The OTR loneliness

im in colorado at home but im going out today. dont care, holidays are nothing special to me, except maybe a good 4th of july bbq or halloween party. i could stay home for xmas but i chose not to.

being on the road for me is basically like being at home, just the room is smaller and i have to pay for showers. but im definitely the anti social type as well.

 

i am going to trucking school, and will be a otr trucker in a month or so.
but i did drive from MD to TX by my self to get down here. And I got pretty lonely after about 8 hours of driving.
I found myself texting friends a lot.
But i think a simple conversation with a guy at a truck stop or warehouse would make me a lot less lonely.
I kinda feel a need to tell someone about the weird things i see while driving, but i can't since no one in there to tell.

 

Maybe you will get used to solitude or will find a way to manage it if that really bothers you. I turn the radio on, like the talk radio programs. I love a long, long road (when it's not snowing or raining) and I can drive for 10 or so hrs listening to the radio or the thoughts in my head...

 

I don't see how some of you deal with it. I'm home every weekend, and that's about as much as I can take. There is no way I could be gone for a normal OTR length of time without having my wife with me. When I move in a couple years, I will have no option to drive other than OTR, so we are making plans for her to go with me. If she was with me, I don't think I'd have any issues being out for any length of time.

The cell phone helps a lot. We have a deal where we no longer give any concern to when the other person is sleeping, busy, etc. and do not hesitate to call each other whenever the mood strikes. Makes being apart much easier, especially since you tend to miss each other at the most unusual times. Sucks that sometimes you get woken up in the middle of the night, but not as much as it would suck to be lying in bed missing the other one and not being able to talk to them.

Only thing with the phone is that my wife had to learn some about what I do, and how I am sometimes in a position where I can not be distracted by the phone. I'll pick up and just say, "can't talk now", then hang up before she gets a chance to say a word. She understands what this means, but appreciates that I took the second to pick up and tell her.

I've only had one bad week so far, which was triggered by a text from a friend inviting me to join a bunch of my friends for a drink at the bar next to my house. Not sure why, but it really set me off into a depression until I got home. Had to keep reminding myself why I was doing this, and see what I was working towards, to keep from just driving the truck home. Had I needed to be out longer, I don't think I would have made it.

 

While driving?

 

I'm about to make a career change and get into the trucking industry. Its something that i have always wanted to do. So im gonna go for it. OTR seems to be right up my alley, so doing it for a year after getting trained is exciting! Solitude/confinement is nothing new to me, and i cope with it pretty easily. The reason i say this is, there have been times that i have been deployed ( im in the military by the way ) to iraq, afghan, and other "deserty" places.....being in a concrete cell block aka a guard post, for 12-14 hrs a day waiting for something..anything to happen....while the only company you have is your M-4...and the occasional roving patrol stopping by asking if you have to pee. Solitude has nothing on me. My wife though, she hates being away from me more than a few days. Love my wife to death, but sometimes, absense makes the heart grow fonder.

 

Different jobs attract different personality types. First, men and women are different, despite recent fads in psychology. Women, in general, are much more socially connected and value social connection more than men, in general.

Second, some or many people enter trucking because they don't have strong needs for social connection. Some people enter trucking *because* it is a chance to get away from constant people presence. As you can imagine the people that go into accounting or IT work are motivated by different drives than people that go into acting and nursing. Just like about 10% of people are left-handed and 90% are right-handed. Lefties aren't just righties who failed to focus on the right hand. Introverts are people that don't want or need nearly as much social interaction as the extroverts are certain ALL people crave every moment.

Third, trucking allows you one thing many other jobs don't and that is time to listen or think about whatever you want. Driving down the road you can fill your time with the same Top 40 songs over and over or college-level classes from podcasts. You can spend all day feeling sorry for yourself because you are alone and your family is getting by without you or you can feel pride you are supporting your family and getting to see some of the finest industrial parks in America.

I drove OTR for about 1 year before I switched companies and was able to take my beagle-mix dog with me in the truck. For me that was perfect. It gave me something to focus on besides feeling sorry for myself and that something seemed to think I was the best thing ever. She loves me and wants only to be near me, nothing else matters to her. Then I got into internet audio and podcasting, before there were podcasts, and now value that more highly than everything else about my job.

Every day I learn new and interesting things. I can improve my mind and stay alert while someone else pays me to sit in a climate-controlled "office" and avoid hard work.

If someone is a person that needs a lot of social interaction, as opposed to those that feel drained by being around people, this job is not for you. You can bump up the social interaction some by talking on the CB constantly and treating every cashier, clerk, and waitress as a willing audience and re-tell your stories over and over. But that won't make this job a social job. In the end it is a mostly a solitary job with some social contact, just like teaching children is a highly social job with brief moments of alone time. You have to accept the fundamental nature of the job and then make adjustments for your individual needs.

Most coal miners don't work underground because of a deep desire to find coal, they do it because they have responsibilities to others and their job is good enough. I'd suggest that's the way people should look at trucking.

 

Wow,,how weird,,I am in Colorado as well and will be spending the next two days here...where you at? I am at TA, exit 359 off I-70

SheepDog

 

I feel a basket of mixed feelings at times but most of the time, I love being alone. I have been a team player most of my life and it seems like it has got me nothing but heartache and hell. I have 5 great kids that love me to death and a wife of 20 plus years that well, lets just say is still my wife. I have thought for many years now about just grabbing a backpack, throw the wallet away and seeya. I still think about it but leaving my kids like that, well, just cant do that. So, driving truck is the next best thing. I love being out here alone, yet, I hate it some days as well.

I love this forrum, I enjoy talking on the CB and I enjoy talking to my family and few friends I have. I, like some, have meet a lot of people but call only a few friends and stay in touch with even fewer. I am in the Army Guard and have Comrades that I would die for but that is different than friends and family. There are things that my comrades and I can talk about that most would not even understand, comrades are a whole breed apart than anyone else. But, even Comrades don't stay in touch as much as you would think.

At any rate, FB is great as well...

SheepDog

 

I can't imagine what it's like for a woman, but I have to admit I was amused at first there was a "McDonald's" of Porn out there.

Lion's Den? There's like one on every Interstate! Anyway, there's a reason, (besides the obvious) you get lonely for personal connections. Oddly enough, every time I watched a "chick flick" out there, I'd end up thinking about going into go-go bars.

It always seemed like I never saw any women on the job. Even though I'm sure they were there, I just tunned them out. But then I'd see some DVD with Jennifer Aniston and be like, "Why can't all these women find nice men? We're out here driving trucks! Most of the guys I've met are swell!" *tissue*

Yeah,,, I had to get off the road.