Maximum Texas is fresh out of School his CDL...but where will he go??

Hello fellow truckers, ex-truckers, wannabees and Swift office employees that decided to follow this mindless thread AGAIN!!

Ever since I retired from Swift Trucking (2 days ago) I have been getting many people that have told me on this board that I bashed Swift and that I shouldn't bash a company that "gave me a chance."....Boo Hoo Hoo!

Let's cut the BS and set the record straight;

Swift "didn't give me a chance"

Giving me a chance, as defined by me and any other normal thinking person, means that I'm driving the truck with a mentor for my 240 hours, that's "giving me a chance".

Swift never got to that point, and I never got the chance....submitting an application is NOT called "getting a chance". Bottom line is that I never got a mentor after waiting over 2 weeks. I never even got a call back.

But I have heard from two anonymous sources that PM'ed me about certain people on this board who do work in the driver services section of Swift in Phoenix, furthermore, it has been indicated, but so far, never proven, that my real name was matched with the posts and my mentorship application was quashed based on things that I stated on this board after I made my trip to Phoenix....coincidence??

As Jesse Ventura would say; "I think not"

If true, then I should start looking at IP addresses with my specialized software so I can make an attempt to track down and connect the dots based on location and posting times.

Should I??
Would it be worth it??

Maybe not and I seriously doubt I will waste my time. In any case, what I told was simply my perspective on what went on when I took the trip. I told the truth and I didn't sugarcoat anything. Why should I? For political expediency? I dont' play politics, in fact, I hate most politicians and besides that, I never was a very good politician anyway.

So what do you want me to say Mr & Mrs Swift corporate butt-kisser?

That they powdered my butt and wiped my azzz from the time I got off the Greyhound? That they fed me Filet-Mignon at orientation everyday instead of the dollar menu every night at burger king, because I had to sell my table saw so I can have a little bit of cash to run with to Phoenix? That all of the people at the Premiere Inn were so, so sweet to me and treated me with kindness, open-arms and love?? That ALL of the donuts were fresh, hot and toasty the entire time we had the "Premiere Inn Continental Breakfast?" That the Swift employees said "Hey, here's a new recruit, lets offer him a chauffered golf cart ride every day around the terminal!!" So I wouldn't have to walk the nearly one mile in the hot sun the whole time I was there?

Truckers are not fools, they have BS detectors and want the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth....and the truth is what I told...

I never, ever disrespect truckers, especially flatbed truckers. That's crazy talk by know nothings on this board who try to define me or put words in my mouth. I would love to have someone tell that to my face in person instead of hiding behind these boards, but that will never happen, I'm a big guy that likes to work out, I can handle myself, can you?

When I say something that may be satirical or in parody, it is usually in fun, jest and entertainment, if you can't handle it, then either grow a pair or get out of trucking like I did (remember, I'm retired from Swift, two days).

Lemme ask you this....why would I bash Swift? Why would I bash a company that is larger than Boeing?? Swift didn't become big overnight. They used sound, strategic business planning and an aquisition plan modeled after the major airlines. If it's good enough for United Airlines, then it's good enough for Swift.

Nevertheless....I don't care, say what you want, I know me better than you know me, besides.....since I retired, I've been kickin it in the hammock in the back yard, either working out or working on my putt putt golf and going down to the Bingo hall for a few rounds (I-22....BINGO!!).

NEWSFLASH: I am going to get back into trucking....but dont' get too excited!

I plan on building 2 model tractor-trailers (1:25 scale), one Peterbilt and one Kenworth. When they are complete, I will attach stage one rocket engines to the undersides of each and race them side by side on the asphalt.....taking off from my fake Flying J truck stop, down the street, rocketing right past my DOT weigh station with fake prepass.

Of course per Swift company policy, I will cap both rocket engines at approxiamately 62 miles per hour....gotta keep it as real as possible.

I will have them fully loaded with cargo, ready to blast off.....well....only until they reach 62 miles per hour.

Who will win?? Peterbilt or Kenworth?? Who knows, they may roll over, jack knife, catch on fire, blow up.....

.....or the most likely scenario is that they will just melt under the intense heat and flame....

But that's part of the fun of retiring from Swift. When you can't get a mentor because someone sabotages your application, you take it as a sign to get out of trucking and think of other fun things to do....like racing model 18-wheelers down the street.

Next up on my retirement world tour is my shuffleboard appointment, wine-tasting, knitting class and a french cooking seminar....yes....even ex-Swift drivers like me, like the finer things in life....

.....ahhhh, the life of a retired Swift driver, not that I ever drove for them anyway....heck, I just got my CDL!!

See ya at the truck stop........NOT!!