Hi, I'm Snazzy and I'm Trucker

Okay Bullhaulerswife, just for you and the others here we go.

My wife moved back in. We were happy. My little girl was about 2 years old. I was working as a security guard at minimum wage waiting to hear from the P.D. The big day came for my interview. It was held in the basement of the old city hall building. I sat in the hall with some of the other candidates. We we were all a bundle of nerves. I was the last name called. The brass were sitting behind a folding table. The room was small and there was a lone chair facing them. We could litterally reach across the table and shake hands.I was told to have a seat by one of the 5 panel members that made up the review board. As soon as I did, I almost slid out onto the floor. Someone had cut about 3" inches off the front legs. I had to actually hold on to the back of the seat so I wouldn't slide out. The high ranking cop was a captain who was seated in the middle. I was asked a series of rapid fire questions. What makes you think your qualified to be here? Why do want to be a cop? Why should we hire you over the others? Then the what if questions began. What if I slapped you and called you a pig? Your just a little runt, what if I got your gun? Blah, blah, blah. I fielded the questions the best I could. It had taken me by total surprise that it was so hostle. During my interview there was a knock on the door. The review board almost turned into a riot. They had a sign," Do not disturb, interview in progress"

The paper holding intruder whispered something to the captain. I was told to have a seat outside for a moment. The door was shut behind me. I heard some loud words, that I couldn't quite make out. That was followed by some laughture and pounding on the table. The paper holder quickly scurried from the room like a rat. I was told to reenter and have a seat in the slip and slide. The captain kept looking over the paper. The rest of the panel just stared at me. The captain took his time before finally speaking. " It's become apparent to us that a man of your background should start right away. I want you to go with Lt.Bighands and he'll take care of you." I jumped out of the chair and offered my hand to the captian. It was like shaking a wet sock. Lt. Bighands walked me down the long hallway. As we entered the jail area he handed me a plastic tray. "You'll need to place your property in here." I did as instructed and followed him to the cell area. A young cadet opened a cell door and Lt. Bighands shuffled me inside. Both men walked away. I stood there in what I'm sure was a Kodac moment. Dressed in my Sunday best suite, with my Robert Hall shiny shoes, and my favorite black tie. I thought gee, this is good. They make sure that all the officers get a taste of this before they do it to others. Sure enough two minutes later the cadet returned. " I'll need your tie and shoe strings." I handed them over and he disappeared again. I sat on the metal bunk thinking how long this exercise going to last.

Break, Snazzy.

 

Sorry Raindancer for such a long break my cachee is eatting my cookies and the modem was a half quart low on oil. I do believe my puter is crashing. But, dang the torpedoes, full speed ahead. Wake up gang.

Being in the grey bar hotel isn't fun. After several hours sitting a jailer came for me. I explained how I thought it was good that they put a rookie away, so he could see how it felt. This old jailer gave me the look. You know," Like what the hell is he on"? That kind of look. Anyway, he waltzed me over to a small room where I met Det. Urdonefor. The detective explained how I was under arrest for statutory rape. Not to worry, the most I was looking at was 10 to 20, and wth good time, probably no more than 5 years hard time. Now, one of my all time favorite movies is," In Cold Blood". Not the new version, the one with Robert Blake. Remember, they have his crime partner dead to rights and he faints. Okay, I didn't really faint, but I sure felt like it. I went into my James Cagney, "You dirty rats, ain't got nothing on me, you see!"

Of course detective Urdonefor just yawned and escorted me in front of the 100 year old judge. Judge Whatdidsay was deaf. It was commical looking back now, but I sure wasn't laughing back then. The old goat judge was mixed up and thought I was being charged with holding up a bank. I guess that did sound simular to statutory rape. The kicker was if I had robbed the bank my bail would of been less. The only good thing that happend was my old boss walked in the court room. Turns out the cops had gone to his office looking for me. That's when they learned from him that I was at the station being interviewed for the job. He knew the deaf judge from the country club they belonged to. So, I got a free out of jail card. Just signed a form saying I'd appear in court when notified and walked out the door.

My x-boss warned me that I should get a good lawyer because from what he had been told it didn't look too good for me. Yep, back then as now, if you rob a bank your a bad guy. If you as much as look at an under age girl your a perverted animal that needs to be spaded with a dull razor blade. I thanked my x-boss and still till this day don't know why he bothered. I guess he really did care about me. I was and still am gratefull.

Break here and we'll pick up tomorrrow, computer willing. The Snaze.

 

Yes, Baack and Nyegere, it was the girl. Also, I'm accepting donations for a new computer. Plrase send check or money order to Inmate 56604602, Rusk State Mental Hospital, Rusk Texas 74432. Thank, you.

My wife was very understanding. I wasn't able to drive home due to the cops had impounded my car. I had parked at meter that expired while I had sat in jail. I had enough cash to take a cab home. Once there I discovered my wife had moved out. There were divorce papers left ontop our bed. I soon learned that my wife had assisted the cops file the case against me. Seems the little innocent girl's mother had done some real gumshoe work. She had tracked her daughter down by calling around. Once she knew that her daughter was staying at my residence she staked it out. Seems that she got an eyefull watching me exit the house and followed me. Of course this was several weeks before I had quit being a chauffer. It was also the only time I had been at my residence when the girl was even there.

Now, remember my friend that I let stay there while I was away? His name was Larry and we had grown up together. We'd gone to the same schools, ran with the same friends, and shared the same life experiences. The one thang that set us apart was Larry had gotten drafted. He did something strange. Instead of reporting as most do, he beelined it to the Marine recruiter's office. There he enlisted for a tour that sent him in country. Yep, he wasn't there a full 6 months before being sent home minus his right hand. I felt sorry for him. Larry was always a little nutty. He wasn't much bigger than me, so we both took our fair share of abuse. The difference was that Larry liked to fight. Win or lose, Larry would fight and he wasn't bad at it either. My wife hated Larry and most my other friends avoided him. He was a rebel without a hand, err... cause. Lost in the 60's, not being accepted by the groovy crowd. Dang neared killed in the Vietnam war and left homeless. Yep, Larry died young but that a different sad tale.

I went and hunted Larry down and found him at a biker's bar. Larry was high on something and kept showing off. He'd drink a beer and then smash the can with the stub of his wrist. I was impressed. " Hey Larry. What's the deal with that chick at my house ?" Larry sobered up long enough to give the low down. He'd met her at the same bar we were at. She had been dating one of the gang and had gotten kicked out for bringing the heat down on them. Larry claimed he just let her stay one night at my house and that's all he knew. I updated Larry on my situation. Larry laughed, " Hell, half the bikers in here had her. She'd pulled a train all night and begged for more. I can get 40 guys in here to testify to that !" When I reminded Larry that the girl wasn't but 14 he claimed that by Texas law she was of legal age. When I explained again of how the Tarrant County's District Attorney's office didn't feel the same way, Larry quickly changed the subject.

Lets break here, Snazzy.

 

Okay Attitude and Baack, just for ya'll and the 22 lurkers out there. He we go ready or not.

I went home to an empity house. Sat down and drank a whole 5th of orange flavored vodka. B.B. King sang, "It's a rainny night in Georgia". Of course I wasn't in Georgia, but what the hell I loved the song. The next day I got into my security monkey suite and reported to the bank. I was met by the security guard captain. Remember the t.v. series branded ? Chuck Conners played the part of a man marked as a coward. He wore an old U.S. calvary uniform and a sabor that was broken in half. "Where ever he goes for the rest of his life, he will be branded, marked as a da,da. man, (can't remember all the words), what do you do if your branded, but you know your a man?"

I for one, wouldn't of worn that uniform around, with the broken sabor, and a chip on my shoulder. Anyhow, you get the picture. The captain took all my toys. Gun, security guard badge, night stick, special officer's I.D. card, and most of all what little self respect I had. I sulked out of the bank holding my pants up. Remember, the uniform was 3 sizes too large. I honestly believe that you can't keep a good man down. I went home, gathered up the rest of the monkey suites, and dropped them off at the Rent a Cop office. I then went job hunting. My x-boss had already replaced me, so didn't even ask him about being rehired. I did consider asking about my old oil field driving posistion, but couldn't. One of the terms of my release was for me not to leave town. I found a job driving local for a medical supply company. The truck was a semi, box van, with an automatic transmission. No big rig for me, but I was happy to have a job. I ended up selling my new car and bought a used 1966 Chevy, malibu, convertible, blood red, with matching red interrior, I named her Snazzy.

I had to give up the 2 bedroom house and move into a $65.00 per month duplex. It was a dump and my neighbor was an x-con from Florida. His wife was a knockout and I was in love. Of course I never let my feelings known. I guess I valued my teeth more than a roll in hay. We got along fine. They knew I never smoked dope, but I could out drink most the party goers with one tongue tied behind my back. His wife worked at one of the hospitals I delivered to. He just sold pot all day and partied all night. One day I was served with the final divorce papers. I hadn't bothered to even show up. Turns out my x-wife and her lawyer only supplied the court with my earnings from being the chauffer. It was at least a $800 per month more than I earned as a local truck driver. I later learned that my x-wife told the judge that it didn't matter what the child support was. That I wouldn't of paid anyway. Guess they showed me. I did some quick arithmatic and came up with the same figures each time. My total income was about $400 per month. My rent was $65, car $100, and child support $100. Yep, a grand total of $265 per month in bills, not counting electric, gas, food, clothes, and what not. I know some are thinking why not fight the divorce. Well, I just gave up. I was facing serious criminal charges and knew I needed to do something.

Break, Snazzy.