How does a OTR driver manage a relationship?

Discussion in 'Questions From New Drivers' started by LightBulb, Oct 13, 2008.

  1. GasHauler

    GasHauler Master FMCSA Interpreter

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    You also need to sit her down and explain what will be going on. There's always jerks that will try to make life harder than it is and you need to explain to her that they are the minority. I've been married 23 years now and have never even thought about being with someone else. Nowadays you have cell phones and e-mail so you can keep in touch with her. Just lay it out and tell her you're out there to work and you can't wait to be back home in her arms.
     
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  3. kimmeegoose

    kimmeegoose Light Load Member

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    Hubby is in training with his first trucking company. We have been married over 9 years and have 2 teenagers and a 19mo old. Throughout truck driving school and orientation we used a webcam to communicate often. We also talked on the cell phone at least once a day. The baby isn't old enough to talk to him on the phone so the webcam has been great. Now that he is on the truck with a trainer we don't get to webcam as often but we do when we can. We also talk on the cell whenever we can. I just always let him call me because I don't know when he's driving or sleeping. He knows I'm just a phone call away. We also have a trucker's atlas that we highlight the path hubby is taking. We can look at the map and know where he is.

    When he lost the job he had since we got married, he just couldn't find a job around here to pay the bills. He has several family members that are current or former truck drivers. We both went into this with our eyes wide open. We know it will be hard for a while. Not just the time apart but the change in routine. We love each other and will get through this like any other obstacle we have faced. The teenagers understand why he is driving, for our family. The baby asks for Dada and I tell him Dada is at work. Right now, that is the hardest part. It will be a learning process for us all, that is for sure.

    I am just glad that I found this message board. I'm always telling hubby things that I read on here. Some of the tips are very useful and some of the stories are just hilarious. I'm happy to have the support of all of you. Eventually, I might be able to help some people on the board as well.:biggrin_25519:
     
  4. The Challenger

    The Challenger Kinghunter

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    It takes a lot of trust and control to maintain a relationship but in the end its worth it as you enjoy your s/o more. In addition, you build up confidence in one another if you aren't married. My mom is a former truck driver and those are the advice she told me should I ever this profession.

    Hunter
     
    LuckyLady7 Thanks this.
  5. LuckyLady7

    LuckyLady7 <strong>Good Luck Charm</strong>

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    I too am an otr driver and my experience well it started with dating a non-driver....he didn't trust me and it fizzled out fast....I am talking with a driver now and the entire thing is bound by trust....I figure that if my relationship was meant then so be it...if it works great...no sweat here cause I ain't going to give up trucking for anyone...:yes2557:
     
  6. Slam-Bang

    Slam-Bang Bobtail Member

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    "And the road becomes my bride & she keeps me satisfied gives me all I need"

    My first gig was team hauling air freight worked great for 8mo then his wife said it's "ME" or the truck suffice to say that was the end of our trucking duo.
     
  7. cowboy_tech

    cowboy_tech Road Train Member

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    You work for Swift, too:biggrin_2554:?
    Sorry, could not help myself because I feel your pain.
    6 years and now taking home $770 per wk.

    I've been thinking of getting on a regional run. I'm home every night, but that could be 10 at night. Wife and kids in bed when I get home and kids in school when I go to work. The only "good" time I have is my day(singular) off.
     
  8. sweeetface

    sweeetface Bobtail Member

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    I'm so very glad I found this website! I started seeing a truck-driver about 1.5 months ago and things are getting pretty serious emotionally/psychologically. I had been involved with someone for about 5 years who did heavy industrial cleaning and would be 'gone' for anywhere between 3-5 weeks at a time and then home for anywhere between 2-5 days at a time and I LOVED it!!!! It allowed me to get involved in my church and more with my children. I like to be quite independent when it comes to home life, as I was raised by a very independent single mother.

    Alot of people out there seem to see being OTR as a negativity, but I am going on the road with David in December and I'm telling you-I can NOT wait!! We talk anywhere between 1-5 hours every day. I know he doesn't know me that well yet, but I told him I'm not your typical woman and I don't care about his money either-I work 2 jobs and go to school full-time, plus raise kids! I have my own little thing going, u know?! I think he's been betrayed and I realize that as a trucker-that has to be hard....one thing I had learned about someone on the road was that alot of idle time is spent in their own mind-where they THINK about everything and anything while out there..but isn't that what a person seeks? I mean, for me...I want to be that PERSON ON his mind 24/7!! I've lived with someone that was around every night/weekend yet he was not psychologically committed to ME, u know?! SO, David and I are a great match compatibility and personality wise and I believe in my heart and soul we have a great potential future together! I would like to surround myself with other people who have experience and are of great optimism(even though we all know life can be tough at times). Those that 'hang in there' and can take the bad with the GOOD!!!!

    LILBIT-I LOVE your post...and I believe wholeheartedly in every word of it!! You AND he both are very special people ;-). For me, David is gone Monday through Friday and the amazing part is that in this short period that him and I have been seeing each other, we've seen MORE of each other and communicated MORESO then any other that I've met in the 2.5 years I've been divorced/single! He drives more localized, but has let me know that once in a while they may send him out west to Texas or Louisiana. We both live local to each other here in a small rural-beautiful area in ohio....he mostly drives to MI, IL, PA, and FL....

    At any rate, hello to all of you...I am excited to become more acquainted on these boards ;-).
     
  9. Lilbit

    Lilbit Road Train Member

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    Glad you joined us Sweetface! We have great sunofficial upport group here for the significant others of truckers. There is a lot of helpful info, ears to listen, moral support, and even plenty of humor!
     
  10. Infosaur

    Infosaur Road Train Member

    My wife and I have been separated for over a year now (because we had good jobs but in different cities) I haven't had any problem with it because it keeps the little problems (laundry, bills, housekeeping) out of our relationship. When she comes to see me, or I go to her place, (about once every other week) it's like dating all over again. Not a problem right?

    Well my head's apparently not wired like a woman's. She is VERY upset with me for pursuing this career. No matter how much I tell her I'm not thinking about "being away for a month or two at first" becuase my line of thinking is "50k+ a year in 2-3 years" and "after two years of clean OTR, I can get a job pretty much everywhere, even for a NYC based regional"

    So in short my friend, being married means you can NEVER win an argument again. Even when you're right, you're still probably going to be sleeping on the couch.
     
  11. lonewolf4ad

    lonewolf4ad Road Train Member

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    From my personal experience it can be hard on all sides for OTR truckers. Dad was a trucker from day 1 of my life and I was raised sitting on the doghouse (old hands know what I mean). Until I was old enough to go to school I spent time learning to read maps, and run the lies on a logbook. Every summer when I would get out of school either dad or grandpa would take me with them on the road, and when I hit 15 I begin helping with custom harvesting. I miss the road, and luckily I have nothing other than an on/off relationship. I remember though all too well the tears in my mother and sisters (and yes even my own) eyes everytime we had to watch dad roll back out, but we also knew that it was the only work he knew. Sometimes I hate dad for not being there for my football games, my band concerts, or to see me as my date and I got ready for prom, but looking back I know dad did all he could to provide us with what we needed, and wanted....Now I know that the sacrifices he made for us were often harder on him than us, it takes a hell of a good man to stay true to his dream while still giving his family all the love and support he could when times are the hardest.
     
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