Manslaughter phobia, and driving a truck.

I don't think that fear will ever leave you. When I first got in a big rig 8 years ago at 22 years old I was scared ####less, but that taught me to respect it. The size and weight of that rig should intimidate you enough that you will learn to respect it accordingly. You will get so comfortable with it that you might use the size and weight of it to intimidate others but one small close encounter will put you right back in your place very quickly.
I used to have this fear of jack knifing in a snow storm while coming up on stopped traffic but after my first year of driving I realized I wasn't that afraid of snow storms anymore. But then one night coming thru Minneapolis in a snowstorm in traffic I hit my brakes and locked them up for a second and I was right back to tenderfooting it.
Last winter I starting hauling logs off a mountain in NW Mt. I was scared right away coming down off that mountain grossing 90,000, 8 to 12% grades on logging roads. After a week I was flying down those hills like everybody else, then one day one guy went down to fast and layed over, no big deal but it could have been a lot worse. The next day everybody was tip toeing down that hill.
Embrace the fear. Feel that tingle. But respect it.

 

I don't know about others but I've dealt with accidents where there was a fatality as a fleet owner and as a driver who was involved in a fatality accident - not my fault or actions that caused a death.

Everyone including myself never worried about this, even after the fact.

Here is the thing ... if you have this on your mind and you will never get rid of it and as mentioned by six, it is your choice to deal with it or let it consume you so if your fear is instilled in you to the point that you are thinking about it before you get into a truck every time then I think from experience that this is where you need to draw the line and find something else to do because one day it will hit you when you need to react and freeze you or force you to hesitate and that's it, your fear may come true.

 

Anyone that has a clue what trucking is all about has thought about this very thing... At least once. I think its natural. Use this fear to maintain your vigilance in being safe on the road, but DO NOT let it become an all consuming fear... At that point you may become a danger to yourself and others. The thing about all consuming fear is that you start to LOOK for that fear, in an attempt to avoid it. But more than likely you will be so transfixed with that fear when you find it that you will be powerless against it.

They say "If you go looking for Demons, Demons you will find."

The same applies here... Or so I believe.

 

Something else to fear, a truck is light aluminum and fiberglass, nowhere you want to be in a truck wreck.

 

Criminal charges stem from negligent actions. Or even gross negligence. If you are minding your Ps and Qs, doing everything proper and appropriate, you will probably never be charged let alone convicted in a fatality accident. However, even when you do everything correct, there will times and events that are beyond your control. That is what attorneys and insurance companies are for. So, be respectful and confident. But don’t get overconfident and complacent. Your judgment - good or bad - in a split second will be the determining factor on the outcome of an accident investigation. Good luck.

 

My take is this.

Fear is good to make sure you follow the rules.

1 for sure or even 2 forward facing cameras isn’t a bad idea. Just in case one isn’t working. For some reason I like redundancy.

It really will help when and hope that day doesn’t come when you need it to prove your case that you didn’t cause the accident.

 

When you stop fearing the equipment, and the road you are on, you become a liability to yourself, and the general public.
Now you are a white knuckle adrenaline junkie.
The world does not need Evil Knievel driving a big rig.
Take some time off and rethink about your behavior or just leave the business.
And go train to be a stunt driver perhaps?

 

Do your job and you'll have nothing to worry about. Why not? If you're doing your job, you are doing a complete and thorough inspection of your equipment so that you aren't operating a defective truck. You are properly securing your cargo. You are paying attention to the road and traffic around you and driving defensively. You are making sure you are not only awake and alert, but also compliant with the regulations.

The people who end up facing criminal charges typically were driving vehicles they knew to be defective, have unsecured freight come off the trailer, speed/tailgate/drive recklessly, or habitually have logging and HOS compliance issues...and if you're doing that, you aren't doing your job as a professional driver.

 

If your not ready to do 20 to life this business may not be for you. In all seriousness, there are thousands of traffic fatalities every year in every state with relatively few big trucks involved. If this phobia helps you understand and focus what your #1 job responsibility is than we're all better for it.
#1. Don't kill yourself or anyone around you.
#2. Everything else is well, secondary.
#3. Don't let anything or anyone distract you from #1.

 

As a truck driver the ratio of people that you want to kill versus the number that you actually do kill is quite high.