Hi, I'm Snazzy and I'm Trucker

"A pessimist is a man who thinks all women are bad. An optimist is one who hopes they are."

... Chauncey Depew​

 

Oooohhh... I see Snazzy is still logged on. I hope that means he's busy writing another chapter.

 

Yep Joellyroll it's always darkest before you drop dead. AfterShock I do's believe that Duck's definition about covers it. Sorry Duck about the ruptured comment. Sometimes I get carried away, as Life Goes On.

I pulled into the junkyard just as Maxine's front tires caught on fire. Yep, all that viobrating, wabbling, and such had done Maxine in. I took out my trusty fire extinguisher and battled the blaze. Sexy Thang stood there being Sexy, as the Junkman approached. He was at least 70 and looked alot like the cartoon character Mr Burns.

I quickly hid the extinguisher behind my back, " Howdy there ! "

The Junkman was all business, " Well, that frontend is shot ! What is she about a 1975 model ? Don't see many of those around anymore. So, if you do the work, I'll take $600. If I have to do any labor it'll be more ! "

I started to blast the old goat, " You want me to pay you ? "

Junkman acted surprised, " Well, them parts ain't free ! "

I lowered the extinguisher, " What parts ? "

The Junkman gave me that, your nuts look, " The parts to fix her. I have a Mack just like her back on row 75. You'll need to get that axle number and make sure they're the same. Sometimes them kingpins are different. "

I had to ask, " Well, what I was thinking of, was just selling her as is. You know, how much could you give me for her, like she sits. "

The Junkman laughed, " Oh ! I get you. Nope ! I couldn't offer you much. What's she got what a million miles on her ? Nope ! By the time my shop did the repairs, I'd have too much in her in. As far, as buying her for parts ? Nope, there just ain't no big demand for them. Tell you what though, if your serious about fixing her. I'll have my boys pull that axle back there and you can watch them. Then if you know how to turn a wrench, you can bolt it on there yourself. "

I rubbed my chin. " How much are you going to charge me to pull that ? Now, let tell you something ! I was just ripped off a few weeks ago ! If your even thinking of cheating me ! I'm already wise ! So, I mean what is this going to cost me ! "

The Junkman laughed, " Partner ! I wouldn't cheat a man who has a daughter as pretty as yours ! So, if I give you a price, that's the price, and not a penny more ! Another thing ! Now, that old Mack back there doesn't have steering box. I sold it, but that ole gal drove in here and she drove good ! I'll guarantee that frontend and I'll put it in writting ! Yep, a 90 day warranty on it or your money back ! "

Sexy Thang whispered in my ear, " That doesn't sound bad. You know how to fix cars and I can help you. What do you want to do ?"

I looked at Maxine, " She's been good to me ! I guess I already have over $10,000 invested in her. Man, it sure beats going in debt and having a truck payment. I don't know ? "

Junkman insisisted, " Let me drive you back there, so ya'll can see what your getting. It's well the $600 and like I said, we'll pull it off for free ! Come on little girl let's go for a ride."

Junkman loaded us up in an electric golfcart and we headed to very rear of the junkyard. Yep, there she was ! An identical Maxine at the very end of a long line of abandoned trucks. It was errie to see so many once beautiful ladies all resting in this weed invested graveyard. Junkman had me stick my head up under her skirt. Yep, looked like an axle to me ! So, we wrote down the axle numbers and returned to my Maxine. Yep, it was a match ! So, I agreed to return early the next morning and get her done. Junkman had me park Maxine inside his shop, so she was nice and safe. I patted her on the door and blew her a kiss.Then Sexy drove us back to her house where we made love untill Elsie came home.

Let's break, your Snazzy1.

 

Finally something good is gonna happen

 

Early the next morning I called Blackie and updated him on my situation. He wasn't to happy, but hey there wasn't much else I could do. So, Sexy Thang drove us over to the junkyard. We hadn't even gotten parked when I noticed the huge diesel forklift carrying the axle towards the side of the shop. Do what ? Yep, they'd used a cutting torch, unfastend some bolts, and yanked my $600 axle out. Now they were setting it down and ready to wipe thier hands. So, I went inside the shop and Junkman had my bill waiting for me. Hold the phone !

I was polite, " Man ! What happend to me being able to watch them take that off and why did they use a torch ? "

Junkman acted shocked, " Listen Barney ! We did you a favor ! Now look here. I checked out your leaf springs and they're just fine. See this ? All you have to do is pull your truck up in front that axle. Then loosen these bolts here and knock them out. Your old axle will drop down and you can roll it out. Then see those U-bolts ? Just break them loose and those leaf springs will drop off. All you have to do then is bolt those springs onto the new axle and roll it back in place. It will all bolt up just fine and if you have a problem I'll help you. "

It was clear as mud, " Okay. So, I need to pull Maxine in front of that axle and then do what ? "

Junkman knew I was kidding, " We'll use that forklift to lift your truck and I'll let you use some jack stands. If you let your daughter come in to visit, I'll even stretch that air hose outside. You can use my air impact wrench and sockets. If you stay with it you can be done and drive her home today. "

I wasn't as confident as Junkman, but hey I was willing to try. So, I pulled Maxine outside the shop and faced her towards the still smoldering axle. Junkman's shop crew lifted her up with the forklift and the jack stands were slid in place. I used the air wrench and removed her wheels. I then unbolted the spring ends and used a sledge hammer to knock them out. One of the Junkman's crew rolled out a huge floor jack. We raised old Maxine's axle to get enough pressure off. As soon as we did that the old Axle came loose. The experienced shop hand showed me a trick. He threaded on a couple of air valves, where the air lines fasten onto the brake pancake. It allowed the brakes to release and we slapped a few lugs nuts on. Yep, we rolled that old axle out and now it was just a few inches away from the replacement axle. So, I stayed with it and unbolted those large U-bolts. Yep, those springs came loose, so I bolted on my good springs. I then took the those air valves and threaded them on. I added a little air and she rolled.

So, it started getting late and I knew that I needed to put things up. I quit there for the day and knew by this time tommrow, I'd have my Maxine back. Sexy Thang had been a true trooper and stood by me all day. We hadn't even taken a lunch break. She drove us home and fixed us up a tasty meal of porkchops, with all the works. I soaked in her tub untill I was almost white again. Life Was Good !

Good Night Snazzers, your Snazzt1.

 

Whew!! I can't even imagine how relieved you must have been! Finally someone who didn't take ya to the cleaners.

 

I beg to differ. Sexy Thang took him home and he soaked in the bathtub.
I would imagine he was cleaner when he got done.

 

LOL! I'm sure that made the rest of his day too rofl!

 

Yep Attitude and Shandera it's sure looking good. Joellyroll I'm still wrinkled from that tub soaking. What a deal, as Life Goes On.

Sexy Thang had to work, so she dropped me off and I got an early start. Let's see, okay that goes there and I've tightend that, so this will fit on there. Now, if that will pop in there ? Got it ! Yep, them ole batteries in my Walkman radio were sure hard to replace. Now I guess I'll start working on Maxine. It was a hard fight, as I pushed, pulled, and dragged that axle in place. Finally success, as I finished bolting her in Old Junkman came out and praised my work.

Junkman watched as I fired her up, " Just pop them brakes and make sure they release. I'll watch over here. Yep, you got ! Go ahead and back her up. Hold it ! That old jack was in your way. Go ahead and cut her, a little more, more. Okay, just drive her around the lot. "

I was standing behind the wheel and grunting, " Geez ! Somethings wrong !
I can't hardly turn the wheel ! "

Junkman pointed, " Go ahead and pull her in my shop ! We'll take a look see."

I swung in and parked over the pit. Junkman's head mehanic climbed down and started fingering Maxine.

The Mechanic, " It's her steering box ! I can finger her box and she's squirting out ! "

Maxine smiled and lit up a cigarette. I climbed down in the pit and took a look see. The Junkman joined us and I'm sure it was a Kodak moment, as the three stooges figured it out.

I spoke first, " So, that steering box is what's causing it ? "

The Mechanic, Yep ! See that ? I guess all that viobrating from the old axle must of shook something loose inside her. You can't rebuild those, so you'll have to get one from the Mack House. We don't have a used one ? Do we Junkman ? "

Junkman folded his arms," Nope ! The only one we had was on that Mack and I sold it a few days ago. Say, Barney where is that Sweet Thang at ? I sure miss her ! You got any pictures ? You Know ! "

I folded my arms, " No, I don't have any pictures. What is that box going to run me ? I sure wasn't expecting to pay much more than $ 600 bucks. So, can you find out ? "

Junkman rubbed his crotch, " Maybe some pictures of her in the bubble tub or changing her panties. I'd even like to see her, maybe just putting on some nylon stockings. "

The Mechanic and I climbed out of the pit, as Junkman pleasured himself. Geez what a perfert ! So, The Mechanic made a phone call and the steering box was $ 870.00, plus tax. It began to hit me ! Yep, I still needed to buy 2 new steer tires, get a frontend alignment, and what else ? So I gave up and did some math. Yep, I'd be broke, but I needed to get rolling !

I just came and out said it, " Look, I don't care what it cost ! Just get this piece of crap fixed and do it right ! Call me when your done ! Just do it ! "

I then stormed out of the shop and realized that I had no way to leave. I sat down on the curb and waited for Sexy Thang. Yep, just sat there waiting and waiting. Sitting there waiting. I sat there. Waiting.

Let's Break Snaze Folks, Your Snazzy1.

 

Balckie swung up in his Peterbuilt and pulled his knob, pssshhtt ! I had called him several days earlier and we had decided that he'd take my trailer load of muscle cars. Blackie was drunk and cussing, as I met him in front Of Sweet Thang's.

Blackie had driven over bobtail, " Here's you last settlement check ! I already went by that junkyard and took my plates off of your Mack. Let me tell you something ! You think your smart ! I've known all alone that you were a rat. Yep, a lying rat with a tale this long ! A cheese eating, back stabbing, no good rat ! A turn coat, that tries to play both sides, a low down good for nothen', a lilly livered, lizard licken, low life ! "

I watched as Blackie hooked up his trailer, " Blackie ! This settlement isn't right ! It's about $2,500 short ! I don't care if you fire me ! That's fine with me, but just remember ! You sold me that hunk of junk ! As far as me saying anything to Mrs Black, that's bull ! I haven't even talked to her ! "

Blackie reached down in his boot for his piece, as I drew mine.

Blackie spat, " You better watch your back ! If you want your money just show your face anywhere, anytime ! You don't who your dealing with ! I've killed a dozen men ! Blah, blah, blah..."

I yawned, " Okay, alright, whatever you say ! I think I'll go report in to Mrs Black. You know how she likes to hear from me. Maybe, I tell her about you stealing those ramps, tie downs, and tools. "

Blackie raced off cussing me, as I walked back inside Sweet Thangs house. She had our spaghetti dinner waiting for me.

Sweet Thang forked out my serving, " So what did he say ? "

I updated her, " Yep, he took his plates and fired me. That's okay, I don't need his crap ! That Idiot really thinks that I've been squealing to Mrs Black. Man, he's nuts ! I wish that Junkman would call about Maxine. I need to get a new lease going. "

Sexy Thang sucked up a strand, " Did Blackie pay you ? I bet Junkman is going to charge you plenty. He's had your truck for over a week now. "

I took a swig of my beer, " That's another crook ! Man, I'd been better off just cutting my losses. He's going to pad that bill and I know it ! Have you heard anything ? "

Sexy Thang took a sip of her orange crush, " He said for you to call him tomorrow. Something about those new kingpins are the wrong ones ? "

I took a bigger hit off my beer, " Stupid bunch of Morons ! No ! I'm the Idiot, for listening to those Morons ! Geez ! "

Sexy Thang wiped her lips, " So, just pay them and get it over with. Maxine should be like new and you can lease on somewhere else. "

I set my empity down, which was a signal to Sexy. " Yep, I'll just lease on with RATS. Mrs Black will be happy to have me back. I'm sure she's doing good and at least she pays you. That #2 Mrs Black shorted me every settlement. I bet she's robbing old Blackie blind and that's just fine with me.
I don't have any more bottles ? "

Sexy Thang popped the can, " I know you like the bottled beer better, but these were a dollar a six pack cheaper. I can pour this in your bottle if you want me to. "

I laughed, " No, I want you get naked, so we can fool around. How about that ? "

Sexy Thang and I did our thang, as we always did. Hot passionate, with no holds barred, down and dirty, SEX ! Life Was Good ?

Let's break, Snazzy1.