How to deal with wife at home?

You've only been married 4 months and she's already really unhappy?

A lot of women really don't deal well with you being gone that long, if she's not really committed to the marriage, look for her to either be screwing someone else while you're gone or you might just come home to an empty house one day.

 

NewNashGuy, welcome to the board and welcome to the Maverick family. My husband got out of his training truck on October 7, 2011, took the evaluation test to determine whether or not he would get his own truck on October 10, 2011 and got into his own truck on October 13, 2011. Thus, he is just a bit ahead of you in his career with Maverick. Since he got into his own truck, he has been home every weekend and has been told that this has been because of the slowness of freight during the winter and he should have less home time starting in the spring. He knows he has my full blessing on this because we have good communication, honesty, honor and love and he knows that I keep myself busy with 6 cats, 7 fish, keeping the household clean, helping out his parents as necessary, sometimes talking to a married couple across the street and playing a few computer games and staying active on this site and the forums associated with the aforementioned online games as well as staying in Facebook contact with my family. Part of the reason he had my full support was that in 1983, I went out for 3 weeks with my father on his semi so I knew that trucking was work rather than play and my husband and I had our 15th wedding anniversary on December 14, 2011 so we are a bit further into our marriage than you are into yours, NewNashGuy.

As to my advice to you, I think part of the problems your wife is having with your new career is a combination of the newness of your marriage, your going into this new career so soon after you got married and you two might not have discussed this enough before you started your new career. Some of the things I have to advise is all of the good things that were suggested by others - try to call her at least once a day (sometimes it is not possible, even if you have the best cell phone provider and the best cell phone plan but at least trying is better than nothing) and when you are home spend time with her and make sure at least some of that time is romantic. Make sure that the time that you do spend with your wife is QUALITY time since that counts a lot more than quantity of time does.

My husband did mention that "gees, I sometimes wonder if you even want me home when I am home and here is someone whose wife is always complaining about his time away!" That led to a discussion of exactly how much time I had spent on my own after I left my parents' houses and why it can seem like I do not mind his being away - it is because his being gone gives me some sense of being on my own even though I do miss him when he is gone. So, see there is a flip side to things.

 

I don't envy you op, hope you told her it gets worse if she actually wants you to succeed/make money lol

 

one point you can try to drive home to your spouse is that your not doing it for selfish reasons you are doing it to try to make a better life for the both of you.

 

You know it really doesn't take a lot to make most of them happy. As long as they know that they're appreciated and not taken for granted, send her flowers for no reason, something as insignificant as a smiling face winking text tells her that you're thinkng of her.

What did she think of you going otr before you married? Did she understand what she was getting into?

 

Don't let your problems at home affect your training. When I used to train I had a lot of students who would be constantly talking or texting on the phone. When I would forbid the student from using or looking at their phone they would get upset with me.

I would tell them that I am not going to let you kill us or the driver next to us because your old lady is pissed you are gone. Even when the student(s) wasn't driving they would be on the phone. I try and show them how to chain up but they were more focused on smoothing things over with their wife or girlfriend.

 

This road is becoming my mistress; its always there, doesn't complain when I change direction, OR decide to take "another road".

Driving the big truck can be hard for folks to understand.

 

My advice......give her boyfriend a hundred bucks and tell him to take her out for dinner.

 

What is more important to you, the open road, or family? I have always had jobs that kept me on the road and I have hated every minute of it. Still I have been married for twenty two years as of Feb. 17. I have a wonderful eleven year old daughter that is still a daddy's girl, even as she is becoming a young woman. Two things have helped immensly. First, they both know that they come first. I went owner/operator in part so that my schedule is my decision. This way I can balance our income needs against the need to be home. Decisions such as time at home are family decisions, not unilateral on my part. Second they have both traveled with me and know what life on the road is really like. Both my wife and daughter feel like they are part of this endeavor and not merely spectators. My wife has told me more than once that getting my CDL was the smartest move I have ever made. Women want love and security, my CDL combined with a good driving record means I can always find a job to put food on the table and a roof over my family's head. The love part comes from you, flowers just because, lots of phone calls, take her with you as soon as you can, etc.