up ! "

Blackie zipped the drapes shut and I could hear him cussing under his breath at me. I just held the wheel and hoped nothing else happend to tick him off. Again, I couldn't blame him, I stunk as a driver. I'd just been faking it for the last few months. Dang, I felt low as a snake in the gutter. But, Life Goes On.


Let's Break, Snazzers. Your Snazzy1.

 

I was shocked when Blackie pulled into his terminal in the City Of Angels. It was alot bigger than I expected and his wife met us there. Nope, not Mrs Black. Well, I guess she was. Yep, old man Black had two wives. This one was about about 30 years younger than the one back in Idiot City. I could tell that Blackie wasn't to happy for me finding out. I just acted like I was dumber than dirt and watched as this wife gave ole Blackie a welcome home hug. Blackie gave me the keys to my motel room across the street from the truck terminal. I made myself at home and called my wifey. She wasn't home as usual, so I called Sexy Thang and then showered and went to bed. Early the next morning Blackie called and woke me up. I met him over at the truck and we went to deliver the cars. These were all newer Corvettes that been on lease and being returned to the brooker. It was a new customer and Blackie was upset. Something about Blackie had stored the cars and the customer was refusing to pay the extra fee. So, according to Blackie he had waived the storage fees but the hauling fees were to be paid with a ceretified cashier's check. When we got to the leasing company two young brothers met us in thier front lot.

The business was right off a major highway and traffic zoomed by. Blackie and I exited the Peterbuilt. I went and pulled the ramps down and I couldn't hear what all was being said but it got pretty loud. One of the brothers was trying to hand Blackie a company check and Blackie wasn't going to accept it. The other brother decided that he was going to start unloading the cars from Blackie's trailer. I just stood there and watched the rukus. I was holding a 4" foot long cheater pipe that was used to leverage off the chains. All of the sudden Blackie swung a right fist that caught the check holding brother right under his chin. This brother was hit so hard that his Rolex watch flew off his wrist. It sailed a good 50' feet across the parkinglot. At the same time the other brother reached into his pocket. He tried to pull out a chromed semi auto .25, so I smacked him with the pipe. I was aiming for for his midsecton, but caught him on his right shin, between his knee and ankle. He started doing a funky chicken dance on one leg and dropped the gun. Well, it wasn't a gun, it was a dang cell phone. Anyway, after the chicken dance he bent over and helped his brother up. They whispered for a minute and decided to pay in cash. Yep, I knew something wasn't right when they handed Blackie several thousand dollars in cash. But hey, who was I, just a rookie truck driver trying to make a buck.

After unloading we returned to Blackie's terminal. He handed me $ 300 in crisp $100 bills. I wasn't sure if this was a bonus for smacking the chicken dancer or just hush money about the extra wife. Anyway, on the way back to Texas, Blackie forgave me for my lousy truck driving skills. Yep, I had a job but I just wasn't allowed to drive his Peterbuilt. That suited me fine, I didn't like that high dollar rig. It looked nice but it was a nightmare to drive. I preferred old Bat Woman, at least I could shift her and she got the job done.

Let's Break Snazzets. The Snazzy1.

 

I'm all caught up now and ready for the next segment.

 

hello everyone Im wildwade so people at my work call me and om new to the forum
I joined this forum cause i thought it would be nice to speek with other doing the same thing as i
i remember what got me into trucking when i was young my grandpa
lived on a farm and my uncle had a '76 pete it was coolest thing in the world along with harleys and mopar
but my father reminded me when i was younger i broght a magasine to him and show a picture to him and said i will drive this one day it was a pic of the first t-2000 sevaral years later I was driving for stevens transport doing just that then went to driving a garbage truck tryed redimix for a while but now I drive a recycle truck soon I hope to be hiting the highway a gain just a quick into
Wild wade

 

Mee too!

I'd slide down razor blades into a vat of alcohol for the bound edition.

 

While Snazzy and I have yet to negotiate in prices for his "Life Goes On" story, or as I prefer to call it, "Life Ain't Always Snazzy", I seriously doubt we'll require this much payment, AfterShock. Perhaps just some table salt poured into a paper cut.

Snazzy, homerun once again, my cyber friend. I'm in stitches here.

 

Yeah!
What Scarecrow said.

Know what I think?
I think Snazzy can become habit forming.
Not to worry though,................
Once y'all have been "Snazzed",...............
you're cured.
That's what I think.

*oh --- so what?*

Write On!

 

Well, first a big welcome to Wildwade, glad you joined us. I see ole loyal Leannamarie is here for her abuse. Now, Aftershock and Scarecrow, ya'll know that flattery is worth Snazzy points. What the heck ! Snazzy points to all ! Yep, 50 Snazzy points to all above. Now, don't pull A Duck and get arrested in Vegas. Last I heard her bail was higher than O. J.'s for trying to stuff them one armed bandits with Snazzy points. So, on with whatever ya'll decide to call this mess.

It was early 1989 and things continued to continue. So, one night as I was working patrol I got dispatched to Blackie's. It was dispatched as a signal, 63, officer needs assistance call. My mind raced, as I raced over code 2, lights flashing, but no siren. My first thought was Mrs Black had found out about Mrs Black. My second thought was Blackie was drunk and passed out in his yard. What I found was the last thing I'd ever guessed. Mrs Black # 1 was trying to help Blackie out of his sleeper. I guess Mrs Black # 2 was still in California. Anyway, old Blackie had a cast from his hip to his toes. He'd fallen off the top deck of his trailer while in L.A. That tough 60 something old goat had crawled into one of the cars he was loading and drove himself to the hospital. Then he drove himself back to his truck and finished loading. Then, he drove all the way back to Texas and just needed help getting into his house. That's what I call tough ! How he managed to double clutch and drive is beyond me. Anyway, little 5' , 67 year old Mrs Black couldn't lift 6'6" 240 lb Blackie. Yep, they were an odd couple to look at. So, I grunted and tugged, while Blackie sang 100 bottles of beer on the wall. Yep, he wasn't feeling any pain. He'd drank at least a fifth of feel good on his way back. So, I tucked him in and went back on patrol.

Blackie never missed a load. He hired a young driver to help him load and unload. I felt sorry for that young guy. Yep, Blackie did him the same as me. The kid wasn't allowed to drive and only got to listen to the tall tales. I kept my dedicated auction runs and kept Sexy Thang happy.

Lets break, Snazzy1.

 

The best and worse part of being a cop is the unknown. For every 100 hours of boredom there's a few minutes of real excitement. I had a district court case set that morning. It was one of the last drug cases pending from my undercover work. The defendant ended up pleading guilty, so I drove back to the City of Idiot's. I was driving a brand new Ford Victory that only had 126 miles on her. It was assigned to the Chief, so it was an unmarked unit, slick roofed (no lightbar). Anyway, it had grill lights, radio, siren, and the 150 mph police intercepter package. The Chief's last words to me that morning were something like if you damage my car don't come back. So, since I got out of court early I decided to stop at the drive thru, at Jack-in-the-sack. Well, I was reading the menu off the markee and listening for the clown in the box to say something. It was high noon and a clear spring day. I was wearing my 3 piece suit and trying to decide between the tacos or burger meal. I noticed that the new pickup in front of me was bouncing up and down. All of the sudden a female leaped from the passenger door and fell to the ground. It happend so quick that I had to take a double take. Yep, an older female with her hands tied behind her and her head wrapped in duct tape. The driver leaped from his seat and tried to force this lady back into his truck. Well, I had to pull up a couple of feet so I could open my door. It was too close to the speaker box. Anyway I jump out and yelled something like ....

Bam,bam,bam.. Geez, the bullets killed Jack with three shots to his plastic head. I ducked behind my driver's door as the gunman leaped back behind the wheel of his truck. He thru her in reverse and smashed backwards right into the Chief's brand new car. Then he thru it gear and smoked the tires. I saw that the lady was still laying in the grass, but appeared to be okay. I radioed in pursuit and the chase was on. The pickup was a 4 wheel drive that sat a good 3 feet taller than your average pickup. It had peeled the hood of my car back a good foot and completely destroyed the grill. We only got about a block when the gunman slammed on his brakes. It caught me off guard and I smashed right into his back bumper. Well, actually I went under the pickup and lifted the rear tires off the ground. So, our Desperado mashes on his go-pedal and the back tires spin. Yep, I'd somehow managed to shove his bed forward and my front bumper was hooked under his rear bumper. So, he throws in it 4 wheel drive and away we go. Yep, a pursuit that I coudn't end. He drug us down the state highway at speeds over 70 mph. I couldn't see anything except a bent up hood and a tailgate.

We leaped the grassy medium and drove around a road block that Sgt Huey and Sgt Pope had set up. It was one of those days the Chief had his Idiot supervisors meeting. Yep, all the Idiots, including Capt Crap Pants, Lt Warts, all the Sgts', the dog catcher, 2 motorcycle officers, 3 patrol cars, the trash truck, the volunteer fire department, a wrecker, an icecream truck, the lawyer driving an ambulance, and about 40 other surrounding police agencies joined in. The Capt. kept ordering me to break off the pursuit. DUH ! So, I sat and enjoyed the ride. We went some 30 miles and that Desporado was one heck of a driver. He tried fishing tailing me loose, knocking me loose by jumping curbs, and even going airborne over a creek bed. Nope, I hung in there. What else could I do ? So, finally a DPS State Trooper, better known as a full grown bear swings up. His partner lowers a 12 gage and BLAM ! Yep, I stuck my head out the window to see that. Anyway, smoke comes pouring out from the pickup's hood. We're now slowed to about 5 miles per hour and I have smoke cover. So, I leaped out and bam,bam,bam,bam,and bam ! I was carrying a 3" inch, snub nosed, Smith hammerless, 5 shot, .38. The Desperado slumped across the driver's seat. I was still yanking the trigger when he raised back up and threw his Saturday night semi auto .32 at me. I ducked and it landed in the street. So, I hobble back towards the Chief's car for cover and a chance to reload. I say hobble because that's when I noticed the blood coming out of my right ankle.

We'll have to break here for the night. Snaze

 

The pursuit had ended right off the State highway about 30 miles North of the Idiot City. We were right across from a fle market that had at least 200 folks that had a bird's eye view of everything. There were two reasons I had retreated when my gun had emptied. First, was my training had kicked in. Officers are trained to retreat before reloading. There's nothing worse than being an open target while trying to reload. It doesn't matter if your suspect is armed or not. Second, there were at least 5 other Officers that had open fired. I was afraid of being hit by their cross fire. Anyway, I managed to hobble back behind the Chief's car and pull out one of the two speed loaders that were in my coat pocket. As I was reloading was when I glanced down and saw the blood. My first thought was that I'd been shot. I'd heard of cases were shooting victims had been hit and didn't feel any pain for several minutes. I guess the adrenal rush from all the excitement just mask the pain for awhile. I heard several more shots and decided that I was out of the fire fight. I slumped behind the car and kept my gun gripped in my right hand. Sgt Huey risked his life and knelt beside me. He was armed with a 12 gauge and hovered over me like a protective Angel.

The gunfire stopped and ole Deperado was extracted from the pickup like a bad tooth at the dentist office. He was drug thru the bullet shattered window of the pickup. He was fighting all the way, but the 10 cops flopped him on the pavement like a steak on the grill. He was sure done alright ! I slowly untied my right shoe and pulled it off. A good half cup of blood poured out. The pain really got the best of me. I rolled in agony as Sgt Pope ran up and grasped my lower calf to stop the bleeding. He started praying in tongue and it was strange that I understood every word of it. So, the ambulances arrived and the Desperado was strapped down on a gerney and hauled away. He had a three cops sitting ontop of him and a two cop car escort all the way to the hospital. Chief E.T. and Capt Crap Pants followed my ambulance code three all the way. Sgt Pope never released his grip from my leg and continued praying for me. The Medic started an i.v. in my arm as Sgt Huey sat facing the rear doors. He still held his 12 gauge at port arms and was ever watchful for more incoming rounds. Yep, it was like the Kennedy assassination and all the troops were protecting one of their own.

I began to blackout as they rolled me into the emergency room. I could hear voices at distance and a strange beeping noise. It raced to a high pitch and then grew silent. I remember the bright light that shined thru my closed eyes and it getting very quiet and cold. That's when I died.

Snazzy1