Hi, I'm Snazzy and I'm Trucker

Dang Snazzy you need to make this into a movie. Would be a "hoot" to watch on one of those big screens.

 

And the saga contiues.....after briefand much needed respite.....
But the shoes is sill falling and gathering speed as we wait for ????

 

Wow--and the saga continues. I bet snazzy wont give another student the keys to the truck. I wouldnt wanna be tyrone when snazzy catches him either. Good luck snazzy and be safe out there!

 

I finally am up to date, awesome story, couldnt stop reading it. Barney Goose what a hoot. I am eagerly awaiting the next installment. I dont know or care how much is true but I dang sure enjoy reading it. Your writing style is very descriptive so I am able to visualize what you are writing about. Sandlapper

 

Let's have a big Snazzy welcome for Sandlapper and I'm happy the stories didn't bore you to death. Yep Duker, I'm just waiting for Hollywood to call and make me an offer. Yes Lady and Pj, the saga continues, as Life Goes On.

I sat in Ed's office waiting for him to get off the phone. It was around noon and I'd finally delivered those BS TVs. Yep, Ed had issued me another tractor, but I was still burned up about. Well, you know. Anyway as I was sitting there Agent Silly showed up. What a deal !

Silly was all smiles, " How are you doing Barney ? Ed called me and filled me in on what happened. You should of called me. So, what's the latest ? "

I shook Silly's hand, " I think, Ed is on the phone with the cops now. What's going to happen to Tyrone when they catch him ? "

Silly took a seat, " Well, that's up to Ed and it all depends. Do you have any idea of why Tyrone did this ? "

I lit up, " I think that he's on dope ! He's going to end up dead ! You know, a few years back I'd of ...."

Ed interrupted, " They got him ! He was parked right behind that motel and they're waiting for us. "

Agent Silly jumped up, " We can take my car, it's right out front. "

I sat in the backseat, " I hope he gave them a reason to beat the snot out of him ! "

Ed laughed, " Hell ! He's lucky that your girlfriend didn't get her hands on him. That Chief called me and said it took his whole midnight shift to get her into custody. Oh, that reminds me. Barney, that lawyer charged $500.00 and I'll have to deduct that from ..."

I jumped in, " That's fine ! I figured he'd charge at least that much. "

Agent Silly swung into the parking lot, " I'll check with the Officers. Why don't ya'll see about the truck ? "

So, Ed and I sashayed over and climbed inside. Yep, ole Tyrone had taken my CB, a coffee can I had full of change, and trashed the whole inside. What a deal ! Ed decided to have me drive the tractor back to the TLX terminal. As I swung out, I could see Tyrone cuffed and sitting in the back of the caged cruiser. I gave him my middle finger salute and mouthed a big, 'Frig You'. Yep, that guy had caused me enough grief. I parked the tractor next to the shop and red tagged it, so the mechanics could do their thing. I gathered up what was mine and loaded it into my newly assigned rig. Ed and Agent Silly pulled in a few minutes later, so we cut it up in Ed's office.

Agent Silly opened his briefcase, " Here Barney, just sign here and I'll fill in the rest later. It's just a release stating your not going to file any criminal charges against Tyrone. You know, that CB and change that was taken."

I read it over, " I'm not signing this ! That CB cost me $300 bucks and I bet there was a good $75 dollars in change ! Screw him ! "

Ed piped up, " Go ahead and sign it ! I'll take care of that lawyer's fee and we can call it even. "

Agent Silly smiled, " I sure appreciate you doing this ! I'll keep Tyrone on restriction at the halfway house. We'll let him cool his heels there and have time to think about what he did. "

I had to ask, " What the hell is going on ? "

Ed educated me, " In return for not filing charges, Agent Silly has agreed to cover any damages. So, ..."

I stood up, " Are ya'll nuts ? The SOB stole a $70,000 tractor and tried to hijack a load worth ..."

Agent Silly cut me short, " Mr Goose ! Now, I spoke with Tyrone and he has a little different version than what you gave. He claims that you were drunk and started in on him.."

I'd heard enough, " Do what ? You believe him ? That lying SOB ! He wasn't suppose to leave the truck ! I was at the Layover Club and he came in looking for a fight ! I've got a dozen witnesses that saw what happened!"

Ed counted on his fingers, " First Barney, you weren't suppose to be in a bar when your on duty ! Second, you drove with an unauthorized rider when you drove back to the motel ! Third, ...."

I threw my hands up, " Ed ! You told me to have Tyrone watch after that load and I wasn't on duty ! You know that ! "

Ed laughed, " I never told you to invite Tyrone to his own butt whipping. He says that you and some of your biker buddies ..."

I started pulling my hair out, " I give up ! Yeah, sure ! I was going to drag Tyrone behind the rig and head out to Jasper, Texas. Yep, I was going to enter into the N-Word dragging contest. You know first prize is a lifetime membership into the KKK ! "

Agent Silly stood up, " I find that word offensive ! Maybe, Tyrone did have good reasons for his actions ! "

I sat back down, " Look ! I'm sorry ! It's just that Tyrone has made my life miserable, for the past few weeks that guy ..."

Silly sat back down, " Your right ! Most of my clients have poor social skills and that's why this program is so important ! Mr Goose I read those reports that you filled out and frankly I'm at a loss. Now, I'm assuming that Tyrone began to question your reasoning. He said that you constantly complained that he wasn't suited for the job. Then there was an incident where your brakes malfunctioned, but you unfairly blamed him. I can go on, but it comes down to just one fact. You need to better understand the needs of our clients. They're at a point in their lives where ..."

I stood back up, " Forget it ! Ed ! I quit ! That's it ! I've had enough of this crap ! Ya'll do what you want ! "

So, I tossed my keys on Ed's desk and stormed out the door. Yep ! That was it ! No more ! Ole Barney Goose had his fill of it ! Yep, I could go to work for Mike The Beard and sleep in my own bed. They could take this job and shove it ! I ain't working here no more ! What a deal, as Live Goes On.

Nightie night Snazzers, your Snazzy1.

 

And BOOM goes the shoe,,,for now

 

Wow tyrone done found a way to blame it all on snazzy! Poor snazzy! I woulda quit too with a few choice words!

 

And I thought I was the only one who had luck like that! I swear to fictitious bearded dudes in the sky, Snazzy, some of the stuff you write about could be me...

 

Yep Pjw044, the shoe of Life was kicking my butt and Lady Trucker99 some folks won't ever admit it when their wrong. Now lilillilli, trust me. Most of these true fiction tales could be told by you, or half of the drivers out there. Yep, folks just don't know what kind of crap the big road deals out, as Life Goes On.

I made it far as my Datsun, before Ed caught up to me, " Now Barney ! I've already got you a load assigned and your student is waiting inside. You can't just quit on me like this ! "

I took a deep breath, " Ed ! It's nothing personal, but I can't put up with this. That Agent Silly is nuts and you are too, if you listen to him ! "

Ed began to brown nose me, " Barney ! Your the only trainer I've got that can do this ! Now come on ! Matter of fact, your student this time isn't even sponsored by Agent Silly ! He's already been out a week with another trainer and all he needs is about 8,000 miles to finish up. "

I lit up a 100, " You mean that ! He's not on parole ? What's the catch ? Is he blind, or have some sort of sleeping disease ? You better tell me now! I'll find out anyway. "

Ed laughed, " He's an experienced driver and seems like a nice guy ! Heck, you can have him back here in two weeks. I'm short on drivers and we need him. Tell you what ! When you get back, I'll assign you a brand new truck. Matter of fact, I'm raising your pay a penny per mile. Now, that's 21 cents, for every mile that truck turns. You'll clear an extra $80.00 per week ! "

I did the math, " Alright, but Ed, I mean this ! One more Tyrone ! "

Ed assured me, " Hey ! Your the trainer and if you need to kick some butt and take names, I'll back you up ! Hell ! You let Tyrone off too easy. If the student quits we can't help that ! We can't just start failing students and let that get out. You know, it's hard enough to recruit these Idiots who'll work for nothing. "

I had to say it, " That's just it Ed ! Why don't ya'll raise the starting pay and attract some better qualified students ? "

Ed educated me, " Crook Jr has a business plan all worked out and in time we'll be one of the best paying outfits around. Barney, it takes time, just bare with us. "

So, I relented and agreed to give it another try. You know, I really didn't have a lot of options. I still needed another six months to have a full year of over the road experience. Well, experience that another company would of accepted. You know what I mean ! Anyway, I sashayed over and Ed did the introductions. I was stunned, because I swear that Tom looked exactly like the actor Tom Sea-lick. Yep, he was tall, had curly dark hair, tanned, well dressed, had huge blue eyes, and was polite. What a deal ! Anyway, I wasn't going to take any chances. Yep, I had Tom do a pretrip inspection, as I watched over his every move. Well, I was impressed. Yep, he knew his way around a big rig and sure walked the walk. But, just to be on the safe side I laid down the law.

I sat behind the wheel, " Tom ! This truck has rules ! Number one, I'm GOD and don't ever forget that ! What I say goes ! If you don't like it, lump it! It doesn't matter to me if you can make this truck fit through the eye of a needle. I'll flunk you in a heartbeat and you'll wish you'd never thought about driving a big rig ! If I say jump, all I want to hear, is how high ? Did I make myself clear ! Another thing ! My students earn their privileges ! Don't even think about turning on that radio, talking on the CB, or setting the cruise control. All of those are for truck drivers only ! Students like you don't count, until I'm satisfied ! You hear me ! Now, if I sound like a prick, you haven't seen my bad side ! You don't ever want to try me ! Now, if you've got anything to say, go ahead and spit it out ! "

There was nothing but silence, as Tom sat and nodded to my every word. It seemed too good to true. You know, I'd just dressed the man down like a Christmas day turkey and he never even blinked. What a deal ! So, I pushed in the fart knob and we set sail. I parked in the fuel island at the Pile Lot and was shocked, as Tom leaped out. Yep, without me uttering a word ole Tom went to scrubbing her windows, checking her oil, thumping her tires, and filling her tanks. I was very impressed ! So, I decided to see what kind of driver ole Tom was. Yep, I belted myself into the shotgun seat and had ole Tom take her reigns. Well, I couldn't believe my eyes ! Yep, he shifted as smooth as butter and braked without farting air. The air brakes, not Tom. Anyway, he had us headed West and doing the limit. Yep, he held a mean wheel and steered her straight as an arrow. I was really impressed ! Now, one thing that I had noticed was how quite Tom was. I mean he hadn't said a half dozen words from the get go. I figured that maybe he was the strong silent type, or perhaps he was just shy. You know, or maybe he decided to show me a thing or two. Yeah, the best way to impress a hard nosed trainer like me was to prove himself. Well, I decided to go ahead and ease up a bit.

I broke the ice, " Well Tom ! So far you've really done better than all of my other students. Ed told me that you had some experience. Where did you learn to drive ? "

Tom flipped on the left blinker, checked his mirror, and steered her over into the hammer lane. I could understand, you know, he was putting safety first. Yep, there was plenty of time for jaw jabbering and cutting it up. So, I waited until he overtook the #### Truck and moved back over.

I blew smoke, " That was excellent ! You signaled your intent, checked your mirrors, kept good lane position, and timed it perfectly. So, where was I ? Oh, where did you learn to drive at ? "

Tom glanced over at me and nodded. I felt bad, you know, I'd overdone my lecture and had poor Tom afraid to open his yap. So, I back slid a little.

I grinned, " Hey look Tom. I'm sorry that I was a bit harsh with you at the start. Uh, I didn't mean to sound like a raving madman. It's just that you wouldn't believe the last student that I had. That guy could piss off the Pope and I'm not kidding. Anyway, your doing excellent and we'll get along just fine. So, Ed said that you were out with another trainer. It didn't happen to be a fella named Mike was it ? Has red hair and likes to gamble a lot. He was my trainer and we got along pretty good. "

Tom shook his head back and forth, " No ! Tom ! "

I studied on it, " Tom ? Tom ! No, I guess I don't know him. Well hell, there must be at least fifty trainers that I don't know. Say, he wasn't a short younger guy, with a beard ? I may have met him ! "

Tom gave me a funny look, " Beer ? "

I spoke louder, " No ! Beard ! You know ! Whiskers ! "

Tom nodded, " Whiskey ! "

It hit me, " You don't speak English do you ? "

Tom smiled, " English, me learning. Od ES Amureka ! "

So, I opened the passenger door and through myself under all 18 wheels. Yep, this was going to be fun ! What a deal, as Life Goes On.

Nightie night Snazzers, your Snazzy1.

 

Out of the frying pan and into the fire...