Hi, I'm Snazzy and I'm Trucker

very entertaining! I wonder how my trainer will remember me? start school on the 25th of feb 08

 

First a big Snazzy welcome to Lockednloaded and best of luck with your driving school. Pw, let's see how it goes, as Life Goes On.

Our first week passed slowly, but without incident. I discovered that James needed constant supervision. He was a capable driver, but unless it was written down, he'd forget. You know, there were those little yellow sticky notes stuck all inside the truck. Yep, James would reminded himself to put on his shoes, get dressed, and everything else. What a deal ! Anyway, all I had to do was stick a note on the dash that outlined our route. You know, like stay on IH 20, to such and such loop, and hit IH so and so, then stay North bound until exit # 131, and wake me up. Yep, as long as James was reminded he did pretty good. His shifting had improved and we working on his backing. Now one thing that I'd noticed was James enjoyed looking at pictures. Yep, a picture was worth a thousand words. He couldn't backup to save his life and no matter what I said or wrote down seemed to help. So, I drew a picture of the steering wheel with little arrows pointing. You know, it helped to remind James which direction to turn it when he was backing. Yep, that did the trick and ole James was getting the hang of it. I was satisfied with his progress and allowed him to play the radio, use the CB, and the cruise control. What a deal ! We were backed onto a shippers dock getting loaded. So, I sat behind the wheel filling out his weekly evaluation.

I paused, " Now James ! Pay attention ! Your doing just fine and I want you know, that it's a lot better than I had expected. Now, what you need to work on most is just basic things. You know, keeping a safe distance and making sure to signal your lane changes. "

James had his usual silly grin, " You mean, your going to pass me ? "

I explained, " Let's not get ahead of ourselves. This evaluation is just for your first week out. You still have aways to go yet. Just remember, you can do this and stay focused. It only takes a second to screwup and you don't want to do that ! "

James focused his crossed eyes on me, " Mr Goose, do you think that I can do this ? I'm doing my best, but sometimes I feel like I can't. "

I lit up a 100, " James ! You can do anything that you put your mind to ! Just stay focused and don't get all flustered. Now, is there anything that is bothering you or do you have any questions ? This is a good time to speak up and let me know. "

James had to ask, " Why are they called chicken coupes ? "

I blew smoke, " Oh, the weigh stations ? Well, years ago when they first started using them, they looked like chicken coupes. I mean, they were just small little wooden huts. They were just big enough to keep a man out of the weather. You know, like those small guard shacks over there. Yep, back then they were the size of a chicken coupe. At night time when they were lit up, from a distance, they looked just like. Well, chicken coupes. "

James shot another question at me, " Why are they called bears ? "

I thought about it, " Well ! I think that got started back when Smokey the Bear was used. You know, the cartoon bear that are on all of those posters, to prevent forest fires. Yep, whoever drew him must of used a State Troopers uniform as a model. Anyway, because of that hat and everything. Well, the Troopers started being known as Bears. "

James had one more in him, " Why do the drivers race their engines at nighttime ? "

I explained, " Well, most of them do that to keep their alternator putting out more amps. You know, all those tvs, microwave ovens, computers, and such. They draw a lot of juice, so that helps to run things. Now, years ago, back when most of the trucks had turbo chargers. Well, it helped to keep the turbos oiled and run cooler. "

James grinned his silly grin, " Wow ! You sure know it all ! I'd never figured all of that out. "

I laughed, " I sure wish that I knew it all ! James ! What little I know, didn't come to me overnight. It's from being out here and soaking it up. Those old hands out here know more in their little finger, than five of me put together. That's why it's important to watch what they do and ask questions. Most of them are more than willing to help you. They like to steer new drivers in the right direction. Just remember that ! "

So, James filled out a sticky note and stuck it on his forehead. No he didn't, but you get the picture. Yep, James really was serious about being a driver and gave it his best. I'd rather of trained ten students like James, than had to fool with one like ole Tyrone. You know what I mean. Anyway, we got loaded and I set sail towards where we were headed. Yep, the only thing that James did, that really got to me was. Well, he sucked his thump. Yes, he was a thumb sucker. That drove me nuts ! I mean, a grown man sucking his thumb, just went through me. I use to cringe when my x-wifey would bite her nails. Yep, she'd nibble on them things and spit em' out. I'd beg her not do that and she'd counter by bringing up my smoking. Yep, it's strange how others can manage to annoy us. Anyway, what could I do ? I mean it was James's thumb and who was I to interfere ? I hated it when the other drivers noticed. Yep, they'd all snicker and poke fun of James behind his back. One even tried to start a fight over it. Yep, we'd finished our meal at one of the greasy spoons and I was enjoying an after dinner smoke. James was just sucking away, when ole Billy Badbuns waddled over.

Badbuns grabbed James by his wrist, " I've had enough of this ! You need to get the hell out of here ! "

I stood up, " Hey ! Let him go ! "

Badbuns shoved James onto the floor, " Well, get him out of here ! We're all trying to eat and don't need to look at that ! "

I helped James up, " You alright ? Go ahead and I'll be out in a minute. "

Badbuns smirked, " You might want to check his diaper ! "

I had to ask, " What's your #### problem ? He wasn't doing anything ! "

Badbuns stepped closer, " Some of us don't like looking at perverts when we're eating ! "

I backed up, " Hey look ! The guy got wounded in Desert Storm ! He's got a metal plate in his head ! "

Badbuns didn't believe me, " That Idiot ! He wasn't in the service ! "

I raised my right hand, " I swear that he was ! That guy held off a whole company of Sad Ham's elite forces ! He just got out the VA hospital ! "

Badbuns looked shocked, " Well, I didn't know that ! I figured he was just a retarded pervert ! "

I folded my arms, " Well ! I hope your happy ! That poor guy sacrificed his whole being, to defend this country ! I hope you didn't upset him too much ! "

Badbuns had to ask, " Why ? "

I shook my head, " Well ! He's still taking his meds, so maybe your alright. Man ! The last time he got upset, he started having those flashbacks. It took a swat team a whole day to calm him down. "

Badbums looked over his shoulder, " Well ! Can't you go talk to him. Here, I'll pay for that meal ticket ! Go out there and tell him I'm sorry ! I really am ! I sure didn't know ! "

I shrugged my shoulders, " Alright ! I'll try ! But, I can't promise that he won't be back in here. Man ! I sure hope he doesn't lose it like last time. Well, have a good one. "

So, I sashayed out, as Billy Badbuns rushed over to settle with the cashier. Yep, I barely made it back to the truck, as Billy Badbuns smoked his pickup tires out of the parking lot.

I pulled open the curtain, " James ! Are you sure your alright ? "

James had tears in his eyes, " I'm sorry ! Is he going to hurt me ? "

I lied, " Do you think that I'm going to let some 6'ft, 4"inch, 400 lb, ugly gorilla, hurt my co-driver. That guy is lucky that I didn't stick my foot up his rump ! Now, do us a favor ! From now on if you need to stick that thumb in your mouth. Well, do it back here in the sleeper. Some of these Idiots get all worked up over it. "

James wiped his crossed eyes, " I'm sorry Mr Goose and if I forget, just remind me. I don't want to cause any trouble. "

So, I pushed in the yellow knob and we set sail again. Yep, James wrote out another sticky note and stuck it on his thumb. What a deal, as Life Goes On.

Nightie night Snazzers, your Snazzy1.

 

Still with ya Snazzy! You make me feel not so bad! Please keep it coming!
Thanks

 

​

 

Need to stay real close to ol' James.......

 

Dang Ducks, talk about a picture being worth a 1,000 Snazzy points. I had to wipe spewed ice tea from my screen. AllLab cheer up and don't let it get you down, as Life Goes On.

We were parked at a 76 and it was my turn behind the wheel. James sat on the passenger side and was reading over some sticky notes.

A voice whispered over the CB, " Psst, psst, TLX you got your ears on ? "

I keyed the Mike, " You got the Barney Express here, come on back ! "

The voice, " You running Team and headed North ? "

I looked over at James, " I don't like this ! Write this down James ! Anytime someone starts asking a bunch of questions about where your headed or if your running team. Don't answer them ! It might be a setup for a hijacking or something ! "

James scribbled, " So, you think that we're being setup ? "

The voice, " Hey, Barney Express. I'm in this Volvo and parked right across from you. I'll come over ! "

I gave James the look, " Let me do the talking and find out what this guy is up to ! "

So, the driver climbed onto my running board and told me his sad tale. His name was Mud and I found at why. Yep, he'd only been driving for a few short months and his luck had run out. He'd gotten pulled into the chicken coupe and the bears there had put him out of service. Yep, ole Mud had his logbook showing way too many hours. He was over the 70 hour rule, so he had to take a mandatory 24 hour break. The bears had written him up, but did follow him to the truckstop. Yep, they were nice enough to let him sit it out there. You know, that way he could eat, shower, and stuff. Anyway, he wasn't but a few hours away from his house. I played it safe by reading over his logbook, checking his CDL, and giving him the third degree. Yep, he was on the up and up. So, ole Barney Goose to the rescue.

I lit up a 100, " Here's what we can do. I'll have James here follow us in my truck. That chicken coupe is an exit behind us, so I can drive your rig past the State line. It's two exits North of here and we're headed that way anyway. I'll doctor us up a couple of logbooks to make us look legal. Once your out of here and past that State line. I'll have your book showing you as legal as can be ! "

Mud pulled out his wallet, " I'll give you each $100 dollars, for doing this and I sure appreciate it ! "

I snorted, " Put that away ! When the day comes that we can't help each other out. Well, I'll quit driving ! "

Mud shook my hand, " Thanks ! I just want to get home and spend some time with my family. I've been out for over a month and my wife is due any day now. That'll be our second, this is my two year old here. "

I fussed over the picture, " She's a darling and I guess that's your better half there. Man ! She's a looker ! Your a lucky man ! "

So, I sat and played logbook forger. You know, I drew lines and made stuff up to satisfy any nosy bears that we might come across. My plan was simple enough. Yep, all I had to do was to fix up Mud's new logbook to look legal. Then I had to fill out a logbook for myself to show me as a driver for Mud's outfit. It wasn't all that complicated and it would satisfy a once glance over. Now, you might wonder if I could have just shown Mud as being legal, why did I need to do anything more ? Well, the bears are known to set drivers up. They'll have a snitch call them the minute an out of service driver heads out. So, if they tried that we were ready for them. My story would of been that I was already at the truckstop. Yep, I was just helping out another company driver to make it home. What a deal !

I wrote out the simple plan, " Listen up James ! When I pull out, just follow me. We'll keep our CBs on channel 26 and keep them there. If I get pulled over, just keep going. See here where I circled that on the map ? That's the first rest area past the State line. That's where we'll meet up. If anything happens and I mean anything ! All you need to do is wait there ! Don't leave there ! I'll be there ! Most likely all you'll have to do is stay behind me and follow me there. Have you got that ? "

James crossed eyed the road Atlas, " So, I'll follow ya'll ! If you get pulled over, I'll park and wait for you there. "

I wanted to be sure, " Now, what about the CB ? "

James pulled out his thumb, " I'll keep it on channel 26, so we can talk to each other. "

I patted James on his shoulder, " Alright ! Go ahead and get ready. I'll go over there and when I pull out, just fall in behind us. Now, get a good look at that rig over there. That's the one I'll be driving and that you'll need to follow. Do you understand all of this ? If there's a problem or you feel that your not up to this. Well, let me know now ! "

James assured me, " I got it ! I'll follow you and meet you there ! If you get stopped, I'll just wait there for you ! "

So, I sashayed over and climbed into Mud's rig, " This is nice ! Man, you only have what, fifty thousands miles on her ? "

Mud boasted, " Yes sir ! They issued me this truck brand new, the day I started with them. I've put every mile on her and that's only been about four months ago. They run me to death ! "

I pushed in the yellow knob, " How long have you been driving ? "

Mud lit up a regular, " Let me see. I finished school back in September and started with them ..."

I cut Mud short, " Where the hell is he ? "

Mud cranked his head, " I didn't see him pull out ! Maybe, he .."

I grabbed the mike, " Hey, Twiddles ! Twiddles ! You got it on Twiddles ? "

Mud laughed, " Twiddles ? That's a good handle ! "

I rolled my flapping eyes, " That guy ! I swear ! He could screwup a wet dream ! Gees ! "

Mud suggested " You think he went ahead and ..."

I agreed, " I guess he did ! I just don't know why ? I told him to follow us and I don't understand why he doesn't answer the CB ! "

Mud took the mike, " Twiddles ! Twiddles ! You got it on Twiddles ? "

I headed Northbound, " That Idiot ! I told him to follow me and keep that CB on channel 26 ! Man ! You know, he's a little slow. See, I'm a special trainer for my outfit. They only have me train students with special needs. "

Mud had to ask, " Special needs ? What's that ? "

I laughed, " They have a special need to have their butts kicked ! "

So, Mud and I hee-hawed it up, as I hammered down Northbound on the big road. Now, I really wasn't all that mad. You know, I was more concerned about what had gone wrong. I mean, what part of, 'follow me' was so complicated ? I kept the pedal to the metal, as Mud kept trying over Channel 26. Nope, no Twiddles, no James, and no such luck. Where the hell did he go ? What a deal, as Life Goes On.

Nightie night Snazzers, your Snazzy1.

 

Great chapter Snazzy.

 

Thanks Big Duker and Pj, for staying tuned, as Life Goes On.

I drove Mud's rig to the rest area and checked around. I couldn't believe what I didn't see. No TLX truck, no James, and no ideas.

I pulled the yellow knob, " This is just great ! Where the hell is he ? "

Mud headed for his sleeper, " I hate to do this, but I'm bushed. Why don't you try the CB again and wake me up if you get a hold of him. "

My eyes twitched, " Breaker ! Breaker ! How about it Twiddles ! You got your ears on ? "

Mud offered up more advice, " You might try channel 19 again, maybe he forgot to stay on 26 ? "

I flipped the channels, " Breaker 19 ! Twiddles ! Twiddles ! How about you Twiddles ! Come on back ! "

The CB answered, " This is Smart Butt ! Go ahead for Twiddles ! "

I looked at the Mike, " This is the Goose ! Say, Smart Butt what's the 20 of Twiddles ?

Smart Butt laughed, " Hell if I know ! You've been raising such a fuss trying to raise him ! Hell, I just figured to find out why ! "

I explained, " 10-4, there Smart Butt ! The Goose here is Twiddles's trainer and ole Twiddles is in a TLX rig. He's lost somewhere around here and I'm trying to find out where. "

A familiar voice piped in, " Breaker 19 ! Hey ! This is the Born Loser ! Is that you, Barney Goose ? "

I keyed up, " Red ? 10-4, you got the Goose here ! What's your 20 ? "

Red dropped his bomb, " Is that you on my back door ? "

I paused, " No ! I'm sitting here at the pickle park, Northbound, mile marker 4. Come on back ! "

Red laughed, " Does that Student suck his thumb and look goofy ? "

My eyes flapped, " 10-4, on that Goofy and thumb sucking ! "

Red updated me, " I'm Southbound and we're...crackle, crackle, .."

So, I tried like crazy, but had no luck. Yep, that was my old trainer Mike, that went by Red, and whose handle was Born Loser. I decided to give it a few minutes. You know, Red knew where I was at and if James was on his back door. Well, you know !

Crackle, crackle, " Barney ? Barney ? Mr Goose ? "

I rolled my flapping eyes, " James ! Where the hell are you at ? "

Red laughed, " He's here with me at crackle,crackle, he'll be there, crackle, be about, crackle, crackle. "

Mud opened the curtain, " You got a hold of him ? "

I explained, " I guess James was following a TLX truck Southbound. It's my old Trainer Red and he's trying to get James turned around. Man ! What a Idiot ! I can't believe this ! "

Mud laughed, " I don't know how you train students like that. Oh, I sure appreciate you helping me out. When he gets back here, I want to buy ya'll's lunch. If that's alright ? "

So, an hour later Mud, James, and myself were sitting around a hot meal at the Greasy Spoon Truckstop. What a deal !

I was still pissed off, " James ! Why the hell did you do that ? All you were suppose to do was follow me ! "

James hung his head down, " I saw your TLX truck exit the parking lot and followed it. "

My flapping eyes narrowed, " My Truck ! You #### Idiot ! You were driving my truck ! How could you follow it ? I swear, JAMES ! "

Mud laughed, " He meant well ! Come on Barney, it's funny ! "

I tossed down my napkin, " No it's not ! That Idiot there can't pour piss out of a boot ! That's with the directions written on the bottom ! "

James started crying, " I'm sorry ! Mr Goose, please ! "

I felt like a heel, " Oh, never mind ! Just try to do better and get your head out of your butt ! I mean it James ! You can do better ! "

So, Mud paid for our meal and bid us farewell, as he headed home. I dove into the sleeper and had Einstein take the wheel. Now, you how at times, you let off steam, and then you fell better. Well, this wasn't one of those times. I knew that James just couldn't cut it. Now, I felt awful and sure wished that things were different. You know, it wasn't because James didn't try and I knew that he meant well. But hey ! Anyway, I decided to hold off on my final decision. We still had about a week left and who knows. Yep, maybe a miracle would happen, as Life Goes On.

Let's break Snazzers, your Snazzy1.

 

I pulled the yellow knob and sashayed into Ed's office. Yep, I'd finally finished up with James and was back in Dallas. Ed was in a meeting, so I made myself at home. Ed rushed in and took his seat.

Ed was Ed, " Well, I see that you made it back. Where's James at ? "

I lit a 100, " He's in the break room. Ed, I have a question for you. Is there anyway that you could team James with an experienced hand ? "

Ed had to ask, " Why ? He's still a student until he gets his student team miles in and passes his solo test. "

I blew smoke, " That's just it Ed. James can't team with another student. He needs someone experienced who can watch over him. "

Ed gave me the look, " That's what student teams do. They work as a team and learn from each other. "

I paused, " Well, how about teaming him with an experienced student. You know, some student that has some experience. Like I was when you hired me on. "

Ed shuffled some papers, " I don't have any ! Matter of fact, if I did they'd be assigned to a solo truck. Look out there ! I've got 20 trucks parked and all of them need drivers. "

I gave Ed the look, " You mean that I went through all that hell with Victor for nothing ! I could of waited a few months and hired in as a solo driver ? Man ! "

Ed laughed, " Barney, in this business, it's feast or famine ! Back when you hired in I was short trucks. Now, I'm short drivers. It's always one or the other. So, what's the deal with James ? "

I tried to be gentle, " James can drive ! He can get down the road and handle a rig just fine. He can even back onto a dock without too much trouble. But ! Well, he can't do anything unless someone is holding his hand. He gets confused real easy and can't remember anything. He just doesn't have any commonsense. "

Ed's eyes lit up, " Your saying that he's pretty good behind the wheel. So, someone just needs to keep an eye on him ! What if I had dispatch do that and help him out ? You know, we have the computers in the trucks now. We can plan his routes for him, where to fuel at, give him directions, and even track him. "

I tried again, " No Ed, that won't work ! Let me put it another way. James can follow directions and he can drive. But ! His problem is he can't reason on his own ! You know what I mean ! He's like a monkey. You know, monkey see, monkey do ! He just can't think for himself. "

Ed didn't get it, " You just said, that he can drive and take directions. Hell, that's all a driver has to do ! It's not brain surgery ! Half of those Idiots out there don't have any commonsense ! Trust me ! "

I gave it one last shot, " The first time that James has to figure something out on his own. Well ! He won't be able to ! There's a lot more to driving than just holding a steering wheel and reading a map. "

Ed smirked, " Sure Barney ! Man, you trainers think that driving a rig is really a big deal ! Back when I drove, most of the drivers couldn't even read or write. Hell, it's child's play now ! The trucks practically drive themselves and all a driver has to do is follow directions ! "

I protested, " That's BS and you know it! It takes someone that can solve problems ! Every day your out there, that's all you do is deal with problems. I feel like a professional problem solver, more than a professional driver. Ed, trust me ! "

Ed made the wager, " I'll bet you that I can take James and put him solo. As long, as he gets proper advise and follows directions. Shoot, a moron with half of a brain can do this job. Bet me ! "

I peeled off a $100, " I'll bet you this hundred dollar bill that James can't make it out of the yard on his own ! Here's the deal ! Let's have him do something that he's not prepared for. Let me think. Alright ! Have him go out there and drop our trailer. Then have him hookup to one. I know that he can't do it ! That's why I planned to do it after we talked. "

Ed tossed his money down, " Bet ! Now, no cheating ! I'll call him in here and tell him. You just keep your mouth shut ! We'll watch from from up here and see how he does ! "

Ed called the break room and James shuffled in, " James ! I need you to go out there and unhook Barney's tractor. Just drop that trailer where it's at and see that trailer over there. Hookup to it and pull it over by the shop. Think you can do that for me ? "

James looked lost, " Barney, are you going to help me ? "

Ed pointed towards the door, " No ! Barney's busy, so you need to do it ! "

Ed gave a blow by blow, " See him ! He's doing it ! Look ! He's rolling the legs down ! See ! Look at that ! He's just pulled the fifth wheel latch ! How about that ! "

I folded my arms, " Trust me Ed ! He's going to screw it up ! "

Ed rubbed his chin, " What's he doing now ? Where's he going ? "

I laughed, " He's probably forgot what he was doing ! "

Ed had high hopes, " No ! See ! He's doing a pretrip inspection and checking everything ! That's good ! "

I giggled, " He's doing his pretrip on the trailer he's dropping ! He's an Idiot and doesn't know what he's doing ! "

Ed defended him, " He can do a post trip inspection ! There's nothing wrong with that ! Look ! He's thumping the tires, he has the flashers on, and he's checking the ? "

I took over the play by play, " He's taking a piss ! Now, he's sucking his thumb and shaking his dodad ! What a deal ! "

Ed pointed, " See ! There he goes ! He's pulling up ! " What's that ? "

I doubled over, " The Idiot didn't unhook the glad-hands and that's the air-lines flapping around. Gees ! This is better than a cartoon ! "

Ed turned red, " That doesn't say much about your training ! "

I rolled on the floor, " It sure says a lot about your students ! Oh wait ! He's not through yet ! Look ! He's still going ! Oh man ! He's backing under the other trailer ! "

Ed ran for the door, " ###### Idiot ! "

So, I watched as Ed chased after James. Yep, ole James wasn't going to let a couple of air-lines stop him. Yep, he backed under the other trailer and was ready to hookup. Ed had a reddish glow on his face, as James stood there sucking his thumb. I picked my winnings and sashayed down. I mean, this was better than Loony Tunes, as Life Goes On.

Nightie night Snazzers, your Snazzy1.