Hello from S.C.

Hello everyone, I am new here and want to introduce myself. I am 52 & have been in health care for 30yrs and it was time for a change. I'm one of the ones that put people on the life support which also includes taking people off life support. After many years of this and watching the end results and the suffering the families go through, it was time for a change. I think I have seen everything a person could do to another to hurt, shoot, stab, overdose (kids & adults) newborn stillbirth, asthma attacks, flu, pneumonia, surgeries gone bad, and everything in between. Like I said, time for a change.
Most of my family has been in truck driving most of their life, so I have been around it forever it seems, so this feels like the right fit for me. Now my dilemma, I attended one of the company based CDL training schools in Missouri. They offer great benefits, pays good, open door policy, lots of extras for their employees, etc... Got my permit, went on the road for 4wks with an "instructor". Things started off bad at the beginning, but we were told at the beginning, you may get yelled at a time or two till ya get it. The I instructor not yelled but screamed the majority of the time that we were gonna die with every time something happened. Several times when I would ask about something to do with the truck, I would get told it wasn't any of my business just hold the wheel, meanwhile she would be in the bunk sleeping or watching tv. When we were at a truck stop ONCE, she let me back straight back and that was pretty much the extent of my backing. I could say much more but won't out of respect for the company. We were explained a situation at the beginning of our orientation about a student that got an instructor in trouble and he was sent home, I didn't want to go home without a job and a future. We returned for my CDL test, got the pretrial stuff, airframe stuff, but when it came to the backing I would miss it. Tried & when asked about backing on the road, I told them no we didn't work on it and of course she "reminded" me that we did, which just made me look stupid, like I was trying to say "my instructor just didn't work on this with me". She was nice enough to say that in the beginning everything was the students fault anyway, so that made it so much better. We had to go see the FM, I was taken out by another driverr for 're evaluation and when we returned he told them he saw no reason why I shouldn't be let try again. One of the original instructors suggested I go out with a different driver for a week and I thought that was a ducky idea. I got sent back out with the same driver for a week.
Well, it didn't work out so I'm back in SC, currently staying with a high school friend due to having to move. Couldn't pay my rent, bills, etc..., before all this came about, my ex forgot to make house payments on our "home" for 2 years and lost out home, he wanted to file bankruptcy, I decided divorce was a better option. In turn I also lost my great danes and ended a 19yr marriage, I'm still standing on two feet and intend to keep it that way. I have no intentions of giving up till I am in my own truck with a set of CDL license.
suggestions or help greatly appreciated. I usually put 110% into things I strive for. I am looking for a future with a progressive growing company.
HELP!!!!!!

 

Just my permit, but there's no giving up. It's just me in this ole world and I ain't done yet, lol.