Hi, I'm Snazzy and I'm Trucker

First a big Snazzy welcome to Squirllsgnwild. Attitude and Bullhaulerswife, ya'll Know what a good judge of character I am, so what's there to worry about ? Say Big Duker glad your still around. Yep, it's the water down here and I'm sipping a cup right now, as Life Goes On.

Finally ole BB pulled out in his white Freightshaker, so I followed him back to the interstate and we set sail. We took the loop and hung a right onto I-30. Yep, we was trucking ! I had the C.B. on and gave BB a shout.

I keyed the mike, " Breaker for BB, you got your ears on ? "

BB came in loud and clear, " Is that you Barney ? Your breaking up. "

I adjusted the squelch, " How's that, any better ? "

BB came back loud and clear, " Yep Barney, just stay on my backdoor and we'll hit West Memphis before the orange ball sets. "

I should of kept my mouth shut, " Yep, good ole West Memphis, TN. Been there a plenty a time ! "

BB caught that, " West Memphis is in Arkansas ! Unless they've moved. "

I covered my tracks, " Yep, I heard TN. offered Arkansas a fair price. "

BB laughed, " Your a hoot Barney, a real hoot ! "

So, we trucked on down and made good time. I wasn't used to pulling such a top heavy load. Those trippled stacked trailers seemed to have a mind of thier own. Now, that 76 in W. Memphis was a strange duck. It's the only one that I can remember, that was bass ackwards. Yep, the entrance was the exit and exit was the entrance. What a deal ! Any new driver that went there back then always made the same mistake I did. So, when BB turned into, what I thought was the exit, I went ahead and turned into exit, that I thought was the entrance. So, I met a herd of big trucks facing me. I got a warm welcome with air horns a blasting, CB threats, and arms a waiving. So, I just continued on in the wrong way. It wasn't like I couldn't back up, but hey, I couldn't. We all know that. So, I swung wide and squeezed between two big rigs. I pulled the button, psshhhtt ! Love that sound.

I made a mark in my book and watched, as BB backed up as easy as falling off a log. Yep, he was driver alright. I sashayed over and we walked into the diner. Man, I swear that someone had taken that Fort Worth buffet and just set that table down. It was the same meal and even had the same white table cloth. So, I ordered off the menu, as BB ate the buffet. Yep, he ate the whole thang. The old waitress mistook me for an old hand that she hadn't seen in awhile. So, I played along and ole BB was impressed.

BB chomped away, " I guess you have been around Barney."

I played the part, " Yep, she's a dear ! "

So, we fed our faces and chatted awhile. It started misting a bit and the weather had turned dark. I got the meal ticket paid and we went back to our trucks. I thumbed thru my Road Atlas, but I didn't see any short cuts. But, hey BB knew his way and I bet he'll get us there in no time. Yep, so I crawled into my sleeping bag and waited for the sun to rise. Maxine was given the night off, because with the cool November weather her sleeper was just right. No heater or a.c. was needed. Life Was Good !

Let's break Snazzers, your Snazzy1.

 

Oh man, I've been too scared to laugh because I'm afraid it'll jinx me and I'll do the same thing on a one way, but I'm ROFL!!!!!!!!!!!

 

I have been in and out of this site for awhile, just checkin' it out and I finally decided to join!!!! I have been retired from the industry for many years now but oh how I wish I had never retired!!Believe me that I would enjoy nothing more than being behind the wheel again, but age and oldtimers disease (arthur & ritis) wouldn't approve of it & even the DOT...well maybe they would from what I see of drivers on the road anymore...but I won't take that chance...instead I will just enjoy the trucking forums here. I spent over 35 years out there..and,yes I miss it as a driver and and as an owner operator. So here I am on this wonderful forum and I am glad that I joined just to be part of it and possibly post once in a while (if arthur & ritis will let me...LOL)..Nice board!!

 

Okay Bull and Tude, grab your seats as Life Goes on.

Early the next morning I awoke and found my way into the mens room. I had my morning constitution and read over the latest news on the bathroom stalls. I found BB at the breakfast buffet bent over stuffing his fat face. His butt cracked smiled at me and I smiled back. I wasn't hungry, so the all I ordered was go-juice and a roll. BB rolled his wheel barrel full of buffet treats and joined me.

I spoke first, " I looked over my line bible and didn't see any short cuts. "

BB smacked, " It ain't in there ! Just follow me and it'll take us right to it. Yep, I used that a bunch and it goes right ontop of that mountain ! "

I had to ask, " What mountain ? "

BB salt and peppered, " Huntsville Mountain ! Well, you know that hill just next to her. Those new flatbeds are going to that storage area where they store them. Some leasing outfit. They rent an old plant up that use to mine limestone. Anyway, that got a crane up there that unstacks them trailers. All we do is unchain and then spot them. They'll sign for them and we'll be out there in no time. "

I stirred in some more cream, " So, we'll be there before dark ? "

BB wiped some egg off his face, " Dark ! Hell man ! We'll be there and gone in two shakes of a lambs tail. It ain't, but what ? Maybe, 400 miles and that's not shaving my 40 mile short cut off ! "

I caught that, " 40, I thought you said 80. "

BB gave me that look, " Well ! 40 there and 40 back is 80 miles saved. "

I paid our meal ticket and we headed out. BB never shut up on the C.B., so I got an ear full of BB's version of 'woe's with me'. Yep, every dispatcher and truck owner on earth were dumber than dirt. Ole BB knew best and the world wouldn't listen. Yep, he could straighten out this trucking industry and put it right. Yep, a chicken in every pot and lot lizard in every sleeper. Blah, blah, blah, and blah. "

I never got a word in, but hey, all could of added was about my Wifey's face being attacked by that wing. So, we tooled on down the big road and made our way. A few hours later BB whispered over the C.B., something about we'll take that next exit. So, we did. Yep, that was an exit alright. I noticed that the sky had darkend and a the wind had picked up. Ole BB just kept a blabbing away on his C.B., so I just followed him. We made a couple lefts, a right, another right, a left, two more rights, a u-turn, 3 lefts, and then a hard stop. Yep, we were lost.

BB looked my road Atlas, " Dang it sure ain't on here. Well, we'll just take that dirt road and it'll get us back to U.S.72. Dang ole sun was in my eyes, that's why I missed our turn. "

I looked up at the overcast sky, " Well, let's get rolling I don't like the way those clouds look. "

BB glanced up, " Hell ! Just a few showers headed in. You ain't scared of a few showers, are you ? "

We got rolling again,as that dirt road climbed higher and higher. It also became narrow and narrower. Matter of fact it got just like a roller coaster. Man, we had to be a half mile up when I saw a billy goat with a nose bleed. Yep, what a deal. So, BB was yacking away, my CB decided to shut him up. Yep, right in the middle of, how to make a fortune raising lab rats. Poof ! A spark and some smoke puffed out BB's last words. My C.B. breathed a sigh of relief and died a sudden death. Of course BB had no Idea and just kept a yacking. I could see his lips flapping away everytime we made a sharp left curve. So, I sat back and enjoyed looking down at the tiny tops of trees that looked like blades of grass.

We'll have to break Snazzers, stay tuned. Your Snazzy1.

 

Yeah... our Snazz isn't afraid of driving in those mountains! Just has to follow BB and he'll be fine... piece of cake...

​

 

DUCKS!

You've gone and reveled my short-cut.
And notice how little traffic there is.

Just don't look down.



The World's most DANGEROUS road, .......but it ain't really the "road" that'll getcha.
I'm sure Snazzy knows that, too.

 

First a big Snazzy welcome to phantomtruck, it's say's on his profile that he's 70 years young. Snazzy points will be good for Been Gay and Geritall.
Tude and the Bull are still with us and Ducks did a fine job with a picture of the actual road I was on. So, Snazzy points to all, as Life Goes On.

Ole BB or Belly Button, whatever we call him, slammed on his airbrakes and threw her in reverse. His Freightshaker dang near side swiped Maxine as he flew past me. Yep, he was backing up at 80 mph and yelling into his C.B. mike even faster. Of course I didn't catch a word of it since Maxine's C.B. had bit the dust. So, I pulled her button, psshht ! Love that sound. So, the sky had turned black and I had Maxine's eyes on bright. Yep, it was a wall cloud that began to twirl. Just an F-4 that came down on the day known as the Tornado Outbreak of 1989. I sat and let my mind voices argue it out. Yep, I could sit and die in Maxine, or try to back up and go off the mountain for sure. So, I chose door #2, which was a small cave about 20' feet in front of Maxine. I had my trusty flashlite and ran like a rabbit straight into the small entrance. The cave only went back a few feet and ended. So, I sat down and watched as the tornado got closer. Ole Maxine was dancing the cha-cha and the tripple flatbeds were doing the aligator. What a deal !

I was sitting Indian style with me knees bent inwards. It grew so dark that couldn't see as the dirt flew. So, I cheek walked backwards. You know, you tighten one butt cheek and then the other one. I cheated a little and used the palms of my hands. I got far enough back in the cave, so that wind died down. It was pitch black, as my flashlite gave up the ghost. I slapped it a few times, like that was going to recharge her batteries. Anyway, the rain came pouring down and bolts of lightening would light up the sky. For a few seconds I could see the funnel cloud making it's path of destruction. I then spotted BB crawling into the cave entrance. I called out and felt my way over towards him. It was pitch black again, as I made my way.

I took BB's arm and guided him back, " Man ! I'm glad your okay ! Geez ! That dang storm came out of no where ! Is your truck okay ? Are you alright ? "

BB didn't say anything and I was worried that maybe he was in shock.

We sat down Indian style near the back of the cave, " Hey ! BB are you sure your alright ? My flashlite went dead and I can't get my Bick lighter, to lite. When that next lightening strikes, maybe I can check you out. Where did you get that coat at ? It's soaking wet. You want me to help you take it off ? "

BB put his arm around me, but didn't utter a word.

I patted his arm and tried to calm him, " Don't worry big guy the worse is over. I don't care if Maxine and your rig took the big plunge. No sir ! As long as we're okay. Yep, I bet thier both at the bottom of that mountain and in a million pieces. But hey ! We're doing good ! "

BB hung onto my every word and hugged me a bit tight. I took his hand in mine and reassured him that things would only get better. I noticed that BB sure had B.O. and man his nails needed trimming. But, hey ! He'd been thru alot and I was happy to be there for him. That's when he made me sick ! Yep, a big old wet kiss right on my lips ! I pulled away and stood up. Ole BB wouldn't take no for an answer. He pulled me tighter and placed his hands around my bottom. That was it !

I shoved him back. " Hey listen ! BB ! I don't go that way ! Now, just sit down and I'll act like that never happend ! "

BB sat and sulked, as I felt my back towards the entrance. I was just about outside when BB met up with me. He had a flashlite that worked and he was soaking wet.

I spoke first, " If your out here who's inside ? "

BB gave me that dumber than hell look, " Who were you talking to ? I've been looking all over for you. My rig went off the mountain ! I barely got out alive, before she went. "

As we stood talking my cave guest came walking out. Yep, a 5' tall, Black Bear, that weighed a good 250 lbs. Me and BB ran for our lives. Yep, ole Maxine was right where I'd left her, so we jumped in and locked her doors. The Black Bear blew me a kiss and returned to her den. What a deal !

Good Night Snazzers, your Snazzy1.

 

​

"Come a little bit closer
You're my kind of man
So big and so strong
Come a little bit closer
I'm all alone
And the night is so long..."​

I think she luvs ya', Snazzy! ​