Trucking can be like a bad marriage...

And by the way people...I ran into that one monster guy today...it's like a curse or something...they disquest me more than any other person on this planet...but they were all up in my path today again...yuk...what the hll do they want from me??

 

Oh ye...the issue of protecting those you love...

Oh ye...those are really issues...duh.....

 

Come on man...call me all the ugly names you can think of....

let it all out...please...



Show off in front of the other truck drivers...

tell me how dumb and gay i am....


I love ya anyways....

 

Robin Williams line in this movie 'Good morning Vietnam!'

Always jumps out at me in the morning...
He was such an enthusiastic war time broadcaster, and many of the troops in Nam had come to depend on him to keep moral up...

It was based on a true story, true accounts...
I've never actually seen it all the way through though...

But now I kind of want to....

Anyhow...wild silly night...

I've gotta take a 'prep' test...to see how smart or dumb I am....so I know which classes to start at...

 

It's where I really belong...I've wasted so many years running
away from this...not finishing what I started...

And the end results is this....basically nothing...a fruitless life...and a fruitless industry....empty, totally empty....

In school I hope to forge old relationships, and forge new ones...
It's a safe enviornment for me where learning and exploring is encouraged...

Just the opposite of driving...in driving it seems the more you know, the more your shunned...(even had a recruitor tell me that once)...

In his mind I knew to much...or as they put it 'you know to much'....

Math is the door way to many exciting career paths...



With it...one can go on to do many things in many different industry...

Areo-space industry, mechanical engineering, medical, computer sciences
On and on and on....

Even management positions...without it, unless you have your own business and the capitol to start your own business, your always just a 25 yr old or 35 year old or 45 your old or 55 year high school grad...and that's how people always seem to treat you...

The benifits of college are many...here are a few..

1. You meet people, establish life long relationships..

2. Internships...that's how you get valuable experience, and your foot in the door of many firms who would otherwise never even consider you...

3. Your 'work', writing, projects, get published...

4. School funded trips to exciting places...(once saw some UF students in flip flops hop onto a King Air airplane at the airport...you would of thought they were going to the beach or something...



Of course this was at a University though...where tuition was much higher, and where alumni are vast and full of resorces...

But still...it just seems you get treated differently when your a 'student'...certain 'perks'...

And in school there's clubs and societies you can join...again the point of these groups is for you as a student to proove your leadership and or management skills....

Outside of the collegiate system, your like dwarfed in your relevancy....

I've been in both enviornments and have felt, seen the contrast...

You just gotta do what's right for you, as rocks said a few posts back...

And continueing down this dead in line is not right for me...where your only option becomes hoping inside of a truck for months out of the year...



Or working some other mundane labour job or retail job...basically stuff you did in high school....

I basically need to start over....

All my bad career decisions have finally caught up with me...and I've just ran out of steam...no more steam...not another mile...

And I wish I weren't in this spot...but I have no friends or support in this industry...it's a life of seclusion....when I'm dead, then I can be secluded, but while alive...I'd like to enjoy the benifits of being alive...
And a lot of that comes from interacting with others and achieving....

..................................................................................................


This trucking enviornment, and other drivers, have kept me down here far to long....



Down in a dark grungy damp warehouse...like some ugly stepchild...
hidden away and neglected and silently stomped on....

They would like to chain the door shut and leave me to rot and die....

Mentally, spiritually, and finally physically....

How can I stay in such a industry, an enviornment, and even other drivers, co-workers who wish this upon you?

I can't....and won't...

I was in school back in 2008 or 7 I forget...had I stayed in, think were I'd be now if I had only forged on, vs where I'm at now socially and career wise...

I jumped back into that truck like a fool...(well actually there's more to it than that...and a big chunk of my past i have always left out)....

but none the left...what a waste of time....total waste of time...

All I did was see more pilots, more T/A's more cashiers with attitude, more traffic, more wrecks, more depressed looking drivers...

Most look so spent and sad now...you can tell moral is at a all time low out there...

Cause many of them are running?
They choose driving school, over a more substantive school or future...

Driving is a short cut, a way out for most...why not take that 2-4 gran and get certified at HVAC or something else?

continued on next post...

 

Believe me...I don't like being in this spot...
I've left behind a lot of years of my life on the road...

If you could Weave it all together...months here, days there, weeks, seasons ect ect...
I've invested a lot of time, energy and money...

So of course you get to a point where you want it to pay off...and when it doesn't...it's not the best feeling in the world....

I mean it's like I've never driven at all...
There's absolutly nothing to show for it....

No friends, no trophies, never met a lady...well early on I did...

Long ago when there was more women getting into it...I did meet a few...but do to the schedual and never being able to see one another...the relationships just faded, again do to trucking...

You simply cannot build, establish a relationship with someone your never around...

I actually envy or am happy for those who have found their calling in trucking and or who are happy doing it...the ones with families, who have a vast support system...
Who's wife eagerly anticipate their return, and their kids are beaming with pride that their fathers a driver...

That is cool, very cool....but it never went down that way for me...
Even when I was 'normal'...which I always am while at work anyhow, it just never did....

I never played around with lot lizards....maybe that's how many drivers found their wives...I don't know....



it's funny, years ago I thought 'big'...wanted to see the world, wanted to travel every corner of the country, to see what was out there, see different people ect ect...

Now I'm just the opposite...now I'm more intrueged with 'small' stuff...ideas, formulas, keys, concepts....how things work, information....

And it's exactly where my mind should be for school....

But I doubt I'll be a full time student at first...gotta ease into it....so I'll still have to work...but not full time...
Have to get academic skills back up to at least what they were in high school

Basic things like putting together a resume, spreed sheets, basic internet language and terminology, grammer, punctuation...there's so many things you forget after being out of school...

After a while you start feeling 'retrded'....compared to what others know...

It's like learning how to walk again...

It's like you start to just fade into the past...

Oh well...

I think I'll watch the Pink Panther movie with Steve Martin...I need to laugh a bit...

 

I know this thread can be depressing to some...cause it seems like I keep harping about the same thing or theme over and over again...

And that is 'Trucking can be like a bad marriage'...

And it can be, and has been for me...with moments of joy and liberation here and there...

It's not the industries fault, nor is it the fault of the first trainer i ever had...
Things were way different back then, and at the time it was truly fun, and I truly did have a good foundation inwhich to become succesful...

What I lacked though, was guidence...

No one else in my family was a driver...none of my friends were drivers...
So it's liked I just stepped out on my own...

Like I look back I see now where there were critical moments when I should of 'acted', had opertunities to 'purchase' or 'lease'...(before it became a scam)...

I never really had a long term plan, cause I never wanted to stay in it as long as I have...and as a result...like many drivers in my position...you've ended up working for a gazillion companies, job hopping, never really staying at one company long enough to establish anything...and in the end it hurts you...

But obviously I was jumping around for a reason...for even back when I loved it, I could only take that lifestyle for so long at a time...

I so regret not staying in school all the times I went back...but then again...many times I couldn't do to finacial obligations...

How many of us will live to be 100?
I doubt anyone on here will....or even 80? or 70?...while still in good health...

(Sorry, more depressing analyst)...

Anyhow that being said...most who reach age 35 have already completed 50% of their life...

50% of 70 is (story problem conversion...it's been a while)

.5 x 70 = 35

And many peoples health and vision begin going out at around 45-50...expecially those who have neglected their health....

Folks begin having heart attacks and strokes, and diabetes, arthritas, joint problems, back pain, loss of hearing ect ect and a mirad of other health issues as we age...

So how many adult useful years do we actually have to play with?

I'd say you have from 17-55 to really be productive and make a difference...

55 - 17 = 38

38 productive years approximatly to be productive with...

We wait billions and billions of years to be born, are literaly 'nothing', not even a thought, for trillions of years...(years don't even make since when measuring space time...but to keep it simple)



And then we're born...on a small planet...given a conscious and self awareness...start societies, told there's a God who loves us...

Told about Adam and Eve and the whole story of salvation...
(Just speaking of Western society from about 1500 AD)...

(Look I have to keep this simple or I'll be writing all night)....

Anyways...after waiting all that time to be born...are given around 38 years of adult life to 'do our thing'....wow....

But are told if we believe in God, or his form of salvation, that that life can be extended 'forever'....

But that if we don't, then we return to 'nothingness'....again wow...

No wonder people believe in God and go to church, cause this life really is short...and once your alive, tasted life, who willingly wants to be blotted out again...horrible just horrible...

Once your alive you want to preserve your life...

I know, I'm starting to bounce around a bit...but I can do that cause this is just open thoughts, not a term paper...

Some times I wonder how one God can manage such vastness of space...

I mean space seems like such a in inhabital place, with radiation and black holes...where does God hang out out there?

I mean if he's not on earth, where is he?
Where is Jesus?
Where do they dwell?

Heaven?
But where is heaven?



Is heaven an invisible light spectrum?
Is it simply a matter of undetectable wave lengths?

I will be trying to find heaven when I go back to school, through math and the light spectrum...hey why not?

Unlike out here, in school the craziest ideas often yield spectacular results...even if you don't find what your looking for...

But out here your shunned, and just told to drive your truck...

I mean when God comes back, where is he coming back from??

The bible says he'll return from the sky with a host of angels...
But obviously it's not like he will have traveled far, they way we think of traveling...like distance wise...

So to me, it's more of a matter of crossing over from another deminsion, which is linked to this one...

And kind of like more being done for show...

A spectacular show...

Anyways...this is why I need to get back into school, to keep my thoughts busy...

 

Good Morning Vietnam!

It's sunny but a bit brisk out...



Have to step out for a minute...

UPS is hireing for holiday part-time posistions...
They're even hireing for drivers as well...



Can't do it, won't do it...I want winners!...

[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iWuUGG_Ujf8"]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iWuUGG_Ujf8[/ame]

I think I need this guy to be my personal coach right now...

Can't do it, won't do it...I want winners!...

No sleeping in on my part with Singletarey around yelling at me to get up...

(timeing folks...in radio and TV everythings about timeing)...

Anyways...

Can't do the UPS driver thing, Can't cut my hair, and be told how to look for no one, or no job that's just temp...

Can't do it, won't do it...I want winners!

Like in the previous post...I showed how short life really is...

Working life...useful life, and I forgot about 'sex appeal life'...

That's usually the shortest window of them all...

And in the past, any time I had a job where I had to cut this, trim that...the job was never worth my time, and I had to become a total conformist, and worked around compliant robots...

Can't do it, won't do it I want winners!

[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RKIufH9MsaY&feature=related"]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RKIufH9MsaY&feature=related[/ame]

I may not have his physic...but that's all me on the inside...

Ye, baby!

Back soon...

 

Ok everyone, gather around....



Forget about politics, talk radio and all that other divisive crap....

Let all that crap go...and think back to a time when your heart was pure...simple and before others crambed and rambed their own philosophies down your throat...so that you would become a mirror image of someone elses rage....let all that go and flush it down the toilet please...
Flush it down the toilet, your anger, your rage, or biases, your hatred, grudges, resentments, suspicions, dislikes, flush it down the toilet and don't look back...



Ok, now that all that's out of the way....how ya doen?

I hope your relaxed and in a good spot tonight, both emotionally and physically...(hey...I said let go of the hostility and anger...I still feel it in ya)....

Anyways...the holiday seasons upon us...a wonderful time of the year for many...but it can also be a sad time of the year...for those who have lost relatives and or loved ones....and or even a pet or pets....

Well they still live on in your mind and memory..and sometimes that's the best place to have fun....

My life, current situation is far from ideal or perfect....but do you want to know what keeps me going (aside from Budlight)....(just kidding, that was a joke)....love...a love for others....that's what keeps me going...

And not just towards those who reflect my image in the mirror or who reflect my philosophies on life...but a general love for humanity....

I probably get spat upon, made to feel more worthless, victimized by things in the past, more than many of you....



But it doesn't stop me from loving....
I will not allow this world to rob me of that basic element...

I made that promise to myself years ago...

Nor will I run out on you, as long as I'm alive...but if I'm dead and gone...you'll have to take that up with God...

Anyways...
I don't need dozens or hundreds of others chiming in on here to keep this thread alive and or going...for I have that ability on my own...

Cause what i say is heartfelt...right or wrong it's heartfelt...

And when you love people, the way God does...your able to see a lot more...your able to see 'over things'...that most can't, and will never, do to their tempurments and or biases....

So many allow 'fear' to be their guide....and as such remain small....

But all that aside...glad your here with me tonight...whether in a truck cab or at work, or sitting behind a desk or sitting on floor with blanket wrapped around legs next to fire place...it don't matter....

It's the Holiday season...life is short...and so sometimes you gotta let go and let God...(got that saying from an old girlfriend of mine eons ago...her first name was 'leah'....beautiful gal...from Tacoma, WA...

Not only that but props out to Sedro Wooley, WA...
way up there off of route 20...
And to Marysville, WA...such a special, cozy little town and community...
And of course to Everett, WA....another odd small but cozy place...

All those places have special meaning to me...
Anyways...let me wrap this up....please have a good night...and enjoy the season...
Continued on next post...