I thought I would chime in here and see if there is anything I would have to say that might help out Car.
I am the step-son of an OTR driver. My bio-dad left when I was one so I didnt know him. My dad married my mom when I was 3. That is why he is dad and not step-dad. Anyway, I sit here now looking back on all those years and wonder how it could have been much worse. I was never close to my dad. I am not sure he ever wanted to be close. However, we had a good home, food, and someone to call dad. There were hard times for us. I never had a real conversation with him until I was in college and even though I was a football and basketball player I didnt know he was too until I was a senior in high school.
I am quite certain I missed a lot of things with my dad. However, I had a good mom who did all the things she needed. It was by no means perfect (esp. my teenage yrs) but in the end it worked out.
So, here I am with a son of my own getting close to taking the plunge into a career that so many in my family have chosen. I know it is hard. I know in some ways it doesnt make sense. But I also know it can work. There have been many good suggestions like calling at the same time every day. There are also a million negative stories about how it all fell apart. I dont know which way any of this will go. I do know that we have to do what we have to do. I feel like I would be happier providing for my kid and trying a local job later. That way I can be home at least on the weekends. Anyway, that is just me.
What I am trying to say is, we made it. The older I get the more I respect what my dad did. He wasnt there because he was working. I guess that just didnt really bother me.
I wish you the very best with all this. It can be done.
What no one is saying
Discussion in 'Con-Way' started by Car, Jul 28, 2010.
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Thank you Red Beard, thanks for jumping in.
Let me see if I can write this as I am thinking it....
So tell me this, why when your family is on the line. Is the answer trucking, trucking or trucking?
Common sense says this to me if it came down to me loosing my family, I would take another job out of the industry.
Example: I worked as a manufacturer's sales rep working for a brokerage when my kids were small. Loved my job, loved the people I worked with.
The opportunity came up that I could go fulltime with more money, but it meant leaving my kids for a week and home on the weekends.
It was quite obvious, that it wasn't in the cards for me. I couldn't and I wouldn't have. We certainly needed the income at the time. I could have played the "money card".
Kids are only young once. You get one shot at being a parent. Period.
Now, one more thing as long as I am preaching
Remember that song "Cats in the Cradle?"
When you coming home dad, I don't know when but we'll get together soon son.
If you know this song, you know that over time the song changes to reverse the father calling the son.....the son's response back is.....we'll get together soon dad.
You know it's not only the games, school events father miss, it's the bike chain that won't go on right, the fall off the bike where the knees and elbows are all scrapped up. That bad dream during the night when being told it's ok, might be more convincing from dad?
My dad was gone alot, when my sis and I were growing up. It was close to the same as trucking. He also farmed/ranched also. He coped by drinking. He was a workaholic and alcoholic. By my teen years, the family was affected terribly.
I was the Daddy's Girl. I loved my Daddy.
The more my father threw himself into his work, the more dependent I became on my mom. At 16, I left the house. My little sister was the poster child, perfect grades perfect daughter. What she wanted, she got. She still feels owed.......the money.
I have had a few people say, just stick it out and enjoy your husbands money. Live like a queen for once.
So now you see from my side, what a father really meant and what money did.
Pondering, you know I mentioned awhile back that in a lot of the wives groups, sacrifice was the most common reply. But, I am seeing a tone here where trucking always means trucking?
Sorry kind of went off the track here.NDBADLANDS Thanks this. -
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I understand what you are saying Car.
I think I wrote what I did in hopes of giving a little positive reinforcement. I am not in a position to justify anybodies actions except my own.
Having said that, I see it being about adaptation before sacrifice. A lot has to change in order to make it work and both parties have to do their part. The pressure is on the trucker to prove he is worth it. That is the way I see it. Make him prove it can work. I guess that is what my dad did and that is what I plan on doing too.
I dont know for sure how we made it work in my family but for the most part we did.
Jim Croce and Cat Stevens always make for a good playlist.
GuysLady Thanks this. -
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