The OTR loneliness

Which is why I have a gaming laptop.

But in the long run, I don't plan on doing this for the long run, at least that's what I'm telling myself so I can swallow this in small bites.

This is my second profession after all so I have something to fall back on should I miss humanity again.

 

My situation is a little different than most. I knew I was going trucking as a child. But I sort of did it out of cussedness because no one gets to tell me what I can and cannot do, such as my family. Part of my family believed deaf people do nothing at all. (In their time generations of deaf indeed did nothing until about the mid 70's) And for them to find out I got a class A and am heading out? HA. That's be the day. What? OMG did that little *&^% really? etc etc etc.

So much for family. It took decades to patch with some of the few survivors the damage.

Anyway.

It is a lonely time OTR. I refuse to worry about it. Literally did not acknowledge it. It's part of trucking at times and you keep it moving. Yer late. My pa and ma did provide a measure of support in their way as the years passed. But I was no mammas boy or a daddy's coward. Trucking was what I chose and here I am. It's not much but it's something.

Fast forward decades. I meet someone and frankly that was a good story of itself. I never left. Got married and became a homeowner etc. What I did not know then was medical stuff due to almost 20 years worth of no doctors at all except for the occasional butcher in the ER took their toll. Cancer did some damage on top of that. Ive already been killed a number of times but its not time yet. There will be not too long from today.

No I am not lonely. It does not compute in my thinking. There are a handful of people who are teamed with me and so on and things are doing well considering. I'll die a trucker, happy on the Cabbage 2000 miles from home. Or at home.

Now the closest thing to lonely is missing certain things and places. That's ok, times have changed along with the people who live there. So it's not as important as it once was.

 

I don't mean this to be offensive, however I know it will be took this way. I pity people that can be in a room full of people and still be lonely! Nobody seems to have a sense of adventure much anymore when it comes to handling those times when you are alone. I will say this. Driving a CMV requires 100% of your attention. I don't care if you are OTR, local or hauling rubberized dog excrement out of Omaha! This is why I have said stop at least every 90 minutes and walk around that rig. That few minutes you start to let your mind wonder is when that little white Honda slips into your blind spot. It is also why after 11 hours of driving a driver should get out of that seat and take a long break. One thing I started to notice in my last 10 years on the road was more and more drivers simply stopped socializing. I can remember when drivers would sit around the tables giving each other heck and the waitress almost as much heck as she was giving them. This activity made life on the road tolerable, but something happened and it stopped. So trucking has turned into this lonely existence? Each and every driver that feels these emotions should do a critical self assessment!

 

It's the smart phone, everyone is looking at their phone all the time.. In bars, restaraunts, break rooms, everywhere.
Everyone is staring at their phone, except for that weirdo over there, he looks odd just sitting there. So we really concentrate on our phone so he doesn't start talking to us,

 

I can sit at a table with 4 people around and they are all engrossed in their phones. Me I just look around to find something interesting. I remember when it was considered to be rude to be looking at your phone when others were around. Ah, just like trucking.....times have changed.

 

And besides Trucking is what you make of it. I don't consider myself to be lonely while I'm out. I get enough interaction with shippers and receivers on a daily bases. And when I walk by another driver I nod and say hello , or good day.. I don't walk around like some of those zombie types you see.

 

That would be people like me. The only time I feel lonely is when I am in a room full of people. I know it sounds stange. I think it's Intovert vs Extrovert.

I don't want to go around and meet a few dozen people, that's not enjoyable to me, I'd rather sit and feel "alone" than to go mingle like that. I only want to meet a few people for a longer amount of time.

It takes a bit, but you kinda get a sense of where someone else like that is in the room. You get a sense for it when you are not busy mingling or "distracted", if that makes sense. Thoes "lonely" people will find each other in time. And that meeting is all they need or want.

Lots of short term or a few long term. Just different perspectives.

 

Exactly, could not have said it better!

 

My last few years on the road I would sometimes get my laptop go buy a newspaper and sit. I would give the waitress a good tip and sit and drink coffee and just stay quiet. Then as people started to come around I turned my attentions to them. I guess I am one of the people that would get arrested because I love to observe people even little kids interact with each other. I have had these conversations in here with @TripleSix about staying quiet. However today it seems more and more that it goes more to becoming antisocial. Example? I was sitting in the restaurant at the Duncan SC TA jeez had to have been at least 20 years ago. This was back when these counters had those phones. A guy was talking on one and all I did was ask for the salt and pepper shaker. The result was not pretty. Some people (not just truckers) have become so dang antisocial that it has started to scare me! I am not talking about people on a smartphone either. I mean mean irritable almost unstable antisocial.

 

Lol, I would have given you both barrels too.
Its hard for me to understand why someone would think thier salt and pepper would be more important than the phone conversation I would be having. Hashing out load details or talking with the wife.

It's just something I would never do. I would walk to the far side of the room for salt and pepper before asking someone busy with something like that. Two people sitting together talking between themselves would be different.

Not that it's really a big deal, it shouldn't be. Much easier for me to hand it to you than for you to get up and walk somewhere for it.

Maybe some of us just grew up without that (closeness?).