Hi, I'm Snazzy and I'm Trucker

Well Ducks, no tears please. That is a cute picture though and of course I'll reward that with 50 Snazzy points. Yep, believe it, or not things actually get a lot worse, as Life Goes On.

Toot stuffed a $10 script bill in my coveralls pocket, as I was led away to my new home. Yep, you'd of thought that was ole Ouch Kapong himself. I was fit into a belly chain and leg irons, as three guards shuffled me to the elevator. Now, this is true ! The county jail had a whole floor reserved for federal inmates. The elevator didn't even have a button to stop on that floor. A Lt. had a key that had to be inserted and the elevator would stealth it's way there. I never even new which floor I was actually on. Well other than, I knew that I was high up. So, we de-elevatored and I was handed over to the blue blazers. Well, they were the guards, but wore blue blazer jackets, dress slacks, and highly polished paten leather shoes. Yep, they looked like doorman at a ritzy five star hotel. So, I was issued my new outfit. Yep, no white coveralls here. I looked like a fireman on Red Idare's fire fighting team. Let's see, they were red coveralls, with DOC printed on the back. Hmm, maybe they think that I'm a doctor ? Nope ! It stood for, Department Of Corrections. What a deal !

Anyway, my new pod was unreal. There were only 30 of us in a two story penthouse suite. Well, it was about 300' ft long, a 100' ft wide, and had a big screen tv that sat right in the middle. There were vending machines lined up along the walls and a separate dinning area. There was a game room with card tables, dart board, and get this. Yep ! A pool table, with all the balls, and cue sticks. It even had overhanging lights and chalk. I did a double take. What a deal ! So, my valet. Yes, we had servants. Well, they were called trustees, but actually they were paid inmates, that had earned the privilege of being houseboys. They actually had to pass a background check to be in there. Of course they had to live with us, but in their own servants quarters. I was shown to my upstairs bedroom. Yes ! We got our own private rooms, that had a speaker mounted on the outside wall. Yep, I'd press a button and the door would buzz. I looked around and sure enough, there was a blue blazer sitting at a desk. All he did, all shift long, was to buzz the inmate doors. What a job ! My houseboy made my bed and showed me how to use the remote. Yep, there was a small color tv in every room. Now, the rules were strict. Yep, we were only allowed downstairs, from 5 am, until 10 pm. Lights out at midnight, so we were locked down without tv, for almost five whole hours. What a bunch of crap ! The worse part was the recreational balcony was closed from 9 pm, until 6 am. Yep ! A full basket ball court, complete with goals, nets, and balls. Oh ! It also had a tennis court, but that didn't interest me. Oh, so your thinking I'm making this part up ? Nope ! If you don't believe me, go commit a federal crime. I dare you !

Anyway, it sure beat the pod I'd been in. I didn't want to mingle with the other federal inmates. You see, I was a bit concerned. I knew that something, just wasn't right. You know what I'm saying. Why would a low life, accused car thief, that was charged with RICO extortion, be sent to a swank lockup ? Yep, something was wrong, as Life Goes On.

Nighty night Snazzers, your Snazzy1.

 

Careful Snazz-Loose lips sink ships. Or get you dead in the old Leonards Subway parking lot. Shhhh.:smt068

 

Yep, Big Duker, that smiley face blowing the monkey's brains out is priceless. Well, it's worth 50 Snazzy points, as life Goes On.

After a couple of weeks I realized that all the nice accommodations weren't anything special. Yep, that was just the difference between the state system and the federal system. So, I began to mingle with my fellow inmates. One of my biggest concerns was that I had run out of money. Yep, they give you a money account, but you have to deposit the funds. So, I needed to have someone from the free world to make a deposit for me. One of the other prisoners suggested that I just write a check to my prison account. It would be deposited as soon as the check cleared. Yep, that's when I found out that my bank account had been frozen. Crap ! Yep, the feds were playing hardball and I didn't know how to. Well, in every jail there are jail house lawyers. What a deal ! So, I sat down with one. He was actually a real attorney, but had been disbarred, for using the US mail to commit fraud. Anyway, he knew his stuff and advised me to write to the court coordinator. Yep, since now that I was indigent the courts would have to appoint me an attorney. So, they did and he met with me in the interview room. What a deal !

He introduced himself, " I'm attorney Six Fingers with the law office of Screwem, Foolem, and Tattooem. Mr Goose anything you say to me is covered by lawyer client privilege. It doesn't matter to me if your guilty or not. I'll fight for you the way you plea. So, let me see here. Okay, I can only represent you on the federal charges. Your state charges are not my concern. Well, Barney ! They've got you good ! Now, tell me your side. "

I was honest, " If they're claiming that I committed extortion ? Well, they're wrong ! I might of done a couple of things, but I never threatened, or used force against anybody. Especially, the owner of that Cadillac ! I don't even know the guy. "

Six Fingers took notes, " So, your claiming that you have no knowledge of how the owner was deprived of his property ? Okay, how did you obtain that car ? "

I knew better, " Well, let's just say that a friend of mine loaned it to me. I mean, that is true ! You know, I just borrowed it ! "

Six Fingers got my drift, " Okay ! So, this friend of yours, will he come to court and testify to that ? "

I laughed, " I can get a half dozen guys to testify that the car was loaned to me. It's a company car that belongs to Elmer's vending company. I swear that I never knew anything about how ..."

Six Fingers educated me, " Barney ! This is your problem, you see. All they have to prove is that you. Well, conspired with one, or more individuals in a criminal enterprise. Now, extortion is one of the federal laws that is covered by RICO. They can use money laundering, murder, kidnapping, bookmaking, and all sorts of crimes. So, think before you answer me this. Is there anyway that someone could testify that you've done anything like that? Now, it has to be someone that can name names, dates, places, times, and be creditable. "

I had to ask, " What do you mean creditable ? "

Fingers explained, " Someone that was a third party ! You know ! Was there, was involved himself, and able to prove what he says. Another thing is that prosecutor is wanting the top men. He won't make deals going down the chain of command. I'm sure that's why their going after you. "

I knew it, " So, if I snitch ! I walk ! No way ! Tell that prosecutor that ole Barney the Hoot doesn't rat ! One more thing ! How the hell can they freeze my bank account ? "

Six Fingers enlightened me, " Well, to be honest they can't ! You see, they've used every trick in the book. Your just not going to fold. So, it's deal time. "

I held firm, " No deals ! They don't have anything on me ! "

Six Fingers made me the offer, " Look, how about this ? You don't plead guilty to anything ! I'll offer them that frozen bank account of yours. See, they'll get a few thousand bucks and you'll walk. They'll figure that you'll just screw up again and they'll get you next time. "

I couldn't believe it, " You mean that they'd turn me loose for what ? $8,000 dollars and some change ! That's all that's in that bank account. "

Six Fingers nodded, " Yes Sir ! They'll just file a seizure case and you'll sign a waiver that agrees not to contest it. They'll drop this criminal case and you'll be home free. Well, until you screw up again. "

I had a brain fart, " Wait a minute ! I'll still have those state charges and the bonds on them are ...."

Six Fingers laughed, " Okay ! I'll have them call the state courts and get those bonds lowered. I'll make sure you have enough left over to make your bail. Now ! How's that ? "

I took the deal ! I mean what else could I do ? A good attorney would of cost me at least $50,000 and it would of taken at least a year to get to trial. Besides, I still had about $36,000 locked in the safe at the Palm Club. Yep, I was ready to be released and then hire me a good attorney. All I had to do was to beat those two misdemeanor DWIs and that bogus auto theft charge. Yep, I'd learned my lesson ! All I wanted to do, was to clear my name and get rolling on Amelia. But, who was I ? Just a beaten man that had learned his lesson, as Life Goes On.

Let's break Snazzers, your Snazzy1.

 

"Now, Barney... would you like to take what you have in your hand and keep it? Or would you like to trade for what's behind one of the three doors..."

Sounds like Monty Hall has come on stage...

​

 

I got a bad feeling about the money in the safe. Been unprotected too long. Hope I'm wrong.

 

Yep Ducks, Life is all about making deals. Let's see what happens next, as Life Goes On.

Now, one thing that I learned about our criminal justice system. It moves slowly, very, very, very, slowly. Yep, I ended up being in the county lockup, for a total of 101 days. Yep, it took the feds almost two months to get our deal done. I signed the waiver that agreed for me to not contest the bank account seizure. In return the feds dropped my RICO extortion case. True to his word, ole Six Fingers had my state bonds reduced, but he wasn't able to get the feds to leave me a penny to make bail. What a deal ! So, I was brought back before Judge Jar Head.

Jar Head gaveled, " Mr Goose ! I'm a patient man, but to be honest. I tired of fooling with you ! Now, I got a call from the federal prosecutor and he assured me that you were taking a plea. State what is your offer ? "

Prosecutor Fat Head thumbed my folder, " Your Honor, the defendant is charged with two counts of DWI. These are serious offenses and pose a grave risk to our community. The State was just made aware of the bond reductions and frankly there is no reason...."

Judge Jar Head had us approach the bench, " It wasn't something that I wanted to do ! The feds led me to believe that Mr Goose was going to accept a plea. Apparently he has cut a deal with them. So, Mr Goose your bond is now set at $500 first offense and $2,500 for the second offense of DWI. I see here that you originally posted a $500 cash bond. I'll reinstate that, so you'll need to post a $2,500 bail. Now ! Is there a plea offer ? "

Fat Head made me the offer, " The State will offer a five year probation and a $ 4,000 fine. That will cover both offenses and of course the defendant will pay court cost. "

I gave them the look, " Is he nuts ? I can't even make my bail ? What's this about a 5 year probation ? You can't even be charged with a second offense DWI, until your convicted of a first offense ! Man ! What law school did this jerk go to ! "

Judge Jar Head had heard enough, " Well Mr Goose ! You seem to know the law quite well. Okay ! I'll set an early trial date for that first offense. How about two weeks from today ? You be here ! I'm appointing you attorney Speedy Gonzales ! Yes sir ! We'll give you a fair trial and then you'll wish you'd of taken that offer ! "

So, I was then placed back in handcuffs and taken before Judge Half Witt. She wasn't happy to see me, " Mr Barney Goose ! Well, I guess being an excop means something to the feds ! I am forced to lower your bond and will do so ! Let's see, I'll reduce it to ,from $50,000, to $10,000. Now, has the State anything to say ? "

Prosecutor Hangem High thumbed my felony folder, " Your Honor this defendant is charged with felony auto theft over $20,000. He has two pending DWI's in our misdemeanor court and has just plead out on a federal charge. The State opposes any bond reduction ! This excop is a one man crime wave ! I recommend pretrial release with restrictions ! "

I had to ask, " What's that ? "

Judge Half Witt educated me, " It means that the court will require that you report to our felony probation department, as a condition of your release. I'll agree to that ! So, Mr Goose, if you make bail, you will report to probation officer From Hell. "

I was then cuffed and taken back to the slums. Yep ! I was a State prisoner again and no longer in federal custody. Your right ! I was back in the violent offender pod with all my old brothers. Well, I caught a break. You see, ole Toot listened to my story. He made me one heck of a deal. Yep, he had a bondsman that owed him a favor. See, Toot was being held on a blue warrant. That's a no bond capias warrant issued by the State Parole Board. Anyway, all that meant was that Toot couldn't bail out. So, he made a phone call and I made my $12,500 bail. Of course it wasn't free ! I had to agree to pay the bondsman his nonrefundable 10%. I also promised Toot that I would deposit $500 in his jail account. What a deal ! So, the next morning I met with the bondsman and signed all the papers. The bondman did take a risk on me. I mean it ! If I were to skip out he'd owe the courts the whole $12,500. On top of that all he got from me was a promise that I'd be in his office. Yep, I had 24 hours to pay him $1,250 and let's not forget Toot. Yep, ole Toot to me was well worth that $500 bucks. Yep, set me free, as Life Goes On ! "

Let's break Snazzers, your Snazzy1.

 

Yep Big Duker that money in the safe. Well, I'll tell you all about that, As Life Goes On.

After signing the bail papers I shook the bondman's hand and sashayed out of the county jail. I called Betty at the Palm Club and she had one of the local bar flies come and pick me up. He drove me straight back to the club and I went directly upstairs. I tumbled the combination and CRAP ! Yep, there wasn't a dime in the safe. So, I calmly sashayed downstairs and cut it up with Betty.

I sat at the bar, " Hey Betty ! What's going on ? "

Betty looked scared, " I'm sure happy to see you ! You have a lot of mail here. Do you want to open it ? "

I lit up a 100, " Sure ! Man, that is a lot of mail. Hand me that letter opener. Thanks. So, have you seen Elmer ? "

Betty gave me the look, " You don't know ? He's in the hospital and from what I hear, he's not doing to good. No one told you ? "

I stood up, " In the hospital ! No ! What happened ? "

Betty lit up, " Those #### feds ! They picked him up for questioning and Elmer started having chest pains. Anyway, his lawyer got them to release him and they were headed to Elmer's heart doctor. Poor Elmer ! "

I had to ask, " So, what happened ! What did his doctor say ? "

Betty wiped her tears, " They didn't make to his doctor. His lawyer drove him straight to the hospital and they said that he had. I'm sorry ! They said that he'd had a heart attack. Elmer's wife has been by his side every minute. You know, they've been married for over 40 years. That poor woman. Can you imagine how she must feel ? "

I choked back a lump, " Yeah, that's tough. So, when did this happen ? "

Betty blew her beak, " Let me see. I guess it's been about two weeks ? Oh, Sal has been handling things and your suppose to call him. I sure hope that Elmer gets better. What's wrong ? "

I slammed the fist on the bar, " Crap ! I was suppose to check in with some pretrial release deal. #### ! I forgot ! Hey, let me run back there and I'll be back later. I need to stop at the post office too and Betty ! I hate to ask you, but do you know anything about the money in the safe ? "

Betty looked real scared, " Money ? No, huh, maybe Sal does, he's been up there. Do you need some ? "

I took the hundred bucks that Betty handed me from the register. My old Chevy cranked right up and drove myself straight to the old court house downtown. Of course I had to park a half mile away and walk the distance. I entered the probation office and stood in line. Yep ! There was a line at least 20 probationers deep. What a deal ! So, I was handed a 30 page application, for having the privilege of, being allowed to be, on pretrial release. What a bunch of crap ! Anyway, I realized that this was going to be an all day event. So, I politely asked if I could just take it with me. You know ! Yep ! That's a no-no, to put it mildly. You'd of thought that I was trying to escape from Al-Can't-Jazz. Man ! Geez ! So, I sat there for two hours filling out that phone book. Yep, it asked things about me that I couldn't even answer. What a deal ! So, finally I completed it and sashayed back into the line of dead beats. Yep, it was a Motley Crew of misfits and lowlifes. The sad part was, that now I was, one of them. Geez, what a deal, as Life Goes On.

Let's break Snazzers, your Snazzy1.

 

I turned in my 30 page application that requested the probation department to accept me into their pretrial release program. They had me sit in the hallway for at least 2 hours, before my name was called. I sashayed into the office and met the probation officer from hell. She was an older woman who kept her gray hair dyed a deep red. Yep, it was almost purple and was wore in a bun on top of her pointy head. She had fiery green eyes that shot darts and her tongue spat with venom. She was the most hateful, evil, spiteful, sorry excuse of a human being, that I've ever met. Yep, that little 5' tall, female Napoleon, 50 something, inconsiderate, mentally unstable, broom riding, piece of crap, no good lowlife, hot headed, mean, lying, two faced, moron, was a real piece of work. Now, I'm sure that she had her reasons for trying to kill me. It might of been because she hated dirty cops, that had tarnished their badges, and had chose to cross the line. Of course, we all know that I never was a dirty cop. Man ! I'd dang near gotten killed more than once and even had gone far beyond the call of duty. Yep ! I knew that I'd made some mistakes, but I never did anything to deserve the type of punishment that she dealt me. Anyway, she was seated at her desk, reading over my paperwork.

She pointed to the wooden chair, " SIT DOWN ! I'm probation officer P.O. Hitler. So, what kind of drugs are you hooked on ? Don't lie to me ! I see that your an excop, so I guess you think that impresses me. Your sadly mistaken, because that turns my stomach ! Your going to work your program, or I'll have your butt locked up ! Follow me ! "

I did and took the clear plastic cup she handed me, " Oh ! You want me to give a urine sample ? I just went a few minutes ago, I'm not sure I'll be able to pee. Where's the guy that collects the samples ? "

P O Hitler stood next to me, " Just piss in that cup ! I collect the samples here and don't try to con me. Now ! Piss ! "

I thought she was joking, " Your not joking ? You really want me to whip it out in front of you ? Lady ! I can't do that ! I mean isn't that illegal ? Isn't there suppose to be a man present ? "

Hitler spat, " Illegal ! Illegal ! That's a good one ! Now are you going to piss, or do I have to lock you up ? What's it going to be ? "

I stood firm, " I'm not doing this ! Not with you watching me and I mean it. So, what now ? "

P O Hitler turned as purple as her hair, " Follow me ! Now, get in there and have a seat ! "

I followed her from the small restroom to the holding cell. Yep, her office had both. So, I was left alone with just the plastic cup and in my underwear. Yep, she had me strip to my drawers and humiliated. What a deal ! I knew that there was something wrong with that woman. I mean, who in their right mind would treat someone that way ? It was nuts ! Anyway, it took me another two hours before I filled the cup. Just out of spite she left me in that holding cell until her office closed. Yep, this wasn't getting off to a good start. But, what choice did I have ? Yep, just on her say so, was what kept me a free man. I sure didn't have bail money and I knew that Judge Half Witt was just itching to lock me back up. Anyway, who was I to complain ? Just a poor slob that life had dealt a bad hand to. Yep, I figured that it had to get better, as Life Goes On.

Let's break Snazzers, your Snazzy1.

 

I stopped by the post office and signed for the registered letters. Yep, when I had checked my mail there were notices about them. So, I ripped open the envelopes and read away. Let's see, the first one informed me that the State of Texas had revoked my liquor license and that the appeal date had already expired. The second letter was from Road Kill informing me that my lease had been terminated. Blah, blah, blah, something about Wifey was now the new lease holder. The third letter was from the State informing me that my driver's license was suspended for refusing that breath test. The fourth letter was a certified copy of Amelia's title, which showed Wifey as an equal owner. Geez! What a deal ! So, I parked in front of the Palm Club and sashayed in. Betty pointed upstairs and informed me that Sal was waiting for me. I entered the loft and popped a top.

Sal slapped me on the back, " Good to see you Barney. Have a seat and let's have a talk. "

I sat at the table, " Look Sal ! The State revoked my liquor license. "

Sal read the letter, " That's old news Barney. We had the license put in Betty's name. You understand, she's been running the club since you were away. Now don't get me wrong, but that's why we need to talk. Betty is a good worker and we have to take care of her. Now, this is just business, as far I'm concerned your a stand up guy. You've done a lot for us and we appreciate that. But ! The problem is that you've become a liability. Now, put yourself in our shoes. Your just too hot to handle right now. Sure, things will cool down and there will be a place for you when they do. For now it's just best for you and us to keep some distance. "

I lit up a 100, " You mean that I"m fired ? "

Sal doubled over laughing, " Your a #### Hoot ! You know that ? Hey, you said that you didn't want in ! Remember ? We begged you to join us and to be honest. Well, things would be different. We take care of each other and we'd do whatever it takes. Now, that doesn't mean that later on you can't join in. It just means that for right now, it's not an option. Capiche ? "

I agreed, " Capiche ! I hate to bring this up, but I had some money stored in that safe. "

Sal got serious, " Well ! I know that you did ! Now, this is just business ! You knew the rules and I didn't make them. But Hey ! Those rules apply to all of us. Even me ! So, once you collected that thirty grand and the feds ended up with it. Well my friend, you have to stand good for it ! So, there was about what ? Thirty five and some change ? Ok, I'll make thirty six and we'll call it even. Does that sound fair ? "

I protested, " Sal ! That wasn't my fault ! Elmer had me driving around in a stolen car ! Geez ! I mean, give me a break ! "

Sal put his arm on my shoulder, " Look ! Now, Barney think about this. You tried to out run the cops and got arrested for DWI. Elmer didn't have a thing to do with that ! "

I shook my head in protest, " That's not how it happened ! I had a tail on me and was trying to shake it. I wasn't even drinking until after the car was ditched. I did just what Elmer...."

Sal had heard enough, " Well, Elmer passed away this afternoon and you should be happy.... I'm sorry, that came out wrong. You know we all think a lot of you Barney and I wish there was more I could do. Now, Elmer's funeral is going to be in a few days. Barney ! I know you want to be there, but that's not a good idea. Uh, tell you what, let me find out when the wake is scheduled. We'll arrange for you to pay your last respects. That way we won't have those feds nosing around. "

I nodded in agreement, " That sounds alright to me. Hey, I hate to put the bite on you, but I need that six grand by tomorrow. I owe my bondsman and I guess I'll need a new place to live. "

Sal stood up, " I'll have your money here tonight and take your time, about moving out. Now, one more thing. Betty is a little concerned, she feels that you might be upset..."

I put that to rest, " No ! Betty's earned everything she's got ! Hell ! There's no way that I could of managed without her. I'll tell her that ! "

So, Sal gave me a big hug before he left and I went down and got drunker than a brewery rat. Yep, at least I had a few dollars to my name and to be honest. Well, I wasn't made for the gangster life. Oh, I guess I'd done okay, but you know what I mean. Yep, all I wanted to do was to get my life back on track. Yep, ole Barney on the straight and narrow, as Life Goes On.

Nighty night, Snazzers, your Snazzy1.

 

I slept in until around noon, no not on purpose, it was just that I over slept. Anyway, I hustled around and packed my belongings. Now, I knew that Sal didn't mind me living in the loft, but hey ! I really wanted to make a clean break of things. You know, get a fresh start. So, I bid Betty farewell and turned over my keys to her. She handed me the envelope that contained the $6,000 that Sal had promised. I left Betty that fancy rug I had bought and she gave me a big hug. Yep ! I was out the door and ready to face the world. My first stop was at the bondsman's office. I peeled of the $1,250 bucks that I owed him and thanked him for his help. I walked over a few blocks to the county jail and deposited $500 into Toot's jail account. I even wrote him a thank you note for his kindness and wished him well. I decided to drive over to Road Kill and get the lowdown on how Wifey had taken over Amelia's lease. So, I parked in the visitors lot and sashayed in. One of the office egg heads took me back to his office. Now, Road Kill was a reputable trucking outfit and had been good to me. They had helped me keep Amelia on the road and had always treated me right. So, I sat in front of the Egg Head's desk, as he fingered his computer.

I lit up a 100, " That's a neat ! I guess ya'll are all computerized. Man, I can remember back when..."

Egg Head interrupted me, " It shows that Wifey Goose is now the lease holder and that ..."

I blew smoke, " Wait a #### minute ! How, in the hell did she do that ? I was the one that leased on that truck ! She wasn't even on the lease ! Another thang ! She just now got put on the title..."

Egg Head tried to soothe me, " Now, Mr Goose I understand that your upset. What happened was that we couldn't add her to the old lease. So, we just canceled it and wrote a new lease. Now, the papers are here, for you to sign. You'll be half partners with your Wifey and we can get your truck back on the road. "

I had to ask, " You mean that Amelia isn't even ..."

Egg Head plopped the lease papers down, " You just need to sign here and we'll get her going. Have ya'll hired a driver yet ? "

I gave him the look, " What happened to Ken and Kim ? I've been paying them. Well, ya'll been advancing them through that payroll account. "

Egg Head gloated, " Yes ! That payroll option plan is well worth the cost. It sure saves the owners from having to pay out monthly ..."

I stood up, " I know all about it ! I'm the one that signed up for it ! Listen to me! I leased on that truck almost a year ago ! I went in debt for over $24,000 dollars. My wife didn't have a thing to with it ! She had filed for divorce and doesn't even like trucks ! So, your telling me, that now she is half owner ! She'll have an equal say and ..."

Egg Head looked scared, " Now Barney ! Mr Goose ! Uh, you need to settle down. I met your exwife and she seemed real pleasant. Now, as far her being awarded ...."

I rolled my eyes, " Look ! I'm not mad at ya'll ! It's just that if you knew half of what I've been through. Well, answer me this ! If I don't sign that lease. You know. What happens then ? "

Egg Head gave me the look, " Well ! If you don't sign, I guess we won't be able to continue doing business. Now, think about that. We've..."

I thought about, " Hey ! I want my truck back ! Right now ! I paid for and she has apportioned Texas tags. Take your tags and banners off ! I'll go drive her to hell, before my Wifey ever gets her ! "

So, that's what happened. Yep, right after Egg Head called the shop and got my Amelia's Road Kill banners removed. I drove her to a truckstop just down the street. Yep, the hell with it ! I decided to just sleep in her womb, as I had many a night. Her engine sang me to sleep, as I snuggled in her warmth. My mind voices all agreed that I was in a pickle. Hell, I didn't even have a valid driver's license, a company to lease with, nor even a plan. I just wanted for things to be like they once were. You know, as Life Goes On.

Nighty night Snazzers, your Snazzy1.