Oh, where do I BEGIN?! Why would Kim Kardashian be a horrible trucker? Is she good at anything? Well, according to a certain tape that made Internet rounds awhile back maybe one thing… oops! Sorry! I’ll keep this at least PG-13 rated, and NO, I haven’t seen the tape! What is she good at? Being famous, apparently; I just can’t figure out why! How did she even get famous? Huh?! Okay, somebody speak up and tell me why this woman is famous, and if you’re a fan, definitely speak up, because, honestly, I don’t get it or her or why she would even have fans.
Moving on… Kim Kardashian and trucker are two words I don’t ever see being used in a sentence together without some form of mockery. So, yes, I’m going to go there. Let’s throw out some reasons why Ms. K would be horrible working within our beloved industry. Sure, she’d make a super-hot truck driver – she is absolutely gorgeous! I won’t deny that the woman is beautiful! But seriously? Can you see her behind the wheel of a big rig? Neither can I, and here’s why!
I will place reason number one in the form of a question: Will Ms. K’s behind actually fit into the cab of a big rig? Oh, stop groaning! A blog about why Kim Kardashian would stink as a trucker HAS to begin with a butt joke; there’s a law somewhere, I’m sure of it! Seriously, though, that is one rather abundant derriere, and it would be a bit hard to sling that posterior up and into the cab, especially with 5-inch heels on and the tightest skirt known to humankind.
Reason number two: Does she actually work? I mean, what does she do exactly? No, Ms. K doesn’t work long hours hauling goods across country in some of the hottest weather known to humankind. No, she doesn’t spend hours trying to stay awake while viewing some of most boring scenery America has to offer! She makes tabloid headlines and stars in a reality TV show that, for reasons unknown to even God himself, people watch. Can you see somebody that spoiled and – well unemployed so to speak? – driving long-haul transport?
Wait, she owns a retail store chain with her sisters, right? She must work there when she isn’t getting drunk or pregnant… or both in the same night. Okay, this is promising! Perhaps Kim would not suck as a truck driver if she understood how her clothing actually gets to her store. We might be able to spell it out for her. Let’s try! But let’s keep it simple, cause… I’m really being mean, aren’t I?!
Okay, Kim! Pay attention! After the clothing you sell at your store is manufactured in sweatshops overseas, it’s shipped to the United States – that’s the country we’re in right now – and loaded into the trailers of big rig trucks – you know the really big vehicles you see on the highway while you’re being chauffeured around. These trucks are driven by, well, truck drivers, and it is these trucks that get your clothes to your stores so you can sell them. What’s that, you say? You wanna be a truck driver? Okay!
First, you have to get a driver’s license, and not just any kind, a CDL, which stands for Commercial Driver’s License. What? No, Kim, you can’t have your chauffeur drive your rig. You have to pass a written exam and driving test to get your CDL. What? No, Kim, you can’t have your assistant take the exams for you. Then you have to get a job driving for… Kim? Kim?… KIM!!! Okay, we’ve lost her! Maybe it was the word “job.” You think?
Okay, I’ve been mean enough. Why do you think Kim Kardashian will never make a good trucker? Let’s keep this conversation going in the Comments section of this post! And I was serious at the beginning. If you know of a good reason why this woman is actually famous, speak up! If you’re a fan, speak up and tell us why. Seriously! I may have just made her the butt of this blog – yes, that pun was intended – but there’s got to be some good reason why this woman is famous for being famous!
How do people like Ms. Kardashian become stars? Check out these links for the answer:
- Reality TV: Low Cost Programming That Produces High Ratings – South University discusses why Reality TV has become the network darling of TV production.
- Reality TV: A Brief History – Oregon State University gives us the history of reality TV to date.
- A Critical Guide to Reality Television – Texas Christian University’s Media Studies program provides an all-inclusive guide to reality TV with links to different topics.
- Reality TV: A Blessing or a Curse? – Carolin Lehmann analyzes the influence of reality TV on American society in this abstract.
- Reality Television – Several brief papers on reality TV written by various Bowling Green State University students are presented in this link.
- Probing Question: Why Do We Love Reality Television? – Penn State asks and answers the million-dollar question in this link.
- An Exploratory Study of Reality Appeal: Uses and Gratifications of Reality TV Shows – University of Illinois at Chicago students discuss how reality TV makes us feel good about ourselves in this PDF paper.
- The Real Deal on Reality TV – Monmouth University’s The Outlook reporter Erin McMullen gives her take on why reality TV is so popular.