What's the stupidest thing you've ever had a dispatcher or office rat tell you?

What kind of safety manager is he? He doesn't know his stuff.

The CDL handbook states 1 sec for each 10 feet of vehicle length. If above 40 mph add one second. A truck is about 65 feet long, so it needs 6-8 seconds for safe driving. It takes the brain 1 second to recognize a brake light and 1 second to move your foot to the brake pedal. Your safety guy done rear ended someone, lol.
Most don't follow this recommendation, but it's in the book.

 

This thread is gonna go on forever,and ever,and ever..................

 

Had a recent one...Boss tells me to take this nice paved road untill it turns into gravel. I'm like OK, no problem, he than says to take the next left, you can't miss it, its the last road to the left after the pavement ends.. He didn't tell me that there were 8 miles of gravel between the end of the pavement and the next paved road, through National Forest lands.


Others that I get frequently are "if you get to the bridge, you went too far" or "its the only house on the road"

 

My dispatcher tells me to go across the street, gives me the building number, and hook up to an OLD Ruan trailer, and take it to our other plant 4 miles away. I Say O.K. go to hook up. This Trailer has been sitting for 15 years in one spot, Back Tail Lights fell out, just hanging there, No Brakes, Landing gear stuck, but I had a spotting tractor. I call HER up, she knows Nothing about trucks, and she yells at me, saying "I told you what to do", I explained to her, but still "I told you what to do, now DO IT." I hang up the phone and call the Fleet Department, The big cheese answers it, Told Him the story, he says, I appreciate you calling me. They call her, and Tear her a new one. So I call her on the 2 way radio, I'm Still on Stand by, She says come see me in the office. Go there, Why did you call fleet on me? Because you wouldn`t listen to me, I told you this trailer was not LEGAL for the road, and you just would not listen. Well for 2 years she tried everyday, and I mean Everyday to get me fired. Finally they got rid of her. Thank God. Dammn Headache.

 

Wow, there are just too many stupid things to list... So, I guess I'll go with the most recent:

Dispatch: Bad weather? It's sunny and fine outside.

Me: Are you by the office window?

Dispatch: Yes

Me: Can you please look outside?

Dispatch: OK? Now what?

Me: Do you see me out there lookin' at you?

Dispatch: No

Me: Because I'm over 700 miles northwest of your location, dealing with freezing rain and snow... In MY location the weather sux!

 

That was good, thanks

 

was told one time you can sleep when your dead you dont need 10 hrs off we need the load to get there

 

I never want to hear a driver use the excuse of no hours as long as we have blank log books here in the office.

 

My two best ones. Phone rings. I'm 3+ hours from where I shut down and our trucks have gps tracking. "why aren't you moving?"

On the same load someone at the company screwed up the consignees address. 4 qualcomms and a phone call and still it didn't get straight until I sat down with the logging Nazi.

There was this night/weekend dispatcher that kept banging on me to "go as far as you can". I had exactly 30 minutes left.