Hi, I'm Snazzy and I'm Trucker

Yo Snazz, sounds like Tyrone just aint getting it. You got the patience of a saint, but sounds like he has a severe case of the P.L.O.Ms.( Poor Little
Old Me). Im all for second chances but when someone cant or wont see that people a bending over backwards for them, its time to cut'em loose.
Like i said,patience of a Saint.

 

Yep Lady, Pj, and Ducks I was tempted to cut him lose, throw him off the truck and have him jailed, but let's see what happens, as Life Goes on.

We got a load headed to Kent, Washington and Tyrone seemed to had mellowed a bit. Now, I was of the mindset that our little spat wouldn't be the only deciding factor. You know, as far as Tyrone passing his training. Yep, I sure didn't care for his attitude, but that was his problem. Yep, what I cared about was if he could drive and get the job done. Well, we're still around the middle of February, 1995 and mother nature gave us her cold shoulder. Yep, we made it to Kent and ended up with a load head to upper state New York. Yep, the only thing standing in our way was another snow storm. I knew that Tyrone couldn't even drive in good weather, so I ice skated East bound. Now, I really do believe that Tyrone had figured out that he wasn't doing too well. You know, he'd hit a bridge, removed a mirror, and even managed to piss me off. So, Tyrone decided to minister to me and cut it up. You know, he fancied himself as a scholar of the good book and had preached the gospel while in prison. Now, I didn't want to rain on Tyrone's parade. You know, I felt that if he was serious about his faith and it helped him to cope. Well, more power to him, but I have to admit that I wasn't all that sold. You know, I mean to me, actions speak louder than words.

Anyway, ole Tyrone sat in the shotgun seat and let her rip. You know, praise him, to hell with them, smite that one, bag of salt here, bless the saints, #### the sinners, and do-dah, do-dah. What a deal ! Now, I did feel uneasy about Tyrone's ramblings, but it wasn't like that I could of just walked out of the services. Yep, I just waiting for him to pass the collection plate and start speaking in tongue. Well, after about a 600 miles of Saint Tyrone, he finally wound down. I was forced to take refuge in a truckstop, due to the big road was being shut down. Yep, the State Boys had decided that it wasn't safe for man, nor beast. So, I treated Tyrone to the buffet and ate like a horse myself. Anyway, after our hardy meal, I decided to feed the video poker machines. Yep, there was a casino there and I felt lucky. So, Tyrone left me to sin and retired early. About 120 quarters later, I sashayed back to the truck. Well actually, I half sashayed and was blown the rest of the way. Yep, it was 20 below zero and the wind-chill was minus 40. What a deal ! Yep, I climbed in and sat down behind the wheel. No, I wasn't going anywhere. I mean, there's only two seats up there and that's the one that I sat in. Anyway, I took off my gloves and unzipped my leather jacket. I heard a commotion coming from the sleeper, so I turned down the radio and perked up my ears.

Tyrone was giving praise, " Oh Lordy, Lord ! How a loooooyaaaaa ! "

The Lord answered, " Hurry up ! Your taking too long ! "

I was speechless, " 0 "

Tyrone opened the curtain, " Oh ! Your back ? I let her in to get warm and she's ready go now. "

I played along, " Yeah, I bet she was freezing without any clothes on. Honey you better put something on, it's cold out there. "

Honey flirted, " I figured that you might want to party too. Why don't you get it while it's hot ! "

My left eye flapped, " I'll pass on that ! Hey, Ty you need to give her that beer. You know your not suppose to be drinking "

Tyrone took a swig, " This is my beer ! I bought it with my money ! "

I held my temper, " Just give it to her and we'll talk about it later. "

So, Honey the Lot Lizard used my CB and made her next date. Yep, a bobtail pulled up and she slithered over to it. I didn't know where to start, so I sat there and thought about it. Tyrone put his pants on and plopped down in the copilots seat.

I began slowly, " Ty, you know that this isn't going to work ! The reason you can't drink is because your on parole and your not suppose to be out here buying beaver off of Lot Lizards ! What the hell are you trying to do?"

Tyrone went on the defense, " You sat in there and drank in that casino. I saw you ! If I want to drink a beer in here that's up to me ! "

Both of my eyes flapped, " Listen to me ! I'm not the one on parole, you are, and don't forget that ! Now, it's true that I drank a few beers in there, but I sure didn't bring any back with me. I don't even drink in this truck and I'll be ###### if you do ! Now get this straight ! I'm your trainer and your the student ! What I say goes ! If you don't like that, well call Ed, or your parole officer. I'm not putting up with this crap ! "

Tyrone backed up, " It's alright with me if you want to drink. I didn't figure that you'd mind me having a beer. That's kool, I'll just wait till I'm back in Dallas. Now, that Honey Girl wasn't my fault ! She knocked on the door and said she just needed to get warm. We were talking and she didn't even ask me for any money ! "

I lit a 100, " You better check your wallet ! Those Lizards can rip you off in a New York second. I've seen them do it ! "

Tyrone waived his wallet in my face, " It's right here ! Look, she couldn't of even reached it ! I hid it under the pillow, I'm no fool ! Oh man ! Oh man ! That b-word got my money ! She left my billfold, but she stole everything out of it ! "

Yep, ole Tyrone had fallen victim to the oldest trick in the book and I don't mean the good book. Yep, them lizards will gut your wallet, but leave it in place. Yep, so if you check, you'll think that all is fine. Yep, it's not until their long gone, before you realize what a sucker you are. So, I had Tyrone report that he'd lost his fuel card. Yep, there wasn't any point in making a police report. You know, he was on parole and even if they caught her, he'd be in more trouble than she was. Yep, he had to call the bank the next morning and report his ATM card missing too. The only good news was that his CDL was in his logbook and hadn't been stolen. Oh, I don't guess that Lizard got more than forty bucks off Tyrone, but it's always the what if's. You know, if a person is willing to risk it all over a few dollars. They're probably willing to kill you and wouldn't think twice about it. Anyway, I didn't preach to Tyrone like he had to me. Yep, I figured he'd learned the hard way and didn't need me to rub it in. Oh, I did make him switch our mattresses and 'm sure you know why, as Life Goes On.

Nightie night Snazzers, your Snazzy1.

 

Oh no Snazzy! You would be better off training a dog to drive! Ole tyrone just dont get it. You gotta keep an eye on that poor kid. Good luck snazzy and be safe!

 

Hey Snazz---its like the porch light is on...but no one is home !

 

Yep Lady and Pjw044, let's see if Tyrone ever gets it, as Life Goes On.

The snow storm stayed with us all the way, which gave me a good excuse to keep Tyrone from behind the wheel. Now, don't get me wrong, I honestly felt that Tyrone could still make it. You know, all he had to do was to last another week and half with me. Yep, even with the bad weather we'd put some miles down. Well, I had anyway and that helped Tyrone to get his. Now another thing that I had thought about was Tyrone's student team training. You know, it wasn't like Tyrone was going to be set loose by himself. Of course, I felt sorry for anyone that got stuck with him. But hey, maybe he'd be teamed with someone better suited for him. You know, someone more to Tyrone's liking and perhaps they'd do fine together. Anyway, I knew that Tyrone didn't care for me too much and that might had been part of his problem. You know, his bad attitude and always trying my patients. Anyway, I finally pulled into the consignee's yard and pulled the yellow knob. The snow was falling like crazy and I could barely see the modern warehouse. Now this place was out to itself and in the middle of nowhere. Yep, it was some small manufacturing plant hidden back in the thickets of Northern, New York State. Yep, I remembered back to my first trip up there and finding out that New York has some beautiful hill country. Anyway, I told Tyrone to keep his seat, because there wasn't any sense in both of us freezing.

I sashayed inside and was greeted by the shipping clerk. She was a real sweet lady and acted surprised that I'd made it through the blizzard. She checked over the BOL and was happy with what I'd brought. Yep, they were short on materials and this saved second shift from being canceled. Yep, sometimes all your hard work really does make a difference. Anyway, she walked me over to the dock area and explained in detail of what I needed to do. Yep, this plant had been specially designed to deal with the severe winter weather. It's loading dock was inside the plant, so the driver had to back in under the overhead door. It was a neat setup and everything was state of the art. Yep, there were electronic sensors that measured the height of your trailer to prevent any damage. A huge heater hung overhead and blew hot air to keep the cold air out. There was a camera mounted, that allowed an indoor monitor to capture everything. Yep, I was impressed, but then I realized what a stupid setup it was. Yep, they'd thought of everything except making it large enough. That stupid thing was so narrow that you had to open your doors to back in. Then you had unhook and drop your trailer, so the door could be shut. Now, it was all electronic and the shipper could just push a button to raise or lower it. Anyway, I sashayed back to the truck and filled Tyrone in.

I pushed in the yellow knob, " Now Tyrone, I've already opened the back doors. I'm going to swing around these parked cars and back up to that overhead door. She's inside and will push a button to raise it. They have a tv monitor inside, so she'll she me. Anyway, what I need you to do is to roll the legs down. While your doing that, I'll disconnect our pigtail and glad hands. I'll go ahead and pull the fifth wheel release, so I can pull out. As soon as I bobtail out, she's going to lower that door. Just stay inside and I'll park and come back in. "

Tyrone had to say it, " Man ! That's a tight fit. How are you going to fit us in there ? "

I spun the wheel, " It's not going to be easy, especially with all those #### four wheelers in the way. Ok ! We're doing good ! Let me try pulling up a little bit more. Yep, that should do it ! How's it look over there ? "

Tyrone egged me on, " You've got it on this side and that door is opening. Do you want me to get out and help guide you back ? "

I hit the brakes, " Yeah, go ahead and remember to lower those legs as soon as I bump that dock. "

So, I bumped the dock, Tyrone lowered her legs, and I unhooked. Yep, it was like a pit crew at the Indy 500 and we did good. I bobtailed out and parked and then sashayed inside. Tyrone stood on the dock and watched the forklift go back and forth. The Shipper Lady was all full of praise and had me step into her office.

I took a sip of hot coffee, " Thank you, I sure appreciate it. "

Shipper Lady added more sugar, " Oh it's the least I can do. Your a real life saver and I mean that ! I'm so happy we got that, I was afraid that we might have to shut down. Oh, and let me tell you this ! Your a good driver and I mean that ! We get all kinds in here and half of them can't even come close to backing in. "

I took another sip, " Well, I tell you thang, that's a pretty hard dock to back onto ! I wonder why they made it so small ? "

Shipper Lady educated me, " It has to do with thermal heating. The whole purpose is to conserve energy and save money. The only real problem with it, is like days like today. You see that door faces Southeast and we don't normally get high winds from that direction. I was so happy that you backed in so quick. See this console here on my desk ? It monitors all temperatures in this entire facility. What was that ? "

I set down my coffee cup, " I don't know ! Kind of felt like an earth quake, or maybe a tree falling ? "

So, we got up and went to investigate. Yep, as soon as we stepped into the dock area the mystery was solved. There was one of the trailer doors laying face down and the overhead door was flapping in the breeze. Yep, ole Tyrone had struck again. What a deal !

Shipper Lady screamed in agony, " My God what did he do ? Half of our wall is missing ! "

My eye flapped in the cold wind, " Hey ! You on the forklift ! What the hell happened ? "

Forklift saw the whole thing, " Your partner hooked up and pulled out. I tried to warm him ! He was too close to that side over there and the trailer door caught that edge. It yanked that overhead door rail right off the wall and took some of the bricks with it. "

Shipper Lady had heard enough, " I'm calling the police ! We're screwed and the whole plant will have to shut down. He's knocked out our power and we can't work ! Your company better have good insurance ! That's all I've got to say ! Some driver ya'll are ! I'll never use you again ! I hope your happy and know what you've done ! This is just what I needed ! "

I followed the truck tracks in the snow and spotted Tyrone admiring his handy work. Yep, he was just standing there and looking up at where a trailer door once was. I was just too angry to speak, so we both just stood there staring up, as the snow began to bury us. I thought about just burrowing away. You know, like groundhogs do, but it'd be easier, because it was fluffy white snow. Yes, I could burrow my way to the North pole and live with the Seals. No ! Not the Navy guys, I mean the ones with the whiskers that go urt, urt, urt. Yep, I was losing it and I knew it. Poor trailer door never hurt nobody and that maniac Tyrone killed her dead. So, I just stood there with my eye flapping and began laughing. Yep, I figured if that camera had captured any of that, we'd be the a hit on the World's Dumbest Truck Drivers, as Life Goes On.

Nightie night Snazzers, your Snazzy1.

 

Poor ole Snazzy! You need to drop that fool off somewhere! He aint doin nothin but costin you money. You will be much better off without him!
Good luck to ya and Be safe out there!

 

Can you say "STRIKE 3 your out". And dont let the door hitya where God split ya. Seeya.

 

Guess I really can't claim to be a real trucker. I'm retired now and just took a part time job delivering bottled water locally. Driving a small Izuzu. It's great fun and I can can earn a little extra cash.

 

Should have cut your losses on this guy 2 weeks ago. Need to drop him off with a lizard and haul it.

 

I just had a most awful thought. What if Snazz ultimately winds up feeling sorry for himself...?

Uhhh... there's no team driving in your future, is there, Snazz????