The OTR loneliness

Discussion in 'Questions From New Drivers' started by Germangirl, Dec 17, 2010.

  1. Germangirl

    Germangirl Light Load Member

    Apr 8, 2010
    All over
    I didn't find a thread about this, which i find surprising by the ONE striking thing that comes for SURE with this lifestyle.

    Everything I believed was "normal" no longer is normal since I came on the truck.

    How do drivers deal with loneliness when they have no home and nobody waiting for them... what about the dream, settling down with One person?
    ... I think, nobody in the outside world can understand what OTR really means, how it gets into your bones. You don't wanna break somebody's heart just because you cannot fulfill the dream... because you're not THERE, and you don't wanna hurt anybody.
    rachi, JReding, Nothereoften and 3 others Thank this.
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  3. 25(2)+2

    25(2)+2 Trucker Forum STAFF Staff Member

    Sep 18, 2006
    the road less travelled
    I'd say it affects everyone differently, and it also depends on whether you truly run irreglar route truckload, or if you get back often because your freight, at least outbound, is from one or at most several, locations. My frieght originated from nearby in my OTR jobs, Backhauls nearly always ended up back near home or set me up to pick up another load to bring me home

    If you get hurt or fall ill, that can affect you differently as well.
  4. KittyKat501

    KittyKat501 Bobtail Member

    Jun 4, 2010
    I have to agree. It depends on how often you keep in contact or get back "home". The part that gets me, is because I'm not there on a daily basis, I don't hear about things (so-n-so in the hospital, etc,) until a month or two later.
    I guess I try to keep that to a minimum by purposefully asking about everybody and everything.
    Having an unlimited phone plan helps.
  5. Lady K

    Lady K Road Train Member

    I will be getting a taste of this in reverse - Hubby starting OTR before me - so we will be separated for a couple months until I get my CDL and trained. Then we are going to team - so I will be home - mushy I know - but my home is where ever my husband is :)
    okiedokie, akfisher, xsetra and 4 others Thank this.
  6. notarps4me

    notarps4me Road Train Member

    Jan 1, 2007
    German Girl. After awhile you look at things from a different perspective. I use to be single when I first started driving. It never bothered me. It helps if you can be like a parakeet content by yourself in a cage.:biggrin_2559: I deployed once while single, then deployed again to your homeland after I was married and had a daughter in the 3rd grade. Driving in today's era is a lot easier. If you make friends on here and keep in touch you will eventually cross paths and meet some of them. I have met quite a few drivers just as friends as I am married and not looking. I know of one driver who I have met that is seeing someone they met on here. You just never know when and where you will cross paths with someone.

    You might meet someone that has the same interests as you. I take it you are solo now. How did you like your training? Is this anything like you expected? One thing that will help you transition your life is to get acquainted with people who do the same thing. I had several people I talked with on a regular basis. It helps pass the time out on the road. Some I would talk with for a good while each week. Was nice to post and find out where people was and try to meet up with them. I have several who still call and I am no longer on the road. If anything you could make some good friendships and that helps take away the loneliness.
    El Paso Bob and Mugsey Thank this.
  7. woodchuck66

    woodchuck66 Bobtail Member

    Sep 27, 2010
    I think you said it best Germangirl...the old "normal" is gone and it becomes a new world altogether when we go OTR. I have made a couple of friends that drive and that helps a little but i still don't know exactly how to adapt to the loneliness just hope that as time passes maybe it will somehow make sense to me and with a little luck get better.
    SheepDog Thanks this.
  8. MrMustard

    MrMustard Road Train Member

    Dec 11, 2008
    Dayton, Ohio

    I think the hardest thing about trucking, after ten years now, is my relationships with extended family and friends. When you are home one weekend a month, my wife and kids pretty much monopolize my time. Now I find myself in a situation where I haven't seen some of my siblings, and some of my best friends in over a decade. I look at nephews and nieces that I was pretty close to on Facebook, and they are all 19 or 20 years old, when I remember them as children. I have a sister that I haven't seen in ten years, and when I tried to contact her, I found that she's downright angry at me for being out of her life for so long.

    This is one aspect of trucking I wasn't prepared for.
    JReding, BigDog Trucker and CK73 Thank this.

    FLATBED Road Train Member

    Cannot blame TRUCKING on not keeping in touch with family , phone call , post card , Christmas card , email , ecte all available.

    I know people with office jobs , home every night , work Mon - Fri and yet have not talked to relatives 10 minutes away in years.
  10. MrMustard

    MrMustard Road Train Member

    Dec 11, 2008
    Dayton, Ohio

    true enough, but we are creatures of habit. Also, I'm the oldest of ten kids, so going around to see everyone every time I get home would be quite time consuming.

    Then there are old friends from college, that I used to go out tearing up the town with on weekends...

    I guess I posted that as a warning to the newbies.
    Time can go by fast, and relationships die, if you don't keep up with them.
  11. ac120

    ac120 Road Train Member

    Aug 27, 2010
    Well said.
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