Top 10 Recruiter Questions

"Will the company supply a money manager to handle the 100k I'll make my first year?" ...

 

When I read this "(even if we've somehow managed to put on 210 lbs and lose all but 4 teeth since our "super secret deployments") " I knew he was referring to impersonators and intended no offense to real veterans

 

how long after i am hired will i of have a ranch with 100 head of cattle, horses, 2 pole barns, one with 2 classic muscle cars and 2 harley davivdsons and a brand new f350 diesel powered dually for the wife to go into town with?

 

OK, I'll jump in... Both feet !

I wear Cowboy boots, guess they have pointy toes, I like um, they're comfortable. They go along with my Blue Jeans and yes on occasion a Western Shirt that I wear.

I also have steel toed boots and work pants for when I need them too.

I don't have a huge belt buckle though. A simple leather belt holds my pants up just fine, pants never hang half way down my ###.

I don't wear a Cowboy hat, ( though I do own several). Nor do I wear a baseball cap. ( I don't play baseball) If I did though I'd be smart enough to know which part of the hat faces forward. Instead I wear a Fedora, like my Dad did, and his Dad did.

I have my own teeth ! I know they're mine because when I take them out, they have my name stamped in them.

Hummm.... I always trucked out of Chicago, even worked 10 years local. So yes, I probably have more miles backing blind side through alleys and into docks than the OP will EVER have going forward.

In my old neighborhood when it was hot, we all wore "wife beaters" better know in my crowd as "Dago Tee's " . I still do wear them.

My Company truck does run" triple digits". 68.3 to be exact. Yet I DO know how to wait till I get out of the parking lot before I'm in high range.

I served, have the DD214 to prove it. Nuff Said.

I could go on, but suffice it to say, though the post is done tongue in cheek, there are a bunch of us out here who see the whole" flippy flop, short wearing, backward baseball cap wearing, I know everything cause I can shift gears, I got it coming cause I showed up crowd as a rather silly bunch.

 

"Is there room on the dog house for my 6,000,000 watt linear for my incessant radio checks ?"..."Can I write up my lot lizard fees as a legitimate expense ?" "Can I stay out for 9 months at a time and then do a 34 hour restart and do it all over again" ? "Do you provide TRIPLE loose leaf logs" "Do you speak Spanish "? "Are my last three DUI convictions going to matter in the hiring process "?

 

Will you send my signing bonus to the house before orientation? I need gas money.

 

Very funny!

 

Does the truck come with a pee jug and 5 gallon bucket?

 

Will the the yard dog empty the trash pile out of the passenger side floorboard while I'm on home time every weekend?