Just some of the stupid things I see

all I know is when I came back from the desert the wife has told me I became the biggest @$$hole she ever knew...and I wasn't the same man that left...it bothers me regularly..cause I want to go back to the way I was but I don't know or have lost the ability to be that man again...so we are both still adjusting to the new me after 4 or 5 years...

 

that is 1 of the many terrible after effects of violence. the scars that linger for years, and ignored or untreated affect how you interact with those you love. keeping you from the relationship you want to have with those close to you.

 

Mic is there support available to you through the VA?

 

There is...but getting to the VA and driving don't go together....But we are working through it...things are getting better...it just takes time and hard lovin I guess...cause without her I probably would be trying to drown myself in a bottle somewhere...

Oh look DB's thread is derailed yet again...

 

only the second time its been derailed........today

 

Dunno, but Florida DOT used to make me do that all the time.

I was a local driver and the route we'd run was the same one trucks would use to bypass the scales on I75. We weren't trying to go around the scales, it was just the shortest/quickest route from point A to point B.

They'd nab me on the back road and force me to do a U-turn to go back to the interstate, and go over the scale. Truck was totally safe and legal, but it was way underpowered and slow, so I would spend way too long in a position where I could have really easily been hit by oncoming traffic during my turn around. Totally unsafe, IMO.

Last time I got pulled over, I actually refused to turn around, explaining that it wasn't safe for me to do so. Expected it to piss him off and was expecting to have to deal with it, but had decided that it was better than risking an accident doing an unsafe manuever right in front of a cop. Actually surprised me that he was really cool with it, and with my reasons for refusing. Sure that it helped that he knew my destination, which had a scale and was actually closer than the state scale, so he just weighed me there and wrote me my overweight ticket based on that weight. He was even cool enough to let me dump my load while he was writing the ticket and just catch him on my way out of the facility 15 minutes later.

I do understand that it could have easily gone very different with a different cop.

 

Continuing with the derailing of the thread.

Life changing jobs/events are never truly gotten over. They do fade a bit. But it only takes a blink of an eye to bring it all back.

Dealing with it will take a huge effort on your part, and it appears you are making that effort.

Eventually, you'll come to the point. Where your wife tells everybody. "Yeh, he's an ###hole. But he's my ###hole. And I love him."

Some things are difficult to discuss with the wife. As men we often think they wouldn't understand. But the act of discussing it with them. Allows them some insight into the issue. Then they can deal with it from their own prospective.

Over the years, my wife has learned to spot the triggers. She doesn't simply avoid them. But she has a heads up.

My wife has been my best friend/therapist for a very long time now.

 

Back to the thread topic...

Yesterday I got a screaming session from a driver I put out of service.

He did not understand why I would not let him take his truck to the yard to get it fixed.

Over hours on log book, no med card, no brake lights, 7 of 10 brakes WAY out of adjustment, and a flat tire.

He said I should be ashamed of myself for shutting him down.

 

Your just a cold cruel heartless Scalemaster!