What do you do at the TS on New Years Eve

Sitting parked at a truck stop in the middle of no where
All by myself, without the company of good beer.
So many others partying and bringing the year in new
While I twiddle my........thumb....with nothing to do.

I jump out of the truck because it's a bore
and walk over to the truck stops tiny food store.
Hmmm "what to buy...to bring me good cheer?"
ahhhh...##### i say when they yell "we don't sell beer."

"Well, what else you have, how 'bout a little scotch?"
"Haha" the clerk chuckled as he scratched his unbathed crotch.
So I slinked back to the truck and looked around the empty lot
sighing...."Man it truly sucks to sit here and rot!"

Out in the distance I watch a bear stop
watching for drivers to come over the top.
He will write up bogus tickets to bring in the next year
The busted drivers glare at him while giving a snear.

"Listen you little cub, you think you the man
just because that badge you have in your hand
If I had the chance to the back row you'd go
Where we'd turn you out and call you buffalo"

The trooper started to quiver and pee down his pants
"I better leave here now, while I still have the chance"
Off in his car he drove through the snow
With a few angry truckers hot on his toe

The evenings entertainment sure rose a clatter
Now it was time for my Hungry Man platter
Sloshing through the snow, all I had was wet feet
Wishing my next stop would be a shiny black Pete

As I got to my truck I looked down the short row
and climbing in a Schneidy truck was this 300lb ho.
"Whoaaa Neelllyy" I screamed as that Pumpkin started shakin'
Under my feet I felt the earth quakin'

That truck kept on shakin' rattling and rolled
The poor driver wasn't gonna live to be wrinkled and old
It finally was over the lizard rolled out
From the truck's cab window, the nasty, fat driver did shout

"Whoa lady, thanks for the fine sweaty beave
Here's yur $5 dollars you may now take your leave"
So let that be a lesson for you drivers to see
No matter where you are, you can have a New Years Rockin' Eve.

 

I thought drivers were always trying to "get more for their money"?