Maverick .... from a wife's perspective

RCW, I have felt the pain of watching parents suffer. Both of mine went out in a lot of pain and suffering. My dad was in the same situation as your mom. At the very end I made the call to increase his morphine. I knew by doing this that it would put him out and that I would lose time with him in conversation. My child was just a few months old. His only grandchild and he fought so hard to stay for her. He was very coherent up until the last. He could control the pain med dose on his own. He often delayed it just to be able to be with us. He would wake up and be alert and aware of his surroundings. Only to be in agonizing pain. The doc had explained the last stages to us and his body was trying to clean itself out of all the meds and IV's.

When he got to where I did not think he could control the meds I told the nurses to max his meds. I did not want him to suffer anymore. I just want to encourage you. I know this time is hard time for both of you. I cherish the thought that I was there holding his hand when he passed. This is not a easy time to deal with, but it means a lot to your mom that you are there. You will always look back and remember this stage, but I want to tell you that it does get easier. After the funeral it is such a relief. It is still hard, but it gets easier as time passes. They are never forgotten from our memories, but in time the burden of carrying this gets lighter. May God Bless you and your mom and give you comfort in this time. God Bless!

 

My Dad dies of cancer a couple of years ago. He talked of going home, but I believe that he was speaking of heaven as he kept talking to relative's that had already died such as his mom and brother. He kept telling us that they were just across the river waiting for him, then the last thing he said he was going to them and that was it.... Our Prayer's are with you and yours I know this is a tough thing to go through no matter what your faith is.

 

To be absent in the spirit is to be present with the Lord..... II Corinthians 5:8

 

I'm sorry for the loss of your mom, but glad it went as easy as it did. When both my parents passed, it was bittersweet. I was so glad that their misery was over, but I missed them also.

You want to feel guilty that you are relieved it's over, but you know what they were going through. I was at their funerals thinking how releived I was, and wondered how I could feel somewhat happy. I knew inside that they were not suffering, and in a much better place.

I still see or hear something and think, "I'm going to talk to mom or dad about this", only to remember they are not here anymore.

We're all thinking of you. My wife ask almost every day about you and your mom. Take care of yourself during this. You don't need to get yourself run down and sick on top of this.

 

Rw from the way you described it she was waiting on your sister to get there. Once she was there she knew that she could go in peace since her kids all got to say goodbye. Godspeed to Redcoat on making it to you ASAP. I know that I had one company deadhead me in 1200 miles for a relatives funeral. Company had a policy you will always be in for a family members funeral regardless of what it costs US as a company.

When they had a worker die right after I was forced off the road they had every driver that wanted to be there out of 200 drivers 180 made the choice to be there to say goodbye.

 

Rcw, I'm so sorry for the loss of your Mom, yet I'm glad she has finally found peace. I have not been able to open this thread without shedding a tear for her. Please take all the time you need to grieve and continue RedCoats adventures when you are ready. We all understand and will be here waiting when you are ready.

 

RCW..sorry for your loss. Lost my dad a few ago, and now watching mom suffer with Alzheimers. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.

 

Dear RC wife, Sorry about your mom, but as they say she is at peace now.
Godspeed to you and your family