Safety for women drivers

I had male trainers back when I started and no problems. I never really worried about it. Haven't honestly had any problems in the 6 years I've been out here since, either. While there are #######es out there, chances are you'll be fine. If you're more comfortable waiting for a female trainer, though, then do that. Kinda up to you. If you do get one that tries something, then get off the truck and get on the phone.

 

Sane companies watch their male trainers who work with female trainees like hawks. That doesn't mean there can't be problems, but it does mean that the trainers should not give you any problems.

That said, watch your body language. If you come from a family with recent European, Hispanic, or Asian roots, its possible that your default social interactions are more likely to be close enough to send the wrong social signals. Most US natives have a larger personal space than Europeans or Asians. Encroaching into that space can be seen as either a threat or sexual interest.

Walking across the parking lot with your trainer? Keep an arm's length away. End of the day, and you are both heading to the bunk? Let them settle in first instead of trying to squeeze past them.

Try to avoid proximity closer than what is needed for a handshake without a shoulder-clap.

This goes for men too, but for different reasons, generally.

 

I doubt if a trainer would give you any trouble and kiss his career away over a sexual harassment charge.. Just make sure you get one with good hygiene and stops to shower every couple days.

 

Female trainees are not a problem with me, because my heart is with someone here at home. And I trained her msyelf as well.

However. I had to teach spouse about the prositution and other things that I will encounter along the way in her presence before we got into it. So that when it does happen within her sight and hearing she does not make it any worse than necessary. In other words trusted me to defuse that situation and inform the female stranger that I am married and she is right there with me. They usually are pretty good about it and take off.

I wont make a habit of taking females though. They have to be able to learn by doing and frankly there is no room for anything beyond teacher-student or trainee-trainer business in that truck. There cannot be. Ever.

However, I am damaged goods because long before I married someone, I would go into dangerous places with women who would be pretty dangerous out of necessity among other problems. One of the best things was to protect your own health and future by not engaging in behavior that would potentially create a STD situation or future health problems or death related to that. Some of the women have become infectious just by standing on the fuel tank bothering me in Memphis. (Lice and bugs etc hopping across open window...) And you wonder why I go sleep on a mountain somewhere far from a city.

Ive run into and worked with many females over my time since we had a batch in our own driving school and I think that was the best start for all of us in those days having them around with good instructors to set the right tone for everyone without conflict.

Ive said all I am going to say here but I leave you with this thought. I grew up in a time where men were men and women were women. I have watched a new generation (Or two) grow up into something else entirely what with the tolerance and all that. And because of that I do not engage any female into any situation whatsover. There is a whole different stack of problems that can come in and before you know it both parties end up with really big problems.

I did not mistreat anyone who came and went. But I noticed the change when boys came around (under 25 or so...) in the late 90's To me that was not acceptable because I was not raised that way.

Im glad we got out when we did. Things have gotten to where it's a problem in some areas of the USA. We have actually had a invasion into my truck against my wife one day from a sexual predator who chased her into it. Found me coming for to kill him to end it. He essentially saved his life by abandoning the situation and taking a 15 foot jump and ran for his freedom. What I should have done was put him into jail there in TN and that would be that. But no. My first priority was to check the spouse medically and get clear of there. It's pretty intense.

Im sort of glad he stopped the threat and fled. I needed a few days to be quiet and think over how a switch was flipped from being peacefully resting to taking out a bad guy inside of me. That would have been a mess. So if I need to live quietly and behave then so be it. Certain situations come up and certain behaviors become automatic with permanent results.

Now I lighten things up a little bit.

Back in the flatbed days you get these drivers working chain against big coil of steel etc. Once in a while you are being polite to a stranger who is having trouble with a binder or something to help and make the mistake of saying sir when it's a Ma'am on that thing. It takes a moment to smooth some feathers now and then very quickly. Or it's lights out for you lol.

However.

My last work in the auction house required that men and women be in close quarters all day and they had by then imposed pretty strict EEOC rules at several levels including rules regarding workplace violence and so on.

Things have definately changed.

I say this.

If you find a female trainer who is morally straight (And I have had a few in my time believe it or not... very good ones too) and you prefer that without the issues of a man in that small space, go get it.

Just remember this. If they assign you a male trainer and there is a hint of a problem you do not feel right about you MUST contact someone asap. Everything has to be all stop right then and there at that moment if it is without your consent etc. It's very important. Not everyone is "Right"

Maybe I am a little bit more tight about that than anything as a medical patient. There are certain times a female has to come and in do some medical work on me here and there where necessary and there is usually a male by law in that room to make sure there is nothing that will be a problem (Or vice versa etc) I don't have a problem generally. Im just too set in my ways.

 

I've often wondered about a male and female in a truck while in a training type situation. The reason is the close proximity. You could definitely call that an intimate situation, and it goes on for weeks or longer. Some would call it inappropriate.

Realizing that all involved are being extremely professional, (in the best case scenario), it sounds like it should work out just fine. But then again, how often do things go exactly how there suppose to.

I started driving, (with the lovely Wifey), about 6 years ago. All of my driving experience has been team driving with her. We have a healthy and happy marriage and are both physically active. By physically active I mean physically happy, just trying not to be explicit.

I just wonder if two people who might find the other to be attractive can be in that situation and not act on it. Inappropriate would be the best way to describe the situation if one or both parties are involved in separate relationships.

Just my thoughts.

 

No, next question

 

I will answer that simply. When you have had a upbringing that is a certain way as I did with the right sort of people to raise me in those days back in the 60's as you might recall either from your own experience being alive then or via history as a time of sexual liberation and revolution, free love and all that.

I consider myself very lucky as a child to have been in good hands in those years. HOWEVER....

The State of Maryland kept me in Columbia the deaf school in a dorm situation for 4 years in the 70's each week as part of my early elementary education. There is no point in specifying particular grades because I was in additional schools PRIOR to that one.

In that school was a particular staffer counsler. He was a male. A state worker responsible for the care of the children in our dorm which I believe out of 64 kids both girls and boys (Separate dorms) there was roughly 24 of us in ours. I will have to check those old year books from those years to confirm the count. Across the hall was the girls dorm with the 24 in that unit. There was armed security day and night in very close proximity because there are also two other dorms containing both boys one side and girls of another in different grades all together accessible through and past their security station.

Unfortunately when I was about 8, this one counselor who would have been aged early 30's by then, a nice man it seemed. (Remember there is a specific group of counselors what would be houseparents to use a older term, especially the then night staffers. This one had quarters next to our dorm for additional access and security as the theory goes.

This particular man struck me as unnatural. A child knows these things when they are raised properly instantly. I told him off. What I did not know at that time how to pass the word higher up. His actions towards me stopped instantly and for the rest of my time there he has never tried anything with me.

Unfortunately he was a predator and had 4 of us were his victims in that school three of which finally broke mentally by the time they hit high school under continued being preyed on by predatory staffers. No cameras, internet etc in those days. Those who broke were shipped out of our society and essentially became wards of the state to live out their lives in a extreme secure institution. Springfield Hospital would be one location.

I was a warrior in those days. But I knew nothing of the true horror of the depredation that went on for years at night in the dorms in two different school campuses. A second staffer made a move on me in a situation that was not correct.

Eventually both ended up in jail. One died there. Probably killed by others. Two more were actually caught and convicted of child and minor sex crimes against those less than 18. All 4 of whom I knew as counselors. One in particular I have always watched very carefully because at that time I had girlfriend who was preyed on by her dad.

When you are in a situation like that for 8 years or more keeping a careful watch over those who cannot protect themselves from being preyed on as victims and learning which staff were predators things change in my mind as a child.

My own family had a disco in those days for a while. There was a certain amount of unfortunate exposure to certain adult behaviors that I would call unnatural and degenerate. I was getting older then and was under and was protected by people who knew darn well what was up and made sure I was not hurt.

Except one. My grandfather on my mothers side.

A pair of twin boys who were next door neighbors caught me by the fence and after assuring me that they are not a threat, bullies and so on and wanted to talk, we set on the grass in the sun at that fence between houses and they talked to me. I wont disclose the contents of that particular time. When I had learned what was done to these two twins it matched one incident I had with grandfather who was not right. I confronted him in our kitchen then and there. He exploded.

That was the last time i ever saw those twins. And that was a major major problem through the entire family in those days. How do you raise me and not allow me to get damaged towards females. They did a great job. Nothing wrong with me. But the night after we buried my grandfather whom no one had any love for, things were said finally that needed saying that night. And that was the end of that.

Now in my time we had many truckers come and go. Stories are told and lessons taught. Long long before I hit truck school on my own. Some of the content is not right to be here online. What is enough is that I reached adulthood without getting damaged. Some did not. I have had been blessed in those days with very good girlfriends who were... absolutely fun in every way but with limits because of their own problems with predators.

Maybe I am more sensitive than most because of my life up to that point. There are good people and not so good people in this world. It's just what it is is. Good and evil. If you are in the light, all be well. Live well, work hard rest easy. But should evil be present, it is my hope that you detected it quick and get it settled before someone gets really hurt.

There is I suppose a certain amount of carnal sins in humans because we are sinners all. And certain feelings towards strangers etc depends on the overall situation. I have had several women (Same age as me etc) who explained that there are feelings, is it mutual? Yes. But they must understand I am a OTR long haul trucker gone for weeks, and months. I might not be alive come morning. So Iive each day.

I think these three understood to let me go and do my thing as a OTR trucker and they did. As I let them go to live whatever it is life offered them. They have my love. But... certain things just cannot be.

Fast forward many years later to lighten things up a little bit. I had em a load to california out of Batesville. Pulled into a little truckstop here in Arkansas for a meal. Intent on 4 days to Cali and nothing else.

Well there she is serving me a meal and I paid for it.

To leave everything as it was I never left. And even with the ravagages of cancer and everything else Im still with her as a team until the day we die.

I would hope that everyone in this world could be so lucky in life. But it is what it is when you go into say Hunts Point or Memphis or what ever else and some hooker is standing on your fuel tank, hey baby want a date?

It's not for me. Not when I was a single man. I was raised too well. HOWEVER. I have had some dinners with two evaluating them as they did me. But it's not for us. And so it must go.

But if you wanted to talk or go into theory about carnal sins that are inside us all vices and such... this forum is probably not going to do well with that subject. Ive said enough with diplomacy and very careful word choice.

 

I am truly sorry for the things that you have experienced. I was born in the early 70's for whatever that means. I was truly stating my own personal opinion and did state that. I truly hope that all is well with you.

 

All is more than well.

I wanted to approach some thoughts expressed here with examples of what is possible.

There is absolutely no need to be sorry. Actually it's the opposite. I did not take those troubles as harmful or become a victim more than necessary I suppose. But boy life is fun when things are well with those you love and who love you back. Everything else? HA....

You did bring up thoughts that I would find interesting in a conversation towards theology or such. But I suspect that there are limits to what is possible here in a forum like this and want to keep it such.

When I was with wife on the road, yes there were times that the load was a little bit early and a holiday time of the year or some other occasion to come off the clock and take a little time for each other. THAT's memorable. and a part of what binds a marriage even better I would say.

When you put a female and a man both who are truckers by CDL etc into say a small Pete with a standard sleeper etc it's a very small space and anything is possible within the subject of this thread. But it IS a very GOOD question that must be explored. Especially today in the 2000's It's not limited by gender anymore, follow me so far?

I am not suited to take a conversation towards that level of tolerance because what is going on now among some of our young is nothing like what went on back in the 60's and 70's It's pretty vile to me.

The best trainers or the best teams are those who know that the front of the cab is a office and that the sleeper is a sort of home. When that truck is parked, should the team be married etc it IS home. If it is not a married team and a trainer-trainee or even just two drivers running one truck.. well.. we will see how it goes eh?

Ive said enough. I wish you well. And no harm done. I see my years currently as a peaceful happy time. With enough thinking for those who might never had a chance to live as well as we have had.