To dodge a pan handler

Sure is a lot of different opinions. Different areas bring different kinds panhandling. Lived in OK and Las Vegas. Both run mostly crews, watch vans rotate em. Like others, I will always offer a meal or my coat if they dont have one. Had very low percentage take me up. I have always followed thru. Its not up to me to judge. It IS up to me to be responsible with my families money. Just giving to anyone who asks doesnt work for me. I have yet to find an acceptable solution for this dilemma, so for now I donate to homeless veteran programs and offer food and coats. I was homeless once when a teen, vowed and by the grace of God have not been homeless in almost 40 years. I sure do feel for and see a lot of mentally ill homeless. I wish I could fix it and make it better. I try in my own small way. It makes my heart hurt. Sorry for the rambling, its something very near to my heart.

 

This a great thread. I totally get those say, "don't be an enabler".
It is hard to know if we are really helping or not.

It is better to wrestle with our thoughts on such an issue than to ignore it. This isn't like politics; this is face to face reality we all encounter. So, it deserves our attention and best efforts to understand more than some abstract issues we may like to argue about but can't much affect.
I look at it this way: Though I can't always figure out if giving is right, I choose to err on the side of giving. It's the same principle as letting a dozen guilty people go free rather than condemn an innocent person to prison.

My last thought on this is that it doesn't hurt to engage a little with beggars. Their stories can be interesting and we may have very helpful suggestions once we learn a little about why they are in trouble. Sure, we will get taken advantage of sometimes, but the cost of that isn't much compared to the pleasure of really making someone's day who needs some love. One time in a fifty or a hundred, we connect with a person we can genuinely help in a significant way. Seeing one other person get back on their feet and back into a functional life and knowing you made that possible is profoundly satisfying and easily justifies the few hundred bucks we might imagine we "wasted" on "lazy bums".

 

My dads response is usually something along the lines of "I was just going to ask you if you had x amount to spare!"

Personally I just tell them I don't carry cash (usually the truth) and offer them a bottle or two of water and some crackers.

 

"I'm going home!"

 

Probably because they are afraid that a soccer mom with a minivan loaded with kids will kick their arse!

 

There is nothing wrong with helping a person who is down on their luck. I've helped out people a few times. Generally you can tell the difference between a mooching bum and someone who just needs a little help. And even if I accidentally helped a bum, the point is I tried to help. It isn't about enabling them or anything else like that. Sometimes the guy asking for some gas money really did lose his wallet. Or maybe he was pickpocketed. If he was, help restore his faith in humanity. 20 bucks is a small price to pay. Years ago, just before Christmas, there was a lady in S. St. Paul, who told a story about getting abandoned because she wouldn't "put out" for the guy who was supposed to be teaching her to drive. She lived in Louisiana. Several guys got together, myself included, and gave her the money for a bus. Another driver gave her a lift to the bus station. She promised, if we gave her our adress she'd mail back our money. Well, January 8th or so, I got a Christmas card with my 30 bucks returned. Also had a picture of her and her kids, and the kids signed it thanking me for helping get their mom home for Christmas. Not everyone who needs a hand is a thief, a bum, or a drunk drug addict. Some people really need the help you'd need if you where in the same boat.