Millington didn't prepare me for driving

I know this will come as a surprise to many of you who trained with me in Millington, TN. At that school, we received expert training enabling us to handle 80,000 pounds of freight on the open road and then back it into a crack in the building.

But now, in Columbus, Ohio, I find myself up against terrible odds! The training at Millington was vastly deficient for what is happening to me. Here's the story:

My instructor quickly saw my talent as a driving professional. He decided that boring loops around vacant streets and wide thoroughfares would never challenge my abilities. So, he decided to lead me through downtown Columbus and into the "Short North". This area is packed with cars and pedestrian students....namely 19 year old co-eds! These young PYT's (who are the old Micheal Jackson fans that can explain what a PYT is?) strutting their stuff up and down High St with their pony tails bobbing and taught, tanned young bodies barely contained in tight jeans and shorts provided immense distraction from my job of handling this big rig! I was resolute to impress my instructor by keeping my hands firmly planted on the wheel at 10 and 2, my eyes constantly checking every mirror, and my steely cool mind set closely to my task.

And then it happened......

One of the comely young ladies on the street spotted me in my truck. Obviously smitten by my remarkably handsome features, she snatched up the bottom of her top and bared her breasts to me. Her well tanned orbs were effortlessly breaking all the laws of gravity while she cried out, "WOOOOOOOOOHOOOOOO!!!!! How do you like these trucker man?" Granted, most mortal men would have crashed his foot down and locked up all the air brakes, bringing every slack adjuster to a full 90 degree position. However, I'm not your average Millington protoge'. No, I'm something more! I'm like a granite monolith to truth, professionalism, and driving standards! I would not fail in this task set forth by my hooting instructor. I was intent to raise the bar or excellence!

With the brazen young hussy quickly fading in my mirrors, I continued my drive down this impossibly narrow and crowded road. More girls, barely my daughter's age, smiling in the summer sun, legs crossed while sitting and chatting with friends, and this lonely big box on top of 18 wheels rolling by steered relentlessly straight by me,,,the fetching trucker man perched atop this Truck of Sexiness. I felt like an old sea captain, bravely guiding his ship of souls and cargo through intensely stormy seas. Even a slight sign of fear from me might sink this ship! Yet I remain resolute in my charge up High St. Not once did I stop the truck to invite a young cutie for a ride. Never did I waiver in my goal to impress my instructor.

I broke many young lady's hearts this day...Like a valiant knight upon my steed, I wish I'd have dropped a scarf to one of the waifs. I'm certain she'd have snatched the fabric up with the swift hand of a lonely maiden clutching it to her heart.

Driving a truck through Columbus, Ohio does have it's benefits!

 

Now c'mon Poppy!~

You know I can't take pics! 10 and 2 remember? lol