Why do I drive A Truck?

This is a slightly reworked version of a "poem" I wrote years ago.


The crack of dawn awoke me and
I opened up one eye carefully,
So my eyeball wouldn't shatter.
O God, my HAIR aches.

Rolled over and was treated to
a nose close stare by Puss Cat.
Jerk back and bump Dear Wifey, bad mistake,
Who sticks her elbow in my ear.

Twisted round in innocent protest,
Wifey turns and sharply raises knee.
I gotta start wearing a cup to bed!!
Barely stifle scream.

Puss Cat's moved down to my bottom,
Protests the jostling with her claws.
Then stalks off in highest dudgeon,
Having moved me foreward to knee again.

Crawl from bed with strangled whimper,
Search for slippers with trembling feet.
Thus encounter young Puss Kitten
Who climbs pajama'd leg to say hello.

Limp to bathroom to search for band-aids,
Quick shower, decide to shave; bad move.
Puss kitten returns and demands attention.
Must buy bandages; several boxes.

Stumble to bedroom, look for clothing,
Sit on bed to pull my pants on,
Step on slipper, think it's Puss Kitten.
Recoil in horror, fall on Wife.

"I love you" Wifey murmers softly,
A sleepy smile, she lifts her arm,
Her fist, my nose they make conection.
Try to keep blood off her favorite bedspread.

Head downstairs trailing gauze,
Twin felines anchor me.
Thump bump, thump bump, I'm in the hallway.
Need coffee black, decide on brandy.... medication.

Make coffee, feed the kittys
Carefully slip out kitchen door.
A passing bird spots on my forehead;Lord it figures.
God, get me to my truck please.

Some men work for money, some for power.
Some for satisfaction of a job well done.
I drive a truck for a different reason.
It's the only place I'm SAFE!!!

 

You welcome.

 

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Picture of a white cat walking away in a snowstorm whilst ignoring you.

 

Y'know, there's an old saying that folks who "can't be around cats" were mice in a previous life.... and those symptoms sound a wee bit mousie to me.

Seriously tho, I do understand and you're excused.