Hi, I'm Snazzy and I'm Trucker

Those big screens are going to disappear faster than a plate of hot wings at a super bowl party.

 

Ya'know I sure hope that i am way wrong on this-----but most leopards dont change their spots..............

 

First a big warm Snazzy welcome to 460 and I appreciate your kind words. I see that Sapphirecat survived watching the election results. Pj, Lady, and Duker are back for their abuse. Lobshot mentioned hot wings and that sure sounds good, as Life Goes On.

Since I was a regular at the Layover Club all of the staff knew me well. Yep, the bartenders, cooks, waitresses, security staff, and even the owner knew my name. What a deal ! Of course, I always tipped well and was on my best behaver. Now, I was a bit of a pool hustler back then. No, I wasn't no Fat's Barney, but I was better than most. Anyway, I enjoyed playing and usually could win more beer than I paid for. Of course, there were some real pool sharks that came in on occasion. Anyway, I never bet that much and really just enjoyed the game. You know, it took my mind off things and besides that, Julie always waitressed the pool room area. Yep, her and I would cut it up and laugh together. She had a young boy friend and he had hired on as a part time bar-back. You know, he'd keep the coolers filled and empty the trash. No ! I wasn't jealous ! He was a real nice guy and they had dated since high school. Julie had told me all about him and she was trying to let him off easy. Yep, and I don't think he was going to be too heart broken. He'd introduced me to his new girlfriend, but had sworn me to secrecy. What a deal !

Anyway, the club filled to it's capacity, which consisted mostly of lonely truckers who wanted a cold beer and ear to bend. Yep, in a trucker's lounge on a Friday night is the place to be. I was cutting it up with Joe and his wife. He was a local shipping clerk and I had told him about the club. Yep, Joe and wife, along with half of his warehouse workers would close the joint down every weekend. I liked Joe and his wife, because they were just down to earth folks. You know, they didn't try to put on airs and treated me like family. I ordered another round and watched, as Julie wiggled her tight fitting jeans away. The jukebox was blaring, the beer was flowing, and life was good. Julie returned with our tray of spirits and joined our table. Yep, she got off early, but chose to keep me company. I didn't really know how to act. You know, it was like a dream come true. She no sooner sat down next to me when the nightmare began. Yep, from our table I spotted a familiar face sitting at the bar. Gees ! You guessed who ! I excused myself and sashayed over.

Tyrone was gulping down a double, " What's up man ! "

I sat on the toadstool next to him, " Tyrone, your suppose to be..."

Tyrone smirked and cut me off, " Hell ! I know ! Everything is fine and I just came in for a nightcap. Is that Julie over there ? You didn't tell me that she was a Mexican. So, this is the club you talked about ? "

I took a swig, " Ty, please ! We can't have anything happen to that load and one of us has to keep an eye on it. "

Tyrone stood up, " Screw that load ! I'm not getting paid to play rent a pig, you can have one of your buddies..."

I stood up, " Look ! You agreed to ..."

Tyrone shoved me back, " Screw you ! You want some of me ! Come on ! "
I was shocked, " What's your problem ? You need to settle down..."

Mike the Beard joined in, " Hey ! N-word ! Have some of this ! "

Yep, ole Mike the Biker Beard just happened to show up and didn't care to see me faced off with knot head. Yep, ole Tyrone looked like a unicorn, after Mike had smashed that beer bottle over his head. Now, I'll say this, about Tyrone. He sure had a hard head. Yep, any ordinary fella would of been on the floor and out cold. Ole Tyrone just stood there with a blank stare and didn't say a word.

I held Mike back, " Gees Mike ! You didn't have to do that ! "

Mike shoved me back, " You don't ever back down from a N-word ! I'll kill that SOB ! "

So much for race relations, " Come on Mike ! He's had enough ! "

Tyrone hadn't, " Come on ! Let's go ! I'll take you both on ! "

I stood there as Mike kicked the living crap out of Tyrone. Oh, I did try to get between them, but Tyrone hit me in the back of my head. So, it was the main event of the evening. Yep, the whole club stood there as Mike swept the floor, mopped, and dusted with Tyrone. Even the security guard kept out of Mike's way. Well finally, I managed to calm Mike down, as he kissed Tyrone's face with the toe of his boot. Joe and I rushed Mike outside, as the blue lights arrived. Joe raced away with Mike ducked down in his passenger seat. What a deal ! Now get this ! Tyrone had gotten up and exited the back door. Yep, he'd disappeared into thin air, so the cops decided to go eat some donuts. I mean, why go find a victim and fill out reports ? So, the party continued. Well not really. I sashayed over to the little boys room and cleaned up. Somehow, I'd been given a small mouse over my flapping left eye. What a deal ! Anyway, things settled down and Julie played nurse. Yep, she tried freezing my mouse with a piece of ice.

Joe's wife handed me her cell phone, " Joe ? Where are ya'll at ? "

Joe whispered, " We're across the street at the Flying J. It looks like the cops left. Here, Mike wants to talk to you. "

I spoke first, " Mike are you alright ? "

Mike laughed, " No ! My foot hurts ! What happened to the N-word ? "

I was honest, " We don't know, he crawled out of here and his blood trail ended over in that field outside. Oh man ! He's got the key to the truck and I bet .."

Mike jumped in, " He's over here in the parking lot ! I see him ! You want me to take care of him ? "

I thought about it, " No ! I'll be right over and Mike leave him alone ! I mean it ! He's nuts ! I'll be right there ! "

So, I handed the phone back to Joe's wife and bid farewell to Julie. Yep, it was time to take care of business. I sashayed over to the Filthy Jay and went straight to the truck. Joe parked his car and followed Mike over.

I unlocked the door, " Mike do me a favor and don't be wasting beer like that anymore. "

Mike laughed, " I can't believe that he didn't go down ! "

Joe shook his head, " You guys are nuts ! Hey look, I need to get back over there. Barney what are you going to do ? "

I opened the door, " I'd like to go hide the truck somewhere, so that Idiot doesn't try to steal it. Man ! I already had Julie talked into breakfast at the Waffle Palace. That SOB, done ruined ..."

Mike made the offer, " Go ahead Barney ! I'll stay here with your truck, if I can park my bike over here. That N-word is dead if I see him again ! "

So, Mike the Beard parked his bike right in front of the rig and made himself at home in the sleeper. Julie lead the parade of Waffle Palace patrons, as I sat nestled snugly, next to her. Joe's crew, his wife, the Layover staff, Mike's outfit, the security guards, cops, six midgets, 12 bums, an elephant, two laying hens, and half of Dallas joined us. What a deal, as Life Goes On.

Nightie night Snazzers, your Snazzy1.

 

And the saga continues on...................

 

Mike woke me up and it took awhile for the cobwebs to clear. Yep, I must of had a real good time, since I couldn't even remember half of it, as Life Goes On.

I sat up, " Man, what time is it ? "

Mike played Big Ben, " It's a little afternoon and I need to get going. "

I realized, I was on the top bunk, " How did I end up here ? What happened to Julie ? "

Mike sat behind the wheel, " She dropped you off and had me carry you. You were out of it ! Man ! She sure looked good ! Did you get any ? "

I rubbed my hair, " No ! The last thing that I remember was being at the Waffle Palace and eating breakfast. "

Mike laughed, " She said that you passed out in your hash browns and that the whole place was laughing at you. She said that it took her, that guy Joe, and his wife to carry you out to her car. "

I shut my flapping eyes, " Great ! I guess she'll never want to be seen with me again. #### ! "

Mike had to ask, " How hard is it to drive one of these things ? Man, you can see along ways sitting this high up. "

I plopped down in shotgun seat, " It's not that hard, but it takes some time to learn. Hey ! Did Tyrone ever show up. "

Mike spun the wheel, " Man ! I'd like to do this ! How's the money ! Oh ! The N-word ? Naw, he's probably off smoking crack and licking his wounds. That dumb SOB ! Why didn't you kick his butt last night ? "

I lit a 100, " He's nuts ! I can't believe that he pulled that crap. Man, I did everything that I could to be his friend. All he did was screwup and cry about being black. You know me Mike, I'm not prejudice and that really got to me. I bet he was high on dope last night and he probably.."

Mike jumped in, " Your a pushover ! That N-word tired to pick a fight with you and now your making up excuses for him. Screw him ! Remember back when we were in Lubbock and all them N-words tried to start .."

I blew smoke, " That was different Mike ! They were fresh out of the joint and didn't know.."

Mike threw his hands up, " There you go again ! Go ahead and take up for them ! I'm saying though, that one of these days you'll find out ! They hate whitey and your white ! I know ! "

I counted my money, " Gees ! I must of had a good time last night. "

Mike had heard enough, " Well, I need to head out. So, what are you going to do ? "

I thought about it, " I'm going to be at the motel and take it easy. I feel like crap ! Uh, how's your bike doing ? "

Mike buckled up his leather jacket, " Real good ! I had her up over 100 and still had half of an inch of throttle to go. Well, I need to get going and I'll talk at you later. "

So, Mike roared away, as my hangover went full tilt. I sashayed into the Filthy Jay, did number 1, washed up, filled my thermos, and purchased a couple of bear claws. No ! Well you know, the pastry kind. Anyway, I did a quick walk around and drove the rig back to the bed and bug. I did number 2, showered, and collapsed on the bed. Yep, I was worn out and real upset about it all. You know, Tyrone, Julie, and getting drunk as a skunk. Gees, I guess the only good part was I'd finally gotten ridden of Tyrone. Yep, ole Mother Ed sure knew how to pick them.

Ring, ring, ring, " Hello ? "

Guess who, " Did I wake you up ?

I lied, " No ! Julie ? "

Julie giggled, " You told me to call you when I got to work. How are you feeling ? We're already packed in here and it's not even dark outside. Are you going to come by ? "

I sat up, " I guess, I can, uh, did you make it home alright ? "

Julie had to remind me, " Your the one who was drunk and passed out. We were suppose to go back to your motel. Don't you remember ? "

I lied some more, " Yeah, I'm sorry about that and I hope that you'll forgive me for being such a jerk. What time do you get off ? "

Julie had to go, " I get off at closing time. Oh, Joe's here and says for you to get your butt over here ! I've got to go, so I'll see you when you get here. Oh, can you give me a ride home tonight ? My car wouldn't start, so my dad dropped me off. "

Dirty thoughts crossed my mind, " Sure, I'll be there in a few minutes and tell Joe to kiss my butt ! See you, bye. "

Yep, the world wasn't such a bad place after all. You know, Julie wasn't mad at me and we could still do the nasty together. Yep, it was Saturday night in the Big D and I was foot loose and fancy free. What a deal, as Life Goes On.

Nightie night Snazzers, your Snazzy1.

 

Still waiting for the other shoe to fall.................from about 15 feet in the air........

 

Yep Pjw044, the saga continues and let's see if the other shoe falls as Life Goes On.

I got dressed and slapped on some extra smell good. You know, I wanted to do Julie and figured. Well you know, I even put on a brand new pair of fruit of the loins. Now, my biggest concern was that cargo of t.v.s, I knew that Tyrone had a set of keys to the truck. So, I decided to play it safe. Yep, the old drop the trailer and hide the bobtail trick. I backed the trailer up against a tall light post that stood in the middle of the motel parking lot. I'd done that before with other loads, so I knew what I was doing. You see, the trailer doors couldn't be opened unless the trailer was pulled forward. Of course, I still had that huge steel cylinder lock on the back doors and Tyrone didn't have a key to that. Yep, I'd thought of it all and put the finishing touches on, before bobtailing away. My secret weapon was the ole kingpin lock. Yep, I latched that sucker on and checked it twice. You know, it was one of those locks that prevents a fifth wheel from being hooked onto. So, I admired my handiwork and set sail. The Layover Club was just a couple of exits up and it had it's own bobtail parking area. So, I backed into a spot and pulled the fart knob. Psstt ! Love that sound !

I sashayed in after locking her up and checking her twice. Joe and wife were seated at our regular table, so I pulled up a chair. Julie wiggled over with my long neck on her tray. Life was good ! Julie pecked my cheek, as Joe paid for the round.

Julie whispered in my ear, " Don't drink too much tonight, we need to talk later. "

I grinned, " Talk ? Hell, you might be walking home tonight ! "

Julie looked worried, " Is your eye ok ? It looks pretty bad ! "

Joe's wife agreed, " I noticed that too ! Barney it looks swollen. "

Joe laughed, " You women act like you've never seen a black eye. Hey, where's your buddy Mike at ? "

I took a swig, " He started a new job over in Garland and he's running two crews now. You know, he puts in 20 hour days, I don't how he does it. I mean, having your own company is nice, but man ! "

So, the tables bull session began. You know, we all sat around and cut it up. Yep, Julie kept the cold brew a coming, the jukebox played, and time passed by. What a deal ! The club roared with drunken laughter, as a thick cloud of smoke filled the air. I was feeling pretty good. You know, I was with friends and really enjoying the moment. Anyway, I had to go bleed the lizard, so I sashayed back. Yep, that left eye of mine sure stood out in the mirror. I wiped it with a damp paper towel and blew a kiss to myself. You know how we do, when no one is watching us. Anyway, I decided to check on matters and sashayed out to the truck. Yep, she was still waiting for me and standing tall. So, I found my way back inside and rejoined the group. Julie took her break and sat in my lap. What a deal ! Yep, the evening was winding down and I was just counting the minutes. You know, Julie and me naked, springs bouncing, us moaning, fluids flying, and hearts a racing. What a deal ! Anyway, last call for alcohol was announced, as the bar lights came on. Joe and wife wanted us to share breakfast, so Julie and I agreed to join them. Yep, we held hands and strolled like two love birds across the four lane. The Filthy Jay served a good stack of pancakes, bacon, and eggs. After our early morning feast, Joe and wife bid us farewell, and left us lovebirds to our own destiny.

I unlocked the passenger door, " Just take a hold of that chrome bar and step up. That's it ! Oh, that's an air seat and it's suppose to do that. "

Julie laughed, " I thought I broke it. Man ! This is neat ! "

I sat in the captain's chair, " Yeah ! That seatbelt is a little hard to fasten. There you got it. "

Julie grew quiet as the 400 horses came to life and rocked our boat. She farted a good one. No ! Not Julie ! The air brakes, as I pushed in her knob. The yellow knob ! Not Julie's ! Anyway, we set sail and a few minutes later I parked in front of the door of pleasure. Yep, she was as wide as the room and her eyes reflected from the drape covered window. The trucks ! You know! Anyway, I locked her up and we entered. Me and Julie ! Gees ! Come on folks ! Julie headed straight for the ladies room, or mens room, depending on what sex you are. I flipped on the wall mounted t.v. and found a music channel playing oldie goldies. You know, the Animals, Stones, and such. I dimmed the lamp to a low glow and sat down on the bed. You know, it was one of those moments where you feel a bit uneasy. You hope that things turn out as expected, but your not sure what to expect ? You know what I mean. Anyway, I heard a strange noise, so turned the music down. Yep, it was the shower running, so I turned up the music. I sure didn't want Julie to think that I was ease dropping on her. Anyway, a few minutes later Julie made her entrance. Her long black hair was wrapped in a towel, as she massaged it dry. Her sexy curved body was fitted perfectly in a baby doll nightie that exposed her golden brown skin.

Julie stood inches from me, " I went ahead and used your shower. I hope you don't mind, it sure felt good. "

I didn't recognize my high pitched voice, " That's fine ! I probably need to jump in there too. Would you like a coke or something ? There's a machine just around the corner. "

Julie thought about it, " I'll have a diet Pepsi, or a Dr Pepper, if they have one. What are you going to have ? "

I thought about it, " I feel like a Coke. I'll be right back, but lock the door. I don't trust this place ! I've never had a problem here, but you never know, and it pays to be careful. "

So, I sashayed to the vending machine and fed it some green backs. Yep, the cans rattled down and their cold sweat chilled my numb hands. I tapped twice and the door opened. Julie took her Dr Pepper, as I set my Coke down and blew into my hands.

I sashayed back, " I'll be out in a minute. You can change that channel if you want to. "

Julie's eyes followed me, " I like this music ! Did you use buy those disk and dance to that ? "

I laughed, " Disk ! Hell, we had a windup phonograph. Remember, I'm a 100 years old and getting older by the day. "

We both hee hawed more than necessary, as I stripped down and got wet. Now, this was the deciding moment. You know, what should I wear ? Do I sashay out in towel ? Maybe, my jeans and a towel shaw ? Perhaps, nude as J-bird wearing nothing but a smile ? How about fruit of the loins and a towel apron ? So, I studied on it. Yep, a 42 year old man who couldn't decide, what a 20 year old wouldn't of even thought about. What a deal ! Anyway, I sashayed out in my jeans with a towel shoulder wrap. You know, kind of I'm in the mood for love, but you don't have to look. Julie had dimmed the lights and turned back the covers. She had her back propped up against the headboard, with pillows as a cushion. I popped the Coke can and it spewed like a ruptured whale. Yep, my snowy white beer belly, hairy chicken legs, and gray hair all got soaked. What a deal !

Julie giggled, " And, you just got out of the shower ! "

I wiped with my towel, " #### ! It's still spewing ! Look at that ! "

Julie kept laughing, " Go put in the sink ! "

I poured it out, " Man ! That thing ! Gees ! "

Julie pulled the covers back, " Come on to bed and listen to this. Who sang that ? "

I played along, " I'm not sure. Do they tell you at the end ? "

Julie placed her hand on my chest, as her coal black eyes stared through my soul. I took her in my arms and tasted her tender lips. Our bodies met and I could feel her passion rise. She slid her hand gently down, as I shed my jeans. Yep, we was seconds away from making one of those life's memories that last forever. What a deal !

I sat up, " SOB ! That's the G-#### truck ! Mother Hubbard ! "

Julie ran to the window, " He's backing up ! You better hurry ! "

I couldn't find my pants, so I grabbed the covers and wrapped myself. I ran outside, as the truck slammed against the trailer. Nope, I couldn't see who it was, but I knew it was Tyrone. Who else could it of been ? Anyway, I screamed and hollered like a madman, as the truck finally gave up. Yep, it disappeared into the night and left me in a trail of dust. What a deal, as Life Goes On.

Nightie night Snazzers, your Snazzy1.

 

Shoes at about 12feet and picking up speed as is falls...........
Hope it aint a steel-toed boot !

 

Been gone 5 weeks, still gone actually, but finally have a internet connection thru my cell phone, what a relief been jonesun for some
Snazzie storys! Funny how life is, as soon as I left for orientation the
woman I lived with for 5 years decided she needed a new man, so I guess
I'll be livin in this truck, oh boy! As the Snazz puts it "What a deal"!! and
"Life Goes On"!! Keep em coming Snazzy and Thanks!! All caught up!!

 

AllLab glad to see you and sorry about the breakup, just hang in there and keep on Trucken. Pj let's see what happens, as Life Goes On.

The bed and bug was just outside of the Dallas City limits, so a local yocal from the hick suburb showed up. He was as useless as tits on a boar hog and really pissed me off. Julie and I had gotten dressed when the cop knocked.

I opened the door, " I'm glad your here. This is my drivers license and this has the truck information. I can call my boss if you need to talk to him. "

Local Yocal stepped inside the room, " I'm here about a noise complaint. Why are you giving me this ? "

I tried to explain, " I'm a driver and trainer for TLX. I had a student that stole my tractor and tried to steal that trailer out there. It's loaded with new Big Screen t.v.s and we were going to deliver it Monday. "

Local eyed Julie, " Is this your daughter ? "

Julie smiled and hugged my neck, " He's my big daddy ! "

I blushed, but kept explaining, " Anyway Officer, his name is Tyrone and he's on parole for drugs. He can't drive and will probably wreck out before he gets too far. "

Local Yocal pried some more, " I need to see your ID ! "

Julie was surprised, " Why ? I haven't got anything to do with this. I'm just a friend of his and was over here visiting. "

Yocal was asking for it, " You don't remember me ! Do you ? We just busted you a few weeks ago for prostitution. "

Julie handed it over, " You've never busted me ! I've never been arrested in my life ! You've got me mixed up with someone else. "

I piped in, " Officer she works at the Layover Club and. Hold it ! What's your problem Officer ! She's with me and has nothing to do with this ! "

Local played Holmes, " I see that she has the tools of her trade laying in plain view !

Julie went postal, " Leave my stuff alone and keep your hands off that ! "

Local Yocal examined the nightie, " It was right here on the bed ! That gives me the right to investigate. Ya'll know that prostitution is illegal. "

I'd heard enough, " Wipe that silly grin off your face and hit door ! "

Yocal grabbed Julie by her wrist, " That's assault on a police officer ! She's going to jail and you better back off ! "

Julie fought like a wildcat, " You SOB ! You can't do this ! "

I protested, " All she did was take back her nightie ! You didn't have any right to ..."

Local Yocal yelled on his hand-held, " Officer needs assistance ! Bed and Bug signal 63 !

Yep, ole Julie had the Local Yocal down and was ripping him a new one. What a deal ! I didn't know what to do. I mean, Julie didn't need any help and I sure wasn't. Well, yes I did ! You know ! I was afraid she was going to really hurt him. Yep, ole Julie was a handful when she was all lathered up. I managed to pull her off, as the backup Officers arrived. Yep, they carted Julie off for assault on a Police Officer. What a deal !

Local Yocal threatened me, " You were smart to stay out of it ! Now, if she cooperates and names you as her John, I'll be back ! My advice to you is to get out of Dodge ! "

I couldn't believe it, " Officer I hope your city has plenty of insurance. I'm going to sue the pants off of ya'll and this is nuts ! Man ! "

Yocal collected the evidence, " I'm taking this in as evidence and remember what I told you ! "

I had to say it, " I don't think that will fit you ! "

Local Yocal strutted out carrying Julie' nightie and sniffing the crotch area. What a deal ! Yep ! The whole night had turned into a nightmare in a New York second. I didn't waste any time and called Ed.

Ring, ring, ring, " This is uh Ed ? "

I talked fast, " Ed ! It's Barney ! That a-hole Tyrone stole your tractor and tried to steal our load. I'm here at the Bed and Bug, and the cops here are crazy. They arrested my girlfriend and wanted to put me in jail ! "

Ed was Ed, " Do you know what time it is ? I can't do anything ! You need to settle down and call me later. Have you been drinking ? "

I gave the receiver the look, " Ed ! I'm not playing here ! You better get on the ball and do something ! I'm going to kill Tyrone and if you don't believe me, you better think twice ! Now, what are you going to do ? "

Ed woke up, " You said it was the local cops ? Alright, we've dealt with them before. I'll call our attorney and have him call you. Now, you'll have to pay for ..."

I jumped in, " Ed ! I don't care what it cost ! Now, what about your load of t.v.s ? I can't do anything without a truck ! "

So, Ed had another driver bobtail over. Yep, we hooked up to it and beat feet back to the TLX terminal. I spoke with the attorney over the phone and he had Julie released in the blink of an eye. He also managed to get the cops to put out an APB for the stolen tractor. I jumped in my Datsun and picked Julie up from the local jail. She was still upset and near tears.

I opened the car door, " I'm sorry Julie. This is all my fault and I should of known better ! "

Julie hugged my neck, " No it's not ! That cop was wrong and he knows it. There is a prostitute that looks a little like me. Some of the drivers at the club even mistake us. That's who that cop thought I was. Anyway, that lawyer you called must have scared the crap out of them. They didn't file any charges and that lawyer said I should sue them ! "

I had to ask, " That lawyer came down there ? Man ! That was fast ! "

Julie set the record straight, " No ! He just called them and it was funny. Those cops were pissing themselves. I mean it ! They got me out of there and kept apologizing about what a big mistake it was. You should of seen their faces. Oh, that young fat one that arrested me. I bet he gets fired, because their Chief wanted him stay there until he got there. I hope they do fire him ! "

I laughed, " I bet he never wants to tangle with you again. I wish that I could of done more, but I was laughing so hard..."

Julie chimed in, " Did you see him reach for his gun ? I thought that he was going to shoot us ! He's a joke ! I'm glad that you .."

I added my two cents, " Well ! There wasn't much I could of done. When you had him by his balls I was afraid ..."

Julie giggled, " I bet he walks funny from now on ! "

So, Julie and I went back to the motel. Yep, we finally did the nasty and I guess it because of all of the excitement. You know, we wore each other out and then did it again. What a deal ! Anyway, I ended up dropping her off at the club around 5 pm. Yep, she had to work on Sunday and I needed to rest up for Monday. I went back to the Bed and Bug and relived our sexual encounter. You know, how you play back things in your memory banks, like rewinding them on the VCR, or CDs, or whatever. What a deal, as Life Goes On.

Nightie night Snazers, your Snazzy1.