Please help; too depressed, it won't STOP

Girl, get to the Dr., tell him exactly what you are feeling, when it started and what triggered it. Grab the rope, tie another knot in it and hang on for dear life and believe that it will get better.

I have to say something else related to this thread.....I hear people all the time talking about truckers and what a sorry bunch of people truckers are and I have to say they should all read this, there is more heart and more compassion in this group of people than any other board I've been associated with. It makes me proud to say I'm a truckers wife and these are the folks I choose to be around.

If you pm me as well I can maybe steer you to some assistance.

 

Do you have parents that could let you bunk with them? If so, I would head home to see them. Also get on anti depressant that works. To be driving a truck, you should not be having suicidal thoughts for one. Also, why be ashamed of coming on here and asking for help??? Do not feel guilty of doing that. Nothing to be ashamed of when you have no other places to go. Please fire me off a pm. I can get you headed in the right direction.

KH

 

Get a doc. Asap. Do not kill others because of 1 person.

 

Lot's of good advice on here but the best and ONLY thing the OP can do is what she is doing and that is to seek PROFESSIONAL MEDICAL HELP and TREATMENT!

Depression/anxiety are chemical imbalances in the brain and NO AMOUNT of 'hanging tough' or 'pulling your head outta your arse'' is going to help. Chemical imbalances can be brought on by many things, one that is the most common and most over looked is stress!! The more stress the more the chemicals are going to get out of balance. YES sometimes medications are needed to stabilize the imbalance and then in conjuction with medication, sometimes therapy or counseling.

Susseibright-please please get the help and follow through! You will probably get prescribed medications and then talk---to find the root of your problems- from what you said starting in your childhood so you can UNDERSTAND why and how you are- what and who you are today as we are a product of our environment/who raised us. Please think about getting some type of public assistance to get you through this time-unemployment, a women's shelter, friend, anything but you should not be working in the mental status you are as you are not just a risk to yourself but also to the others on the road. You don't want to know that you may have harmed someone else NOT just yourself.

As you see there are many caring compassionate people here ready to lend a hand, an ear, a ride what ever--please take these offers and advise sincerely as most of the posters are 150% above and beyond some of the best ''people'' I have ''met!''

 

Sammycat could not have said it better. A proper psychriatrist will be able to help you and get on the proper anti-depressant. I would get an evaluation as well to make sure you are in the condition to drive a cmv.

KH

 

Drive in the daytime. Sunlight is mood lifting. It also makes for a steady routine.
Buy some rose colored and bright yellow sunglasses. These will help brighten those gray, dismal days.
Stop every 2 hrs or so and do a brisk walk. Get the blood flowing.
Always park at the back of a truck stop, rain or shine. When you walk in and out, don't saunter, bustle! make yourself walk fast.
Try spicy foods. The capaisin (burning ingredient in peppers) triggers an endorphin [the bodys' feel good drug (runners high without the work]
release. You will feel better quickly. My favs are chalula, hot salsa and pickled ginger (the kind at Krogers sushi bar is what I like, there are lots of kinds).
Do some research on diet and mood. Too much grease can be depressing.
(I'm a carnivore)
Look into neurotransmitters (serotonin, dopamine), see what the current thought is on their levels, how they affect the brain and what kind of food and/or supplement might help balance them.
Another option is holistic healing. Like, have your aura read and your chakras adjusted/unblocked. This is as viable as any. Modern medicine has spent billions and researched the mind for years and they're still fumbling in the dark.
These are all little things but enough littles may add up to something.
Good luck.

More on daytime driving. Learn to use the different functions on the qualcomm. The co. will teach you a few forms important to them but neglect the ones that cover the drivers behind. There is a sign in and off. Use them. The co. will waste your day sitting and then run you into the night if you don't.
Get up in the AM, do PTI (pre trip inspection), sign in and LOG the PTI. This starts your 14 hour clock. It keeps the company from making you sit most the day and then driving you into the night. The co. talks about safety all the time but think nothing about having you drive when you're supposed to be sleeping and sleep when you're supposed to be awake. Once you're on night shift it is hard to get back on days and will cost a bunch of productive hours just like you lost hours to get on night shift.
Guard your routine and work when your day dispatcher works. He can and will help you. Help is not in the night dispatchers job description.
Sign out. This keeps the co. from sending you on a pickup that might cause you to violate the hours of service, which will come down on YOU. HOS is gov't. That means nitpicking, documentation and your behind, if and when, they want it.

 

He's SICK. He did everything he could to make sure I could eat and get my meds and he's one of the only people standing by my side. When he HAD money he helped me without question and went above and beyond for me.

I hate the fact that this man worked his ### off, he was in the military, he was a trucker, he was a student, he worked. He gets sick and can't find work, I'M standing by him. He's having a hard time and is working so HE can put ME through school. He's looked out for me since he met me.. and yet I keep hearing this crap about him hurting me or mooching or whatnot. He feels like a burden to his family and I. He's making straight A's in school bc he's trying to make sure he CAN take care of me somehow.

I wish people would stop! It's probably contributing to the stress factor. If your loved one took care of you then got sick and couldn't, is this what you would say about them?? I hope not. I won't turn my on him bc he's sick.

 

I wouldnt tell your company anything about your depression. I think one of the rules in the FMCSA states you cannot drive a semi if you have mental health issues such as yours.Alot of drivers lie to get their medical card and HAZ MAT endorsement. If you tell them you are going to see a psychiatrist then they might very well stamp something bad on your DAC. Take a leave of absense* and see your psychiatrist get on some medication and hope for the best! One word of advice, if you are running off the road straight off a bridge or cliff,help yourself and jump out before you fall! God Bless

 

So driving a Commercial truck when you are having suicidal thoughts is the right thing to do??

KH

 

Take a leave of absence, get off the road and seek professional help from a county mental health facility.

And if you're doing this job because somebody else wants you to rather than because it's something you want, get out now and stay out. And ditch the pushy arse. There are always places to go.

Next excuse?