Help! Short story about a Wisconsin truck driver

I'm an unpublished fiction writer whose main character in a short story is a truck driver from southern Wisconsin. The story's main focus is not that the protagonist (Charlie) is a truck driver, but it's important to me that when Charlie talks about his job or is driving his truck that the story is believable.

I wrote a draft of this story two years ago and recently picked it back up. I enjoy the concept of the story so I'd like to fix it. One of the biggest problems it has, I think, is that when Charlie is on the road, I don't really know what I'm talking about.

Charlie is divorced and near retirement, probably between the ages of 55-60. In the story he talks about how he has always wanted to be an owner operator so that he can make his own schedule, but he never does - at least not in the period of his life that he's reflecting on. (The concept of the story is retold by Charlie 5 years or so after the fact.)

The scene where Charlie is shown in his truck, he is taking a load from somewhere in Wisconsin to Knoxville, Tennessee. He reflects on how every time he can go no further east than Knoxville, he wishes he could take some of the beautiful roadways he's traveled on in the past - namely, 23 miles from the Great Smoky Mountains Parkway from Sevierville, Tennesee (where "the locals go crazy with LED lights in winter), and if he's going through North Carolina and/or Virginia, the Blue Ridge Parkway.

The purpose of the scene as presently constructed is really to show how he wishes he was an owner operator, more in control of his schedule. He talks about how, if he were an owner operator, he'd maybe rent a car and take the more than 400 miles along Blue Ridge up through N.C. and Virginia after dropping off a load.

Basically, I'm looking for any advice on how I can make this general setup most believable. What do you guys think of Interstate 40 west of Knoxville in September? Does Charlie's sense of the "weight of the Great Smoky Mountains" just out of his reach resonate with any of your own experiences? I.e. could interstate travel in this area create a sense of longing for the scenery east of Knoxville? I've traveled this area in my past, but it's been years. I only remember how beautiful some of these roads are east of Knoxville. I can't recall if interstate 40 has its own beauty, especially in September/October.

Generally speaking, how much freedom does a company truck driver really have when he wants to divert his path so that he can take more aesthetically pleasing routes?

Is the concept of an owner operator who wants to drop off his load and then rents a car to "sail the Blue Ridge" a believable one? Or would a company driver who has the time and desire to do this (rent a car and see more of the sights), present challenges outside of money that I'm not seeing?

Logistically speaking I'm also concerned with my vague ideas about what truck company Charlie works for in Wisconsin, and whether or not a route to Knoxville, Tennessee and/or N.C. and Virginia happens regularly enough with whatever company I settle on.

I'll stop here, but I think it's obvious I have so many questions I can't answer on my own. I would greatly appreciate any input.

Also, if anyone would be interested in letting me interview them on the phone or in person for this story I would be eternally grateful. I understand the best thing for me to do with this short story is talk to a truck driver. I've worked in news writing so I'll do my best to avoid being awkward and disorganized. Lol.

The story means a lot to me, and I happen to have a nice window of time in front of me with which I can flesh this baby out. But, as I'm sure I made clear enough, I'm stuck! Thanks again for reading and also to anyone who feels inclined to help me out.
-Noah

 

Lots of good stuff in your post, ac120. Thank you.

Somehow, it hadn't occurred to me that there could be legal issues with a specific carrier name. Making up a carrier seems the best way to go.

"Freedom of the open road / prisoner of the highway" -- that's the effect I'd like to create for the reader without being heavy-handed about it. Kudos for getting right to the heart of the matter.

"Charlie"/song -- thanks very much for pointing out this song. I had never heard it. The name of the protagonist isn't important to me yet, and so far in my new draft of the story, it isn't even mentioned (the story is told in first-person.) Honestly, I might scrap the name "Charlie" later if I reach the conclusion that a decent number of folks might think of this song. Not that it's a bad song, of course. But I think you catch my drift. "Charlie" might seem generic besides. Off topic: It's amazing how much a story changes conceptually as words make their way down the page. I think in the first draft I wanted an "everyman" - a Charlie - but Charlie's a'changin'.

Thanks for the "flavor" - I've spent some hours just reading/listening to some truck drivers, and the songs/book will add to that.

Any other tips from yourself and others in this thread would be much appreciated!

Once I'm able to PM, I'll definitely see if you're still interested in providing an interview. Otherwise, feel free to email me at osmosis520 at yahoo dot com. I could give you my phone number or vice versa, or we could do an interview through email. I hope to have my second draft ready before I do an interview, because I know I'll need a third and final draft, though hopefully not with as much adjustment. In other words, I'm hoping that I'll know everything I want to ask by the end of next week.