Hi, I'm Snazzy and I'm Trucker

So the adventure continues on for Snazz and Eugene.....
Round 1 goes to our fearless hero's of the highway..
But do the big,bad highway trolls hide in the near future or will the
road warriors make it to their destination without any mishaps...
Stay tuned to the "super Snazzy1 Show"

 

I'm happy see Joellyroll is still with us and chasing after that Georgia Peach. PJW044 put it nicely, stay tuned for the Super Snazzy Show, as Life Goes On.

The alarm spoke to soon, but I knew there was no time to waste. I sat up and gawked around, as my body protested the early morning hour. I slithered into my neatly folded jeans and gave my shirt the sniff test, for freshness. I didn't want to disturb Eugene, but knew that I had to.

I shook his large frame, " Hey Big One ! Eugene ! It's time to get up ! "

Eugene's eyes blinked awake, " Good morning, Mr Goose. What time is it "

I played Big Ben, " It's time to get going ! "

So, after Eugene and I took care of our morning business. You know, bled the lizards, washed up, refilled our thermoses, and restocked our snacks, we set sail. Now, I had left the windows down on that Kenworth in hopes of airing out that awful smell. Well, as I opened the door the odor liked to have knocked me over. Since we pressed for time, I just zipped the sleeper curtain shut and headed out.

I keyed up 16. " Hey ! Big One ! You back there ? "

Eugene keyed his mike, " Yes sir, Mr Goose ! "

I barked my orders, " We'll be hitting Snow Quail Me Pass here in a little while. Just don't get in hurry down and give me plenty room ! This pile of crap handles like a 40 tons of chemicals in a drum ! "

Eugene sounded worried, " Mr Goose, I hope that I can do this ! "

I tried to sound confident, " You'll do just fine ! Your pretty light, just take it slow and keep her head up ! "

Eugene laughed, " That's what they say about bronc busting, keep her head up and your spurs to yourself. Your a Hoot, Mr Goose ! "

I gave my final instructions, " Now, Eugene ! Remember, your going to stay straight and take that second exit. I'll be taking that 405 over to Kent. As soon as your unloaded, head South to Portland and get loaded. I'll meet you there and pickup my load. We should be headed back towards Dallas before noon. You got all of that ? "

Eugene got it, " Yes sir, Mr Goose ! I'll get my paperwork signed and I have my pickup number for that live load. I'll be waiting for you ! "

So, we drove up and then rolled down the other side of the great divide. Eugene did a fine job and I felt much better knowing the worse was over. I swung into the Kent receiver and checked in at the guard shack, before backing onto the assigned dock. The forklift did a fine job of toting away my misery. Yep, in less than 20 minutes, I no longer felt like I was under the gun. So, I sashayed back to the smelly rig and fingered the Quail. Yep, I could picture ole Ed and Crook Jr, doing a victory dance complete with high fives. Anyway, I headed South and swung into the Portland yard. Eugene was nowhere to be seen, but that didn't worry me any. You know, I'd made such good time, that I really didn't expect him, to be there before me. You know what I mean ! So, I backed onto the dock and could feel the rumble, as another load filled the trailer. Just like clock work they had me ready to roll, as Eugene pulled in.

I sashayed over, " Hey Big One ! You made it just in time ! I'll pull out and they want you to back on there. "

Eugene hung his huge head, " I'm sorry Mr Goose for taking so long. I almost never got backed onto that dock where I delivered. "

I lit up a 100, " You did just fine ! Now, see of you can back on there, as soon I get out of your way. "

So, I swung around and watched from a distance, as poor Eugene fought the wheel. Yep, it wasn't pretty, but hey ! Backing is a skill that takes time to acquire. Eugene was still a new bee and just needed to hone those skills into a workable art. It didn't take long and we were set to go.

I keyed the mike, " Hey Big One ! Just follow me and we'll hit that TA to bed down for the night. How does that sound ? "

Eugene had his ears on, " Mr Goose that sounds great ! I could sure use a shower and something to eat. "

So, we played follow the leader again and parked center row. We were lucky that the lot wasn't crowded and found two spots next to one another. I climbed down and we got our game plan together. Yep, we decided that hot showers and a steak dinner was in order. So, that's what we did. Yep, we both felt much better, as we sat with damp hair and smelling like Irish Spring. The waitress kept the iced tea flowing, as Eugene and I ate our fill. Now, you know how it is, when you've beaten the odds and done something that makes you feel proud. You know, it's like you've faced the enemy and spat in his eye. Yep, you've proven your grit and no one can take that away. Yep, me and Eugene were drunk with smell of victory. What a deal !

I paid the cashier, " Everything was just fine ! I sure appreciate it ! "

The Cashier smiled, " You have a good day ! "

So, Eugene and I sashayed. Yes ! I even had the Big One sashaying and no he couldn't sashay anything like Barney Goose. But hey ! No one could sashay like the Goose did ! Anyway, we sat and plotted our next move. Eugene sat behind the wheel and I in the co-seat.

I fingered the Quail, " Yep Eugene, you did everything just right. You sent your arrival message, empty message, in route, loaded, and even typed in your trip report. That's good ! Real good ! "

Eugene sniffed the air, " Do you smell that Mr Goose ? "

I grinned, " Guilty dog barks the loudest ! "

Eugene was serious, " No ! I didn't cut no air ! You can't smell that ? "

I was honest, " My sinuses are all stopped up and I've been in that crappy truck so long that everything smells bad to me. "

Eugene pointed his beak, " It's coming from that old Kenworth ! "

I pointed my beak, " Yeah ! Here, let me roll this window down. Yep, I can smell it now ! Man ! That stinks to high heaven ! You know, I've left them windows down and kept that sleeper curtain zipped. I bet that driver left something back there that rotted ! Gees, and I just took a shower ! "

Eugene held his nose, " Man ! That stinks ! What are you going to do ? "

I gave Eugene the look, " Well ! The employee handbook says that Students have to drive the crappy smelling trucks ! "

Eugene laughed, " Mr Goose, I'll walk back to Dallas ! "

So, me and Eugene, cracked wise about the God awful smelling truck. It was funny ! I mean, we actually witnessed a driver walk past and you'd of thought that he smelled a skunk fart. I was laughing so hard that my sides ached and I had tears in my eyes. Eugene wasn't in any better shape and even began pounding the dash. Yep, we were punch drunk from lack of sleep, still riding high on a job well done, and about to get a double dose of reality. What a deal, as Life Goes On.

Nightie night Snazzers, your Snazzy1.

 

This doesnt smell good. Why do I have a feeling that the previous driver left some kind of a suprise for the ol snazz? I hope it isnt the body of the previous driver.

 

THE PLOT THICKENS. AND SO DOES THE AIR. CAN'T IMAGINE YOU MISSED A BODY. MAYBE A PET OR ROGUE MOUSE OR SQUIRREL ?

 

Success to the wayward road warriors on their quest for a stealthy run to the appointed destination... But, me smells a rat or a cat or a ??????
To the victors goes the spoils of war...??? or spoiled ???

Stay tuned--same Snazz time-same Snazz channel..

 

Starting to Smell........I mean sound like its that driver back there rotting away............hmmmmmmmmm

 

I know what it is! Its my trainers feet!! Yep top bunk is a fine place to collect the funk, I'll bet he left one of his shoes in your sidebox!!

 

Well Lobshot hopes it not the previous driver, Big Duker and Pjw044 are leaning towards critters, and Mc8541ss smells the deceased driver. For having the courage to guess, all above Snazzers are awarded the golden clothespin nose clamps. What a deal, as Life Goes On.

I noticed the dark clouds forming above, as the lightning bolts streaked across the Oregon sky. I had armed myself with a spray can of air freshener and my not so trusty flashlight. Eugene had scooted over into my copilots seat and sat ringside holding his nose. I gulped in as much fresh air that my lungs could hold and yanked on the K.W. driver's door. I blasted away, as Eugene's laughter filled my ears. I looked up to where Eugene sat rocking the cab and mouthed, 'FLUFF YOU' ! Of course Eugene sank to the floorboard laughing and disappeared from my view. I summoned up all of my courage and stepped inside the tomb of stench. I thumbed on the overhead dome light and shot a few more blast of pine needle mist. You know, it was suppose to smell like fresh pine needles. Of course it just smelt like someone had crapped a Christmas tree. I unzipped the sleeper curtain and pointed the yellowish beam in search of the unknown. The oder actually burned my eyes and curled my nose hairs. I retreated back to the cab and stuck my head out of the passenger side window. A bull hauler swung out to escape the foul air, as his bovine passengers bellowed in agony. Some held hoofs over their noses, while others had fainted to the trailer floor.

With great courage and fortitude, I staggered back into the chamber of torture, determined to get to the bottom of the mystery. My yellow beam flickered over the trash filled floorboard. My eyes inventoried the clutter of fast food wrappers, dirty clothes, and used syringe. Do what ? Yep, there laying on top of some wadded up tissue was a familiar item known to me. My old police instincts kicked in, as I slowly knelt to better examine my find. Being careful not to disturb any evidence, I took mental notes and resisted from handling it. Inside the clear plastic tube was a blackish red substance, that told me that the sharpened needle had penetrated a blood filled vein. I slowly stood and backed my way out from the filth, as my mind raced with what-ifs ? You know ! What if someone had overdosed and was still back there ? I had glanced over both bunk beds, but the wadded up blankets could of concealed a corpse. Another what-if flashed by and made it's case. You know ! What if some druggie had shot-up back there and had trashed the place ? I mean, big deal, so what, and who cared ? Yep, that was more likely ! Some drug crazed driver just used that sleeper for a shooting gallery. That happens all of the time and he's probably long gone.

The what-ifs were replaced by the what-nows. You know ! What to do next and what were my options ? Let's see, I could call the local cop shop and have them do a detailed search. You know, in case there was a crime scene to investigate. Another option was to call Ed ! You know, let him in the know and have his say. K-BOOM !........

I was knocked to the floorboard and left in complete darkness. The hair on my face, head, and neck tingled alive. My eyes strung as though flashbulbs had taken their place. It took me a minute to regain my senses, as I felt around in the pitch black, attempting to reclaim my only light. The dome light flickered and then glowed back alive. My flashlight had rolled back towards the sleeper and I was on all fours between the seats. I reached with my right hand and as I lifted it, the dim image took form. I was on my knees and looking straight up at it. Suddenly the driver's door swung open.

Eugene bellowed, " Are you alright Mr Goose ? "

My heart was in my throat, " #### you ! You scared the hell out of me ! "

Eugene plopped down behind the wheel, " It's pouring down out there ! Did that lightning hit you ? It knocked all the power off and ..."

I cut him short, " I'm alright ! But, I don't think he is ! "

Eugene swung his huge head, " Good Lord ! Jesus have mercy ! "

My weakened knees slowly lifted me, " Eugene ! I want you to witness this and watch what I'm doing. It's 2:15 am, central time, so that makes it right at 12:15 am, their time. There is no pulse and the body is cold to the touch. I want us to back out of here and try not to touch anything. "

So, Eugene and I raced back to my truck and got soaked from the pouring rain. I tossed Eugene a towel and made good use of mine. I sat shotgun, as Eugene sat behind the wheel.

Eugene spoke first, " Mr Goose ? What are we going to do ? "

I lit up a 100, " I'll have to wait for this rain to let up and call the cops. I can't believe that we drove clear across the country and ..."

Eugene swore, " Mr Goose ! He wasn't back there ! I looked, just like you asked me too ! He wasn't back there ! I swear it ! "

I laughed, " Well ! He sure didn't walk in there ! Now ! Don't worry about it, because I missed him too ! I mean, we'll have some explaining to do, but we haven't done anything wrong ! They'll just give us the third degree and think that we're awfully dense ! Man ! Just think ! I had that him back there the whole time ! "

Eugene had tears in his eyes, " That poor man, I feel awful, we might of saved him, I'll never forgive myself,........"

I gave Eugene the look, " Saved him ? That SOB ? He's been dead for a good while ! I bet he croaked right after Ed shutdown his truck. Hell, I know that he's been dead, at least a good 3 or 4 days, maybe longer ! "

Eugene reached for his bible, " We need to pray for him and ask God to.."

I read out loud, " Look ! Ed sent us a message, it says to call him ASAP! I wonder what he's doing in this early ? Oh, I'm sorry ! Go ahead and uh, uh, I'll uh, go uh, call Ed. #### rain ! "

So, as Eugene read from his Good Book, I sashayed through the downpour and made it to the pay phones. The TA was still in a blackout, due to the lightning strike. What a deal, as Life Goes On.

Nightie night Snazzers, your Snazzy1.

 

SO this is where they came up with the idea for the movie...

" Weekend at Bernie's "

 

I hope Ed doesnt want you to deadhead back...............