So my husband wants to become a trucker

Maybe this guy wants to truck to provide better for his family. Maybe he wants his kids to have a better education. Maybe he wants to get away from his wife, whatever the issue the wife should support her husbands decsion to do what is best for his family. I am not saying because I don't know, but the wife will either make him or break him. I don't make any major decsions without my wife's input, but I will tell you this any woman that I can't trust or will leave me if things get tough I don't want. I am a good husband and a good father. My wife is a good wife and a good mother, sorry you have trust isuues. I don't!

 

And maybe his wife sees the folly of this. Providing everything BUT a husband and father in not "better" in my opinion.

This doesn't relate to the trucking topic at all. There are plenty of families who provide educations for the children and do not drive trucks. Not to mention the fact that in most segments of the population, most people who enter the profession lose money and more often than not are not even driving in a year.

Not if the opposite is true.

Trucking is a lot like Tic Tac Toe, sometimes its better for some not to even play the game. And if it comes right down to it, and the choice is leaving a marriage or go off into the complete unknown that is trucking, and the choice is to leave your partner to experiment, maybe the person left behind is better off without them. This is a major decision and a lot is riding on it. If the partners do not agree 100% on the issue (whatever it is), then the issue is DOA if your goal is to remain partners. Whizzing away you marriage for trucking is right up there with sending your life savings to some Nigerian Prince.. its stupid!

Thats not the issue here, things did not "get tough". Things are being prevented from getting tough by this lady's refusal to allow her husband to trash their future together.

I've been in this business for 24 years and have been married for 21. This isn't about me.. nor is it about you. This is more about the trashing of some new poster and basically making her out to be some evil shrew for not wanting to allow her husband to go out and play trucker. Not wanting her husband to enter the meat grinder that this industry IS, is not evil, its #### smart!

 

OK Dr. Phil why don't you leave trucking and get a TV show?

 

Better Dr. Phil than Jerry Springer

 

I have to agree with Fozzy here. He spelled it all out better than I could have. This poor woman came here looking for help and many jumped all over her. More men might be better off if their wives asked these questions instead of just falling for the recruiters lines.

 

This is the same reason that more vacuum cleaners are sold to men than women...

 

I understand what Tarps is saying.

My husband was a steelworker for 17 years, but lost the job when the mill went bankrupt... taking with it both his good-paying job and his accrued pension.

Sometimes a career change isn't an option. Granted, my husband isn't a trucker, but had he wanted to do that, I would have given him my 100% support.... just as I gave him my support during the full year it took for him to find a job he enjoyed and in which he was comfortable. I married a steelworker, but didn't bail when he was out of work for a year and wound up in a job paying half what the iron company was paying.

There are so many changes during the course of a lifetime, and for a marriage to survive, both partners have to work together and adapt. Perhaps they can compromise -- he could get his CDL and perhaps sign on with a construction company? Is that a realistic possibility, drivers?

Or perhaps they could agree to give trucking a "go" for a set period -- two years or so -- with the understanding that if a local job doesn't materialize, he would find other employment. Who knows? He may find that he hates being away and walk away from it... his curiosity sated... and happily decide to work 9 to 5.

This couple definitely needs to talk.

 

Thanks for all the feed back.

For more of an inside look. I am well off education wise (PHD) and am a child psychologist. One of the first things I made clear to my husband when we first started to date years ago is that I was very against any job that required long term time away from home (army,pilot,trucker,etc). I have seen for years what it does to both the husband/wife and child in my studies. Thankfully we do not have any children together.

And as a matter of fact he was the one who made it clear to me that if I was not "ok" with him being a trucker driver he would divorce me. I was able to get a bit of logic in him, thankfully. He has tired to work with me, however the reality is he tends to run blindly into things without fully thinking and often just thinks of himself and not what his actions might do to others. ( He has been job hoping for years, never finding something that sticks). He feels trucking will bring in the money, yet does not think of the fact that you are working 10-14 hours daily. But what I mainly get out of him is " I will do whatever I want and you cant stop me."

I should allow my first year students to observe our behavior.

 

I knew I was right when I called her a ####. Here are my guesses: Wife makes more than husband, uses that as leverage against him. He is freaking out trying to get out from under the thumb of being screwed with. And it also explains the job hopping. She sounds like an arrogant intellectual, "I know everything and you don't" type. The "Thankfully we don't have any children" is fairly ###### up. ##### you're just treating him like a study, not a husband. You're so ###### up from your own insecurities and the fear of being alone you will not allow him to leave. I hope he does leave you, and you're forced to pay a nice alimony payment to him. Thanks for playing, DIAF.

 

Well, as a person who spent 20 years in the military, and was a military brat for the 20 years proor to that, I would have to take umbrage at the concept of "what separation does to a family" in your studies. I've seen firsthand for many years the effects, and my conclusion is that if the marriage is solid to begin with, separation only tends to make it stronger and enhance the abilities and qualities of the two people involved. If the marriage is weak to begin with, then yes, separation will weaken it further. But I would suspect that the marriages the studies are based on are ones that fell apart, and there are plenty more that did not and never drew enough attention to be included in the studies.

As for the specifics of your marriage, your opinion of your husband and any potential issues that I can think of there, decorum insists that I leave that subject alone. Just based on what I have read here, I do have some opinions already lurking in my mind, but as I said earlier, I don't believe in playing pop psychologist with someone elses situation over the internet.