Hi, I'm Snazzy and I'm Trucker

ROFL!!! Good one Ducks!!

Wow, now Snazzy has to ride back with him and can't turn the CB off.

 

Yep, but maybe BB can back 'er down for him. Probably still wouldn't be worth it though.

 

I'm beginning to think that Ducks must have been there with me. She sure has the right pictures to post. So, Bull, Tude, Kane, Shock, and all the rest of you Snazzers hang on. As Life Goes On.

The dirt mountain road had turned to mud, as I slowly drove Maxine higher up the hilltop. To my amazement our search was over. Yep, the trailer storage area wasn't more than a half mile from where Miss Bear had attempted to rape me. So, BB and I were greeted by the lot manager. He exlplained that since the crane had been blown over, that I could just drop my tripple trailers in the yard. So, as I removed my chains BB attempted to call ACE Trucking. Of course all the electric and phone lines were down. So, I collected my chains and tie downs. The lot manager signed my paperwork and I headed out. Well, I couldn't just leave BB behind, so he rode shotgun. He talked nonstop all the way back to W. Memphis, Arkansas.

Our trip back was much quicker, because it turned out the trailer storage lot was right off the main road. What a deal ! The State Boys had shut down the Eastbound, but Westbound was filled with fleeing folks and Maxine.
I drove into the exit, just as the sun rose. Dang stupid truckstop ! Anyway, after my airhorn salutes, I parked Maxine between a Pumpkin and another big rig. Pssshhtt, love it ! So, BB ran full speed for the breakfast buffet and I called ACE dispatch. 'She'll be coming around....' Three hours later the phone instructed me, to inform BB that he was fired and that I was to dead head back in for a hot load ! I was surprised that BB took the news so well. Yep, he claimed that he got fired at least twice every month. So, he climbed into Maxine's sleeper as I drew some lies down in my book. Yep, we set sail back to the beginning. I hadn't driven far when a green mist filled Maxine's cab. I held my breath, because I wasn't sure if it was toxic. So, I took the exit and did my inspection. I couldn't find any leaks nor the source of that terrible odor. I rolled the windows down and held my nose. BB awoke and we tried to figure this out. BB claimed he couldn't see the mist nor smell the stink. I was driving from Maxine's running boards, when it finally hit me. Yep, it was BB's feet ! Geez ! Several magets ran from the sleeper and gagged.

Lets Break Snazzers, the Snazzy1.

 

I swung into the Ace yard and pulled the button. BB and I went into the office. Well, it was a snowcone trailer that was being used, because the main office was being added on to. So, the dispatcher handed me a sealed envelope and instructed me not to open it untill 17:00 hours. I didn't know what was up, but hey, it was a load and I was a driver. BB met me out front and was excited. He waived an envelope over his head and claimed he had just been given a top secret load.

I had to ask, " BB ? I thought they fired you ? "

BB ripped his envelope open, " It says here, BB you Fat Head ! I knew you'd open this. Just follow Barney and do what your told ! signed, Your Boss!"

I had to ask, " How are going to take a load without a truck ?"

BB puffed out his chest, " They ain't going to fire me ! I'm the best driver my boss has and he knows it ! So, that old Pete cabover is what he told me to drive. I'll get a change of clothes out of my pickup and we can head out."

I waited a few minutes for BB to return. He came back with another halter top and a pair of worn jeans.

I looked at my watch, " We still have a few hours. You want to bobtail over and grab a bite ? "

BB pulled some lint out of his belly button, " Barney I'm broke. Think you could loan me a little, till I get paid ? Just a couple of hundred untill Friday."

I pulled out my wallet, " Here ! Just make sure I get it back ! "

I led the way and we ate the buffet. Right at 17:00 I dropped the coin in. The voice at the other end of the phone asked a hundred question. You know. Name, truck number, ssn, dob, mother's maiden name, the usual top secret stuff. I had to have BB give his information. We were given an address and told to wait in our trucks by the guard shack. So, we bobtailed over and waited. Sure enough a yard mule ( a little tractor ) towed a trailer over and the guard had me hook up. BB was then told to hook up to a second trailer. The top secret agent drove up in his unmarked car. He was wearing foster grants and had on a black suit.

He handed me the locked box, " Your paperwork is in there. Don't open that untill 20:00 hours. That's when we'll open the gate and let you out. Your not to call anyone ! Your to stop only at the designated areas and no where else. Any unauthorized routes or stops will put you at risk ! We've had two shipments already hi-jacked. Don't be fool ! So far, there m.o. is to hit at the delivery point. We'll be ready for them this time ! We did a background check, Officer Barney ! The COMPANY is depending on you. Don't trust anyone and keep an eye on that Fathead. Your partner BB is the weak link, but all he knows is follow you. Go with God's speed ! "

The secret agent saluted me and then sped away. I stood there holding the locked box. BB came running up all excited.

BB had baited breath, " What is it ? They wouldn't tell me nothing ! Who was that guy ? Where are we going ? What are we hauling ? What's in that locked box ? Tell me something ! "

I lied, " It's nothing. We can't head out for awhile, so let's do our pretrips and just wait. "

BB glowed, " Good ! I brung you something Barney ! Looky here ! "

My stomach turned, " You didn't have to BB ! I'll be just fine ! "

BB held it up high, " Yep ! I'll have this C.B. hooked and humming in your Maxine in no time ! That way we can talk ! "

I sat and listened to the Idiot for 30 minutes doing his C.B. checks. It was like he didn't believe me when I answered him. So, I walked over and screamed, " 10-4 Good Buddy ! 10-4 ! "

Finally 20:00 hours arrived and I unlocked, the locked box. Well, it was metal clipboard with a thumb latch. It had a (BOL), Bill of Lading, in code, something, something, C.P.D., then our route, fueling stops, call in boxs, emergency number, and a small envelope with the pills. I walked over and told BB to stay on channel 26. We set sail headed West on the big road.

BB started right in, " Breaker 26, for the Barney ! Got her on ! Where we headed ? Must be important ! We hauling nuclear warheads ? Maybe them starwar thingies ! Come on back Barney ! "

I tried keying over him, " Keep it down, Belly Button ! Just settle down and drive. We don't need want to call any attention to ourselves. Just follow me and keep sharp ! "

I was pleased that BB took my advice. The C.B. grew quiet and my mind voices started in. Yep, two or three of them wouldn't shut up. You know.
They were having a good time. One kept on about how that agent must of been C.I.A. and we were probably hauling top secret weapons. The other one was one those conspiracy nuts. Yep, maybe the Presdent was in a make shift war room in that trailer. The third mind voice kept showing pictures of Sexy Thang in the nude. I finally had enough and tore open the secret pill package. I stuck two under my tongue and waited. Yep, the mind voices grew quiet. I read over the package. Yep, them sample asprins did work good !

Let's break, your Snazzy1.

 

Yikes!!!

Ducks, you really do come up with the perfect pictures!!!

 

I noticed that BB hadn't uttered a word on the C.B, so I glanced in my mirror. That's when I realized that every big truck on I20 had joined our convoy. I decided to click back to channel 19.

Yep, BB had switched channels, " We got them aliens all locked up back here in our trailers. Ole Barney is leading us to the mother ship, so them C.I.A. agents can shoot her down ! I ain't scared and neither is Barney ! We do this stuff all the time ! "

I'd heard enough, " Breaker 19 for the BB ! Switch back to our secure channel ! "

BB clicked back to channel 26, " Say Barney ! Them drivers were all saying they'd like to see this. So, can't they follow us ? "

I looked at my microphone like it was nuts, " BB we're suppose to keep a low profile ! We can't show up with a convoy of trucks ! "

I no sooner took my thumb off the switch when the red and blues lit up. I swung to the shoulder and stopped. The Bear parked behind me and BB pulled in behind the Bear. I took the locked box (clipboard) and handed it to the Bear. We were standing just behind my trailer.

The Bear lit up my driver's license and read over the BOL, " Barney is it ? We'll ya'll got the whole Interstate following you ! I had my C.B. on and what kind of prank are ya'll pulling ? Aliens and flying saucers ! Ya'll on drugs ! Say's here you got CPD ! What"s that ? "

I was honest, " I have no idea ! There's a number on there you can call. It's suppose to answer on the first ring, 24 hours a day. "

The bear gritted his teeth, " I'll radio dispatch and get to the bottom of this ! I never heard of a coded BOL ! "

The Bear sat down in his squad car and BB walked over, " I'm sorry Barney. Guess I shouldn't of been flapping my gums. You ain't upset are you ? "

I gave BB the look, " Just stay off that C.B. ! We still have a long way to go and this isn't helping any ! "

The Bear walked back up and was pale, " Okay, I'm sorry. I didn't know ! Here's your D.L. and locked box back ( metal clipboard with latch ). You boys are brave men ! Braver than me ! I'll radio ahead and ya'll can drive right past those scales. Hell, some of them have families ! You just never know what might happen ! "

I took the locked box back and stuffed my D.L. back into my wallet. BB and I set sail again and whizzed right past the open chicken coupes. Not a Bear one came after us ! Yep, we were hauling something that had to be the load of all loads. Something so critical that folks lives were at risk. Something that was of great importance. Something that meant alot to so many. Something that could be anything. Something that had to be something. My mind voices were speechless ( for once). I just couldn't figire out what that something was. So, we drove all night and stopped at our first designated stop. It was the Petro in El paso and was a welcome sight. So far, so good. I decided to have BB stay with our rigs, as I made my way to the pay phones. My nerves were on end as I dropped in the coins.

Let's break, Snarrers, your Snazzy1.

 

CPD? Hmmm... Corpses of Persons Deceased? Cherry Pie Dough? Cadillacs, Pontiacs, and Dodges???

Oh, the suspense...

Do tell, Snazzy!

 

Carefully prepared devices

or

Cyclopentadiene