What if it Snows?

Ya he drinks like a fish then wants to eat them.

 

Okay then, No Snow In This Post, like it wood matta of that I'm aware.
Speaking of drinking:

Date Received: Monday, March 06, 2000
How Men and Women Change Oil
Women:

1. Pull up to Jiffy Lube when the mileage reaches 3000 since the last oil change.
2. Drink a cup of coffee.
3. 15 minutes later, write a check and leave with a properly maintained vehicle.

Men:

1. Go to O'Reilly auto parts and write a check for 50 dollars for oil, filter, oil lift (AKA kitty litter), hand cleaner and scented tree.
2. 2. Discover that the used oil container is full. Instead of taking back to O'Reilly to recycle, dump in hole in back yard.
3. Open a beer and drink it.
4. Jack car up. Spend 30 minutes looking for jack stands.
5. Find jack stands under kid's pedal car.
6. In frustration, open another beer and drink it.
7. Place drain pan under engine.
8. Look for 9/16 box end wrench.
9. Give up and use crescent wrench.
10. Unscrew drain plug.
11. Drop drain plug in pan of hot oil; get hot oil on you in process.
12. Clean up.
13. Have another beer while oil is draining.
14. Look for oil filter wrench.
15. Give up; poke oil filter with Phillips screwdriver and twist it off.
16. Beer.
17. Buddy shows up; finish case with him. Finish oil change tomorrow.
18. Next day, drag pan full of old oil out from underneath car.
19. Throw oil lift (AKA kitty litter) on oil spilled during step 18.
20. Beer. No, drank it all yesterday.
21. Walk to 7-11; buy beer.
22. Install new oil filter making sure to apply thin coat of clean oil to gasket first.
23. Dump first quart of fresh oil into engine.
24. Remember drain plug from step 11.
25. Hurry to find drain plug in drain pan.
26. Hurry to replace drain plug before the whole quart of fresh oil drains onto floor.
27. Slip with wrench and bang knuckles on frame.
28. Bang head on floor board in reaction.
29. Begin cussing fit.
30. Throw wrench.
31. Cuss for additional 10 minutes because wrench hit Miss December(1992) in the left boob.
32. Clean up; apply Band-Aid to knuckle.
33. Beer.
34. Beer.
35. Dump in additional 4 quarts of oil.
36. Beer.
37. Lower car from jack stands.
38. Accidentally crush one of the jack stands.
39. Move car back to apply more oil lift (AKA kitty litter) to fresh oil spilled during step 23.

----------------------------------------------------
Date Received: Mon, 1 Feb 1999

1. In the company of females, intercourse should be referred to as:
   1. Lovemaking
   2. Screwing
   3. Taking the pigskin bus to tuna town
2. You should make love to a woman for the first time only after you've both shared:
   1. Your views about what you expect from a sexual relationship
   2. Your blood-test results
   3. Five tequila slammers
3. You time your orgasm so that:
   1. Your partner climaxes first
   2. You both climax simultaneously
   3. You don't miss Sportscenter
4. Passionate, spontaneous sex on the kitchen floor is:
   1. Healthy, creative love-play
   2. Not the sort of thing your wife/girlfriend would agree to
   3. Not the sort of thing your wife/girlfriend need to ever find out about
5. Spending the whole night cuddling a woman you've just had sex with is:
   1. The best part of the experience
   2. The second best part of the experience
   3. $100 extra
6. Your girlfriend says she's gained five pounds in the last month. You tell her that it is:
   1. No concern of yours
   2. Not a problem, she can join your gym
   3. A conservative estimate
7. You think today's sensitive, caring man is:
   1. A myth
   2. An oxymoron
   3. A Moron
8. Foreplay is to sex as:
   1. Appetizer is to entree
   2. Primer is to paint
   3. A long line is to an amusement park ride
9. Which of the following are you most likely to find yourself saying at the end of a relationship?
   1. "I hope we can still be friends."
   2. "I'm not in right now, please leave a message at the beep."
   3. "Welcome to Dumpsville, population, YOU."
10. A woman who is uncomfortable watching you slap the monkey:
    1. Probably needs a little more time before she can cope with that sort of intimacy
    2. Is uptight and a waste of time
    3. Shouldn't have sat next to you on the bus in the first place.

_______________________________
CHEERS!!

 

Human Stupidity

 

I admit, I am ashamed of myself because I couldn’t keep up with the thread. Im only like a month and a half behind. So forgive me OM for I have sinned. I will think about my actions on this Sunday.

 

I don't believe it would hurt any drivers feelings if that place burnt to the ground. Anytime I've been there I've gotten to talk to someone trying for azzhole of the month.

 

I’d vote for the Peterbilt

 

I decided to open a can of Campbells Steak and Potato soup. Eating the soup with unsalted crackers.

 

Ok, New mirror put on Cascadia, and on this one is engraved with the words “Objects are CLOSER than they Appear.”

What happened to the stickers?
at least you can could take them off.



Did y’all see that trucker!!
he took that guys mirror off...
he was just passing, minding his own business



Oh and differential plug exchanged and no longer leaking.
I’m tired, that climbing under trucks takes it out of me more than it used too.