Trucking can be like a bad marriage...

Wow...that's all I can say is wow....

I find comfort in that I no longer feel alone, in how I sermise things...
But I also find sadness in the dreadful reality of it all....

Right now, I feel like I'm being 'raped' by my employer...here it is Thanksgiving eve...and I'm a good 360 miles away from where I need to be...I feel like I'm being 'raped'...tooken advantage of...and as such it has temporarily tempured my writing spirit...

This industry can be brutal to the emotions this time of the year...I had plans for tomorrow...and now...by the time I get back...I'll be to exhausted...

But either way I gotta get back...so if I drive through the night...I'll have to sleep for at least 6 hours to start off fresh....and if I wait till morning...the drive will eat up a good portion of the day...

Either way...I feel like I'm being held down and 'raped' by this industry....

Holidays come only once a year...and they can't even give me that...

And the people who sent me out here have long sinced started their holiday...their not even thinking about me...

I feel so trapped right now...I feel like putting in my two weeks...if I didn't work for a owner, I would...
But I work for a owner who leases with a company...the owner is cool...we get along great...but dispatch...well...they are dispatch...



Oh, I'll get you home on time...just trust me...hehehe...

They have put corporate interest ahead of the needs of drivers...
Kiss corporate but, at the expense of the driver....

If I worked for myself, I'd never tolerate this...

All I can do is take it in stride...I usually do...but I'm also known for quiting jobs up and suddenly...on a whim...

It's like someone punching you in the stomache...and then saying they love you....and then right after words, they punch you in the stomache again...

That's how this marriage to trucking feels....

Right now...hypithetically, I'm in a dark basement, chained to the wall...sitting on the cold floor...alone and seperated from all that brings me comfort...it's nice having someone who can relate, during a time like this...

 

No one dictates my life but me...not the government, not no one...

And if I need to get home, or anywhere else...I will get there...I'm not a slave...cld gv a dm about the 14 thing...expecially if I've already been sitting around sleeping all day anyhow...now I'm just suppose to sleep again for no reason...

15 hours of none productivity...this log stuff is flawed...

No other trade are you help prisoner to like this, and told to stay put...
People in offices aren't told to 'stay in your office for 10 hours till you get your rest'...and the door chained...



Only drivers are treated this way...(and pilots)....

It's almost like servitude, being held against your will...expecially this time of the year...your left out here alone...and told to find solice from sitting inside your trucked parked on some asphalt slab...

Oh...the parties that are going on right now...the gatherings...

And as a driver I'm expected to sacrifice my precious time...time that is not garunteed to be given to you the next day....

Unlike some...I do not find solice in sitting in a fiber glass truck alone...I'm not ready to die yet...

 

:smt074....Up and quit this job man, you don't need it...see how they do you...they don't care, they're allowing your life to rot away out here on the road, alone and in desolation...you can do better...quit!!


:smt051....Let's be rational about this...if you quit now...what will you do?
Jobs are hard to come by now...why not stick around until you've met your finacial goals...and use this job as a bridge to acheiving better things??

:smt074....no, screw that...how many times are ya gonna let them scrw you? We're talken pride here...if you do nothing, they'll think they can get away with it again...what's next xmas? Are you suppose to give that up to?

.....be patient...by Monday, this will all be behind you...stick it out for a few more months...

:smt096....And you will be a lesser soul because of it...because you let them walk on you tonight, and did nothing about it...in order to send a message, you must quit...

....Count your blessings boy...you have a job...and should get detention pay...count your blessings...

:smt074....Detention pay...hah!! what a joke...whens the last time you got detention pay?? quit kidding yourself...it will never get better...and you will only loose more and more of yourself out here...the longer you stay...and soon you'll loose all the zeal and zest you have for life...
You'll turn into a old hairy hermit...

Rod Sterling...Twilight Zone...



What we have he is a tortured soul, struggling with his inner demons and angels...
He listens to both, hoping to bring balance and rational to his emotions before he decides further what to do...
And that decision...either way, will be made soon, and it will all occur here, and only the way it can...Inside the Twilight Zone....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zi6wNGwd84g

 

1. First and foremost to stop driving and pull over....
It's been a long long day...both physically and emotionally...and I've done this long enough to know when you just need to stop...and take a time out...

2. There's nothing I can do about the situation, what happened tonight...my long delay...so I will relax, and let it go, and work with what I have....

But before I go any further...I would like to say that 'stress' can be a killer...literally...

1. 43% of all adults suffer adverse health effects from stress...43%!!

2. 75% to 90% of all doctors office visits are for stress related ailments and complaints..

3. Stress can play a part in problems such as, headaches, high blood pressure, heart problems, diabetes, skin conditions asthma, arthritis, depression and anxiody...

http://www.webmd.com/balance/guide/effects-of-stress-on-your-body

And or to read more about the effects on the body...refer to link...

As a result of reading the above...I need to make some important decisions based on that....prolonged stress can eat away at you in many ways...and if I can't figure out a way to come to harmony with what I do...I need to make a calculated, rational, change...

One way I deal with stress, obviously, is by writing...writing about any and everything...trying to learn from my own experiences...kind of like Cpt Kirks 'Log date' at the end of each show...

Remeber Star Trek...



Remeber how at the end of each show Capt Ed would enter in a Log date report...no matter what...no matter the adventure or misadventure...at the end of the show...he would try to sum things up in a positive way...in a 'what lesson did we learn from this' type of way...or in a 'final disposition' type of way...

Doing that helps give your life perspective...and it keeps you from going off the deep end...

Anyways...I'm at a truck stop now...just chilling...it's totally dead here...no one is up...

like I said...these drivers love...and I mean love to sleep...all they do is sleep and eat...this situation out here is ideal for them...


Rest is good though...
But when I first came out here, drivers never slept...and truck stops were 'wild'...boy how things have changed...now drivers come out here to sleep...and really are innocent I guess...

It's just if I sleep to much...I feel I'm cheating myself out of life and time...I'll have plenty of time to sleep when i'm dead...

I wonder what the heck these sleeping drivers dream about??



I mean is this what they dream about??

Anyways...guess I should join them...in sleeping...after all, that's why I stopped...to calm my nerves...and get some rest...so i can wake up tomorrow with a new, better attitude...

Good night...I think...

 

Oh, I didn't even see you guy...that would be a great movie if written and directed right, and finding a convincing cast to play the role and or roles...

To me, that would be one of the most thrilling part of the whole process, is screening the right people for the right roles...(if book were ever made into a movie or play)...

That's a job I would thoroughly enjoy...screening people...

That's so important to how a movie will effect the audience...

You can have a good script, with bad actors...or good actors with a bad script...

I wonder which is better?? Or would cause less damage??

U4EA....I'm so glad you chimed in tonight...so glad...I don't feel so lonely now...as you can see, I was just babbling away there...

I'm so glad your here though...out there...now I can relax a bit more as I fade off into la la land...(I don't feel so lonely in the basement now...)



Good night guy...

 

Yum yum...turkey leg...



Hope everyone is where there suppose to be today...or where they want to be....

I finally made it back home....and will stay here...I was suppose to go up and see someone...a relative...an accomplished person...who is, well...never mind...information like that is only shared with those who take the time to get to know me, like U4EA....

But ye, I made it back...and in a much more calm mood than last night...I've learned it does no good to get worked up over stuff you can't solve...all it does is put stress on your heart...

So...I'm here at 'home' now...having a cold one...



Why not...an imperfect soul like me deserves a beer every now and then...
And my Thursday meal will probablly consist of this...



These are awsome meal sized dinners, ready in 1:00 in microwave...
They come in a variety of servings...
They sell them at truck stops too, a great alternative to hamburgers and or corndogs...(my weakness)...

It's nice to come home, go to store, get fresh vegtibles, and eat them raw...you know like salad bags with brocoli and califlower and carrots...ect ect...
I eat it all raw...and feel better right away...

I send my pal photos from time to time...and in them...I'm thin and healthy looking...but yet unemployed....why?
Cause even though unemployed...I was eating much healthier and less...and it showed...
Sometimes we get employed, we get money...we start driving again, we start buying junk food and not excercising...and then our health goes...

Anyways...I'm just babbling right now...I write more than paid journalist or commentators for newspapers...

I'm not topic specific right now...just general chatter...

(phone just rang)....I did not answer...cause I did not recognize the number...but suspected it might be my Aunt....

I just got in and am burned out...(this is the effect trucking has on you, when you finally get home, your burned out and just want 'alone time'...just for a few hours)

They, dispatchers, don't care and don't realize that you need prepreation time for the holidays...like at least 5-10 hours to prepare...mentally, physically and spiritually...you need time to seperate yourself from the road, and absorb yourself back into local life...

You can't just step out your truck, feeling all dirty and gritty, and jump right into social activity...at least I can't...I need that 'decontamination time'....



You drivers know what I mean...

Or at least some of you do...you have to transition from feeling like nobody, to somebody again...

Anyways...time to end this ice breaker post....I'm home now...in Florida...weather is perfect...nice and warm, sunny....lovely....

Next post will be more topic specific...
Enjoy your meal and day...