Hi, I'm Snazzy and I'm Trucker

Now Ducks, what did you expect ? As, Life Goes On.

After my 30 day lock down, I was allowed to go job job hunting. The first place that I applied at hired me with no questions asked. Yep, it was a position that required great skills and determination. I stood ready to face my first challenge, as it stopped just feet from me. I quickly armed myself and went to battle. The snake attempted to twist from my hands, but I held on tightly and twisted it's neck. The high pitched scream gave notice to all that this struggle would continue until I was victorious. My eyes searched for all the hiding places, as my weapon made the enemy disappear. The pace was set at warp speed and several of my team members couldn't keep up. They simple threw in their towels and hurried away. I wasn't going to stop until no others dared to enter. The bitter cold was even more taxing than the steady onslaught of the intruders. A glassed in area allowed the crowd to observe my torture. My smallest body parts were the first to fall victim, ears, fingers, toes, and then my doo-dad. What a deal ! I wouldn't give up and fought with all of my might. The beast was the king of this cave and I knew not to get caught by him. He stood feet from me and would devour our enemy, as they entered his huge mouth. Of course he wouldn't of thought twice about doing the same to me. Finally, the last one approached, as we cheered, and did a victory dance. My celebration was short lived. I was fired, because someone in the office read over my application. Yep ! You can't work at the carwash if your drivers license are under suspension. What a deal !

Once per week a substance abuse councilor would force his way in and evaluate our progress. He would have us all sit in a circle and spill our guts. You know ! How far have you gotten in working the twelve step program ? Has anyone relapsed ? Then he'd preach to us about recovery was our only chance of escaping death, jail, or the nut house. Anyway, I'd try to keep a low profile and not rock the boat. I felt that since I'd admitted that I was powerless and had stopped drinking. Well, I figured that was that. Nope ! These guys didn't care if you quit abusing any substances. Oh no ! They had to save your soul ! Yep ! You couldn't stay clean and sober unless you turned your life over to a higher power. Well, to be honest, I've always believed that one's faith is a private matter. You know ! It's between me and my maker. I don't believe in forcing my beliefs on others. To me group religion is one of mans biggest pitfalls. It doesn't matter what religion it is. If folks try to rule the world in the name of their God. Well, count me out. Now, I don't mean to put down anyones faith. You can worship anyway that you see fit. Just allow me to do the same, or if I chose not to. You know, lets not argue, sports, religion, or whose dad can whip the others. Anyway, I was picking my nose and minding my own business.

The Councilor targeted me, " So, Barney ! What step are you on ? "

I hesitated, " You know ! That one about turning my life over to a higher power. I'm just not ready to do that ! "

The Councilor grew angry, " Well ! I've explained that ! Now, it doesn't matter for now, who or what, it's just important that you do that ! "

I shook my head, " Nope ! I kind of like deciding for myself. You know, what use is living, if your second guessing what ...."

The Councilor pointed at me, " Well ! You see where stinking thinking has gotten you ! Your in a state halfway house and have one foot in prison. "

I defended myself, " Hey ! That wasn't my decision ! Some idiot judge and a staff of fools put me in here ! "

The Councilor rubbed his forehead, " Look ! Either you chose a high power to turn your life over to, or else I'll recommend that you be ..."

I stood up, " Alright ! I have decided to turn my life over to myself. "

The group mumbled, " Whisper, whisper, whisper... "

The Councilor pitched a fit, " You can't do that ! It has to be ..."

I pulled the book out, " It says that you can turn your life over to anyone, or anything ! I know that's just a stopgap until you can sale me on your beliefs. But hey ! It's legal and that's what I'm doing ! "

The Councilor stuttered, " Uh ? You can't ? I mean, it says that, but wait. That wouldn't make any sense ! "

I agreed, " Neither does any of this crap ! You know ,for an anonymous group we sure have to answer to a lot of folks. Another thing ! You know, that book says, that anytime two people gather together to keep each other sober. Well ! From now on I'll sit and chew the fat with one of the other guys. Then we'll sign each others required go to meeting slips. That's legal too, the book says so ! Plus ! We ain't going to charge each other !"

The group all stood up and chimed in. Yep ! I done set the group free and the Councilor slithered away. Now ! I wasn't even thinking about causing a ruckus. If they'd just let me work my program the best that I could. But, they had to keep pushing me. I don't like to be pushed and I'll bite back. No, I'm not a bad ### and most of the time I'll turn the other cheek. But, when push comes to shove. I can be one SOB ! No, I'm not bragging and to be honest. My hard headiness has really caused me a lot of heartache.But, my hard headiness has also been a benefit to me, as Life Goes On.

Let's break Snazzers and I hope I haven't offended anyone, your Snazzy1.

 

No Offense, Your my hero Snazz!!

 

Beautiful, Snazz! Probably not the wisest move in the book, but it had to be a beautiful moment...

 

Yes Ducks, it was a beautiful moment and AllLAb, a hero I ain't ! Let's see, as Life Goes On.

I applied at a temporary job placement center and they placed me with one of the largest employers in Lubbock. Yep, it was an electronics company that made computers and such. I had to take a written exam, a physical, and be interviewed for the position. Yep, all for a $4.75 minimum wage job that I'm sure now is done in some third world country for two yin per week. What a deal ! Anyway, the temporary service got $ 8.00 per hour and I got the shaft. My duties were to package the goods as they came down the assembly line. Yep, ole Lucy Ball at the candy factory. I hated working there, but tried not to let it show. Most of my coworkers were either very young, just out of high school, or old farts that were called back out of retirement. Yep, the outfit treated it's employees like slaves and gave no benefits. Thus, the use of the temporary service and saving a buck, on the backs of the working man. One of my coworkers was from the halfway house. His name was Mike The Beard. Yep ! It drug the floor and he looked like an outlaw biker. Well he was, now get this ! Mike did so well on that written exam that they hired him in as a supervisor. Yep, there I was an ex-police Chief, had been Sgt. Detective, and had an associate degree. Yep, I didn't score as high, so I was a worker bee and The Beard was my boss. No, it didn't bother me. Well, maybe a whole lot ! But hey ! Mike was a hell of nice guy. We became very good friends and I learned a lot from a guy that I probably would of never spoken to. Well, unless I was booking him into jail.

The Beards story was sad. He had grown up in California and had a normal childhood. He did well in sports and attended college, but was drafted to serve in Vietnam. Anyway, he was wounded and got a medical discharge. He still had a bullet fragment lodged in his brain. Anyway, he got married and did well with his own construction business. His wife was a stay at home mom and raised their two sons. Mike was operating a forklift one day and got injured. Well, he was in a coma for almost a year. Yep, his wife left him and he lost his business. Now, Mike claimed that he got hooked on his prescription medications and somehow became addicted to heroin. Of course, he got arrested for possession and spent some time in prison. Once released he joined an outlaw biker gang and your right. Yep ! He was doing 90 mph and hit a tree on his hog. No ! Not a pig hog ! You know ! Anyway, he was brain damaged and a drug addict. So, he ran for congress. No he didn't ! He became a street person and a bum. He somehow got arrested for swinging on a Micky Dee's glass door. Don't ask ! Anyway, it broke and he plead guilty to felony criminal mischief out of a Dallas court. So, he was a guest at the halfway house and my boss at work. Of course, I was his boss at the halfway house one night per week.

So, we got along and get this ! Mike had a drivers license, but wasn't allowed to own a car. Yep ! The halfway house forbid the guest from owning any vehicles. Well, I guess they could own one, but they weren't allowed to have it with them. Well, since I was considered on the staff, I could have one, but I wasn't allowed to drive. Yep, you can't drive on a suspended license. So, we bought an old rusty Mustang. No, not a horse ! You know ! Anyway we. No, I replaced transmission and we cut a deal. Mike would drive and I gave him my parking space. That way we didn't have to pay the $ 25.00 fee each week. Yep, that halfway house got you coming and going. Anyway, you talk about the odd couple ! There I was all neat and trim. The Beard always looked like he'd fallen off a freight train. No, he kept good hygiene, but wore rags, and never combed his face, err, hair. Twice per month we got our paychecks and I always invested in some clothing. Mike would rummage through the dumpsters and find the latest hobo fashions. I liked to eat out , but Mike preferred eating beans from the can. Yep, we were quite the couple. Now don't get me wrong ! If I went that way, I could of married me a good looking Priest.

Anyway, time slowly passed and my six month stay was coming to an end. The Veterans Administration and the State Mental Agency decided that I was well enough to travel. What a deal ! So, without much fanfare I was handed my bus ticket to Dallas, Texas. Yep, I even got the $30 buck travel pay. So, we leave Lubbock and head back to the metroplex where I get the surprise of my life. As, Life Goes On.

Nightie night Snazzers, your Snazzy1.

 

Is Sweet Thang still alive or is Snazzy going back to the Klink???????

 

Gees, Snazz -- haven't you had enough surprises yet?

 

HI,I'm a newbie and saw your site.Very interesting. Will continue to visit!

Happy New Year !!!

 

I must say that I think this is by far the best read that I have had in a long time. I have spent the last several days trying to catch up and just finally read the last post. Now I am on pins and needles. I hate that I caught up and now have to wait like everyone else for new installments.

I love reading about the local tales of a fellow Texan. Everything is bigger here and your stories prove that.

And I thought that I would help out Ducks with some of the illustrations. I found a pic of Mike. Now of course this pic is old and was taken a few years after you left and you will notice he protested ever shaving and insisted on letting his beard grow. He also decided that he would turn his life over to himself and used pics of God as a model. Now keep em coming Snazzy!!

 

Let's have a big Snazzy welcome for our newest Snazzers, Lady Justice and Sassytrucker. Now mc8541ss, drop and give us 20 Snazzy points for not keeping up. Geez ! I know your in a war zone, but what's more important ? Don't answer that ! I see that Ducks hired an assistant for our graphics department. Well, I guess ya'll know that Scarecrow was pitching the Snazzy book in New York. Yep, they netted him and he's in a padded cell now. So, there will be a need for a new publisher. Anyway, Snazzy points to all and extra points to the graphic department, as Life Goes On.

I sat behind the dog handler, as the Hound headed East. We arrived in Fort Worth and I snatched my worn suitcase. Let's see, I had the clothes on my back, what was in the bag, and about $ 2,000. Yep, I'd turned in half of my paycheck each week and managed to save a little bit. Anyway, I sashayed over to V.A. office. You see, Fort Worth doesn't have a V.A. Hospital. Anyway, I was greeted by two constables that quickly cuffed me. Yep, I was escorted right in front of ole Judge Jar Head. Oh ! The reason we refer to the Judge as Jar Head is simple. He told the biggest war stories that I had ever heard . Yep, every time that I stood before him. I swear, that according to him, he'd won World War II all by himself. Twice ! Anyway, he was his rude self.

Jar Head gaveled, " I see that the defendant is present and his attorney of record has entered the courtroom. The State has pronounced ready and ready or not, here we go ! "

I was seated at the defense table, " What the hell is going on ? "

Speedy Gonzales looked puzzled, " Which case are we going to trial on ? "

I gave him the look, " How would I know ? Your my court appointed lawyer! Don't you know ? "

The Jury was seated and the State began, " That lowlife over there did it ! The State will prove it and you'll be happy to see him hang ! "

Speedy stood, " My client, the defendant is a ... Well ! You know ! "

The State called Officer All American, " Blah, blah, blah ! Speeds of over 200 mph and a foot pursuit ! Resisted arrest ! Feet stunk ! Was Drunk ! "

Speedy crossed examined, " Feet stunk ? Ok ! Defense calls Barney Goose."

I sashayed and took the stand, " No ! I didn't do it ! "

The State, " Did too ! Did too ! Liar, liar, pants on fire ! "

Speedy threw in the towel, " No questions ! "

The jury huddled in the box, " Guilty ! "

Judge Jar Head thanked the jury and told a three hour story of how he'd won the war. Yep ! I was screwed ! Anyway, the bailiff handcuffed me and I was offered the deal. Yep ! If I plead no contest to the first DWI, which was now almost three years old. Well, Jar Head would dismiss that case and I would only have one DWI conviction. But ! If I demanded to go to trial I'd be back in the county jail for at least six months. What a deal ! Now, I really didn't understand what was going on. Attorney Gonzales acted like he'd done me a favor by showing up. I refused to take the deal ! Anyway, they sweetened the deal. Yep ! If I plead that day and agreed not to appeal. Well then, everything was over. Yep ! Jar Head would credit me with time served and back date the conviction. What that meant was my drivers license suspension would be lifted and I was free. Yep ! Now, I only took the deal for two reasons. First, I was sick of the whole thang ! I mean those two DWI's pending had caused me enough grief. Secondly, I knew that a second trial was useless. I mean, why fight it, if it was being dismissed ? Anyway, I still had that bogus auto theft case to worry about. So, I took the deal and signed a bunch of papers. They took my thumb print and I was taken before Judge Half Witt.

She praised me for doing so well in the pretrial release program. Yep ! Man was she a winer ! Anyway, I was to hire an attorney and be back before her in 90 days. In the mean time I was to stay in the V.A. program and keep on, keeping on ! What a deal ! So, a government van picked me up at the courthouse and I Dallas bound, as Life Goes On.

Nightie, night Snazzers, your Snazzy1.

 

Snazzy-run-stay off Lancaster Ave. You'll never be back.